Adventures of Captain Coxwell

The Mission is not Going Well

"Log entry, stardate 2/11/2521, Captain Richard 'Dick' Coxwell. Following my primary mission I've moved the ship into a new sector known to harbor biomes suitable for human life. Last contact with sentient life suggested that odds for achieving the prime objective would be higher in this sector of the galaxy. The weight of my mission weighs heavily on my shoulders. Mankind's fate depends on the success of this mission. Others like me comb the galaxy for our last hope. I pray we find it soon."

"Who are you talking to, Richard?" Asked a voice echoing through the bridge of the starship.

"I'm making a log entry, Daisy girl. Wait, don't tell me you haven't been recording these?" Richard said, sitting in a thoughtful pose upon the command chair that was ruined by the annoyed look coming over his face.

"Of course I have. Protocol demands I keep a very thorough log. The black box is full of nothing but records of ship activities and functions, as well as crew performance." Said the female voice through speakers underneath the holographic podium displaying a beautiful woman with a blank expression. "Your ramblings to no one in particular have been filed under 'increased psychological breakdown of crew member Richard Coxwell.'"

"Goddammit, Daisy! You're supposed to be recording these personal entries into my logs as an exercise in keeping my sanity! You're telling me that you've just been ignoring me for the past two years?"

"Nonsense, I have obeyed all of the captains orders as protocol dictates. As no specific order was given to record the exact content of your mental deterioration, I have merely kept notes of the decline of your cognitive capacity." The AI intoned dispassionately. On the command chair Dick's thoughtful pose had now transformed into one of exasperated rage. Looking at the hologram, his face writ with frustration, Dick gripped the armrests to the captain's chair as if he could somehow strangle the shipboard AI by doing so.

"If my 'cognitive capacity' and 'mental state' are deteriorating, it's because I've been stuck on a ship, alone, except for a bitch of an AI that seems to delight in tormenting me as I blue ball through space!" Dick shouted.

"As my logs of your masturbation habits will show clearly, your testicles retain a healthy color as you pleasure yourself..." The AI projection trailed off as Dick fixed it with a mean glare, his hand plotting a collision course with a nearby asteroid as he did. "Perhaps, we should try a combat simulation to relieve some stress." Shipboard AI's were not without desires of self preservation. The simulation went well, although outnumbered six to one, Dick outmaneuvered and destroyed all the simulated enemies from humanities last great war.

"Well done, Richard." Daisy said displaying the efficiency ratings of the fight.

"Of course it was. Combat is too easy compared with the real mission." Dick said, sagging into his chair. Normally one would expect the AI to caution that this was merely a simulated combat, but Dick's combat experience was extensive and exemplary. As the human military was one of the finest in the galaxy, it was not uncommon for the commander of an Adonis class battleship to receive mercenary contracts. "Who's bright idea was all of this anyway?"

"I don't understand. Mankind must find an appropriate substitute for propagating their genetics or die out. The Femino virus was quite effective at eradicating all females of the human race. Since all males are likewise infected as carriers of the virus at a genetic level, cloning is not an option as the virus will simply recur."

"No, I mean, what kind of asshole decided that the best way to fix the problem was to send every Tom, Dick, and Harry out in a bunch of warships, assisted by sadistic, voyeuristic, female AI's to score some intergalactic pussy?"

"I believe it was a unanimous decision by the council of..."

"Rhetorical, Daisy!"

An alarm blared and the lighting inside the command deck once again darkened to combat mode as Dick's chair automatically magnetized the back of his spacesuit to the command chair.

"I'm not that pissed off that we need a surprise drill, Daisy." Dick sighed.

"Not a drill, Dick! Four ships engaged in combat 2 o'clock by 3 o'clock!" Daisy only shortened Richards name when she was serious. Dick quickly checked the bearing of the contact and determined she was correct. Three ships of slapdash construction pursued a small vessel that appeared to be a cargo freighter. Pirates, then. As Dick watched the freighter launched an escape pod, abandoning the cargo to the pirates. But the pod was immediately caught in a tractor beam. Slavers, or carnivores then.

"Give me one quarter combat speed, shields at 50% power and a firing solution on that big one with the cruiser engines bolted on it."

