What do you mean invasion?
Thanks to my editor kenjisato. Also, to LanguageTool. Combined, they put me right. Any problems left all belong to me.
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We should have paid heed to the warning about traveling to that capital city in South America. But the studio thought it would be okay if we kept to the most civilized spots, like the major hotels. We didn't know that the hotel we were staying at had a drug kingpin as a silent partner.
My global tour took me south of the equator to promote "Space Pussy II: Tourist." My own ability with language meant that I was in great demand to speak to fans in the country. This was the fourth city on our tour. As the film had done some scenes in country, there was a lot of official support. In fact, there was a reception planned for the second evening.
As usual for these things, I dressed up as Captain Kitty Galore in a skimpy outfit. I got there early to meet up with the local rep and some officials. "Hello, Miguel. Whom do I have the honor of meeting today?"
"First is el Presidente José Sanchez. Sir, this is Helen Asher, also known as Captain Kitty Galore."
"Captain, your naughty visit here was most fun. It has also helped our tourism. Please, be welcome here. If there is anything I can do to help your film, don't hesitate to contact my people."
"Thank you sir. Why do I get the feeling you are a fan?"
"Because you are a good observer. But I must admit, it was my son who convinced me to give your studio the permit to film here."
"Then please give our thanks to your son. If he would like to get an autograph, I'd be happy to give him one. You also."
"Next is Consejero Pablo Morales, head of the DEDC's Film Industry Development Program."
"Ms. Asher, I also thank you for your studio's decision to film in our country. Having a number of our people observe your studio's filming has helped us improve our ability to attract more films. I also thank you for your part in helping them settle in and your patience answering their many questions."
"I remember my first days in the industry, and how much I had to learn. Helping your people helps us, as well."
"This is Alcalde Carlos Delgado, who has been so kind in offering his city's best for this event."
"Captain, you are our guest. If anyone gives you trouble, just see me."
"Thank you. I've already seen some of your parks, and the view from my room shows a beautiful city. Your people have shown us plenty of courtesy already. I expect they will continue."
At this point, we went to another group and began to mingle. A few minutes later, as Miguel and I were getting drinks, I asked, "So, did you see all those bodyguards with the president?"
"Huh? I suppose he has a few given the current tensions. But I am sure nothing will happen."
"Maybe. But with the warning the tour got about the area comes to mind. I'm going to skip alcohol tonight, just in case. You might want to stay sober, also."
"But señora, this is a party. We are here to strengthen relations with the officials, and they will expect us to party."
"Don't worry. I can cut loose without the booze." He looked skeptical, so I used my whammy to make him believe. Over the next two hours, the party went well. I had a few dances, and got groped a few times. Three times I 'went' for the 'catnip' ploy. Having expected this, I made sure to stay near places we could duck into or behind so as to not cause too much of a commotion.
In fact, I was sampling some 'catnip' when the commotion started. We were about to round the corner into the main room when the gunfire erupted. I grabbed the guest and pulled him back. Whispering, I said, "Quiet. It's too dangerous to go out there, and if we do, we'll attract bad attention."
He whispered back, "What's going on?"
After shushing him, I got my phone out to call the local police. No dice. I had no signal here. Since reception was a problem here anyway, I had no reason to think I would be able to get through from here. I would need to try on an upper floor, but there was no way to get there now. So instead, I switched on the camera and raised it as high as I could before edging it past the corner. I made a quick sweep of the room before I pulled it back. Playback quickly showed all the exits were occupied by military types. There was no sign of the president, and several of the bodyguards were down while four were firing back.
Again, whispering, "It looks bad. No way out, some bodyguards are down and no sign of the president. Whoever they are, they brought a lot of firepower."
"Can I see?" I showed him. "Shit. El cártel narcotraficante. I don't know what they're calling themselves these days, but they work with MedellÃn. Major bad news." Still whispering, he drifted off, mumbling about 'us being so dead'.
I grabbed him, and when he turned to me, I looked him in the eyes. "We're not dead yet. Don't give up so quickly. I've survived some tight spots before, so don't lose hope. Now sleep." I hit him hard with my whammy, and he went out like a light. I then arranged him to look like he had fallen asleep after coming. I took my clothes off and placed them with him. I then moved some things around to 'hide' me, and I 'cowered' waiting for them to discover us. I was about to play the part of a porno actress who was afraid of them.
When the commotion settled down, it didn't take long for the drug cartel to sweep the area and find me. "Oh, look what we have here?"
"Don't kill me. Don't kill me. Don't kill me." I continued to babble and repeat this quietly.
"Shuddup. Boss'll want to see you." He grabbed my arm and pulled me up. That got a reaction. His eyes widened. "What? Four? Oh man, we're gonna have fun with you." He pushed me out into the room, calling, "Hey boss, we got lucky!"
"Don't kill me."
"Huh? Who is that?"
"It's the space cat, from the film. You know, the one who has all that sex. And look, she wants some now!"
"Oh! Bring her here." As he brought me to the boss, I kept darting my eyes here and there, apparently looking at the exits. "Don't you worry, kitty-kat. I'm not letting you go anywhere. I like your tail and ears." He then ordered his subordinate, "She stays naked, but she keeps the tail and ears. She'll be a proper kitty-kat."
"Urk. But. But..." What he missed as I was brought out, was that I was assessing the situation. All the bodyguards were dead. Each shot in the head to make sure. President Sanchez was seriously injured; Consejero Morales and Mayor Delgado, less so. They were being patched up, along with some of the invaders. As he looked at me lustfully, I looked him in the eye and hit him with a whammy. I tried to convey the belief that I was a nympho, and harmless, and that my fight scenes were all fake.
I watched as they stripped the obvious valuables before collecting the two politicians and me. I'm glad I took most of mine off and hid them in my purse, which I also hid in the 'pile' I made to hide. Then they took us outside and stuffed us in a transport. With at least a dozen troops in with us, I didn't think we could escape at this time. So I played up my helplessness, and used that super whammy to whisper in the minds of several to take advantage of my nakedness. And into the squad leader's mind, I whispered for him to let his men have fun.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed a lower breast. "Hey, it feels real. What do you think?"
The other lower breast was grabbed. I just whimpered, in apparent fear. "I like this one. Hey lieutenant, let's make room for some fun. The ride'll be awhile, and a little entertainment would be nice."
He appeared to think it over. "Okay. You two stretch her out and hold her. I'll go first to be sure she's not hiding anything."