Lucy
"Wait," I said. "You're saying... I was only chosen to become the Heroine... to hurt Eena's mom by killing Eena?"
"That is likely correct," Doll confirmed. "At the very least, I find it hard to believe you were chosen by coincidence."
Her voice was flat. Emotionless. Like she didn't care that she'd just ripped the rug out from under me. Not that it was her fault or anything, but... I just... I didn't...
"Lucy," Eena said, turning to look right at me. I could hear the concern in her voice just from how she said my name. "Whatever the reasons behind you being chosen, whatever the reason for this war, it doesn't change who
you
are. It doesn't change what you've accomplished - the good you've done with your title, the help you've given to others, and the work you have started with me-"
"I know!" I interrupted. Which was really rude, but I just couldn't help myself. I didn't want to hear her listing my accomplishments... "I know I... I've done a lot of good! I've helped a lot of people! Or at least I want to think so? But... this whole time I thought I was special. I thought it was fine to do things my way, because I had the Goddess backing me... I was so sure that I was right, and the church was wrong... that
you
were wrong... But... What if
I'm
the one that's wrong? How do I know if what I'm doing is right or not? I've preached to all those people, told everyone that the goddess wanted them to be good, but... how do I know if
I
was ever right to begin with?!"
"You don't." Eena's voice was soft, but warm. Suddenly, her arms were wrapped around me - awkward, but gentle, a classic Eena hug. This time, though, I didn't have armor getting in the way. This time I could feel her warmth as she hugged me. I guess she could tell how desperately I needed it.
"You follow your heart," she continued, speaking softly into my ear. "
Nobody
ever really knows for sure whether what we're doing is right or not, Lucy. We just... follow our hearts and hope that the people around us will correct us if we're in the wrong."
"I... I never... I mean..." I bit my lip, not sure what I even wanted to say. "You're right. I know you're right! But... I... I don't..."
"But nothing!" Abigail chimed in. "You're doing good, alright? From everything you and Devilla have told me, anyways. I mean, you're trying to end a genocidal war! You don't need a goddess to
tell
you that that's the right thing to do, do you?!"
"N-no," I whispered. I didn't. Even if the war
had
been going on for thousands of years... and I couldn't rely on the Goddess to tell me my heart was right, anymore... I still knew that this much death and destruction was wrong!
"What was that?" Abigail asked. "I can't hear you! Maybe you think demons actually do deserve to be wiped out or something?"
"N-no! I don't need the Goddess to tell me I'm right! I'm doing something good! I'm helping people! I'm... I'm doing what feels right in my heart!"
"Then what's there to worry about?!" Abigail demanded. "You're the Heroine, aren't you? The first
real
Heroine, so far as I'm concerned. Who the fuck cares if it started off as some petty idiot's revenge plot when you've got the power to turn it back on her and tell her to shove it up her ass?"
I couldn't help but smile a little, but it didn't last long. "But... If... if things had gone according to her original plan, I'd..." I bit my lip as tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't want to even think about it, let alone say it, but... "I-I would have killed Eena... I... I would have felt
good
about it.
Proud.
"
"But you didn't," Eena said, squeezing me even tighter. Tight enough that it even hurt a little, but I didn't ask her to loosen her grip. "Her plan has been derailed and now you're on our side as a
proper
Heroine of love and justice."
"...I don't think love has much to do with my job, Eena!"
"It made you laugh, though, did it not?" she pointed out.
She was right, too! I... I was smiling! Despite everything, I was smiling!
"Besides," she continued, "it's not like love has
nothing
to do with it. Considering we're partners in justice, as well as love, are we not?"