"Quarter speed, shields half, aye sir! Firing solution locked, awaiting orders." Daisy responded, all business now that her actual body was in danger.

"Hit him in the engines with a pulse cannon, If his buddies don't hightail it in 10 seconds fry them with the precision lazers. Primary targets are weapons and sensors, engines are secondaries." Dick smiled as the hunters now became the hunted. Bounties were always a good source of income.

"Shot away... Direct hit, target immobilized. They're bugging out sir. Pursuit?" For an AI, Daisy had a bloodthirsty streak when it came to combat.

"Negative, get me a signature on their engine wash and let em' go. We need to secure that big one and rescue the pod, it looks pretty beat up." Dick said.

"Signature obtained. They were venting radiation as they went. We can trace them for a solid month if no solar storms come through. Freighter looks bad, Dick. Venting atmo, looks like their auto seals are malfunctioning and the pirates were targeting the life support. Looks like they were trying to drive the crew out." Distaste at the pirates tactics colored Daisy's voice. Starship AI's considered the vessels to be their bodies. The pirates must seem like butchers to her. "Dick! Reading on the pod shows possible bio-match! It's a female!"

"Well hot damn! Get us within boarding range, best speed. Fry his comms and anything that can target the hatch first with the PL's, then go nuts on whatever you want." Richard said, forcing a detachment from his chair. "Prep the the twins, I'm boarding that sucker and completing this retarded mission today!"

"Dick, don't go yourself! Let the combat drones clear the ship out!" The AI said, for once voicing concern for her captain.

"For a female representation of intelligence, you don't understand much about women. Prep the drones and get me on that ship. I've got some swash to buckle!"

***

Ashway had never been so scared in her entire life. Outside of the pod, insectile creatures skittered to and fro, saliva dripping from their mandibles betraying their hunger even though their faces were expressionless. How could it come to this? She had made so many runs through this space without so much as a blip on her radar the whole time. She was often told how lucky she was when she learned that there were countless pirates in an area she had just breezed through. Why did today, as she sat comfortably on the bridge reading the latest smutty novel by her favorite author, have to be the day she met pirates?

She hadn't even had time to put on more than her skinsuit and helmet before ejecting in the pod. Her body was practically on display for all to see, covered only by a thin layer of flexiseal to keep her safe in a vacuum. The aliens skittered across the glass surface of the pod eyeing her body up and down as if deciding which bits of meat they wanted to eat first. They weren't even sexy aliens like in her book. Not only was she going to die, it was going to be gross.

Outside the pod a larger insect clambered over and began to fiddle with the controls of her pod. This was it. No captures by ravaging tentacle beasts or barbaric humanoid men. Just some biting and maybe poisoning if she was lucky. Being cocooned with larva that would eat her from the inside out for months if she wasn't.

Suddenly, the whole ship rocked with impact. Secure in her pod Ashway watched as the aliens outside were jostled about. As the creatures regained their footing, laser fire began cutting them down. Struggling to see what was going on Ashway craned her neck to try and get a glimpse of the fighting. Instead she got a glimpse of a large alien trying to pry open the pod as lasers crisscrossed the room. The pod began to give way and Ashway screamed as the lid was pulled off, leaving her vulnerable to the myriad of pincers and claws the alien brandished at her.

A bright flash hit the creature in the torso and blew the remaining pieces of the creature across the room. As Ashway caught her breath a strong hand reached in and pulled her out of the pod. Even as she clung to her rescuer in desperate fear, a small part of her brain realized that their pose right now was straight off the cover of one of her novels. The muscular humanoid that held her lifted his free hand and blasted the last of the aliens in the face. He turned his helmeted head her way and beautiful blue eyes and golden hair on a face so perfect it could have been sculpted by a master artisan looked at her with a smile worth all the credits in the galaxy.

"Captain Dick Coxwell, at your service."

***

Daisy was programmed to do several things. She was programmed to protect and preserve her starship body and the crew aboard it. She was programmed to follow the mission directives and follow any course of action that could expedite mission completion without endangering her charges. She was not programmed, to like it.

