Courting The Jinn

Greetings, reader

This is my submission to the

April Fools Day Story Contest 2024

. The story takes place in a fantasy world, and April Fools Day is not mentioned; however, trickery, puzzles, wordplay, and such are major themes of the story, so I think its inclusion is appropriate. For those who may be turned off by the length, I assure you that there's sex throughout, not just at the end. I've tried to interweave it with an interesting storyline. Also note that the story contains lots of different kinds of sex that cover many of this site's categories, and the tags above don't quite include everything, so if you're mainly looking for vanilla encounters, you may want to read something different. Finally, each character who has sex and is humanoid enough for human age rules to apply is at least eighteen years old when they do so, and any character/creature not humanoid enough for human age rules to apply has reached their species' appropriate level of sexual maturity.

Hope you enjoy!

S_a_u_t_e_u_r

👗 🌴 🦇 🍷 🐍 ★

Once upon a time, in a far-off universe, lived a wealthy and well-known adventurer. Having defended his kingdom in a time of need, most thought highly of him, but some spread strange rumors. The strangest concerned his wife. Several friends, former friends, and acquaintances claimed to have seen or spoken with her, but they differed on her appearance, voice, and personality. Some claimed to have befriended her, finding a thoughtful and amiable companion. Some claimed to have seduced her, finding a timid but willing explorer. Some claimed to have tried but faced stubborn refusal. Some claimed to have been seduced by her. Did the adventurer have multiple wives? He always denied it, and even introduced his wife as his "first and greatest treasure." No one knew her name.

On the adventurer's seventieth birthday, he hosted a great party at his manor. A grand total of seven thousand were to occupy the place at once, including the adventurer himself, his wife, their five children, a dozen guards, and a dozen servants. Nobles and commoners alike were welcomed or turned away by the flip of a coin until the total was reached, and then the gates were shut. All agreed it was a lovely night. Fireworks, food, music, marvels, dancing, duels, and even large pools for those interested (in which all swam nude, for no one had thought to invent swimwear) entertained the adults, while children lost themselves in huge hedge mazes and visited exotic animals.

At the end of the night, the adventurer gave a speech from a terrace above the gathered crowd.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and whosoever else listens, I take it you've had a splendid time. I'm glad. To any lovers who may have met tonight, may I add, I wish you oh so very well.

"My life grows short. In all but one respect I am satisfied, and that I wish to remedy tonight. I wish to introduce to the world my first and greatest treasure, my wife. Darling, come to me."

A feminine figure parted the crowd and ascended the stairs. A tight, deep blue dress; golden bands upon fingers, ankles, wrists, and neck; and silvery, cascading locks of hair drew everyone's attention. Murmurs rippled through the crowd.

Far off, atop one of the hedge mazes' great walls, two clever children were congratulating themselves for having managed to get up. "Ci and Yi, we climbed a tree! We didn't even scrape our knee!" they sang between bursts of giggles.

"Wait," said Yi, "we have four knees, not one!"

"You're right," said Ci. "What else rhymes with 'tree'?"

"'See'?"

"We've already used 'Ci'."

"No, 'see'. As in 'See Ci see Ci see sea. That's a sentence. It's what you do when you stare at yourself in the ocean."

"Zuphalo zuphalo zuphalo-- wait, look over there!"

Ci and Yi stopped their chatter to gaze at the figure climbing the stairs. Both said afterward they'd never seen anyone quite alike.

"When I was young," the adventurer continued when his wife reached his side, "I met my wife in a magic cave. Eluding its traps, I made my way to the end and found a narrow jar. When I rubbed it, a spirit came out. This woman, my wife, is that spirit. The few of you who have met her before may not recognize her. She takes many forms, but rest assured, she's the same inside." The adventurer smiled. "She has no name, because the dragon who created her never gave her one. Thus far, she has not needed it.

"When I met my treasure, I was given three wishes. I thought long. My choices, though unorthodox, have satisfied me well. You've no doubt heard the tale of the great magi whose fear of wasting his wishes drove him to continual silence and robbed the best years of his life. I evaded that trap as easily as the others. First, I wished my spirit to ignore anything I said that might sound like a wish unless I phrased it very specifically -- in rhymed couplets of ten syllables. If I speak thus, she must reply in kind, confirming the wish I've made, and at no other time may she speak in that poetic form.

