Beetlesmith's

Think about the things that we should have done before.

The way things are going the end is about to fall.

We took the wrong step years ago...

Look around and see the warning close at hand.

Already weeds are writing their scriptures in the sand.

We took the wrong step years ago...

--We took the wrong step years ago

by

Hawkwind

********

The first voice I heard when I came back to consciousness was Jackie's. "This goddamned video is going to make us a fucking fortune. Jerry, please tell me you got it all."

It was then I noticed Jerry, one of the roving cameramen, just behind me with a hand-held. I guess at some point Jackie decided she needed two cameras.

Jerry smiled while giving her a thumbs up.

I was still flat in my back with Lydia on top of me, her sated--for now--pussy still dripped arousal and her own ejaculate onto my chin.

I heard Karen command, "Jackie, I have a pronouncement. Pipe this throughout Wilderness and be sure our satellite clubs can hear it as well."

Jackie ran over to the side of the room and flipped a couple of switches and turned a few dials on a counsel and then pointed at Karen.

Karen's voice reverberated loudly from the speakers and echoed throughout the club in commanding fashion, "This is Vipsania of House Tiberius. To all good citizens of Roman Wilderness and to all our loyal patrons of our clubs from around the world, from this moment forward I now proclaim that Lydia Warren is a newly adopted ward of Tiberius the Great and shall forever be addressed as Domina by one and all. All rights and privileges granted to the upper echelon of the court shall be afforded to her without exception and without compromise.

"Now, everyone, please welcome Domina Lydia as your new mistress."

The whole club erupted in cheering, and a great mingled roar of revelry and acclaim could be heard from every quarter of Wilderness.

By now Lydia had gotten off me and was sitting on her heels at the edge of the bed watching Karen. Cum still covered her face as she openly wept listening to Karen's words and the cheering that accompanied them. Her tears, mingling with my leavings, produced a thick, milky mess that haphazardly fell onto her massive breasts and puddled on the bed at her knees.

Karen said laughingly, "You are such a big, beautiful mess my sweet Sunshine. Someone give Domina a towel."

Before any could be offered, a large assortment of men and women rushed up to Lydia and licked and kissed her face and breasts clean of semen, saliva, mascara, and tears.

Karen placed her hands on both of Lydia's cheeks, and pulling her up to stand with her, she sweetly kissed my new ward on the lips. Karen then removed her purple stola and wrapped Lydia in it, and said, "My gift to you. Purple is the color of royalty, and from now on you shall always wear it. Those of us who love you, welcome you to House Tiberius."

Lydia was crying again.

Karen continued, "I think this demands a procession. Lydia, walk through the club wearing your new stola and show all the citizens Tiberius' newly born ward. Everyone, follow your new Mistress. See to her every whim and pleasure. Make this procession a long remembered one in the annals of Roman Wilderness."

Jackie broke in, excitedly but with obvious disappointment, "Wait! What about your special production? We've got the cameras all set up and everything."

"I've changed my mind," Karen responded, and then said as she patted Jackie's cheek to calm her, "Could you be a dear and leave us for a while. Denise, I'm sorry but could you go with Jackie, too? You too, Slut, but stand outside the door and be ready if I call."

Denise wrapped an arm around Jackie's waist, and said, "Come on Jackie. It seems four's a crowd. Let's take a dip in the pool together. There should be lots of slaves there at this time. I'm in the mood for something young, hard, and refreshing, and definitely more than one."

When she heard the door click closed, Karen sat back down next to Gloria on the settee, and said, "I'm glad to have the Lydia-thorn out of my side."

"You saw it then?" I asked.

She nodded her head, and then added, "I felt a little sad when it happened."

Picking up a towel, I dried my face and hair of Lydia's ejaculate, and said as I nodded in agreement, "I also feel the need to take a shower. Dirty business in more ways than one."

Gloria had learned long ago to ignore Karen and I when we talked in our special code--seeing that we rarely explain ourselves, and if we try to, she doesn't understand, anyway.

"How much do you think mentioning Gregor's change affected her decision?" Karen asked after a long silence.

