Bimbofying the Bitchy Fighter
Mark Johnson
It was late and dark as I walked home from my shitty job flipping burgers at this local joint called Frugals. Great burgers, but it sucked working there. Though getting to take home a free meal for dinner was a perk.
I stood at the light, waiting for it to change, as I watched TikTok videos on my phone. A girl was gyrating to music in a thong, her plump, ebony butt-cheeks clapping as she twerked. She was supposed to be a nurse at work.
God help the medical profession.
She did have a great ass.
After I ate my dinner, I would jerk one off to her.
The video auto-played into the strangest thing. It was a guy filming two women he claimed were his mom and sister. He was talking about how he turned them into his sluts with the Bimbo App. They both dropped to their knees like they were going to suck him off. The girls were hot. A MILF and her daughter. They looked too close in appearance not to be related.
"Damn," I muttered as the light turned green. There was a link for the app.
I hit the link and found the Bimbo App page. It wasn't in the iTunes store. This was an app that Apple wouldn't want me to have. Supposely it could damage my phone, but what was on there I couldn't recover from backup. So I hit download and stepped out into the crosswalk.
If this app worked--which there was no way it could--that would be hot. Even if it didn't, maybe it was just some game with sexy bimbos I could fantasize about--
A screech of tires. A honk of horn. Headlights flashed.
I looked up to see a car hurtling at me. I gaped at it in disbelief. The bastard ran the red light and hurtled right at me. That was the last thought that flashed through my mind before a powerful darkness crashed into me.
~ * ~
The darkness was all-encompassing.
It spread out to all the horizons. It encompassed the entire world. I floated there, not sure what to do. What it meant. I heard the car coming. I saw those headlights. Did that mean I was hit? Was I unconscious right now, my hamburger burst across my fat body?
Or was I in the hospital where some nurse was making TikTok videos instead of paying attention to my vitals? I could be dying because she was making her butt-cheeks clap in the thong she wore. Just gyrating like a slut.
I had been downloading the Bimbo App. God, what if my mom found out? Shit, what if she went into my apartment and saw all the naked anime girl figures I had. My collection of castoff figures was small but growing. I could afford one every month or so if I was careful with my savings.
And my porn collection.
My hard drive was a cesspit.
Who would delete it all?
No, no, I wasn't dead. This was just... what being unconscious was. That was it. I would wake up in the hospital safe and sound. Maybe with a bump on the head. I had padding. Being a little husky would help in getting hit, right?
The sound of a waterfall drew my attention. I turned to find... a shadowy figure standing by a curtain of water. Mist spilled from it and billowed around the figure. In the vapor, I could see images of a body covered up on the street, police around it.
Wait, I knew that street.
"That's not me, right?" I asked, floating toward the shadowy figure.
"Sorry," the figure said. "My apologies for causing your death. I didn't mean for my App to lead you to get hit by a car."
"I'm dead?" I gasped.
"You are dead, Mark Johnson."
"Shit." My mom was going to find my porn collection. "Shit, shit, shit."
"I am truly sorry." The figure clasped its hands together, fingers long and thin.
"Great." I stared at the being. "So, uh, are you God or something."
"Not how you would think of God. I am a being with a singular ability to see all the infinite universes of creation and... interact with them." The figure glanced at the mist. "This is but one world, the Bimbo App World, as I like to think about it. A world of many possibilities for entertainment. You were supposed to be a part of that entertainment. Yes, yes, I would have loved to see what you would have done with the Bimbo App, and then..."
"Some asshole ran the red light and killed me," I muttered. "Well, sorry you don't get to enjoy your jollies watching me with that App."
"Oh, but I shall," said the figure. "I will reincarnate you in another world with the Bimbo App. A fantasy world."
"What, really?" Hope surged in me. "I'm going to be the hero in a fantasy Isekai harem story?"
"Something like that."
I grinned from ear to ear. Let my mom find my porn. I was off to a world full of sexy anime girls. "Okay." I glanced down at my plump form. "I don't have the, er, physique for adventuring in a fantasy world."
"That will be... remedied. You will know how to fight. How to wield your abilities. You shall have the chance to save that world however you choose." The figure snapped his fingers. "Good luck."
Light exploded around me.
~ * ~
Anni the Fighter
"Come on," I hissed in annoyance, hefting my sword and shield. "Just stop dodging!"