"For my second wish, I composed a poem in the form I'd required, in which I made my spirit my beautiful bride. Body or soul, I could not ask for better. I've had fantastic fun, the likes of which might overwhelm many of you in the telling, so I shan't tell it. But now, as I've said, my life grows short. I find myself pondering my legacy, longing to perpetuate my happiness, to share my love. And so I come to my third wish."

The crowd listened in utter silence. Ci and Yi, who had made their way as close as they could upon the hedge, strained their ears.

My dear, you must return from whence you came

That long-forsaken treasure hall reclaim

Make of it ye a devl'ish trap and test

Conquerable by none but this land's best

And as each suitor fails, no mercy show

But treat him as a hostile, hated foe

Until one worthy finally succeeds

Then satisfy his sundry wants and needs

And him entreat to make with you a pact

Like that 'tween you and I, dear benefact

By day to build a bond of love and trust,

By night to rouse, then sate his carnal lust

For one who would inherit you, my dear,

You must ensure to be a worthy heir

The adventurer's voice rang out. Silence persisted a few seconds, but just when Ci and Yi felt it about to break, another voice replied in kind. The words came slowly, as if chosen with great care, but only once, briefly, fully ceased to flow. The voice itself was sweet, yet tinged with unearthly melancholy, evoking a feeling Ci and Yi had felt just once before, alone in the desert, gazing at the stars.

I've heard, and now must do as you command

In dark, below the scorching eastern sand,

I'll build my house again, all to withstand

But him distinctly worthy of my hand

Let seven tasks suffice, wilily planned,

and fools beware or swiftly be unmanned

Now eagerly await I he who'll win

My body, soul and life, as you, my friend,

Have done

The speaker took a breath.

One further warning I'll append

Bring as you like thy servants, pupils, kin,

But face the test alone you must, for jinn

Must serve a single master till his end

With that, the spirit vanished.

A moment passed, then all at once, the silence did break. Shouts rang out, some praising the adventurer, some denouncing him, but he was nowhere to be seen. Soon fights broke out, and the dozen guards drove the guests from the manor. In the coming months, many of the adventurer's friends and allies set out on journeys, never to be heard from again. The adventurer withdrew from public life, and before long, no one knew what had come of him. Rumors that he'd died began to spread. But before all that, right before the silence broke, two whispers stirred it.

"I think I love her," whispered Yi.

"'Jinn' doesn't rhyme with 'end'," whispered Ci, hand on chin, "nor 'dear' with 'heir'."

🌴 🌴 🌴 🌴 🌴 🌴 🌴

A decade passed before Ci and Yi, now adults, found themselves at the mouth of a dark cave at the end of a deep canyon in a remote wilderness. They checked their map one last time, then dismounted their camels and led them inside. From their saddle bags they took large canteens of water, giving themselves and their mounts a big drink.

"I'm wet," remarked Yi. "My chin, I mean." Ci raised an eyebrow.

"All day long," Yi continued, "I was thinking how good it would feel to get filled to the brim. After all, our canteens are plenty full." Ci took a swig, and Yi followed suit. "And get outta these clothes, feel something smooth on my skin.... Mind if I change?"

"No problem."

Yi, like Ci, wore a white, hooded robe tied at the waist, ideal for diverting sunbeams. Matching gloves, sandals, stockings, and face scarf protected all but the eyes. Yi removed the gloves, sandals, scarf, and hood; stood and untied the tunic at the waist, then walked leisurely to a saddle bag, letting the robe billow out, and retrieved something bright yellow, laying it across the saddle. Sighing, Yi pulled an arm out of a sleeve, then the other, and let the robe drop to the ground. Only the stockings and a tight two-piece undergarment remained. Yawning, Yi stood and indulged in a huge stretch, bending backwards to see the wall behind from upside down, then straightened back up, bent forward, and widened into a deep split.

Ahh

, Yi moaned, and looked directly at Ci, who had stood.

"There's sand in my bum." Yi smirked as Ci approached. "The fabric's sooo tight--"

Ci pulled Yi up by the armpits, and immediately they were kissing. Ci's hands fondled Yi's ass; Yi's crotch ground against Ci's still-covered thigh. The adventurers were roughly the same height, both a bit short. They shared caramel skin and shoulder-length, dark, slightly curly hair. From a distance, one would have struggled to tell them apart but for Yi's recent riddance of attire.

"I love you," Ci said after a minute, "but now's not the time."

"You sure?" asked Yi, stepping back. "Might be our last."

