About an hour after the explosion our recreation officer gave me a list of the living and the dead; George was among the living. I asked Louis where he was. Our recreation officer told me he was in his cabin. After looking over the list I dismissed Louis with an order to find an appropriate movie or some other suitable program to put on over stations four and six of our onboard television stations. I wanted station two left off air in case I needed it.
As he was leaving the bridge Chantelle Dawn sent me a short text message over my cell TV-phone; she and Anthony had finished their detailed inspection of the damage to the spaceship.
I thought about calling her back but I didn't want those on the bridge to hear my conversation with her. I wanted to meet with her in private in case the damage to the spaceship was more extensive than I had anticipated. If it was then I would give the crew only the bad news they needed to know; I didn't want to alarm them any more than necessary.
I sent a text message to her to meet me in my cabin.
I looked around the bridge. Juan was at the helm closely watching the monitor in front of him. Natalie Amiee, sitting behind him, was typing something in on the computer. Behind her, Elizabeth Dee was just sitting at the engineer's station. Both she and Victoria Rose, sitting behind me, were watching me intently. The three remaining seats in the rear were occupied only by the ghosts of the dead.
"Vickie, I'm going to my cabin for a few minutes, if anyone needs me call me over my cell TV-phone. Juan, maintain present course and speed. I'll give you a course correction later, after Aleks gives me one. Beth, Natalie, the two of you just stay at your stations."
As I entered the lower flight deck everyone's eyes focused on me; they all expected me to say something. I paused at the top of the stairs leading to the elevator room, "Joseph, I'm going to my cabin for a few minutes; you're in charge. If George shows up call me on my cell TV-phone immediately. I've put Juan in charge of the helm until I return. Joshua will you accompany me. The rest of y'all remain at your stations for now."
Chantelle and her first security officer were waiting for me outside my berth when we got there. I told Anthony to return to his station next to the brig.
As soon as the hatch slid close, "Chantelle, Butler is dead along with about half of our crew. I'll give you a copy of the list later."
I saw the look of sympathy for me on her face; my lesbian lover knows how I feel about Butler. But I didn't have time for her empathy just now, maybe later. I waved her off with a diminutive shake of my head.
I turned to our flight officer, "Joshua, you're second in command as of now. I'll inform the rest of the crew later."
"Thank you," he answered me. "I wish it were under better circumstances. What about George? You know he's . . ."
"Fuck George! I'll deal with him later myself. Right now I need someone who is qualified to help me fly the James Cook and that person is you." Then in a much calmer voice I said, "Besides, he only outranks you by a couple of months. Under the present circumstances I'm sure UNESA would want someone with flight experience as second in command."
I paused and took a breath. "Before we get to your damage report Chantelle I want to inform you both that I'm going to start a journal of everything that has happened."
"Isn't that what the ship's log is for?" Joshua asked.
"The ship's log is the official journal. I want mine to be an unofficial record of what has happened under my command. Butler had an unofficial journal and he advised me to keep one if I ever got command of a spaceship. He said that such a record would come in handy if I ever went before a review board on how I managed a spaceship."
"What about UNESA, don't they frown on things like personal logs?" Chantelle asked.
"I'm not worried about that. I'm sure UNESA is going to meticulously examine everything that has happened onboard the James Cook over the last several days. They're going to interview survivors, go over the ship's log, study what's left of the James Cook and that sort of thing."
I paused to let the information sink in. Then, "I'm also sure that they're going to hang someone out to dry too. It will probably be Butler. He's dead and won't be able to defend himself."
"That's the way things are done. Blame the weak and defenseless," Joshua added.
I continued, "I can't help Butler; his life is over. But I can defend myself and my crew. I won't allow any of us to be made a scapegoat. With my journal, I'm going to do my best to make sure none of us are going to get crucified by some whitewash review board seeking to cover-up design flaws in the James Cook."
"You know they're going to try to exonerate the construction companies," Joshua bitterly interjected.
"And the politicians for allowing them to do so," I added.
Chantelle asked, "Do you think you'll have enough time to keep a personal log, with running the James Cook and everything?"
"Unlike the ship's log, my journal won't be a daily record. I don't have enough free time to record in it everyday. I will enter information in it whenever I have the opportunity and any information I believe to be significant."
"How is your record going to be different than the official ship's log?" Chantelle inquired.
"Much of what I put there will be an elaboration of the James Cook's log and will be able to be verified through the official record. For the most part, this will be facts that wouldn't normally be entered in a ship's log but should be able to be confirmed by questioning the members of the crew."
"Sounds OK by me," Joshua said.