This is a multi-chapter work. Please start the adventure with Part 1. I will assume you know what's going on and won't tolerate comments from those who can't be bothered to start at the beginning.
~~~
"We ... uh ..." Liss began.
"I'm sorry," I told Kuss. "That's my fault."
"Not entirely," she said, glaring angrily at her mother.
"Your phone works too, my dear," Liss retorted.
"I shouldn't have to call to ..." Kuss began.
"Any other time you would have," her mother growled.
"Only because you throw guilt at me if I don't," her daughter spat back.
I decided they didn't need me for this. I picked up a tub of ore and started for the cottage.
"Where are you going?" they both asked, in unison.
I turned to look at them, still holding the crate.
I looked back and forth between them and said, "I need to check with the boss to see if refereeing family battles is part of my job description. I thought I'd carry something inside while I was going in to ask him."
Both women huffed at me - and then turned to glare at each other again. I left them to it.
Xill looked surprised to see me. The tub I'd grabbed was full of silver ore and his eyes lit up. He followed me back out to see what else we'd gotten for him. The women were circling each other with their heads slightly lowered - like two bucks competing for a doe in rut.
Xill stopped in his tracks, looked at me, and stood, eyeing the combatants. I peeked into my storage items, found a couple bottles of cold mead, pulled them out, bumped one against Xill's shoulder, and sat down on one of the tubs. He found a seat as well. He held his bottle up. I clinked mine against his and took a healthy swig of my tasty, chilled beverage.
At the sound of the glass bottles hitting each other, the girls turned on us.
"What are you doing?" Liss growled.
"Waiting for you two to knock this shit off so you can fix me a sandwich," I told her matter-of-factly.
The flames started within her irises, moved to her face, then her hair ignited, and the dragon was released in its full form.
I set my bottle on the storage-tub and leapt at her - arms open wide to tackle her.
In the seconds it took me to cover the ten or so feet between the two of us, her expression went from fury, to incredulity, to concern, and then fear. She wasn't afraid of what I could do to her. She realized that I wasn't wearing anything that was going to protect me from her fiery-form.
My clothing had begun to smolder and my face had started to hurt by the time she abruptly dismissed the spell. I wrapped her in my arms, rolled to my right, and tumbled across the lawn, holding her.
"Are you mad?!" she howled.
I thought about all of the retorts I could come back with. I thought about how the conversation would go. I thought about how much longer the fight would continue and how much time would be wasted.
I went with a kiss. I pressed my lips, softly, to hers and looked into her eyes, pouring my soul into her.
I was lying on the ground, slightly disarrayed from rolling and sliding across the grass. My face hurt and my clothes smelled of smoke.
I looked into her eyes, smiled, and said, "You know you're adorable when you're pissed off?"
Her eyes were still burning. I gave her another peck and another smile.
"You have blisters on your face," she said, finally, glaring at me.
"Probably from my girlfriend," I said, smirking. "She's totally hot!"
"You're incorrigible," she sighed, finally smiling.
"So," I asked her, "can I get that sandwich now?"
The growl started in her abdomen but I interrupted her spellcasting by kissing the air out of her lungs. I persisted until she gave up struggling and kissed me back.
"Gods," I told her, "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
A bark of laughter exploded from the fiery little gnome beauty that I was holding in my arms.
Her eyes found her daughter and she said, "I take it back. You're right. He's dim-witted and reckless - and he makes poor life-choices."
"Hey, now!" I objected fiercely. "You're one of those life-choices."
She growled, took my face in her hands, and kissed me harder.
After the kiss, she got to her feet, pulled me up, brushed me off, took my hand, and led me to her daughter.
"My love, would you kindly heal my dim-witted husband? He's starving and I need to go make him a sandwich."
"What she means," I told Kuss," is that we're sorry for not calling you. We had a ton of fun together, the Prius will likely need to be professionally cleaned to get rid of the stains and smells, and we were nearly killed several times but we missed you terribly and we're super happy to be back. Can we go to Ren Faire and get a turkey leg?"
As intended, Kuss was speechless.
Xill's belch interrupted the moment.
"So," he asked his wife, "were you and the dragon too busy fighting for you to tell her that you're pregnant?"
Kuss spun on him, her face a mixture of anger, shock, and embarrassment. "How could you?" she bellowed.
"The boy's a bad influence," Xill said, nodding at me. "We should terminate the contract and send him away." Smiling at me, he slid the empty bottle into a pouch on his tool-belt, picked up the tub of ore he'd been sitting on, and said, "A little help?"
I scooped Kuss into my arms and spun her around, grinning like a mad-man. She squealed and told me to put her down.
"Only if you promise to get your ass in the kitchen and make that hard-working man a sandwich," I told her.
She pounded her fists against my chest while screaming and yelling at me.
I waited until the bulk of her rage had vented and hugged her tightly.