"Much as I'd love to, let's wait till the job is done. I want my mind sharp."

"I want a different part of you sharp," said Yi with a smirk.

"Ha ha," Ci deadpanned.

"Speaking of sharp, zool-fighters claim it improves the eye."

"Straight from the mouth of a real zool-fighter, I'm sure."

"No, really, doesn't it make sense? I fight better, think better when I've got no tension. Why wouldn't I see better too?"

"Or find yourself improved in other ways?"

"Exactly!"

Ci paused, head tilting sideways. "You know, you might be right."

"Really?"

"Depending on the nature of those improvements. For example" -- Ci inhaled sharply -- "if we could make you smell better, I'd say the benefit would greatly outweigh the downside." Yi's mouth opened to speak, but Ci continued quickly before Yi could get a word out. "Let's do an experiment. Relieve your tension -- I'll take notes -- and if I notice a significant positive change, I'll help you out the second time."

"You know I'm not gonna do that!" Yi said. "You're no fun." Before the start of their relationship a few years prior, Yi had spent a lot of time alone, and since then, had resolved to leave that part of life far behind. Ordinarily, Ci had no complaints about that decision.

"Suit yourself," Ci said with a smirk.

"Ok, fine."

"I'll make it up to you later."

"Deal. And just so we're clear, does this mean absolutely no flirting till we're out of here?"

"Well, I didn't say that."

They stared at each other, stepped back into a warm, affectionate embrace, and kissed tenderly.

"For real, I love you," said Ci.

"I love you too."

--------

The adventurers ate a light meal of sauteed cactus pads (surprisingly good if one removes the spines). They'd gathered them from the bottom of the canyon, where grass and scraggly bushes also grew, more life than anywhere nearby. Ci wondered if the surrounding geography somehow funneled the infrequent rain into the canyon; Yi suspected something more accounted for the odd difference. The adventurers let their mounts find fresh food as well. They left them untied, trusting the trained animals to stay close until the next day at the earliest. If the adventurers didn't return, instinct would win out, and the camels would have a fair chance to survive.

Yi had put on the bright yellow outfit retrieved earlier, a sleeveless dress, light but durable, that reached to the top of the knee. Ci wore a short-sleeved tunic and pair of pants in differing shades of brown, both made of the same durable fabric as Yi's outfit. Before setting out, they'd considered bringing light armor, but neither expected its benefit to outweigh the need for speed and agility. Additionally, each wore gloves and light boots and carried a lantern. Ci had a small backpack and a sheathed short sword secured with three straps to the thigh. Yi had a small, foldable knife stowed in a pocket.

Wishing their mounts goodbye, the adventurers joined hands and made their way beyond the mouth of the cave. The sandstone floor was rough and uneven but traversable without much trouble except at a few steep descents and ascents. The tunnel wound this way and that but did not branch. The adventurers' eyes grew accustomed to the dim light. They didn't speak, keeping their ears out for danger, but heard nothing besides their footsteps.

"It feels weird," Ci remarked. "All this time, and we're finally here."

"I know."

Ci thought for a moment. "What if I'm wrong?"

"About what?"

"The whole thing. What if it was all a coincidence? If her poem had no hidden meaning at all, and we're gonna try to do the first challenge together and get screwed?"

"Just a coincidence that the first part of her poem rhymed perfectly but every two lines of the second part failed in exactly the same way? And that she broke her rhythm right in the middle of that part?

"Well..."

And don't forget the blatant sarcasm about wanting someone to win control of her soul. You really think she was serious?"

"I didn't think it was that blatant. If it was, why did so many go looking for her? I keep thinking they must have known something we didn't."

"Went looking and ended up dead. I think you know something they didn't -- how to be a good person. Speaking of which, help me up?"

They'd come to a ledge. Ci knelt to lift Yi by the foot.

"If an attentive ear made one good, scribes would be the paragons of virtue."

"Well I think you're good in numerous ways." Yi had grabbed the top of the ledge. "And places. Rooms specifically, now that I think--"

Ci took a swipe at Yi's dangling ass. Yi gasped but didn't let go and scrambled quickly out of reach. Turning around, Yi lay down and peeked over the ledge.

"What was that for? I was just trying to cheer you up!"

"Uh huh"

"Really!"

"Well I'm still in need of elevating." Ci held up an arm.

"Emm, one condition."

"Oh my gosh"

"Kiss it all better?"

