Wednesday.
So there I was. Standing there in my kitchen, staring across the countertop, looking at what HAD to be a real, honest-to-god genie. I mean, despite everything that my head told me was possible, or IMpossible, a freaking humanoid body had just appeared out of nowhere. I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't under some kind of spell. It was just... there. All I had done was start cleaning an old, tarnished, silver jewelry box I had found in the basement when all hell had broken loose, ending at the present moment.
Why did I think she was a genie? Well, from the combination of what I had just seen and how she was dressed, it was pretty clear. My first thoughts were how strange it was that she looked so much like the depictions one often saw in books or on TV. I guess all of that mythology was based on a good amount of fact. No, she didn't look like Barbara Eden from "I Dream of Genie", or even the DirectTV girl. But she was darned cute. Long dark hair, nice curvaceous body, and a face anyone could love.
"So, Lenny, what will it be?" she said to me. Her tone of voice indicated happiness, playfulness, and what sounded like a wee bit of mischief.
"You'll forgive me if I find this a little unbelievable?" I said with a chuckle.
"Entirely normal. We have been around for uncountable centuries, and each time we emerge we always seem to encounter a totally different attitude towards our appearance."
"Are there more than one of you in there?
"Oh, no! I just meant 'we' as a species. But we also do refer to ourselves that way, even when *I* am just referring to myself. Sorry if that's a little confusing."
"Well I'd say that's about the LEAST confusing thing going on here!"
She giggled and seemed to appreciate my attitude. My scientific side was starting to get very curious about this once in a lifetime opportunity. "Can you tell me more about you and your 'species'?"
"Yes, we could. But that's not how this works. Our task here is to help you with something you need or want, and then we return to our realm."
"You mean in that little box?"
"Well, it might look like a little box to you, but it's really a portal to our realm. When you summoned me it acted to transport us here to you."
"There's really so much us humans don't know, isn't there?"
"You have no idea." She gave a cute little smile and proceeded, "So, again, Lenny, what can we do for you?"
"Wow, I just don't know where to begin!" I said. "Money... power... it's just not something that pops right out of my head!"
"That's understandable." She paused briefly. "May we touch you for a moment?"
I didn't see why not, so I nodded my head. She stepped over and lightly placed her finger on my forehead, then closed her eyes. I watched her intently, and I could see her eyes darting back and forth beneath the lids, almost like she was in REM sleep mode. I also saw her lips move a little... as though something she was seeing was amusing to her. Then she removed her finger and opened her eyes as she backed away from me.
"Thank you for allowing us to delve into your mind. If you are interested, we can tell you what it is you desire most of all."
Of course I was stunned. I didn't realize that that's what she intended to do, but then I realized that she probably felt she was performing me a service. I also realized that if I was honest with myself, I KNEW what it was I wanted.
"OK... hit me!"
"Her name is Sarah, isn't it?" she said as she gave a coy little smile.
She had hit it right on the head. I had fostered a crush on Sarah for over a year. She lived across the courtyard from me, and I'd first seen her coming and going from time to time. Sometimes we'd run into each other and chat. For the last few months, I'd been going over to her place to chat, watch TV, or for small parties and such. She was sweet, funny, and cute as hell. We were definitely friends, but I would have loved more. And given that I knew she didn't have a boyfriend at the time, I had tried. However, the first time I had suggested that we do something "date-like", she let me know that she wasn't interested in pursuing that course with me. Friends was fine, but JUST friends. I would have to live with that. Of course, that didn't stop her from being the object of pretty much every fantasy I had.
I turned back to my guest. "You really have that trick down well!"
"It's a skill we have," she said as she gave a little shrug of her shoulders.
"So, like, you just make her fall in love with me or something?"
She gave a deep sigh and started to slowly pace around my kitchen.
"No Lenny, it's a little more complicated than that. It probably doesn't HAVE to be more complicated, but, there are rules to be followed. We know, we know, it seems strange to you. It does to us, too. Things could be easy and straightforward, but the rules must be followed, even though they take what could be a straight line between two points and turn it into a tangled, rambling mess."
I kept staring at her and listening intently as she continued her little bit of venting.
"We THINK that the rules were put in place to inject a little bit of the unknown into whatever we are trying to accomplish. We can set things up to go in a general direction, but random actions and random twists of fate can bend the outcomes. Sometimes things turn out exactly as we thought, sometimes better, sometimes worse. We're telling you all that because we want you to know that nothing is a 'done deal' here. You take a little bit of risk as part of the experience."
"Uhhhhhh... but I mean, like, how bad can things get?"
"Sorry, but there's really no way of knowing. You have to understand, we're not going to try to trick you or anything. We'll set things out on a proper course that will be clear for you to see, but we can't guarantee that everything will go exactly to plan, right?"
I understood what she was saying, and it didn't sound like one of those Twilight Zone stories where someone wishes for a million dollars, it shows up in their bank account, and then the IRS comes and tosses them in jail for tax evasion. She seemed to want to be genuinely helpful.
"Okay, so how do we do this, then?"
"Well, this may seem strange to you, but we don't really know exactly how. Once you decide that that is what you want to have, then we summon the solution from the realm." She paused to let that sink in. "So, is that what you want?"
I considered things for a few seconds, and realized that the prospect of having Sarah in my life was too good an opportunity to pass up.
"Yes, let's do it."
With that, she made some interesting arm movements, whispered something too softly for me to hear, and then crossed her arms over her body, closed her eyes, and bowed her head. She remained like that for about ten seconds. Just about the time I was ready to say something, another box appeared on the countertop, and she came out of whatever trance she was in. The box had some very ornate designs and some kind of writing that I'd never be able to decipher.
"Ah, very interesting!" she said. "I haven't seen this one for a while!"
"Should I be worried?"
"No, I think this actually has a pretty good chance of giving you what you want without too much trouble... or danger."
I just stared at her and moved my hands in a "well let's have it" kind of motion. She opened the box to reveal a small vial of clear liquid. She instructed me to go get a small pin and clean it thoroughly, which I did. Then she told me to prick the end of my finger to extract a few drops of blood. She removed the cap on the vial and had me hold my finger over it until a drop fell into the vial, instantly giving it a red hue. She recapped it and held it up for me to see.
"Place this in something that you get Sarah to drink. It doesn't matter how much of it she drinks, as long as it's at least a sip or two. Keep it cold until you use it."
"And that's it? Once she drinks it she's in love with me?"
"No, silly, listen carefully. She doesn't just 'fall in love' with you. What this does is change aspects of YOU to become her perfect lover and perfect mate. Then she will be deeply in love with you because you are the perfect person for her. She will never cheat on you or anything like that because she won't WANT to. She will be totally devoted to you."
