Deus Ex Machina

Shower. Shave. A long nap. Time to get dressed. Problem: I had only one suit that fit the "new and improved" me, version 2.0. Version 3.0 (today) needed more slack downstairs. I started with my now almost habitual "over the waistband" arrangement, and discovered that my suit pants were too tight for comfort. "Over the waistband" was getting old, anyway: I was beginning to think I was in danger of developing a permanent kink four inches from the root. Try again, this time going straight down the leg. More comfortable, but snug down that leg, and leaves a bit hanging out. Check the mirror: god no, that's not going to work. I'd be arrested the moment I step out in public; it looks like I have a vacuum cleaner hose stuffed down my pants. Time to get to a tailor? No way - maybe if I hadn't left it to the last minute.

OK, down is out. Up is left. Over the shoulder? There's plenty - the head ends up mid-shoulder blade on my back. But it doesn't stay in place. How about around the neck? No, now the collar doesn't fit, and I look deformed. Finally, I settle for wrapping it around my waist. I expand a bit, so that flaccid my cock reaches all the way around, with enough left over to tuck the head in under the other end of the shaft where it emerges from my pants. With my shirt on over it, it looks like I just have a spare tire. With the jacket and tie, I just look a little out of shape. I grab the directions to Lisa's house, and hit the car.

Its Friday night, and traffic is bad. Actually, I could say "it's Los Angeles, and traffic is bad" and be just as profound. Traffic is

always

bad. Unfortunately, this is

really

bad traffic, and I'm now discovering that having your dick running across the small of your back isn't very comfortable when you're wedged into a little Porsche seat for over an hour. Not that it hurts - I'm just trying not to lean on it, because I know I'll end up erect, and it will probably rip through my shirt in the process. At the least, I'll lose buttons, and have to go find another shirt, and I don't have the time right now. Finally, I decide I've had enough: I'll sling it over my shoulder for now, and put it back around my waist when I get to Lisa's.

Sitting in stop and go traffic on the freeway, I untuck my shirt and rearrange my cock, being careful not to expose myself to the bored drivers parked around me. I'm also thinking that it was not a good idea to go driving with the top down, because my cock makes an obvious bulge up my shirt and over my shoulder. It looks like I'm trying to smuggle pythons under my shirt. I hope I never have to go through airline security like this.

Finally, the traffic inches far enough that I can pull off and take my exit. I've gone about one block, when I see a flashing blue light in my rear view mirror. Shit, what did I do? I pull over, not very comfortable in this neighborhood, which is essentially deserted this close to the freeway. Not to mention the fact that I'm being pulled over.

The highway patrol officer walks up. "License and registration, sir?" I hand them over.

"What's the problem?" I ask politely, "I'm sure I wasn't speeding."

The officer, who I suddenly realize is female, grunts. "No, a motorist called in that you looked suspicious. What is that under your shirt?"

Shit. Well, at least I had the good fortune to be stopped by a woman cop. At least, I

hope

its good fortune...

"Uh, I don't think you're going to believe me."

"Sir, I need to see it."

"Uh,... If I show it to you, you'll arrest me for exposing myself."

"If you don't show me, I'm going to cite you for disobeying a peace officer."

"OK..." moving slowly, I take off my tie, and toss it on my jacket in the passenger seat. Then I unbutton my collar, then my shirt all the way down. I feel cool evening air on my torso and dick. Finally, I pull my shirt open to the left, exposing the length of dick hanging over my shoulder.

"Sir, is this some kind of a joke?"

"No officer, it's completely real. It just doesn't fit down my pants."

"It doesn't look real to me."

"Well, you don't find many this size. You should see it when it's hard." Shit, I didn't mean to say that. "Ah, you can feel it, if you want."

She glares at me, then considers. Then she reaches out and pokes the side of the shaft. I flinch - she has sharp fingernails. She considers this, then strokes my shaft from about mid-chest to over my shoulder, in a long, slow movement. This feels good enough to provoke a response, and my cock begins to swell, getting visibly wider. Her eyebrows go up. She strokes again, and the head lifts up as the shaft begins to straighten. I feel very exposed here - hell, I am

literally

exposed. I'm just lucky that there is almost no traffic here, and that its now dark enough that it won't be too obvious what was going on here from a distance.

