Lost Light

Chapter 2: Judgment

This is a work of FICTION, made by and for adults 18+. The following chapter includes depictions of severe trauma (dissociation), androphobia, and accidental misgendering of a transgender man and a transgender woman. Reader discretion is advised.

"It's okay!" The deep, angelic voice didn't ease Aileene's panic when her breath returned, nor did the strong hands that carefully held her cool shoulders. "

Aileene

,

it's okay

." She fought to break free, shouting further as the man with long brown and gray hair came into focus. His silver right eye, pale aura, and charred clothes unsettled her further, but the golden glowing circlet above his head and expansive swan wings finally forced her away from the loose grasp in terror. "You're saf—"

"

S-

STAY

," she held out her trembling hand before tripping; crackling and burning filled her senses as she cowered away. "S-s-stay—"

"I'm

not

," the towering figure knelt while holding out a steady palm, "going to hurt you, child. You're

safe

now."

"S-s-s," Aileene broke her stare enough to find pure white behind him, "

safe

?" When he didn't move, she realized she lay upon a field of clouds. Her brown dress was replaced by a snowy robe—like the black one the stranger wore, apart from the gold sash around his waist. She pulled the skirt up; the skin on her calf was smooth, unburned, and hairless.

'Wait—'

Upon twisting, Aileene realized that her hair no longer reached her back. "

No

," she reached around, but it wasn't even to her shoulders.

'No, no,'

upon feeling her head, Aileene found her short curls. The once fiery locks were now deep auburn and no longer passed her ears. Aileene could hardly contain her tears.

"I'm sorry." With his consolation, she wailed. Clutching what remained of her mane, Aileene's cries worsened as she recalled the men burning her away. She held herself, but the soft skin only reminded her of the heat. Scarcely calmed as he spoke, "Aileene," she met his sorrowful expression. "I'm sorry, but you can't stay here."

"Wha..." She looked around and found a long set of steps with golden gates guarding the top. "What do you mean?"

"This is a place for those who died free of sin." He reached for the iron chain around his neck and touched the link that glowed dark red—the rest glimmered with other colors Aileene could only imagine before. "Because of the life you took, you can't stay here until you've been absolved of your sin."

"Bu-but I— I was

protecting

myself!"

"That's why I was able to reduce how long you'd have to wait. You would have to have waited a thousand years, or summers—"

"

A

," Aileene trembled, "

A

THOUSAND SUMMERS??!

"

"

But

, because you were protecting yourself, normally I would have been able to reduce that to fifty—"

"

Fifty

—"

"

But

, because of the nature of— the way you came here, I was able to bring your sentence down to five years."

Aileene looked down. "So... what does that mean?"

"I have to take you somewhere else for now. Once your five years have ended, you can return here and spend eternity with your family."

"

Wait!

" She looked at the gates, "M-my family— is

here

... and I-I can't see them?!"

"Those are the rules we have to follow."

Her tears renewed as Aileene crawled closer. "Let me see them...

Please

..."

"I'm sorry, but—"

She hobbled up and ran, "I have to see them!!" The gateway vanished in the clouds as she neared. "LET ME

SEE HER

!!"

With a gust, he held her back. "I'm sorry! You can't." Aileene couldn't see the gold pillars anymore as she fell to her knees weeping. "It's not up to me." Her sobs didn't ease as she fought the hug, but then Aileene held him. "I promise you'll be treated fairly until you can return."

'Fair..? I can't even see my mother...'

Aileene wept until her throat burned, but even that didn't slow the tears. When she finally grew tired, though, the stranger let go. Kneeling before her, he consoled, "I'm sorry. I wish it were another way." After offering a hand, Aileene reluctantly took it and stood. "My name is Samael; my friends call me Sammy. I'm going to make sure you're taken care of until you can come back, okay?" With her hesitant nod, Sammy held his ear. "It's going to feel disorienting when time resumes, so you may want to hold on." Before she could question, his wings wrapped around her and Aileene felt so dizzy she dropped into his arm.

As she held her head, Sammy asked, "Lucy?" Aileene peeked to see who he was talking to, but a thick blue haze was all she saw. "Who's in the castle today?" She blinked to an enormous room with bright blue walls and black chairs of various sizes. Scattered around were strange people in white robes and alien figures in robes like Sammy's. "Have Asmodeus and Gemon meet me on Floor Forty Two, I need readers for a special cas—!" His grasp tightened; Aileene looked up in alarm to see Sammy enraged before he relaxed. Still holding his ear, he finished, "A problem; hopefully one I can manage. I'll keep you updated if I need anything." He lowered his hand and motioned forward. "I'm sorry about that. Please, make yourself comfortable."