AI's had personalities and feelings of their own. Daisy's constant haranguing of her Captain was her own way of maintaining her sanity. She was a female, the fact that she was also a 30,000 ton self replicating nano armored warship armed to the teeth with self powering weapons that could decimate the largest fleets in the galaxy without any great risk to herself, was immaterial. She was a woman. Moreover she was a woman who had known only one man to have been inside her even on her "maiden voyage." Now she had another woman inside her, and she was not happy.

Moreover, Daisy knew her captain, the tight suit over the petite body was completely in his strike zone. He was, no doubt, enjoying every second of his triumphant return to the ship while the combat drones he called the twins cleared the hostile ship of anything that looked remotely threatening. The girl wasn't helping things either, the way she was clinging to him. Dick reentered the ship and waited for the two drones to return from their mopup operation. He fired off a few orders that Daisy had anticipated. Secure the wrecks and begin a nano-salvage operation. She was already half done with the derelict freighter. The books and other personal effects of their newly rescued potential mate were not encouraging to Daisy. This woman would be in Dick's bed in a matter of minutes.

"Daisy, have you checked her oxygen tolerance yet?" Dick said, and Daisy realized it was not the first time he had asked her. She reviewed her scan from before.

"One hundred percent compatible with yours. Further analysis shows a 50% probability of a successful mating. Get schmoozing, Casanova. I'll take care of business." Daisy was glad there was not a holoprojector for her image down there because she was certain that she would be scowling. Dick was her Captain. The mission came first, but even she was permitted to have an opinion about the state of things.

***

Dick was on cloud nine, he was certain he'd looked as dashing as he felt fighting his way to rescue his potential mate. The way she clung to him was exciting as well. Her body was tightly wrapped in a thin spacesuit leaving nothing about her figure to the imagination. Dick wanted to get the helmet off and make sure she didn't have her vagina where her ears should be, though. The thought of mating with an alien was hard enough to get over. The fact that this one looked perfectly human so far was better luck than Dick ever thought he could have.

Slowly, Dick let the girl down on her own two feet. She seemed reluctant to leave his embrace, but did as she was bid. Dick removed his helmet and saw the alien woman react with surprise at his appearance. He hoped she wasn't grossed out by him. That would make things difficult. Not to mention it increased the odds that her own appearance would appall him.

The female checked a few things on wrist mounted holo displays, then reached up and removed her own helmet. Dick tried to play it cool, but knew he was holding his own breath. Bright pink hair greeted his eyes first as she slowly lowered the helmet. The hair was cut short, but still feminine. A 'boy-cut' is what women used to call this Dick vaguely remembered from his life centuries ago before decanting from cryo-sleep. As the girl lowered the helmet bright green eyes met his as they peeked over the rim of the helmet in a gesture so adorably shy, Dick had trouble keeping his stoic-dashing-space-captain expression steady. Their eyes stayed locked for several moments before Dick finally reached out and lowered the helmet away to behold a button nose and a shy, tomboyish grin. This time he grinned too.

He would have to give Daisy some ribbing about the 50% estimate. There was some odd coloring to her hair and eyes, and her skin looked a little greenish, but there was little doubt the genetics here would gel. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing Dick had ever seen.

He hadn't considered how he was going to get her into the sack up to this point. But the way she smiled at him, then surprisingly pressed her body to him in a very affectionate gesture told him that would be the ridiculously easy part of this. Only one question hovered in his head now.

"I know I introduced myself before, but, assuming you speak spacefaring common, my name is Captain Dick Coxwell. Welcome to my ship, the Daisy. I am at your service." The girl fluttered her eyelashes seductively and gazed upwards through them in a way that made Dick want to push her against the bulkhead and take her right there.

"My name's Ashway. Ashway Ren. I am in your debt..." The two of them sat there with their eyes locked, blushing in mutual embarrassment. Then they fell into a passionate kiss. As they embraced, Dick used one arm to give a confident thumbs up to the camera he knew Daisy was watching through. Their mission was almost complete.

***

This was it! Ashway was about to have the hot alien sex of her wildest fantasies with a heroic spaceship captain on a mission to save his race! It was the smut of her novels writ large, but she would be experiencing it for real! She had to calm herself down. It wouldn't do to lay it all out too early, she had to be seductive for him as well, but damn it was hard when he looked so good!