I look up at her face - actually, she isn't bad looking, if a little severe. Right now, she looks spell-bound.

"Sir, does this work?"

"You can call me Dennis. Ah, yes, it works."

She strokes it again, more sensuously this time. I think she's forgotten where she is. She leans closer and inhales the scent, grasping my shaft in one hand. My cock is now fully erect, at a size that leaves the head about level with her chin.

"Dennis, I can't let you drive off like this. Can you put it down, or should I help you?"

It takes a minute for this to register, but while I'm blinking, she's running both hands up and down my shaft. I think I know which answer she would prefer, and how she intends to help.

"Well, if I'm not going to get a ticket,... I really

could

use some help, officer."

I smile up at her, and she smiles back. Then she repeats the stroking motion - but this time with her tongue. Then she runs her mouth along my shaft, with her hand on the other side of my shaft, so that her hand and mouth together encircle my throbbing cock. She runs up and down, up and down, then finally, slowly, reaches the head. She licks around the head slowly, applying pressure with her tongue, continuing to run her hands up and down my shaft.

By this time, I've undone my pants and pulled them down to my thighs - I need the space. She takes most of the head in her mouth - she has quite a large mouth - and swivels her head back and forth, running her tongue around where she can. Then she's running up and down the shaft with mouth and hand again, going as low as my waist (about as far as she can reach, leaning into my car), and ending with the head in her mouth again.

After the third or fourth trip, I feel the premonitory sensations, and at the end of the fifth trip I finally unload in her mouth. I think she could feel me coming before anything reached the end - her hands were in the right places, and she shoved as much of my head into her mouth before the wave reached her. I throbbed and pulsed for a minute, then let myself go flaccid, leaving a pile of cock in my lap. She seemed a bit dazed.

"Ah, thank you officer. Can I have my license back?"

"Oh, yes, certainly."

She took my license and registration off her clipboard and handed them back. It looked to me like she was memorizing my name and address. "You'd better cover that up," she said, pointing at my lap. I grabbed my coat and spread it out over my lap. "OK, drive carefully now." I started the car up, and drove off. I looked in my rear view mirror to see her still standing there, now looking down at her chest...

* * * * * *

I finally got to Lisa's house, about an hour late after the traffic and the little interlude with the highway patrolwoman. The driveway was full of cars, probably twenty or more, parked two across. I had to drive twenty yards down the street just to find a free patch of curb to park. Once parked, I put the top up on my Porsche, rearranged my cock around my waist, buttoned up my shirt, put on tie and jacket, and I was ready.

I rang the bell. Lisa answered after a minute. She had apparently spent the previous day having clothes made or altered for her new figure. She was incredibly buxom, but in fact the clothes minimized what I knew she really had.

A huge party was in progress inside. "Oh good! You're here." She took my arm and nearly dragged me into the entry hallway. "Looks nice. Hmm, I think we'll need to update your wardrobe a bit." Well, hadn't had time this morning for the new me.

"Your shirt looks like it needs..." She put her hand to the bulge around my waist "Ah, I see."

Then she slipped both arms around my waist, lasciviously caressing my cock through my shirt, under my jacket. She kissed my neck, my jawline, my lips, her immense tits pressing against my chest, "mmm, time for more of that later. There are people I want you to meet."

She led me on into the living room, which was full of beautiful people, all better dressed than I was.

"That looks like a famous actress." A very famous actress.

"She is. I told you I work for an agent - well, every now and then I like to throw a party. Quite a few stars like to come."

I stood there, gawking, never having met a celebrity before. Most of the people I didn't recognize. There were a few I recognized, but couldn't name. Quite a few very attractive women, although none of them were particularly chesty. Viewing the crowd again, I noticed that it seemed to consist of knots centered on various stars. Lisa ran her fingers through my hair a few times, then dragged me into the middle of the party, pressing a glass of wine into my hand, and then...

Disappearing into the crowd. I turned to say something to her, and discovered that she wasn't there - I didn't see her anywhere in the room. Turning back, I found myself standing next to one of the vaguely familiar but unnamable starlets. Perhaps a starlet in waiting?

"Hi, I'm Helen, are you a friend of Lisa's?"

"Hi, yes. I'm Dennis."

"So, what have you been in? Anything I would know?" She apparently assumed that I was one of the actor clients.

