House Rules takes place in the LitRPG world begun in "Bending the Rules" and continued in "Breaking the Rules," and is not affiliated with any other fantasy world (aside from a winking reference here and there). Reading those in order first is recommended for context, but not required. This and future installments are expected to follow Special Events and Expansions, and will most likely be shorter than either of the initial two volumes. No idea what the release schedule will be yet, but I am publishing now to help escape the madness going on out there for the next week or so. Stay sexy, everyone!
"-she's driving me up the wall!" the man was saying.
"She just wants some attention," the sensuous voice of the goddess replied.
It was a voice that had not forgotten that it once belonged to a succubus, even if she was now something more.
"I'm a High Archon for fuck's sake, how am I supposed to give her attention when Faction business demands so much?"
"Such tension. Relax, you'll go gray before your time."
"Easy for you to say, immortal."
"Impudent man. Do I need to toss you in my dungeon, and teach you patience?"
"Do you promise you will, this time? You keep saying-"
"Hah! We'll see. How can I make sure you stay froggy, so that when I say 'jump' you'll do it? I'll just have to keep you guessing."
Masika smirked, listening to the exchange.
"Anyway, I have a guest, so run along and play a game. Eye-fuck tag, let's call it. You see her, and you make eye contact - tag, she's it. She sees you, and gets you to make eye contact - tag, you're it. Whoever's 'it' when you catch each other alone, has to do the work first as you fuck each others' brains out."
"But-"
"That's an order, Nuru."
Masika couldn't stifle the giggle from slipping past her lips as she heard the bard's heavy stomp on his way out of the room. Knowing him, he was just playing it up for the sake of drama.
"Emissary, is that you? What word from Nyala's House?"
She schooled her face back to the stone-faced assassin mask she normally wore by the time she turned the corner into the Sanctuary of Sanaa, the throne room and centerpiece of what was colloquially known as the Orgy Dungeon. This was the private audience chamber, behind the main public audience room where creeps and parasites dwelt.
"Good to see you staying close to your roots," the petite woman replied, seeing several changes since the last time she'd visited. "That poor boy was in over his head. When are you going to get a real High Archon? Far be it from me to tell you your business, of course."
"No offense taken; I could use a little real talk just between us girls, in fact. Call me sentimental, but I'm not ready to let him go yet. You know what that's like."
Masika glared at the winking reference to the curse that Sanaa had placed her under in the course of their best-frenemies relationship, before the then-succubus had taken over the faction as its goddess and was no longer in danger of being utterly destroyed by the High Factions just for being a demon. Masika, then known as Katlego to hide her faction position, had spent days waking from wet dreams with Nuru's face - and cock - embedded deeply into her conscious mind, an obsession not of her own making.
"You could keep him in a lesser position. Bed-warmer. Herald. Court jester. All those together with some kind of fancy title."
"His qualifications are not to the traditional standards, it's true. I think that's part of the charm of it. Feedback from some of the faction applicants have been quite positive on that point. The old timers, not so much, but who cares, they're spoken for already."
This was a show of trust, Masika knew. A goddess revealing her internal strategy to a high-ranking member of a rival faction, not only in competition generally but as a Low Faction to a High Faction officer, was either terribly naive, or particularly shrewd given their strongly adversarial political alignments. Although she wasn't sure the legacy members should be ignored so readily, she said nothing about it. She might exploit some defections herself, in fact.
"I'm sure Samba will be thrilled to hear you poaching on his turf," the thief replied instead.
"Samba can suck my left tit."
Masika burst out laughing. Sanaa grinned, and continued.
"He accepts the outcasts as long as they're convenient to him. He's not going out of his way to make them feel truly desired, I don't care what they say about the old days as his Archons know them. Any comfort to be found in the Spectrum is from the fellow members, not from his unholy benevolence. Otherwise, how do you think Furaha ended up feeling so excluded?"
"I can't speak to that. I don't dally with Low-Faction scum," Masika said, sticking her tongue out.
"Your loss," Sanaa teased, jiggling her hips seductively.
"Well, I'm sure you're quite busy-" Masika started, politely prompting her host to get to the point.
"Oh, there's one more thing. A favor, if you don't mind. I'm aware I still owe you one..."
"Very well, I'm listening."
This, of course, was the real reason the goddess had asked to see her. Or, gave her 'the honor of a private audience,' as the message had read.
"It concerns Gretland. As the House of Nyala has interdicted the territory, you're the best person for me to negotiate with about possibly clearing and repurposing that land."
"I can't say much on Nyala's behalf until I've consulted on some details, but you're welcome to evict the witches at your pleasure, I'm sure," Masika deadpanned.
The standoff with the squatter coven was becoming embarrassingly long, and had been a thorn in the House of Nyala Faction's side for some time, draining prestige - a fact that had boosted other factions' recruitment from nearby Home Town, particularly for Low Factions. Masika's own quests had at times been predominantly concerned with finding some advantage in the situation there, which had led her to Nuru due to his rather unique circumstances at just the right moment.
"I realize that you aren't a welcome figure in Gretland, but I do trust your discretion. Help me establish contact with the occupiers and I believe I can work to both our benefit," the goddess finished.
"You'll need an envoy. Your usual minions will be shot on sight, as will I."
"You may recruit among my Faction as you see fit."
"How's your newest Blackguard faring these days? Staying busy?"
"Dayo is proving an excellent investment, yes."
"Good. See that... 'they' stay that way. I don't want... 'them' interfering."
"...oh, you are clever. But, take heed of these words."
"Yes?"
"If my cook comes to harm, I will consider my debts to you cancelled. And I will not stop my angel of death from exacting 'their' vengeance on you."
"I assumed as much."
"So long as we understand one another. Now, I must see to other business. Git good."
"Been there, done that."
"Git GOAT, then! Like me!"
Masika snatched the quest scroll tossed to her and rolled her eyes as Goddess Sanaa trailed laughter on her way out of the room to the main audience chamber, where someone was having an exceptionally bad day.
*****
