Chapter 4
WHO ARE YOU?
I smelled the delicious food before we pulled into the gas station. The taco truck stood brightly in the corner.
Jonny parked close to it. "Let's eat." He glanced at my lap with his lip trapped between his teeth and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, pull his lip between my teeth and bite gently.
I rolled my eyes at myself but pictured his mouth and tongue in places and gnawed on my own lip. Jonny was awakening things in me that I had been suppressing. Being in the hospital surrounded by 24/7 care, left little alone time. I had no way to know how long it had been since I had last had sex. It was easy to blame my arousal on my lack of orgasms and not Jonny himself but I would have been lying to myself.
He came around the truck and opened the passenger door as I put on my sweater. He watched as I got out of the truck, a sober, distant expression on his face. He shut the door behind me and put his hands in his jacket pockets. There was a casual confidence about him. He knew exactly who he was and wasn't apologetic about it.
We walked next to each other, bumping together gently as we wandered toward the blue food truck.
The pink and orange clouds swirled together in the sky, creating an unworldly effect as the sun sank lower. The colors were more vibrant here than in the city where the hospital was. The stars would be bright out here with little light interference.
The parking lot was empty and the small gas station was the only store I could see in all directions. We were several hours up the mountain and had to be close to the Lodge by now.
We stopped and looked at the menu. Of course, the photos on the side made everything look delicious.
Jonny stepped up to the little counter and said to the man in the screened window, "Hola Primo! Medas un burrito de cabeza supreme con todo," he turned to me, "What do you think about a beef torta?" He pointed to a picture on the side of the truck.
"Looks good to me." I nodded and smiled at him.
He spoke to the man but his eyes stayed on me. "Y, un torta de asada. Gracias." He stepped closer, his hands back in his pockets. "It'll be a minute." He nodded toward the convenience store. "Let's get some drinks and if you need to use the restroom?" He put his hand on my lower back and looked around as he guided me into the small convenience store.
I heard the lights buzzing above me. They cast a bluish hue over everything. The store was empty except for the cashier. An elderly lady watching a small black and white TV. The news was on and a heavy dread filled my stomach. I focused on my breathing. In through the nose.
Jonny walked toward the coffee machines.
I walked to the back where the fridges were and grabbed myself something with bubbles. Out through the mouth.
A woman, and her news anchor voice, clearly and loudly spoke throughout the store. "A federal grand jury in Southern California returned an indictment yesterday charging fifty alleged gang members with crimes including racketeering conspiracy, murder, attempted murder, and conspiracy to murder in aid of racketeering, related firearms charges, and obstruction of justice."
A man and his news anchor voice continued, "The charges, in this case, reflect the Justice Department's commitment to dismantling and disrupting this criminal organization that brings violence, terror, and fear in communities across the country."
In through the mouth. Maybe I had been the victim of gang violence? I headed down the sugar aisle. Out through the nose. My hand shot out when I saw a chocolate candy bar with a toffee filling. Oh really? I looked at the candy bar, waiting to see if a memory would surface. Did I like this?
"Is that all?" Jonny strolled toward me in the aisle, holding a small to-go coffee.
I nodded.
He stepped closer to me. His eyes were a golden brown color like when the sun shines through a glass jar of honey.
I closed mine when I felt his warm breath on my lips. His smell overwhelmed me as I inhaled a slow shaky breath. I felt the coldness of the air between us as he pulled away quickly. I opened my eyes just in time to see him catch the candy bar he had tossed in the air.
"Let's go, Mama." He turned and offered me his elbow.
I hesitated, feeling like a fool. The first man I've encountered in the wild and I'm already falling for his nonsense. A simple look from him, the way he bites his lip and I'm ready to make out with him in the middle of the candy aisle. He was laying the charm on thick and it was obvious. Get yourself together. My inner monologue sobered me and I tentatively grabbed his arm.
Hold yourself together...Jane. I concentrated on my breathing as we walked to the cashier. You can barely remember your first name, you don't need a man to fuck things up even more.
The lights in the small store flickered and dimmed as the woman rang up our items, slowly. Her TV was awfully loud and the sound seemed to bounce off the walls.
The male news anchor, "We have an update for you on the "Miss Nobody" case."
My heart felt like it would beat its way out of my chest. I tried to act and breathe like a normal human.
"A bizarre but apparently not unheard of case of amnesia and no one to claim her." The news anchor straightened the papers he was holding by tapping them on the desk.
"That's right Tom." The woman continued, "The woman's body was found several months ago, she was naked and badly injured. Her Doctors say it was a miracle she survived."
A horrible picture of me was shown on the newscast. I was unrecognizable because of the swelling and bruises, my hair was covered. I had never seen that picture before but I knew it existed. It was taken right after I had been admitted to the hospital. I was unconscious but Dr. Ortega had told me, and wouldn't let me see many of the photos in my medical folder. How had the news gotten a hold of it?
The TV screen was so small, there was no way anyone would even notice.
I hoped.
The woman on the news continued, "After a several-week coma, she woke up with no recollection of who she is, where she came from, and to top it all off, no one has recognized her."
"Unbelievable." The male anchor shook his head. "It's like she dropped from the sky."
"That's right Tom."
The credit card machine must've been on dial-up, this was taking forever.
"Like an Angel," the old woman across the counter whispered to herself.
"We will bring you the update at the top of the hour. But first a commercial break." The man on the news finished.
I grabbed my items off the counter quickly. "Thank you," I said to the cashier and headed outside to the fresh air. I inhaled deeply. I enjoyed the coolness of the wind wrapping around me. It whipped at my hair and cheeks, making me flush. I concentrated on the feeling instead of the news. I half wish I was small enough that the wind could carry me away but at some point, the wind would stop. I enjoyed the sensation of floating anyway.
Jonny caught up to me in the still-empty parking lot and opened the passenger door of his truck. He waited until I got in. He leaned closer to me, he was going to say something. His jaw tightened and relaxed.
Our eyes met briefly.
I watched as his eyes roamed over my face. Did he know? I wanted a fresh start without being the weirdo on the news.