"Ah, no, I'm not an actor. We just met at a club. How about you?"

"Oh, I'm just waiting for the right part. You know how it is, everybody comes to LA and the studios just have too many people to choose from. They don't always get just the right person for the part."

"Yeah, that must be hard. So, where are you from?"

"Oh," she lowered her voice to a confidential murmur "Boise, but don't tell anyone."

"No problem. I'm from Chicago." Now I had run out of things to say, as, apparently, had she. After a minute of standing there, not knowing where to look, she brightened up.

"Say, Lisa said she had a friend who would be here who could help me get a part. Is that you?" she put her hand against my chest.

"Uh, I don't think so. I don't have any connections with the movie industry or anything. Other than Lisa, I mean."

At that moment, Lisa reappeared, cupped her hand and spoke into Helen's ear. Helen's eyebrows went up, then her mouth dropped open and her eyes went wide, then she looked at me in disbelief. I couldn't hear any of what was said, over the noise of the party. Then Helen said "OK", took my hand and began leading me out of the room. Lisa stopped me for a moment, cupped her hand against my ear and said "drink your wine. She'd have better luck landing a part if she had more on top. You'd like to help her out, wouldn't you?" I looked at Lisa, and she winked back.

"Does she...?"

"Yes, go, go."

I let Helen lead me out. She was really a bit thinner than I liked, but had a very nice ass and a pretty face. Once outside the living room, she led me down a hallway, and up a flight of stairs at the end. I hadn't seen much of the house yet, and had no idea how many rooms it had. A number of the upstairs bedrooms were already occupied, but several at the end of the hall were standing open. She led me into one, and locked the door behind us. Then she was in my arms, her arms around me, kissing me passionately. She was pretty good at kissing.

"Ah, what exactly did Lisa tell you?"

"Oh, she said that if I was

really

nice to you, you had a way of making me bigger on top. She said you had done it for her. She also said you had an incredibly big package." Here, she reached down to feel my balls through my pants, and was puzzled not to find my dick there. I got the strong impression that she was not surprised at the idea of doing sexual favors to advance her career.

"Uh, it's up here," I explained, moving her hand to the swelling band around my middle. She caught her breath in surprise. Her other hand felt my dick on the other side. "How...?"

I pulled my shirt out of my pants, and the head popped out from where it was tucked under the shaft. "Ohmigod!" she breathed. She let go and took a step back, which allowed my cock to swing around my waist and begin swelling to erection in front of me. She watched as I began throbbing to a four-foot erection. Gingerly taking it in her hands, she asked "what do I have to do?"

"Ah, just suck me. And swallow."

"Oh! no problem. You wouldn't believe how kinky some people are."

She applied her mouth to the end of my cock, stuffed the entire head inside, and began sucking like a vacuum cleaner. She couldn't get much up and down motion - the head completely filled her mouth, tightly - so she began twisting her mouth around on it, and pumping with both hands. I felt like putting my arms around her, but of course couldn't reach her with a four-foot erection in the way. I settled for holding the base of my shaft with both hands, pumping in unison with her.

I found myself closing my eyes and thinking about Lisa, and how she was able to deep throat me, even at larger sizes. Thinking about how good that was going to feel later tonight, and then about burying my cock to the root in her pussy. I found myself coming, it felt like pints of cum, into Helen's mouth. She dutifully swallowed, and didn't stop sucking until I finally told her she could stop.

"Mm, I liked that! Now what happens? Do I make an appointment?"

I wasn't sure if she really liked it, or was just a good actress. I think she was expecting to be put off.

"No, your breasts grow now. Right here."

She was still holding my cock, but now that it was flaccid, I could take a step closer and cup her breast with my hand.

"See, they're growing right now."

She dropped my cock and put both hands to her boobs.

"Ohmigod! they are!" Her boobs swelled, overflowing her B cup bra, pushing up against her blouse.

"You might want to undo your bra." She quickly did. She stopped at about a C cup.

"Can we do that again?" She was holding my cock again, and rubbing it against her cheek.

"Ah, sure. Of course." Ms. Vacuum Cleaner began again, with even more enthusiasm, and was shortly a very happy Ms. D cup. We put our clothes back on, and wandered back to the party.