"Hard to tell; however, added with all the other things that played through her mind when I guilted her without mercy, it probably tipped the balance in our favor." Looking directly at Gloria, I added, "I find it more than coincidental that Gregor didn't see any color tonight, which put everything in motion."

Gloria knew what I meant and reacted quickly to my accusing words, "I didn't do that on purpose!"

"Yes you did, whether you want to admit it or not. You felt like causing havoc tonight and it worked."

Gloria was going to defend her actions, but I continued, "Don't get me wrong. I don't think you were targeting Gregor, specifically. It could have been De Vries or a wandering club member that fell for the bait. And believe me, without color, your lovely ass is most enticing for a randy male when you're hanging from the ceiling. I'm just saying I find it interesting it was Gregor, Lydia's favorite 'swordsman' that fell into your trap."

Gloria didn't say anything at first, and then point an accusing finger of her own, "What did you and Karen have against her? I liked Lydia..."

"So do I," I said quickly, "I didn't treat her the way I did because I disliked her. I had other reasons that I can't explain."

"What about you, Karen?" Gloria asked, "What did you have against her?"

"Like Will, I love Lydia. What I did, I did to help Will. That's all. Besides, you're making it sound like we did something bad."

"I know you and Will too well. There was something more going on than turning Lydia into a Wilderness cock slut. I don't know if the results are bad or your reasons are bad, as you say, but there's something that doesn't seem right between her and you two."

"You're right about that," I confirmed, "There was always something not quite right about her."

Gloria gave me that 'what the fuck does that mean,' look.

I tried to explain, "I don't know why there was something wrong with her. I just had this feeling. So, let's just say I needed her with me...with us...an ally, for want of a better word. I wanted her loyalty to us, body and soul." I looked at Gloria long and hard before ending my thought, "Let it be, now."

Karen asked, "How do you know it really worked? I mean besides that thing...that light, or whatever it was that went bye-bye."

"What light?" Gloria asked, perplexed.

"Never mind," Karen answered, sorry now that she had brought it up by ignoring my request to leave the subject of Lydia alone.

I answered Karen, anyway, "Because that nattering nabob that was in my head is finally gone." Then turning to Gloria, I said quickly and with some irritation, "And if you ask what nabob I'm..."

She threw up her hands, stopping me. She knew it was no use asking further. All she said thereafter was a forlorn, "I really liked her," as if we'd never see Lydia again.

The three of us sat in quiet contemplation for some time. Each of us coming to our own realization of what this past year meant. After a while I added, almost as an afterthought, "Maybe there's an object lesson in Lydia."

Karen's interest spiked, "Such as?"

"That no matter how morally decrepit and debauched we may get, there is still hope for redemption."

"Here we go again," Gloria said quietly and with exasperation.

"You've got to quit doing this. You're scaring us with this...this redemption talk lately," Karen added.

"I don't mean to. I'm just thinking nonsense out loud."

"But that's what worries us. You're thinking these things, and then you spout off at odd times like this. And speaking of oddities, don't get me started on those trances of yours. How long are those going to continue?"

I didn't answer, and I didn't continue explaining the idea of redemption with them, mostly because I thought it only concerned me. However, it was an idea that had been occupying my mind for almost as long as Lydia herself had occupied it.

For a year, I watched Lydia preform every deviant sex act imaginable. She sucked more cock and swallowed more cum than just about anyone at the club. Her love for cock and raunchy sex was insatiable, but through all the multiple orgies, night after lust-filled night, her internal light never dimmed. It was always present, a low burning ember just waiting, I suspect, for the right metaphorical wind to catch it and send it blazing again. I took it to mean that given all her sins--sins committed with a free will--that she could still have been redeemed and used for good by whatever powers could control her.

Could that be my fate, as well? For all that I have done, could I still turn things around and change my 'inevitable' fate and destination if the right wind came along?

It gave me hope.

I said to Karen, "Let's forget about Lydia for now. What's done is done, and we can't change that. Before we get to what's really on your mind, which is the reason you had Gloria stayed behind, why don't you tell me what happened to your special production? I was looking forward to it."

