7 OUT OF THE FIRE
Greg immediately felt a bit overstimulated.
For a moment all his brain could remember was the instant of his death, back when he'd been impaled on a spear. Now some kind of shaman was screaming at him through a cloud of greenish smoke. Gathered around the shaman was a group of tribals, their skin pallid and grey.
"What more, my lord?" gasped the shaman. Greg could not make any sense of this question.
He tried to get up, and realized that his body wasn't behaving like he'd expected. That prompted him to look down. His skin was green and scaly, and his hands were enormous talons, with poison dripping from the fingertips.
He tried to get up again, and reflexively flapped his wings, which was when he realized that he had wings. They felt big.
"Hello, everyone," he said.
The shaman cowered.
"My lord," he gasped, "what else could you possibly demand of us?"
Greg had no idea. He decided that his best bet was probably to escape from the situation altogether, which was a lot easier now that he had bat wings. He flapped them twice, ascended into the air, and swooped away.
"Wheeew!" he gasped. He should probably have been more exhilirated at his newfound ability to fly, but his mind was in a bit of a tumult. Everything that had occurred in the Blighted Palace was returning to him. For one thing, he had to get back to Ithuria, because she was the only one who could find Corvel the Burnt for him and thus fulfill his quest. Also, he felt a bit of an obiligation to rescue Dalile. And also, he was now some kind of poison-lizard-bat-god, apparently revered by sickly tribals. That last one he hadn't expected at all.
He was beginning to think that necromancy was a fairly imprecise science.
He circled over the Blighted Forest a bit, admiring the way it spread out in every direction, consuming the horizon. At last he decided he'd better settle down. He swept back to earth, under the shade of the trees, and settled on a rock to think.
"Hmmm," he said.
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm," he said.
An idea occurred to him. "Kitra?" he said doubtfully.
He waited, remembering how long this had taken last time.
He waited some more.
The obsidian sword blasted up from underground, did a loop in the air, and landed in his hand.
"Wow," Greg said.
He stooped over the sword-shaped hole in the ground and squinted. There was nothing to see except dirt, and in the utmost distance, total blackness.
"I guess that's where Hell is," he said. "I'm gonna need a lot of shovels."
"Wait a moment," he said. "I wonder if -"
*
"Shouldn't we get naked?" said Greg hopefully.
Sofia shot him a dirty look.
"This is scientific, not Satanic, Greg," she said.
"Whatever."
Six hours before that little exchange, Greg had come to Sofia's apartment, half-drunk and incredibly horny. In a perfect state for some friendly manipulation, Sofia had thought. And in fact he had been very useful. And the ritual had gone perfectly.
It was the aftermath of the ritual that Sofia hadn't expected. For one thing, she'd thought Hell would be a more interesting place than the dim grey cellar she'd ended up in; for another, she'd kind of counted on the Book of Khazaghul, First Sorcerer of the Ark of Infernal Shadows, coming with her. It had not. She'd arrived in Hell empty handed and on fire.
Luckily there'd been a big pool of dirty water in the cellar, which she had hastily rolled in, saving herself from burns and getting extremely muddy and wet in the process. She'd tried reciting the Ritual of Return from memory, but it hadn't worked. At that point she'd been pretty much out of ideas.
Shortly thereafter, a group of tall men with writhing balls of maggots where their faces should have been arrived in the cellar and grabbed her.
Not so much later, she'd been standing in a marble courtyard, wearing some jewels, a piece of pink silk around her hips, and nothing else. Her arms were tied behind her. Her mouth was stuffed with ballgag. There was a champagne tray strapped to her hips.
It wasn't at all what she'd expected from reading the Book of Khazaghul, First Sorcerer of the Ark of Infernal Shadows.
For a long time she'd wandered around that courtyard, offering champagne to demons and getting slapped on the rump as a reward. And then Greg had come into the courtyard, and then he'd been gone, and she had no idea what was going on.