"A what?" I said, confused. I looked at Sly while I mentally ran through the possibilities.
"Suckabus, suckabus," he repeated. "Din't you hear me? Don't ya know what a suckabus is?"
I thought for a moment about how to reply. Sly's always been conscious of the difference between his background and mine. He likes to lord it over me any time he feels his street smarts have given him an advantage. On the other hand, though, for a big, cynical, street-tough guy he is pretty thin-skinned when something rubs his nose in the difference between my education and his lack of a formal one. Fortunately, the sting is largely out of it by now. We've been a partnership for quite some time, and we have learned to respect each other as individuals, not just for what we bring to our relationship: sex, on my part; finding clients for me on his. We are both good at what we do.
"Could you mean 'succubus'?"
"Yeah, yeah. Succubus. That what I said, ain't it? So, Princess, let's hear that expensive upstate college degree pay off. What's a succubus?"
He had sprung this on me while I was getting dressed after a satisfying session with a very athletic client on the couch in Sly's apartment. I was a bit tired after that workout and was looking forward to getting home and getting some sleep. I do have a day job, you know. But Sly wanted to talk business.
"Well, in Judeo-Christian mythology and folklore," I said, trying not to lecture, "a succubus is a female demon who appears to men in their sleep and has sex with them to steal their sperm."
"No shit. Why's she want to do that?" Sly asked in wonderment.
"Some folk tales say she needs it to survive. Others say that's where demons get sperm to impregnate other women to make more demons."
"Jesus, Princess. That is really fucked up. Who believes that kind of shit?"
"Well," I said, suppose you're a holy man who's supposed to be godly and celibate, and had always been taught that pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, was a sin in the eyes of God."
We both smiled at the picture of tough, profane Sly in that role.
"Anyway, you wake up in the middle of the night from a wet dream. You figure God's going to be pissed at you for having had such awful thoughts. But wait! It really wasn't your fault. She must have been a succubus. Everybody knows you can't refuse a succubus. So, it's okay."
"Hunh. Pretty convenient."
"Yeah, isn't it, though. Anyway, why'd you bring this up? It's late. Does this have something to do with us? Or to be more specific, with me?"
"Yeah, Princess, it does. I got a guy that's always wanted to meet a succubus. He's into witches and fantasy. Dungeons and Dragons kind of stuff."
"Oh."
"Yeah, you got it, Princess. How'd you like to be a real-life succubus?"