I swung at the blue slime with my blade, a cleaving blow to cut it in half.
It parted its body so that my sword missed. Missed! Fury washed through me. The pile of blue goo reformed as if to mock me. I ground my teeth and slashed again, needing to slay this monster. It was a blue slime.
If I couldn't slay a blue slime, how great of an adventurer was I? I would never be good enough to challenge the Demon Lord, let alone leave Narsi and adventure in the greater world. But the disgusting creature dodged my attacks.
Tentacles erupted from the creature and hurtled for me. I blocked with my shield. I felt the squishy impacts, my body shuddering. These things were foul. Disgusting. My skin crawled just thinking about those nasty appendages touching me. Molesting me.
Slimes had a taste for female adventures.
"All men are disgusting pigs!" I roared and slashed at a tentacle.
I missed.
"Bastard!"
I had to beat this thing. I would not end up molested by this thing before it killed me and dissolved my body. I would not be used to satiate this disgusting slime's perverse desires, nor for my body to host to its foul offspring. I would not help to bring more foul men into this world.
I hacked at it. Thrust. It dodged and lashed out with its tentacles. I blocked two with my shield. A third wrapped around my armored leg. I wore good leather pants with greaves over my shins and cuisses protecting my thighs. I had my breastplate on with pauldrons to protect my shoulders and upper arms. Bracers clad my forearms.
"You will not get me," I hissed as it jerked, trying to pull me off balance.
I slashed with my sword and cut it in half. My foot jerked free as the slime recoiled. I stepped back and slipped. I gasped as I fell to the ground. The slime gurgled in delight and surged forward, so ready to molest me.
"You won't defeat Anni that easily!" I shouted. "I'll be remembered. It'll be the best adventurer ever! Better than Corg Big-Nose and the Dashing Paladin. I'll triumph over--"
Bright light erupted behind the slime and a man appeared with brown hair and a goatee. He had an ax in one hand, a flail thrust through the thick leather built wrapped around the coat of chainmail he wore. He gasped in surprise, his boots squelching on a patch of mud in the Blackmoss Forest.
"Holy shit, I'm in another world," he said. He smiled at me. "Don't worry, fair maiden, I'll save you from the slime."
Another pig? Great!
~ * ~
Mark Johnson
I felt so thrilled. Right away, I would be saving a girl from a monster. She was young but not... cute. She had red hair, which was nice, but in a very butch haircut, and she had a big nose. Too big. She didn't look that endowed. Her armor certainly wasn't shaped to show off her breasts. It was... like a man's armor. Sexless.
Nothing hot or anime about her.
Still, it was my chance to be a hero I held an ax in one hand and seemed to have a flail tucked in my belt. I had my smartphone in my left hand. That was perfect. First, I just had to kill this slime and save the day.
I swung my ax and slammed it into the top of the slime. The sharp blade cut through the slime with ease. I hit the ground beneath it. The slime burst into a blue splooge that flew in all directions, splattering my boots and the ferns around us. It hit the mossy trunk of a tree, only the moss was gray instead of green.
More splattered the girl's boots. She hissed in frustration and scrambled up as I wrenched my ax free. She rose, some sunlight dappling her face and body as it pierced through the canopy of the forest we were in.
"Are you kidding me?" she demanded with such a sneer on her lips. "Really? You just step out of the light and just slay it that easily."
"Yep," I said, smiling at her. "I'm glad to be of service. I couldn't let a foul monster harm a fair--"
"Now you're hitting on me?" she demanded. "Ugh, you men are all pigs." She sheathed her sword and unlimbered her round shield, wood but bound with metal. She slung it off her shoulder. "I could have killed it! I didn't need your help."
"Geez, sorry," I muttered. "You looked like you needed some help, so I helped. Not the end of the world."
"Right, right, and you started hitting on me. What, you think that because you saved me, I'm supposed to swoon and beg to be in your party? 'Please, noble warrior, let me be your grateful party member. And since you saved me, you own my body and can ravish me with your big sword.'" She sneered with disgust. "Pathetic."
My cheeks burned. "I wasn't thinking that at all."
She gave me a hard look. "Of course you were. All male adventurers think us female adventurers are just doing this to find a husband. You think I'm going to stay at home and raise your whelp while you're off slaying monsters and bedding tavern wenches!"