Her face went flush with embarrassment, as she let out a small laugh. "I was thinking about it ever since I asked you in the pleasure grotto, but I couldn't think of anything original, or even good. I figured, how in the fuck could I exhibition for a man who's already seen and done everything? Then, to put the cherry on top of the raunchy sundae, I just saw

that everything

played out in front of me in real time between you and Lydia. So, what's the use? How could anything come close to matching what I just saw, and you just did? So, let's not worry about that, either."

I nodded, thoughtfully, "Okay. Let's put it out of our minds. Now, tell me the real reason why you and Gloria wanted me to stay behind?"

A serious look descended across her face before she spoke. "I need you to answer this for me, and if the answer goes against me, I will respect it because I love you."

The tone of her voice had me befuddled and surprised. Normally, my sixth sense would have tipped me off about things like this, but no longer. Both Karen and Gloria were, indeed, becoming complete blanks to me. I interrupted her, not trying to hide my surprise, "Goes against you? What do you mean? How could I go against you for fuck's sake?"

"Please, Will, just let me get it out first before you ask questions." She paused for a moment, as if mustering all her strength, and then asked, "Which of us do you love? Gloria and I have talked about this, and we need to know. If you love Gloria more than me, I will understand and begin to step away. But when I do, I hope all of us can remain friends and still do things together. If you love her more, I know I'll have to...to give you up. I'll be able to accept this in time, but I need to know. I need time to prepare."

That figures. After a fucking year of orgies, Roman Wilderness, and my monogamous attentions to Gloria, she's questioning my affections for her.

Things were, indeed, moving in the Universe. First, and for months now, dealing with Karen and Gloria's out-of-the-ordinary cattiness with each other. That, combined with Gloria's uncommon sullenness and Karen's unusual indifference to her best friend were surprising and irritating. Then, right out of the blue, after a year of silent longing, Lydia requests a special Jackie production with me. Added to all that: the fighting between members, the breaking of Wilderness' cardinal sin by an outsider, Gregor's mishap, and all of it happening in one night. Things were changing.

Then there was something that I've kept very close to myself, not telling or even hinting at to anyone. For the past couple of weeks my dreams have become more and more violent, the main themes, of which, center around eliminating my perceived enemies in the most ruthless and brutally grotesque manner.

As far as I knew, I had no enemies in my life, but my dreams were polluted with them, scores of them, and I took great pleasuring in hanging them, flaying them, garroting, and beating them to death for even the slightest perceived insult. Worse still, in my dreams all my loved ones, Karen, Gloria, Denise, even Jackie, stood by my side and cheered on my homicidal cruelty. They had become as corrupted by evil as I had.

I kept telling myself that they were only dreams. They didn't even represent some outlandishly twisted, fanciful version of reality. However, if I had been honest with myself, I would have known that the dreams pointed an accusing finger at me, telling me that I had corrupted everyone, even those that I most loved and cherished, and that their destinies were intertwined with my own. But I ignored these warnings, thinking they were only a product of a guilt-ridden, paranoid mind.

Now, thinking of the meaning of Karen's question I can see all the signs. Change was coming. I could feel it as the normal routines of my life were slowly being replaced with uncertainty and chaos.

Looking at Gloria, I asked, "Are you having the same feelings as Karen?"

She nodded her head before answering, "It's not right to Karen that you should be... That maybe you've fallen more in love with me and out of love with Karen...maybe just a little. If so, you should be honest with her."

Looking at them both, I said, "You're not going to like my answer."

"We need to know," they said in unison.

"Before I answer, first tell me where these thoughts are coming from?"

Karen responded, "The question of your love has been on both of our minds because you're treating us differently."

"I thought that might be it. It's funny that you're bringing this up now, after more than a year..."

"We noticed it before. Right from the start," Karen interrupted, "I thought it might be a temporary thing, Gloria being new to the group and obviously in love with you. But now I'm not so sure it's just Gloria."

Gloria started to protest but Karen cut her off, "Oh quit denying it. Everyone knows you're in love with Will, and it's okay. I love you. You love Will."

Gloria interrupted, "Why is this always one-sided with you! I love you too, Karen!"

Karen smiled at her. "Yes, I know you do, but the question is, who does Will love?"

"Both of you," I answered emphatically and without hesitation.

