- a continuing celebration of
-
Fifty Years of Pratchett
© 2023 Duleigh Lawrence-Townshend. All rights reserved. The author asserts the right to be identified as the author of this story for all portions not previously copyrighted by Terry Pratchett. This story or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a review or commentary. If you see this story on any website other than Literotica.com, it has been copied without the author's permission.
This is a work of love, a fan fiction. Many of these characters are the creation of Sir Terry Pratchett, as is the multiverse in which they live. Many of these creatures and characters are mine but some belong to the master. If you would like to find out which of these characters is or is not a creation of Terry, please contact this author. This tale was not written to steal the fame that Sir Terry rightfully earned, but to enjoy one more romp in the shadow of Cori Celesti and remind the world of what we lost on March 12, 2015.
No, you are not missing anything, Enchantress 5 is also called Happy Hogswatch!
"One day I'll be dead and THEN you'll all be sorry."
-
Terry Pratchett, 28 Nov 1992 on alt.fan.pratchett
______________________________________________
ENCHANTRESS 6
The Reluctant King
{
With parenthetical annotations
}
Hollie Worblehat-Stein wanted to be a witch. Ever since they visited Agness Dempsy's cottage, she decided that Witchcraft was the career path of choice for her. It didn't matter that Hollie was six when she first visited "Aunt Agness" she was sure that a witch was what she wanted to be. Agness was a true witch - black cat, starched collar on her black dress, cauldron out back ready to simmer up concoctions in huge proportions, travels by broom. Agness was a witch's witch. Agness didn't concern herself with worldly affairs like kings or queens and the affairs of state, she was more in tune with herbs and cats and phases of the moon, but she was good to little Hollie. Hollie even helped Agness and her dad, Nick, purge the Duchy of a sweeping case of Gorchov's Toe that suddenly infected half of the sheep in the valley and was spreading.
In return for the "help" that Hollie gave Agness and her dad, Agness presented Hollie with something that all witches start with - a kitten, at the age of eight, Hollie was on her way to earning a broom. As Hollie and her dad slowly plodded back home after treating the last affected sheep in the valley, Holly sat on the driver's seat of the buckboard wagon next to her father as she inspected the Worblehat-Stein's newest kitten. "I think I'm going to name him after my grandpa," said Hollie.
"Your grandfather?" Nick asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice. Hollie's paternal grandfather Ivo Stein was a wife beater, a rapist, a drunk, a gambler and as far as Nick knew he was knifed to death in the Mended Drum after being caught cheating at cards. Hollie's maternal grandfather Josif Aldana was a good man but through no fault of his own, died a Klatchian slave.
"Yeah, I'm going to name him Trei!"
"Good choice," said Nick, breathing a sigh of relief. Trei Metsker was a semi-retired village blacksmith and a friend of Nicks. Trei's several daughters had big families, so Trei was grandpa to quite a few children, and acted as Grandfather to all five of Nick and Octavia's children.
"I want to be a proper witch," said Hollie, "no guards, no brothers and sisters, just me and Trei in a cottage and I'm going to fly on a broom, not ride a bumpy wagon."
"Well, the wagon is just for emergencies that need a lot of medicine and tools, and you're going to have to talk to the King about the guards," said Nick. Along with being the official witch for Tallywiffle county and surrounding area, Nick is also the Duke of Wægn, and he is the kings most trusted advisor and the king demands an armed guard to protect Nick whenever he leaves his farm, which is quite often. Right now, Nick was traveling home from a farm on the turnwise end of the valley. He was escorted by one guard who split off as they neared the Creel Springs Watch House and rejoined the watch while Nick and Hollie with their buckboard wagon full of notions, potions, and tools of the veterinary trade headed up the mile long road to home.
Their farm started out a simple witch's cottage and grew as Nick's family and his skill as a witch grew. When a witch helps birth a child it's customary to pay the witch, but living in a farm community Nick has always been paid in livestock. It's handy to have a farm in that case, then you can watch your dividends multiply. His first "paycheck" was a pair of rabbits whose progeny still populate the hutch and occasionally appear in a meat pie. Octavia lined his gloves with their pelt so he's still in touch with them. Everyone in the family is kept warm during the winter with rabbit fur hats and gloves.
As they reached the halfway point a horse galloped up to them, it was Nick's oldest son, ten-year-old Marlon and a pair of arms around his waist told Nick that Annette, Marlons girlfriend and shadow was riding with Marlon. "Hurry up dad!" Marlon gasped out of breath, "Mom says if you don't get home soon, she's going to start without you."
"Ok," said Nick and he slapped the reins on the backs of the mules, "Kaleb, Teddi, Ha!" The mules woke from their walking slumber and picked up the pace. Another slap of the reins and they were almost trotting, which was a pretty good pace for a pair of plow mules heading uphill. Hollie was bouncing on the seat, this was the part of Witchcraft that was the most exciting part for her, and she wished she had a broom, she'd be there by now!