"...Fine."

Yi reached down and grasped Ci's hand. A moment later, they were both at the top. Ci took a step forward, but Yi didn't rise, just glancing backwards with a grin.

"Alright," said Ci, "get up and lean against that wall."

Yi hopped up and bent more than ninety degrees, braced against the sandstone. Ci touched a finger to the back of Yi's knee and trailed it higher, where it disappeared under the bright yellow skirt to palm the hidden flesh.

"Sure a simple caress won't do?"

"Nope"

Ci took the hem in both hands as if to lift it, but rather than that, planted a quick smooch on the fabric above the aggrieved globe and immediately gave the other a harder slap. "Ow!" Yi yelped.

"Let's go." Ci walked forward.

"I think I'm turning you on."

"Maybe"

"Keep this up, and once I seduce our nameless spirit, I won't let you play with her for a week."

"Works for me. Unlike you, I can bring myself to play with myself." And so they continued down the tunnel.

Not long later, the tunnel opened into a massive cavern. Unlike the tunnel, which had appeared natural throughout, the cavern's floor seemed unnaturally smooth. Pale mushrooms grew here and there, insects expeditioned across the expanse, and the sound of dripping pierced the silence in unexpected intervals. The adventurers didn't immediately enter, but after looking hard and seeing nothing out of the ordinary, they thought it safe to venture into the open.

As they made their way across, a destination came into view, a tall outcropping made barely visible by the few rays of torchlight that reached it. The adventurers directed themselves toward it. As they progressed, they noticed two things. First, the outcropping's appearance became more clear: two huge stone feet, thirty or forty times human height, toes pointed up, big toes touching, heels half buried and just a little closer to each other than twice a human's arm span. Second, the adventurers realized they were on a wide peninsula extending into a lake of mud. At one point, they diverted course to examine it. The shore was a sharply defined line where the rock dropped off to meet the watery but opaque liquid. Bubbles broke the surface from time to time. Yi chucked a rock, and it sank with a splash; seconds later, the surface stirred oddly near where the rock had fallen.

The adventurers went on. Reaching the huge stone feet at the peninsula's tip, Ci looked to the left and right of them, and Yi kicked a rock into the gap between. Nothing suspicious happened.

"I guess we go in," Ci said.

They did, revealing ankles, forelegs, and, barely visible in the distance, knees. They went on. At the widest spot, just beyond the ankles, they found a sign. A carved stone donkey woman held it. She had a cute, humanoid body and a cute, humanoid face and floppy ears and a tail. The sign, tall and thin, obscured her chest and groin.

Greetings, suitor

My first trial awaits beyond the knees. But first, a good host should show hospitality. Take the stairway down for water, food, and rest. Additionally, please store there all your possessions except clothes and light weapons, additional equipment not being permitted, in exchange for a pair of items you will find useful. If you have brought anyone with you, they may wait below, and I shall inform them of your success or failure. Anyone you fear may desert you I recommend securing in a special storage chamber I've prepared.

Luck,

Spirit of the Cave

Beyond the sign, a stairway descended.

"Cute," Yi remarked.

"Storage chamber?" Ci mumbled.

"Think she's got realistic lips?"

"The spirit?"

"The statue! Of course the spirit's gonna have realistic lips."

"Oh. Well unless my eyes deceive me--"

"The other ones!"

"Hmm... for a human or a donkey?"

"Oh brother! I give up."

"You sure? This could be your big opportunity. Maybe if I lay on my back and scoot my head between her legs, she'll come to life and straddle me, and you can work together to-- hey!" But Yi was already starting down the steps.

"For real, you good?" asked Ci, hurrying behind.

Yi glanced back. "A little horny, but you knew that. Don't worry, I'm fine."

"Cool."

The adventurers followed the stairway to a square room with a gate at the other end. Beyond the gate was a mannequin wearing a pair of shiny metal bracelets, each with three inlaid gems. In the center of the room was an open box. On the lid was a simple drawing of a person placing a bundle of rope inside and closing the lid. Below the drawing ran the text,

Place equipment here --Spirit of the Cave.

A coil of rope from Ci's backpack went first into the box; then, when upon closing the lid nothing happened, a spyglass and a bag of ball bearings; then the whole backpack and both lanterns; then finally, with a chuckle from Yi, a tiny packet of sulfur matches hidden in Ci's boot. As the lid shut, the gate swung open, and the lid refused to move thereafter.