Chapter 21: Arion
I woke up in Hera's bed with her naked body pushing into my side. This is a dangerous thing to do to a man with a piss fat as she found out when I turned her over and ploughed into her without as much as a tweak of a nipple or a rub of her twat. She didn't need it, she was dripping wet.
"Why is it we always start our fucks with a violent grab and no foreplay?" I asked over breakfast.
"I don't know exactly, it is just when I touch your body I have this overwhelming need to have you inside me."
"You didn't show much of it yesterday when you and Demeter held me down so Hestia could give me a hand job."
"Oh, but you are so wrong. It drove me crazy. For hours afterwards I was running around in circles not knowing what to do. In the end I just abducted you."
"I don't understand you Gods. You are above us all, you don't need sleep, you don't need to eat or drink, you don't need sex and yet you are the horniest, pisspot, gluttons I've ever met. This Oympus is worse than Peyton Place."
"What you don't understand is that we are as human as you, we just have an extra dimension. When we tap into our human side we are human with all the beauty and flaws of humanity that implies. We don't need to eat or drink, true. If we do, we need to go to the toilet and get pissed like everyone else. You've seen me drunk and horny and asleep. Throughout all of this I was still Hera, the supreme Goddess with enormous powers. I just chose to indulge in my human side. The Gods did not create the universe, even though some of us claim credit. We are not creators, we are administrators. I should know. I have been around long enough."
"Then why indulge in human pursuits, with all the troubles that go with it?"
"Believe me, being God is boring, being human is much more fun. But enough of that. You must go to work now, your destiny awaits you. Call me when you want me."
"How do I do that?"
"Use Demeter's charm. In case you don't already know, the three of us come as a package. Think of us as a trinity. You deal with one of us, you deal with all, whether you are aware of it or not. The men are the same, when you deal with Zeus, you deal with Poseidon and Hades. Now go, before I bed you again."
Hera put her arms around me and kissed my cheek, the next minute I was standing in Bruce's backyard.
The whole gang was there as usual at that time of day. They all stared at me and burst out laughing.
"Whose bed did you get tossed out of?" said Bruce amongst gales of laughter. That's when I realised I was bullock naked. That bitch Hera had sent me here without clothes.
Marge was being a proper little shit. Instead of hexing some clothes onto me, which she could have easily done, she went into the house, got some of Bruce's clothes and put them on the far end of the table. I had to walk around the whole group to get to them and get dressed in front of everybody. They were still howling with laughter.
Having provided the entertainment for the day, I sat down and had some of the ever present beer. I needed it.
Eventually everyone settled down, disappointed because I would not tell them where I'd been. I wanted to know how the technogeeks were getting on with the computer interfacing. Gadeirus told me that they had managed to contact the AI of the system and were getting help. The interface was completed but hadn't been tested yet. That was today's job.
We went to the complex together. Gadeirus was using a terminal in the workshop, rather than one upstairs in the control centre.
"This is a maintenance terminal," he explained to me. "From here we can test things without affecting the system. The AI reckons we are ready to connect my tablet. I am having the jitters."
"Why would you have the jitters Gadeirus? Don't you trust the AI?"
"The problem is, I have only that one tablet. If the tablet gets destroyed in the process we are left with nothing. And yet, connect it I must if I want to hand the data over to the AI so we can communicate in English."
"Didn't you tell me that you have managed to connect the tablet to Earth type computers so it could use the internet?"
He nodded.
"Connect the AI to Darrin's computer. If that blows up we simply get another one until you get it right. When you are satisfied that everything works, have the AI access your tablet via Darrin's computer. I realise that this introduces a bottleneck with the digital interfaces but after a short while your AI should have enough data to access the tablet directly and safely."
Gadeirus looked at me in astonishment.
"I knew there was a reason you are the boss and we are the shit-kickers. That's it! No doubt this is the way to go. Never occurred to me. I'll get onto it right away. Thanks.".
I went to see Vulcan. He was busy in the big metal workshop with its lathes, milling machines and casting equipment.
"Sit down Alec," he greeted me, "have a beer, I need a break anyway, my leg is giving me pepper."
