He grabbed her hand and took her upstairs to his bedroom. Closing the door, he began to systematically take off his gear and stow it away properly. "I plan on spending all day in here." He grinned.
"Well, so long as I have a game plan." She winked. "Besides, the anticipation is entertaining in itself." She tugged her shirt over her head and pushed her pants off into the floor. "What are you going to do with little ol' me?"
Giving her a wicked grin, he yanked his shirt off. "Well, my first plan..." He put his hands on her cheeks, pulling her face into his kiss. "Is to make sweet, beautiful love to my wife."
"Mm, and after?"
"I'm going to wing it, and see where we land."
"Sold."
Pressing his mouth to hers, he took his time and just savored the flavor of her mouth, the expert moves of her tongue and the overall experience of her. She shifted, and he pressed her back, helping to lay her down on the bed. He swung his leg on to the bed, his knee going in between her thighs. Their foreheads touched and he closed his eyes, inhaling her scent.
Her arms came around his neck. "I love you." She whispered in a breath.
"I love you, too." He captured her mouth with his own as he pulled his other leg into the bed. He lost himself in her mouth, his legs sliding down to tangle with hers. His fingers tangled in her hair, and he just enjoyed the feel of her breasts on his chest. Slowly, he moved a hand across her shoulders, to her chest, and down to her hip. The other hand slipped behind her neck.
Her fingers played through his hair, before she slid a hand down and across his back. He tensed, but she used her expert fingers to soothe him back down. "Take me, Jordan. I am yours." She lightly scraped her nails down his back.
"I can't believe this is so difficult to do." He whimpered.
"Oh, my love. This is me. This is us. Please don't let her cruelty ruin something so beautiful for us."
He buried his face in her hair. "I'm trying."
"Come on; move off, I have another idea."
Shifting his weight, he freed her from the bed. She jogged downstairs, tucked into the Library and began to gather her materials. Once she was satisfied, she headed back upstairs. When she returned, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. She dragged his chair to the center of the room and sat it down.
He frowned at her. "What are you doing?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Always."
"Good." She sat her board in the chair and left the room again. She came back with an armload of pillows. Arranging the pillows on the bed to her liking, she pointed. "Lay down."
"Alright."
He lay back, and she began her delicate and detailed process of propping him up and getting him how she wanted him. She got comfy in the chair and began.
"What?"
"Don't talk, just relax and be comfortable. This will help, I know it will." She flicked her eyes up and down as she began to work. "I think you don't relax enough as is, but this misery has just messed with your head so badly, you're finding it difficult to enjoy the things you should. She tried to steal you from me, and now I'm going to take you back, and help you take yourself back." She sat her board to the side and walked over. Gently, she brushed her lips over his. "I love you."
"I love you too, baby."
"Let me do what I do best." She brushed her fingers down his cheek.
Sitting back down, she began to work again. "If you feel the need to talk it out, do so. If you want to just lay there and let me work, that's fine too." She winked. "You know I always try to fill requests."
He sighed. "I guess I'm lucky, because I don't remember any of it. But I'm really freaked out by it."
"You have every right to be." She said quietly. "Just because you were incapacitated, doesn't make it any less upsetting."
He frowned. "Yeah."
"Even if you were willing, the fact that they made sure you were unable to fight back..." She shook her head. "Yes, it's awful."
"You sound like..."
She just looked at him, before returning to her work.
"Baby, I had no idea."
Scratching the back of her neck, she sighed. "You forget, I've done everything... had everything done to me. For the most part, it was in the name of the Alliance. Occasionally, a target would become obsessed, even after the mission was over. I tended to prefer the missions where I could kill my target, just so I wouldn't have to worry about it. Sometimes though..." She shrugged. "I've had plenty of time to be over it. It really only bothers me when it happens to someone I care about, because I know the pain and terror they went through; are going through. My heart near died for Tulani, and I'd just met her.
You, I've loved for quite some time now, and it's tearing me to pieces. I dare not mention that to you, because I don't want you to feel worse about something you shouldn't feel bad about in the first place." She sighed and put her pencil down. "That's why I know, absolutely know, that I will not let you be by yourself right now." She flexed her hand and stared at her dagger. "Because one of those times was so bad, that I debated using this. Had it to my wrist for well over an hour, trying to will myself to use it. I finally decided that it was better to live and make myself stronger... to become the best of the best. I was only taken advantage of because I was weak, because I couldn't defend myself.
It took me years to realize that he did it to me because I was strong. Because he wanted to take that strength from me, to make me less than I was. He was just SO goddamned angry that I had bested him, that he had to destroy me."
"You sound like you know him."
"He was a dignitary of all fucking things." She twirled the dagger between her fingers. "He was accused of treason, but no one could find the evidence. However, he had a taste for female flesh, and I was prime candidate. So, I fucked his brains out and found the evidence. He was tried, convicted, and imprisoned. He lost everything, because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. What no one expected... was the fact that he escaped. How he found me, I still don't know, but he knocked me out, hauled me to one of his little safe houses.
It took me three days to escape." She quietly added.
"Baby..." With a horrified whisper, Jordan wiped his mouth.
"We think he bribed a guard, though no one could figure out which one. There was always this theory, that someone in the SI:7, jealous of my talents, told him where to find me." She shrugged. "I was missing a week. So, what happened before I remembered? Who knows? I will say that... I never had any clothes." She stared at the wall. "He had bound my dagger hand in such a way, that only someone in the SI:7 would have to have known how to do it. I chewed through the binding, when it loosened enough; I summoned my dagger, shoved it in his goddamned neck and ran."
"None of that is in your books."
"They're in the hidden set that I don't let people see."
He scooped her up. "Gods, I'm so sorry."
Her board clattered to the floor. "Oh, Jordan. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to go into all that. It was almost twenty years ago. I've had time to deal with it. Just like everything else in my life."