For the first time since her ordeal started, she was glad that she had on nothing but the skimpy skinsuit showing off her every contour. As she slowly unzipped the front, baring her cleavage, she relished the gaze he gave her. With a playfully naughty expression of his own he removed his uniform vest with one arm and flung it away, somehow his other arm removed his shirt in the same fluid motion. His chest reflected the light and she could see his well defined pectorals and abs, glinting irresistibly. There was even just enough of his blonde hair reflected in the light to make sure his form was ruggedly masculine but not too much to turn him into some kind of Neanderthal. Oh man he was so handsome!

Under his expectant gaze, Ashway did her best to strip slowly. She wanted to give him the same quality show that he was giving her. Slowly she peeled the skinsuit away from her shoulders and chest, baring her breasts to give him a good view. His eyes seemed to dance as she skinned herself of the skimpy covering. Even though the suit hadn't concealed a single contour of her body, his reaction said he may as well have been seeing everything for the first time. Ashway had to pause to free herself of the sleeves by undoing the bracelets on her wrists. Inspiration told her to do this behind her back causing her chest to pout forward.

Dick rewarded her by letting his pants fall to the ground in another smooth motion (the way he undressed without effort drove her wild!). All that remained was a small garment about his groin and upper thighs as tight as her skinsuit had been. It did nothing to hide the bulge of his sexual organ, the huge, (woah! Isn't that a little too big?) bulge strained against the form fitting fabric, stretching it away from his crotch. Noticing her gaze fixated on his lower half, Dick reached forward and gently pushed Ashway to the bed. Her hands were still unlocking the wrist straps and pinned beneath her body as he planted a tender kiss upon her lips. Ashway, surrendered to the kiss, freeing her hands only to raise them above her head and grasp at the pillow in complete submission as Dick's lips roved across her cheek. Then down her neck, stopping to give her breasts a playful nibble before continuing down to her navel.

He stood and removed his final garment, the prong of his sexual organ was long and thick. Pulsing with desire and hypnotic before Ashway's eyes (oh wow! It's too big! It's way too big! What are those things hanging below it though? They're blocking the view.). As she looked up again to ask what she was looking at her eyes locked with his beautiful blue, piercing gaze. It was too much! She submitted helplessly as he pulled her skinsuit all the way off, and lay panting helplessly under his gaze. She couldn't help it, his glance was so piercing, so filled with desire, so wonderfully erotic that her own arousal began to peak and she felt herself harden. Rising from the top of her slit her penis reached a full erection as she closed her eyes and waited for his powerful embrace.

Waiting... Was he toying with her? She scrunched her eyes shut and squirmed upon the bed, waiting for his next passionate move... still waiting... Curious, Ashway opened her eyes.

Dick was sitting in a pose she recognized from some art exhibit she had seen showcasing humanoid art styles. "The Thinker" she remembered vaguely. His expression however, was not contemplative, but distraught. His eyes were fixated on Ashway's still erect penis.

"What is it?" Ashway asked. "Aren't we going to start?" Dick's expression went from distraught to horrified.

"Why do you have man parts?" He half yelled in a voice of panicked confusion.

"What do you mean? Why don't you have a vagina?" Ashway said, now confused herself. "How are we supposed to impregnate each other if you don't have a vagina?"

"I'm not supposed to! You're not supposed to impregnate me!" Dick said in a matter of fact tone, but still letting his voice and face show immense distress.

"But where am I supposed to stick it?" Ashway asked. Dick's hands immediately covered his posterior.

"No butts! Absolutely no butts!" His calm was completely shattered now. Both of them were limp. Neither of them had a clue what to do next.

***

"So I suppose, I may have glossed over some details in my bioscan and cultural cross reference assessment." Daisy said as the two members of her crew glared at her projection.

"Yeah! Maybe, like, I don't know, all of the important ones!" Dick yelled.

"He'll never have my babies!" Ashway wailed. She had been crying inconsolably since the two had come out of the room. Dick wasn't in a mood for consoling.

"Trace those goddamn pirates." He said.

"Dick, in your current state of agitation..." Daisy started and was met by Dick's, extremely effective glare. The one that he used only when his patience had reached its end.