"Hang on a sec," I said, went to the power spot and teleported home. I got some Tiger Balm from my cupboard, the stuff I use when I have muscle pain.
"Here, try this. Rub it into you leg and see if it helps," I said when I returned, handing him the jar with the red salve.
I could see he wasn't really keen but he tried it anyway. He had probably been given a lot of stuff over the centuries that did nothing. After a few moments his features relaxed.
"This stuff is good," he said, "It doesn't rid me of the pain, but it sure takes the cutting edge off it. Thank you. Now I am fit enough to go home and shoe a horse."
"That's something I haven't done for a long time, can I come with you?"
"You know how to shoe a horse?" Vulcan seemed surprised.
"This is how I got into engineering," I explained. "I grew up in a small rural town. Down the street from us was a blacksmith. I liked the old man. Like you, he had a bad leg and couldn't get around as well as he wanted. After school I ran little errands for him, got him his groceries, his laundry and things. I got to hold stuff for him when two hands weren't enough, that sort of thing. I was only a kid, but a strong lad for my age, so after a while he started teaching me things like knocking a piece of steel into the shape you wanted, how to harden and weld and how to shoe horses. There were still a lot of working horses in those days, so there were one or two every day that needed doing.
"He didn't like factory made shoes, he made his own. While he was doing that, I talked to the horses, took their old shoes off and prepared the hoofs for shoeing. The old man would then hot seat them and nail them in. I loved it all, even the acrid smell when the hot shoe hit the hoof and made it smoke. When I graduated from High School I went to study engineering. The old man died during my first semester. No one told me, I could not even go to his funeral. There are no blacksmiths in town any more, no more working horses either. I miss them."
"Shall we go then?" I had a feeling Vulcan was eager to find out if I had been bullshitting."
"Just a sec," I said, went over to where Bruce was working and asked him to whip up some cube sugar for me.
"What do you want cube sugar for?" he asked, shaking his head.
"Vulcan and I are off to shoe a horse."
"That's one way to keep a horse happy," he grinned and gave me enough to fill my pocket.
I went back to Vulcan and he took me to his place. Vulcan's forge. A place where few mortals have ever been. It didn't look much different from the blacksmith's shops I had known. The Forge was a fairly modern forge with an electric blower.
"I thought you used a small volcano for a forge." I said.
"No," he said, "pissed that off long ago. The thing stank too much and was blowing sulphur fumes where I didn't want them. This is better."
The usual pliers, tongs and hammers hung on the wall, an anvil, nothing I had not seen before and all the bits and pieces that belong in there including the pissbucket in the corner.
"Bet you don't know what this is for," said Vulcan pointing to the bucket.
"Sure do," I said, "the old man had one of these. Got us all to piss in it. He said that nothing will put a harder edge on a chisel than tempering it in piss.'
"I think I would have liked the old man," said Vulcan.
We heard a bit of a pop and there was this magnificent stallion before us. No other horse I knew of had a green mane, it had to be Arion, Demeter's son, Vulcan's cousin.
"Aren't you a beautiful boy?" I said, stepping up to him, stroking his neck softly and offering him some sugar with my other hand. Arion took the sugar gently and hardly moved as I went around him, stroking his hide and telling him what a well built fellow he was. Once I had made my round I gave him some more sugar.
"You seem to get on with horses, now lets see what you can do." Vulcan tossed me a leather bag with farrier tools. I picked up one of the leather aprons that were hanging on the wall, donned it, grabbed the bag and went to start on Arion's right back hoof.
I took off the old shoe and got rid of the nails. Next, I carefully cleaned and trimmed the hoof, being very gentle around the frog, where a horse is very sensitive, That done I proceeded to plane the sole at the correct angle using a rasp. While I was doing this I told Arion the story of Cinderella. The old man had written this version and inserted little songs. If you did it right, by the time the story was over, the horse was ready for the shoes. Horses loved it.
Vulcan watched me closely as I did the first hoof, then nodded his approval and went to make the shoes. As I worked my way around the horse Arion stood like a statue, listening to every word I said.
