Adrielle drifted into that twilight of half-wakefulness that so often follows a restless sleep. She had just been dreaming, but her dream was already fading away. Whatever pivotal task she had been struggling with mere moments earlier was now so distant in her memory she could barely remember what it was. With her dream retreating, reality was trickling begrudgingly back to her. Where was she? What time was it? Had she slept in?
This wasn't her bedroom, in fact she was lying in a bed much more comfortable than her own. She could see daylight coming through a narrow slit window. It was long past morning. As soon as she moved, she became aware of the warm body in front of her, held dearly in her arms.
Morgana! All at once, that slow trickle became a breaking wave as reality finally came crashing back to her. No, she was not home at all, and she didn't know if she would ever return home again! The powerful sorceress in front of her was holding her captive within this castle, and what had Adrielle done about it? She had befriended her captor and committed abominations with her!
"Ah, you're awake now!" Morgana whispered, warmly. "Do you feel rested?"
Adrielle only groaned groggily. She made to get up, but found her right hand was pinned somewhere on the other side of Morgana's body. Morgana briefly raised one knee, long enough to free Adrielle's hand. That last memory returned to her, almost as a final insult, reminding her of the extent of her sin. She had fallen asleep with her hand cupping that impressive mound of Morgana's as tenderly as she might have held a lover's hand. Morgana had accepted the touch gratefully, but it had been Adrielle who had offered it in the first place. Had she seriously spent all night with her hand against another woman's private parts?
"What time is it?" she muttered, sleepily.
"Well into the evening, I believe. The servants should have supper ready soon, if you're hungry. Or you can stay here and sleep longer if you like. You've only been asleep for four or five hours. I wouldn't blame you if you needed more than that... especially after your ordeal with the wall."
Adrielle recalled it had been early afternoon when Morgana had caught her in her second escape attempt. Her punishment had been to stand with her bare breasts magically affixed to a wall for a full twenty-four hours. It had been a full day of standing in one position, unable to move, sit, or sleep. That would have made it early afternoon of the following day, when she was finally released and allowed to sleep. But before she had gone to sleep...
"Did we commit a sin?"
Adrielle rolled to the edge of the bed. She meant to stand up, but was suddenly reminded of her nakedness as soon as she brushed the sheets aside. But as badly as she wanted to cover herself, she wanted to get some distance between her and the sorceress even more, so she stayed at the edge of the bed away from her. She sat hunched over in order to keep her front side somewhat concealed, not that there was anyone in front of her to see. She squinted, trying to keep her sleep-heavy eyes open. Even sitting, the room seemed to wobble around her.
"What?" Morgana replied with an amused laugh, almost as one might respond to a child that had said something adorably nonsensical. "Of course we didn't, love. At least you certainly didn't."
Adrielle felt the bed shift as Morgana got up. She heard her sigh as she stretched. Adrielle only stared at the floor in front of her feet.
"You think so? I mean, the Bible says it is an abomination for a man to lay with a man. It doesn't say the same about two women, but I always thought it was supposed to apply to us, too."
"Adrielle, love, it's not a sin for men to fuck each other, either. That book has ruined so many people's lives. I've studied it, too, but you shouldn't take its words literally. Forget what that old book says. What does your heart tell you? Mine tells me what we did was natural and beautiful!"
Morgana's last few words had sounded sincere enough, but Adrielle still felt hurt. She wanted to believe that they had done nothing wrong, in fact she almost did believe it. 'Natural and beautiful...' That was certainly how it had felt to Adrielle at the time. She didn't want to believe she had committed a grievous sin by simply following her heart.
Yet the core of her faith told her that she had sinned. Ruined lives? Perhaps, but she had also seen so many lives made better through its teachings. Her whole life had been devoted to this faith, and it hurt her deeply to hear it denounced so dismissively.
But had she really devoted her whole life to Christ? What she had just done may have been her worst sin, but it was far from her first. Though she had never taken a husband, she was no virgin. Even discounting the villains she had lain with in order to kill, she had already taken two lovers in her life quite voluntarily. She couldn't pass those flights of passion off as necessary acts of war like she could her contract kills. And even then, did she really have to have sex with them first? The unattractive ones she usually just killed as soon as she could. It was only with the handsome ones she would wait till after the deed had been done. One way or another, she had some things to repent for. Repent or face damnation, the good book told her.
Adrielle forced her mind to stop wandering. She looked around to Morgana, who was waiting in the doorway of her chamber, still stark naked. One elbow was propped against the doorframe.
"Will you come to dinner, love? My other servants are eager to meet you."
Adrielle groaned, rubbing her eyes. She hoped she could pass off her sudden bout of shame and self-doubt as simple grogginess.
"Or you could sleep more, if it pleases you."
"I'll meet them," she said, and stood up. Her hands wanted to grab for her clothes as she normally did when she woke up after sleeping nude. But this time there were no clothes for her. The ones she had worn sneaking into the castle had been ripped to shreds by one of Morgana's spells, and she wasn't certain there were any other clothes in this entire castle except for that cloak that Morgana sometimes wore.
Well, she had gotten used to nakedness yesterday, and she could certainly get used to it again if she tried. At long as everyone else was naked, it wasn't like she would stand out. She resisted the urge to take the sheets with her. Morgana probably wouldn't have let her anyway. She made the decision to be proud of how she looked and followed Morgana.
***