My entry for Geek Pride 2023 is a spin on the old Flash/Superman races in DC comics. I've been a huge comic geek my whole life, and when I read the description of the event, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Thanks to
ChloeTzang
for running it!
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"A cityscape? Really, Stalwart? Are you trying to lose?" Burnout sneered at me. She sneered at everyone, but I'd like to think this particular sneer was one she had only for me.
"I've got a good feeling this time." For once, I really did. We'd been doing this for months, and the rules were simple: first person to the finish line wins; no interfering with the other person during the race; it had to be a foot race, so no flying for me; if she won-- which she had every time so far-- I had to take her shifts on monitor duty for a week.
And if I won?
Well, the stakes kept escalating over the months we'd been in "competition." At first, it was even-stevens: she'd take my monitor duty shifts for a week. Then it was for two weeks. Then a month. But more recently, Burnout had upped the ante: she'd take my shifts for a month, AND she'd strip naked at the finish line and let me do whatever I wanted to her for the rest of the night.
I try to be a good guy; there's a reason she-- and most of our other teammates-- sometimes derisively called me "boy scout." But come on! Bernie, a.k.a. Bernadette a.k.a "I'll kill you if you ever call me Bernadette again" a.k.a. Burnout, was one of the sexiest, most gorgeous women I'd ever met.
She wore skintight kev-dex, so I was already very familiar with her figure: athletic, a nice butt, perfectly-sized and very perky breasts, and muscular legs. Of course I wanted to see what was underneath the black and silver flame pattern of her uniform. Any red-blooded heterosexual male would.
Bernie kept her hair in a variety of short, spiky styles that changed colors every couple of weeks; currently, she sported a fauxhawk in an unnaturally bright shade of red. Her nearly coal-black eyes were almost mocking me-- no, I take that back. They were mocking me, because I'd never won, and in her estimation, I never would. Admittedly, there was some merit to that assessment.
Burnout is a speedster; she's been clocked doing a casual Mach 2, but I know she can get up to at least Mach 4 in an emergency. It was amazing she could run that fast with the permanent chip on her shoulder.
I mean, I understood why she was always such a jerk. In terms of power levels, she should be on an A-list team in New York or Los Angeles, fighting guys like The Armageddonist and Traag, Terror from Dimension Zeta.
But because her dad was a criminal, and because he forced her into the trade, and because she had a felony after she was eighteen on her rap sheet-- even if it had been commuted for her help in the Transdimensional Crosstime Crisis-- none of the big teams like The Honorbound or Aegis Legion would touch her with a ten foot pole. And so, she was stuck working with a group of mostly B-listers in a market that didn't even have a professional football team. I'd be pissed, too.
And me? Well, I'm what's called a "jack," as in "jack of all trades." I'm strong and tough, but not as strong or tough as someone like WhamBam. I can fly, but nowhere near as well as a dedicated aerialist like Black Kite. And I've got superspeed, but nowhere near as fast as Burnout. My top speed is around her cruising speed.
Theoretically, I'm supposed to be a generalist, able to help out wherever I'm needed. But realistically, my role on the team was as a sort of interceptor; I can move fast enough to get in front of enemies and, occasionally, incoming attacks that might blindside my squishier teammates. There's a reason I wear a blue and white outfit with pirate boots, a cape, and a big gold S on my chest: it makes me a more effective target. It doesn't hurt that I'm over six feet tall and built like a running back, either. Even out of costume, I get noticed.
In the roster of jacks, I'm a low A-tier or a high B-tier, depending on the rating scale being used. What keeps me out of one of the more prestigious teams is sometimes called my "moral inflexibility." Specifically, that I strenuously objected when a major government agency tried to cover up a transdimensional crosstime crisis for "the good of the people" after they dropped the ball. And that cover-up just coincidentally happened during an election year. And footage from my body camera happened to make its way to the major networks.
Back to my original point: no, I'd never beaten Burnout in a race. When it came to raw speed, Bernie was in her element, and in that element she was near the top of the charts.
