Two Kh'olli dogs, Rolf and Fluffles, sat with their ears perked in attention and their eyes focused intently on Captain Angua. They were in a small chapel off to one side in the temple of Blind Io, chief of the Gods of the Disc. Angua had taken them there for a discussion and since the discussion would be in 'dog', which Angua as a werewolf spoke fluently, having any observers around might divulge just who the Watch's rumored werewolf officer really was. Most of the city had somehow come to the comical conclusion that it was Corporal Nobbs. Why that may be is a mystery but it has been useful, as far as the rest of the Watch is concerned.
"Now look, you two," the captain barked quietly, "this is an important assignment. The whole idea is to pair up your pack's humans so that both of you can sleep at the foot of their bed."
Two tails wagged cheerfully. It sounded like a capital idea to them.
"Now what everyone wants the pair of you to do, when Lethality's father hands her over to Sam at the altar, is herd his Cloudsplitter carpet from the back of the temple up next to them. The wedding ring will be sitting on a pillow in the center of it so that he can pick it up and put it on her finger. Then the High Priest will pronounce them husband and wife, there will be a big luncheon (more enthusiastic wagging because large meals are popular beyond the confines of Unseen University) and the four of you will all head for a tropical beach where you can chase seagulls and play in the surf. All clear?"
Both dogs yipped affirmatively and wagged their tails even more. Herding Syrrit sheep and the carpets made from their wool was what Kh'olli dogs
did
. This would be easy. All that remained was for both dogs to put on appropriately formal collars for the ceremony. Sam would be in the University's academic robes and Lethality in a flowing gown in navy blue and purple as befitted a graduate Assassin and
someone
in the party needed to wear black and white
1
. Angua patted both furry heads and scratched them behind the ears. Then the three casually walked out into the nave to join the wedding rehearsal.
[
1
That both animals had grown their own natural black and white coats seemed to have bypassed the humans' attention.]
Lady Sybil smiled surreptitiously at the captain.
"All ready, are they?" she asked in a whisper.
Angua nodded in affirmation and winked. Both dogs looked immensely proud of themselves. The whole concept of getting to share the foot of the younger Vimes' bed was in the bag. Life was going to be good--from the canine point of view.
Weddings are traditionally the prevue of the bride's family. Since the groom's father, Commander Vimes, had little good to say about gods in general, even Blind Io, this enabled a smoother course of action with Hughnon Ridcully. As High Priest he would naturally officiate over the most high status wedding the city had seen since the Commander of the Watch had married the richest woman in Ankh-Morpork a couple of decades before. Fortunately, the Wiggs family are nominal parishioners so there is absolutely no friction. Vimes, having been gently admonished by his Lady to just keep his mouth shut about the whole procedure, stewed quietly through the rehearsal
2
. Given the City's proclivity for mayhem there was a good possibility that he would be called away to run down some miscreant and wouldn't have to sit through the official ceremony, anyhow. He wasn't exactly hoping for any crimes but wouldn't be heartbroken if one called him away. It had happened often enough before. It was just that now that he was in his seventies, chasing criminals wasn't as easy as it had been in years past.
[
2
Part of the stewing was about having to wear his dress uniform. He hated it, but Sybil insisted.]
*****
In Lancre City, by royal decree, the entire town was bedecked in bunting, banners and bouquets. Penny Ogg was amazed. Several years earlier she'd been politely but firmly banished to Unseen University because of an unfortunate inability to control fireballs. Not only did they cause worrisomely deep holes that the townsfolk sometimes fell into but in her early teens, the girl had (possibly from frustration at her lack of control) been surly, quick-tempered and given to occasionally aiming them
at
people. She didn't hit anyone on purpose until she arrived in Ankh-Morpork and knocked on the gates of UU. Pushing them open she'd been confronted by the most unpopular student enrolled at the time. He (Peleanor Galway) had verbally abused her for being a girl trying to enter and then tried to physically shove her back onto the street. The result had been a smoking crater that the University gardener, Modo, had had to patch. She didn't even leave any smoking, pointy-toes shoes.
Fortunately the Archchancellor had read the letter from Queen Magrat she carried, admitted her to student status and directed several other students to deliberately befriend her and keep her happy. It worked. She made friends among the student body and the city's Differently Alive, especially the bogey who lived under her bed. She'd not only been awarded a M. Thau at the unheard of age of fifteen
3
but had then written a book that became a best seller, become faculty and gotten engaged to the Vice Chancellor's second cousin. Penny had risen to become her hometown's pride and joy. And now she was back with her fiancΓ© in tow to get married in Lancre Castle at the royal family's invitation. Her father, Pewsey, told her that the official holiday was going to last a week. Of course, her great grandmother, Nanny Ogg, told her that she wouldn't likely see much of it as, with her groom properly fortified with Hilta Goatfounder's famed Buckaroo Drops, Penny was probably not going to see much beyond the ceiling of the Bridal Suite in the Palace Hotel--at least for a couple of days. It was all very heady and, this being Lancre City, the reception could be expected to be rather ribald, at least once Pastor Oats declared them officially married..
[
3