Nick eased the wagon to a halt in front of the cottage and hopped off, then as Marlon and Annette stepped up to him, he reached up and helped the giggling little blond down from the horse and said, "Can you put the mules and wagon away for me?" She nodded causing her fine white gold blond locks to wave in the sunlight. "Make that boyfriend of yours help. Come on Hollie!" and he headed into the cottage.
For a man with the responsibilities that Nick commands, he's quite short, five foot three, with black hair and a neatly trimmed beard that shows a scar running down the right side of his face, and he wears an eyepatch on his left eye, the scar and lost eye due to being caught in a stampede shortly after meeting the woman of his dreams, Octavia, who waited for him at the cottage door.
Octavia was taller than Nick, she had long, flowing black hair that never needed combing, she had large round breasts, and she normally had a slim waist but today she's over nine months pregnant, which on the discworld is overdue. Eight months and three weeks is average because the months are all 32 days long and each month has 4 weeks with eight days in each. {
The first day of the week is Sunday followed by Octday then Monday. Octday is not a day of rest, it's a Monday. Two Mondays a week make office workers on the Discworld the most disgruntled workers in the multiverse.
}
"Wouldn't you know that the last one is the pokey one," Octavia said with a grimace as Nick came and gave her a kiss.
"How far apart are the contractions?" he asked.
Instead of answering, Octavia turned and looked in the cottage, in there sat Jutta and Catrin, Octavia and Nick's mothers. Catrin sat with little Exavier on her lap, year and a half old Exavier held Nick's pocket watch. "Two minutes," said Catrin.
"Ok, we need hot water, towels and sheets, said Nick as he wrestled off his boots and rolled up his sleeves. Next to him, Hollie tried to do the same without putting down Trei. Nick came up behind Octavia and took his wife of over a decade into his arms.
"We need a name," said Octavia as their kiss ended.
"One will come, I'm sure," said Nick, but the lack of a name concerned Octavia. "The traditional Lancre way to name children is to name them at midnight that way they can start a new day with a new name."
"I am not going to call my last baby 'Hey you' until midnight."
"Last baby?" asked Nick. "Are you giving up on sex?"
"No, I'm giving up being pregnant." Octavia has always known that she will have six children. She doesn't know why, but she's always known that. A sudden contraction doubled her over in pain and when she could straighten up again, she gasped, "That was a good one."
Nick led Octavia to the couch that Marlon was born on, it's only fitting to have their last baby on the couch that their first was born on. "Ok, let's get comfortable," said Nick as he covered the 700-year-old couch with a "bedwetters" sheet and began laying out pillows for her to recline on.
Just then the twins came racing into the cottage, Lou and Loo-Loo, identical fraternal twins. Identical in every way, until bath time. Both had shoulder length black hair and were barefoot wearing identical shirt and shorts. Right now, the three-year-olds were covered in hay and straw which told Nick that they were playing in the barn. "You two need to clean up, we can't have any dusty, dirty little kids running around the new baby," scolded Nick. "Get cleaned up so you can meet your new brother or sister."
"Awww," they moaned, but they trooped upstairs with Octavia's mother Jutta following along. Lou and Loo-Loo or specifically Llywellyn and Llywella were identical, both were breathtakingly cute, both had a vocabulary that far outstrips that of other three-year-olds, because they have two grandmothers that will read to them 24/8 if allowed and they don't care what is read to them, as long as they can follow the words along in the books. Nick and Octavia have no idea what they're going to do with those two. They were hoping to set up one room for the boys and one room for the girls, but the twins cry all night if they're kept apart, and it was getting worse.
Nick checked Octavia's cervix and she was dilating nicely, "It won't be long now young lady," he smiled at her.
"You mean 'old girl' don't you?"
"No, you'll always be that young student on the roof of the Somnambulist Hall writing 'Mrs. Pommeraie de la Montesquieu Stein,' and 'Mrs. Octavia Stein' on the cover of her notebook."
"I thought you couldn't read back then," gasped Octavia.
"I couldn't, but you still have those notebooks, including the one with the fluttering hearts that pop into strawberry scented smoke."
"I re-emer oo!" said the family gargoyle from high up on her perch on the chimney. Gula had five of her babies clustered around her, waiting for their mother's egg on the mantle to hatch. Gula was there with Nick and Octavia on that day and followed them on their adventures until they reached this farm and she took up residence on the chimney of the fireplace. She had laid an egg every time Octavia became pregnant and had as many baby gargoyles as Octavia had baby people.
"I'm surprised you remember; it was so long ago."
Nick gave her a smile and waved his hands around like he did on that day over a decade ago and said the ancient words of power "
Nihil Est Brachium Meum!
" {
Nothing Up My Sleeve