But to make things a little fairer, and therefore to get me to keep making the bet each week, she'd started letting me pick the course. She could veto a choice, but so far she hadn't, and I'd played relatively fair myself by not trying to pick one that would be impossible for her to finish.
Creating the course was the easy part; we had access to the realsim room that our team, Sentinel Squadron, used for training. The room had a combination of holographic and force field projectors that could create whatever environment we needed. We'd each be in a separate force bubble-- unless we were close enough to touch-- that would change shape to match our environment, with a projection of where the course and our opponent "should" be. Think of it like a really immersive VR with solid objects instead of just images.
I'd tried to beat Bernie in straightaways, zigzag courses, rough terrain, simulated combat zones, and about a dozen other scenarios. I'd never even gotten close to winning. She'd stopped looking too closely at the specifics, both because she kept winning easily and because I was too much of a boy scout to cheat, right? And that was true; I wouldn't cheat. Technically. I would obey all of the rules of the competition, such as they were.
But I was still going to win this time.
Burnout snorted and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Max. Let's just get this done. I've still got half a season of 'So You Think You Can Fly' to watch." She used to get into the traditional racer's stance before we started. Now she'd stopped even giving me that small measure of respect, instead leaning against a building near the starting line.
I stretched; no point in pulling a hamstring, after all, not when I was this close to victory. "Computer, countdown race timer from 3." I grinned at her. "Ready, Bernadette?" Her nostrils flared, and she opened her mouth to say something just as the starting gun fired.
I got the early lead. "Early" being the operative word: it lasted about half a second before she streaked past me, obviously pissed. Well, probably pissed; at that speed, it's hard to tell. But it was Burnout, so there was a pretty good chance she'd be pissed anyways. And, as she rounded the first turn, right arm raised with middle finger extended, I saw that I had guessed right.
So imagine how angry she was when she turned the last corner seconds later and found me standing at the finish line, arms crossed and with a friendly smile on my face.
Burnout skidded to a stop in front of me, snarling, "You cheated!"
With a little chuckle, I said, "Bernie, when have you ever, ever known me to cheat at anything? I won fair and square." I couldn't resist holding up three fingers together. "Scout's honor."
"Bullshit!"
I pointed at a shattered window and beckoned for her to follow me. As she looked through it, she simply yelled, "Fuck!" Inside, there was a Stalwart-sized hole in the drywall, then a hole in the drywall behind it, then another three behind that, and then a broken window leading to the street. That basic pattern followed all the way back to the starting line, although we couldn't see it through the debris.
"While you were zigzagging around buildings, I just went through."
Bernie rounded on me, furious. "Yeah, I can see that! That's cheating!"
This was far more enjoyable than I thought it would be. "No, it's not." I started ticking off points on my fingers. "I was the first person to the finish line. I didn't interfere with you. I didn't fly."
My calm statement of facts, the way I addressed her accusations of cheating without rancor, and most of all, the lack of gloating on my part seemed to make her even angrier, even as she tried to hide it. Did I enjoy that? Oh yes, although I wasn't going to show her. Even morally inflexible boy scouts are allowed to be petty from time to time.
She glowered at me for a moment, then quietly deflated. "Fine, Max. You win." Bernie's hand went to the snaps at her neck, undoing them one by one. Then, she fished out the concealed tab of a zipper and began to tug at it, the teeth slowly separating to reveal the pale skin underneath. My gorgeous teammate was blushing with embarrassment, and the red flush went down her neck and tantalizingly out of view beneath her jacket.
I let her stew until the zipper was almost open to her navel, then said, "Alright, Bern. You can stop."
"What?"
"Bernie, I'm not going to make you go through with this." Her expression was suddenly perplexed. "I mean, you're absolutely still taking monitor duty for the next month, but you don't have to strip for me."
"W- Why?"
"Because..." I sighed and shook my head. "I mean, I wouldn't do that to anyone. But definitely not you."