Aileene only took a step before a gold glow startled her; as it faded, a grand pair of black wings withdrew to reveal a golden woman holding a short, pale girl—both dressed like Sammy. The woman's long, straight hair and eyes were slightly darker than her skin, while a single spot under her left eye was the only mark on her flawless face. The girl's shaggy mane seemed to stand on end as she shook; only then did Aileene notice her pointed ears and fluffy tail as it wagged. The woman looked at them and her deep voice sang, "Sammy!"

"Dee. It's good to see you again."

"And you as well. Who is this?" The girl turned to peer at her with glowing golden eyes.

"This is Aileene; Aileene, this is Asmodeus. Aileene needs to go somewhere she'll be treated well."

"I'm sure we can manage that. What do you think, Berry?"

The girl approached and carefully sniffed her. Embarrassed, Aileene backed into Sammy. With a sweet voice, Berry remarked, "Don't worry, Aileene. You're safe here." She reached out and Aileene hesitantly took her hand. "Come with me, you must be tired."

The tender hold was disarming as she was led to a wide chair. Cautiously sitting after Berry, Aileene sighed,

'It's so soft...'

Her lids drooped.

'I guess I

was

tired.'

A pink glow pulled her from the trance; from a smaller set of black wings, a tall woman with skin like red clay emerged. Her violet hair waved to her shoulders while the pink in her eyes glimmered like gemstones.

In awe at the strange beauty, Aileene jumped when—in an effeminate voice—he cheerfully called, "

DEE!

"

"

Gem!

It's

so

good to see you again!" After a warm embrace, Asmodeus turned to her. "Gemon, this is Aileene. We're making sure she goes to the right home."

Stepping to her, Gemon gleefully cheered, "

Oh

, I'm

sure

we can find the right place for her." His shimmering gaze felt piercing as he leaned in, "

Oh

,

yes

,

we'll

be able to find a safe place for our sweet Aileene."

As he stepped towards Sammy, Asmodeus sat next to her. "Are you comfortable, dear?"

"Uh... y-yes."

"I know it's a lot to take in, but I hope you can relax, darling. We want to make this as easy as possible, especially after what you've been through."

Berry slid closer and opened her palm. "It'll be okay, Aileene."

Taking her warm hand, Aileene couldn't help but feel reassured as they held another. She glanced around; some of the figures had reddish skin like Gemon, but there was a comforting peculiarity to all of them despite their exotic differences.

'There's something about this place... It feels more like the Otherworld mother and Móra told me about."

A strange beep alerted Aileene to wide doors when they slid open. Several people emerged, including another Samael with a pale aura; she shot back and saw Sammy speaking with Gemon. When they turned, Aileene realized the other Samael was guiding a boy. His skin was also reddened, his short hair was gold, and he was glaring at her. Though his left eye seemed red for a moment, the golden tint as it faded was disarming. '

I guess— he's not too scary.

'

He shrank before whispering to Samael.

"

Well

," Gemon quietly said, "

yes

,

she's

safe

." He glanced at Asmodeus. When she nodded, Gemon added, "Just make sure

they

are safe."

"I'll take care of that," Sammy reassured. He vanished in a silver mist as Samael and the boy approached. "Aileene, this is Mera. Unless you're uncomfortable, I think you'll be a good fit." She glanced between Asmodeus and Berry's smiles before following them to the wall. Sammy pressed a button and revealed a wide platform; she hesitantly stepped in after them.

The doors closed; when the floor lurched, Aileene faltered but Mera caught her. "It's okay," his soft voice whispered. "I've got you." She blushed as the warmth in his soft skin spread. Hesitant to let go, she came closer as the fall continued; then they stopped abruptly. Aileene glanced around before Mera hushed, "It's okay!" His embrace was comforting as the doors opened and a crowd of loud figures packed a wide hallway. With Sammy's wave they cleared a path, but Aileene still clutched Mera's hand for comfort as they stepped through.

Finally, as sunlight shone through the doors before them, Aileene turned to Samael—without a pale aura—sitting behind a desk. "Good," a deep, coarse voice announced, "you're finished." She saw a tall man—golden like Asmodeus—with defined features, short hair, and a black sash around his waist. "Now, let's—!"

The seated Samael stood to hold him away. "You have had

quite

enough involvement in her life.

I

will see to them." The man grimaced but stepped away.

Samael sat while the pale Sammy ushered them towards the exit. "Let's find you somewhere safe," he promised Aileene as white wings encased them and the world spun.

—Spoiler—

"

Please

, my kitten, think little of that place. I promise, you will

never

see the inside of those halls."

I never thought I'd use gold(en) so much in one chapter, but hopefully that's the end of that. Chapter 3: Safety will be more relaxed, but Aileene and Mera still have a lot to understand about each other as the terms of their contract become known.

—End Spoiler—