I had just started another glass of wine when I felt Lisa's wet lips on my ear. "Oh, she's

very

happy. I think she may land a part tonight. And she

really

enjoyed you." The last I'm sure was straight flattery: Helen had been amazed, but I'm sure she wouldn't have picked me to date, even with the monster schlong. Frankly, I wondered if she dated at all, other than to advance her career. "There's someone else I'd like you to meet..."

She introduced me to another woman, very short, with short dark hair. "I hear you have quite the package," she said without preamble, as soon as Lisa had dashed off.

"Well, you know the joke about the guy who made the horse cry? That's me." She was already dragging me up the stairs. I'll just mention that she looked startlingly erotic after she swelled out to an E cup.

And so the evening went. I would return to the living room, or the patio out by the pool, grab a glass or a bite of food, and then be steered into the arms of the next guest in need of enhancement. A few of them were quite famous, but I'll let you figure out who they were. Just check the entertainment pages to see who's recently been enlarged. In between sessions, Lisa would apply herself to encouraging me, and stimulating me. I have to admit, I

was

really looking forward to getting her back in the sack (or the pool) - not only because I liked her, and she had

really

good technique, but, well face it, she was the only one who could accommodate more than just the tip of my cock, even at minimum.

And it appeared that I was not the only one providing "services." At one point, I noticed Lisa leaving one of the upstairs bedrooms, followed a few seconds later by a handsome young actor type. He seemed even more smug than the stars downstairs (a real feat in itself), and from his demeanor I guessed that he had just been bumped up a size or two and was feeling pretty cocky. I had just finished with Suzanne, a young brunette starlet, and had been about to head downstairs while she was still putting on her shoes, when he walked past and advised me, condescendingly:

"Hey, if you worked out more, you could lose that gut and get the really hot babes."

I heard the woman behind me groan in disgust. Really put off by his rudeness, I decided he needed a good shock. I told him "It is

not

a gut," pulled my shirt out of my pants, releasing my cock so that it draped over the waistband of my pants and reached the floor. I increased my length in the process, so that a good foot of cock was lying on the floor. Hauling the end up, hand over hand, I shook the end at him, saying "You really should know who you're talking to before you start offering criticism." He stood there in shock for a moment, staring at the end of my cock.

"That's not real" he pronounced.

"Like hell it isn't!" came Suzanne's voice from the room. "He could fuck me from where he's standing!"

"Bullshit"

He was definitely struggling with his ego. Suzanne, on the other hand, seemed to know him already. And apparently disliked him. Intensely. He looked like he was trying to figure out how her boobs had gotten larger, probably having seen her earlier in the evening. She dropped her shoes, walked over, and took the end of my cock. Holding it to her face, she kissed it a few times, stroked it tenderly, and then almost angrily jammed the head into her mouth. She stepped backwards in the room as my cock swelled to erection, and I kept the diameter at minimum (still very thick) while letting the length expand to about eight feet.

He stood there watching, rooted to the spot. I could hear him breathing heavily as he watched Suzanne suck and stroke my enormous dick. Finally, I grabbed onto the nearest doorjamb and let loose another flood of cum. This was her third for the evening, and she let some escape - I think mainly to demonstrate that I actually ejaculated, and wasn't just a "special effect."

Finishing, she rubbed her cheek against the side of my cock, held it against her shoulder, and waved off Mr. Asshole, saying "bye bye, small fry." He turned and hurried down the stairs. I closed the door so that we could get cleaned up again in private. Suzanne said "thanks, I've always wanted to do

something

to that jerk. And

really

thanks for these!" She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me sincerely, as I felt her swelling boobs expand against my chest. The middle two buttons strained and popped off. She was one of the few who was sincerely interested in seeing me again. I took her telephone number and email address.

We didn't do all of the guests, but I know I did quite a few of the women. Finally, around 2 am, the party wound down, and the last other guests left. The room I had used most often upstairs had a pile of discarded bras in one corner. I asked Lisa if she'd like help cleaning up.

"I

have

help to clean up. What I'd like now is

you

." She put her arms around my neck, and gave me a passionate kiss, pressing her enormous tits against me, grinding her crotch against mine. Then remembering, and dropping one arm to run along my cock where it encircled my waist. "Oh, I can't wait to get you into me again," said her wet lips on my ear, "but first, let's smoke this."