Doubt has festered in my mind lately. Thoughts come to me heavier and stronger than before. Events beyond my control have made my life miserable, but I have never regretted my own choices before. Why do these emotions surface now, when I have long since lost all that which I held dear? I search but cannot find the answer.
Stilling the hunger has become my only solace on these long, dark nights. I think of her every day.
Not even the wonders of the forest can hold my attention for long. I see a majestic and crowned elk reaching for the stinging needles on a pine branch. A loon moans sorrowfully through the dancing mist above a black pond. The red light of a decaying day shines back at me from the eyes of a lynx and her young. Thousands of creatures rustle through the moss and leaves in the undergrowth, oblivious of prowling foxes.
Beauty surrounds me, but everything seems tainted.
All I do these days is cry.
-----
My new role had changed something essential in me. The path back to a human life was no longer open to me, and with that realization, everything shifted. With no other choice left, I found it surprisingly easy to adapt. Being a nymph seemed like the most wonderful thing in the world when I was with Skuld.
Even the trolls seemed to know that I no longer had any hope of a human life. I was free to roam the outside world and enjoy the same freedoms as any other nymph in the mountain. Although I remained at the bottom of the social order, I found a semblance of peace. Finally, I was treated in the same way as my equals, even if the transformation had sent me down an unexpected path.
I threw myself into that freedom with all the youthful energy my new body granted. Together, Skuld and I lived out our happiest days -- exploring the wilderness and cavernous depths together and making love underneath the stars each night. She showed me all her secret places and hidden beauty hidden far from the eyes of men and trolls alike.
Within the mountain I experienced the deep bond that tied all fairy-folk together. It was a rigid society bound by harsh rules - especially for women. Yet somehow it held a strange balance between might and allure, cruelty and grace. Like a reflection of the duplicitous nature of the world that had born us.
Still, behind my contentment a quiet fear festered. Could this life really last? How could I go from being distrusted and feared one day and fully accepted the next, without consequence? I tried to let go of the doubt, but every moment I spent with Skuld felt fragile, like it was our last time together. The only thing that released me from my worries was the intense ecstasy she conjured in me when we shared our leafy beds.
After the initial euphoria slowly faded, leaving my mind open to other thoughts, I began to reflect on my purpose in this hidden world. I knew well what the stories said about nymphs. Ever since I was a little boy, I had heard tales of men being seduced by these wonderful forest creatures and stripped of every ounce of life force.
This dawned on me as days went by and I felt increasingly tired. Despite hearty meals and restful days, there was something in me that never truly replenished. The energies that enabled me to race through the mountains without end or enjoy hours of pleasure now seemed to seep away with each passing night.
Skuld noticed. Reluctantly, she explained to me the sinister side of our existence. She called it "the hunger". Every nymph felt it from time to time. Trolls believed it to be similar to their gluttonous taste for human flesh, but this was something deeper - something rooted in the core essence of the Underworld. A force only the nymphs truly understood.
We were the link between the ancient Earth-Mother and her damned offspring. She, who had birthed us all, eons before humans and their like arrived. Through our wombs we carried a bond to her. A fruitful barrier against the human powers threatening to destroy Nature and its inhabitants. Our abilities were a blessing and a curse. Like every being needed to kill in order to replenish, nymphs needed to seduce.
Skuld took me on my first hunt.
It was a frightening experience which I will always remember. We wandered several days from our home, reaching a human settlement on the outskirts of civilization. Humans were the people that had born and raised me, but I felt little remorse for what I was about to do. I did not know these individuals like I had learned to love Skuld and my new people.
Besides, the hunger had grown strong, obfuscating my inhibitions. I needed this. Even though I had never experienced it, my body yearned for the erotic fulfillment of the hunt. For my own joy and replenishment, but also for Skuld. I wanted to stay in this life with her -- for her.
We found him on the edge of the forest. The steady, rhythmic sound of his axe-blows told me that this was a healthy, strong man in the prime of his life. Today he would experience pleasure beyond imagination, but also drown into deep, obsessive despair. The irony was not lost on me.
As I saw the bare torso with muscles straining to uphold the rhythm of the axe, my body betrayed me by sending waves of heat through my loins. Part of me still thought of myself as a boy in a girl's body. I did not think that I could feel this kind of desire. My body told me otherwise. As soon as new images of him entered my imagination, warmth and wetness blossomed between my legs.
Skuld smiled knowingly at me, reading my body like an open book. Her eyes betrayed excitement.
"Do you feel it? Your body knows it will feed tonight."
I knew her predictions were right. The more I looked at the man, the more my body ached for him to take me, to lay me down and fuck me till I fainted. I imagined his huge, warm limb enter me and tear my body apart in thrilling orgasms.
"You're panting so loud they'll hear you," Skuld whispered. "Try to master the hunger and use it to your advantage. There is nothing more arousing to a man than the faint hint of sexual desperation beneath a girlish modesty."
I did not understand at first, but somehow the female part of my mind instinctively gathered the composure I needed. All I wanted was to throw myself at him and lower myself onto his cock. The only thing that held me back was a subconscious promise to my body: I would know satisfaction.
The powers that inhabited my new flesh seemed to know what was coming, and they blossomed. He never stood a chance.
It was easy enough to lure him beyond the reach of his fellows.
A glimpse of enticing movements through the trees. A teasing whiff of pheromones on the slight breeze. The heedless chase into the wilderness quickly whipped him into a frenzy.
His pants were nearly torn by the immense pressure of his manhood. Smelling, searching and yearning for my scent. We were all alone but for Skuld, skulking somewhere in the dense foliage.
It was time.
I stumbled deliberately, collapsing on the ground and uttering a pitiful yelp. My flustered cheeks could easily be mistaken for exhaustion or fright, and my heart kept hammering like the immense hide-clad drums in the King's Hall.