Karen sounded annoyed, "Yes. Yes, of course. I get it. You don't want to sound like you're playing favorites, but deep down inside I can't help but feel you favor Gloria now. Just tell us who you love more."

"More? So whatever scintilla of difference I may feel for one relative to the other is of extreme importance now?" I just shook my head in frustration before explaining, "I had hoped my treatment of you both would go unnoticed because I had good reasons that I really didn't want to explain. They were necessary and had little to do with how much I loved you or Gloria, or that my love is somehow expressed in my actions toward you both. But I can see how you might make the inference that I love you differently from before, or even less.

"I know on one hand Gloria sees that I give you full reign to explore your sexual side. She sees you doing things that she may want to do but can't because I won't let her. Quite rightly, she thinks it's unfair and she resents it. And, of course, that resentment is sometimes directed at you, because I favor you with freedom she can't have.

"On the other hand, you see how I treat Gloria with deference and with restrictions. The kind of restrictions I used to impose on you, but no longer. You interpret that as me making Gloria special, keeping her to myself, as I made you special by keeping you all to myself. Added to that, I now let you fuck whoever you want, and you think it's because I don't care about you as much. So now you think I love Gloria more than you because I'm elevating her to a position where you used to be, as my wife."

"Well, aren't you?" Karen asked, defensively, finding it difficult to hide her hurt feelings.

"You should have performed your special production for me. I was looking forward to it."

"What? Why are you changing the subject?" she asked, frustrated.

"I'm not." I smiled a little at the irony, then continued, "I'm surprised you haven't figured out that one of my greatest joys this past year is watching you pleasure yourself with other men. I know it hasn't always been the case, and maybe that's why you haven't noticed. When all this began with the elixir, I had a problem with you getting pleasure from other men. But I realized my jealousy was hypocritical. I couldn't expect you not to fuck other men while I fucked other women. So, I accepted your nature out of equity and fairness."

"My nature?"

"I know you love me. Emphatically. That cannot be denied. Just like my love for you cannot be denied. However, I also know you like to fuck other men, and in many ways, I think you love playing the slut for me."

Karen smiled slyly upon hearing the truth in my words.

"Once I realized how you love being my personal cock whore, I accepted it all. I've came to learn that there's something about looking into your eyes as we both fuck other partners that... I don't know, it's like we're guiding each other, directing each other, feeding off each other's sexuality and lust, and making it even more erotic and intense than it could ever be on its own. It's a feeling near indescribable for me."

"You're right, I didn't know any of this about you. I thought you just came to terms with it, and...and shifted your desires to..."

"I know, to Gloria. You thought I needed fidelity in a partner... Any partner. Which was why I was making her stay monogamous to me."

"Will, I did say long ago we didn't need to do the group thing. I'd have loved you just the same and would have been happy in our marriage."

"Yes, I remember that, but I don't think you would have been truly happy. Certainly not content. Besides, look at what we would have missed if we had stopped. I don't think we would have come to know each other with the depth and breadth we do now if we hadn't traveled this path together."

Both Karen and Gloria nodded their heads in agreement, knowing that I was right.

I took each of them by the hand and led them to the bed. Kissing them both before sitting between them, I asked Karen, "And now to your first question. Do you remember?"

"Which of us do you love more, and you said we wouldn't like the answer."

I sweetly kissed her lips, and said, "I love you more now than I ever have." Then kissing Gloria, I continued, "But I also love you with equal measure. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want: clear, unambiguous declaration of my love to either of you. I can only give you the truth. I love you both...equally and unconditionally. And if either or you were to stop loving me and stop making love to me, I would still love you with the intensity that I do now." I paused for a moment to let them think on it before continuing, "So, if you do this terrible thing of forcing me to choose who I love more because you need some type of reassurance or closure even though there isn't an answer to give, then I shall leave."

"Leave? W-Where would you go?"

I had just thrown that statement out as a soft threat and without much thought about it until now. All I knew was that I couldn't explain my feelings well enough to get them to stop this questioning, and I wanted them to stop. However, my threat made sense as I thought about it now. After a year of our relationship evolving as it had, the only logical course would be that if I couldn't be with both, I wouldn't stay with either of them. I couldn't see myself living with one and not the other.