A Centaur's Troubles

As night fell, Christoph looked to the horizon behind him, one he could never go to again, and was discomforted by the bright orange glow he saw there. He hoped the farm was okay and the glow was just from torches. The people of Plowman's Rest loved a good lynching, like any criminally tiny village with nothing better to do should, but they were usually reasonable folks. When they realized that Christoph wasn't there, they'd go home. Probably. Hopefully.

Best not to think about it.

Better to think on how he was going to set up camp for the night. This proved to be a very interesting challenge, as the ground was incredibly far away from his hands, not to mention that his tinderbox wasn't in his rucksack, which meant that if the twins had remembered to pack it at all, it was in the packsaddle. The packsaddle that was on his equine back.

He sighed.

In a small clearing just off the road, behind a convenient screen of trees, he carefully laid himself down and started reaching around, feeling through the various pouches he could reach with his fingertips, searching for a hard corner or a at least a flat plane... Nothing.

"Damn it," he muttered, rolling over onto his side and reaching for the strap that held the packsaddle to his back, grunting as it released and the whole contrivance dropped to the ground. "This is undignified," he grumbled to himself as he rolled around, shifting where he lay on the ground until he could see the packsaddle on the ground. He was sure he looked absolutely ridiculous wriggling around like that.

"Okay, got that," he said as he finally fished the tinderbox out and climbed back to his hooves, trotting off into the trees for firewood and kindling. In less than an hour, he had a lovely little blaze going in the center of the clearing, not afraid of being seen. He'd never once heard of bandits in the lands around Plowman's Rest, and he'd gone far enough during the day that he doubted the townsfolk would chase him this far out.

So that left him laying on his side next to a fire, warming a piece of cheese and a hunk of bread on a dented tin plate.

"Travelling sucks," he grumbled, staring into the flames, incredibly bored.

*~*~*

Several days later and Christoph was only reassured that travelling did, indeed, suck. He was lonely, he was bored, and as much as he loved being able to gallop down the road like his tail was on fire, there was only so long a body could run before he got winded, and it wouldn't do to pull a muscle in a body he barely understood.

Where would he even go if he did get hurt?

A horse doctor? A human healer? That was an uncomfortable train of thought, so he abandoned it.

Luckily, he didn't have to wait too long before finding something else to occupy his mind.

It was easily the strangest thing he'd ever seen. It looked like a barrel made of copper resting sideways on a set of six metal spider legs, with portions cut away and pipes sticking out of it. Strangest of all were the wide hips and short legs sticking out of a hole near the back, booted feet kicking this way and that as loud, tinny swearing getting louder as he approached.

"Fucking sack of kavanug corut! I spit on your ancestors! Hell I built your ancestors, so I know they were crap! Stupid fucking Headman throwing me out without any spare parts..."

"Excuse me?"

The legs jerked in the air and something heavy hit something metal very hard, resulting in a high-pitched gonnnnnng ringing out, along with more colorful swears that Christoph didn't fully understand.

"Fuck, who's there!?" the voice said eventually, after a lot of apparently fruitless banging around.

"Uh, my name's Christoph," he said when the voice gave him a moment to respond. "Do you need some help?"

"That depends, 'Christoph,'" the voice said sarcastically. "What do you know about steampowered engineering?"

"Nothing..."

"Boilers?"

"No."

"Clockwork?"

"You wind it?"

"Then fuck off, you dumb hick!"

"Alrighty then," the centaur huffed, trying to be mature but pouting anyway as he turned and started to clop away.

"Wait!"

He stopped and turned, not that the speaker could see him looking.

"... Can you pull me out? I think I'm stuck."

"Oh golly gee, I dunno," Christoph said, moving closer and putting on his best 'dumb hick' voice. "Do ya think I c'n manage such a com-plex undertakin'? I think I just might be too much of a hick ta help ya out, here!"

"Oh for fucks sake, I'm sorry, okay? Now just grab me and pull!"

"Fine, fine," he muttered, leaning his spear against the side of the strange object and gripping those wide hips with both hands, getting an eyeful of a round ass straining against a pair of blue-gray pants.

"Enjoying the view, jackass?"

"Sorry!" Christoph let out a nervous laugh when he realized just how long he'd been staring and holding those hips, straightening up and pulling their owner free with almost no effort. "There we go, nice and- Shit!"

In his hands was a small woman. Not a little girl, she was far too curvy for that, straining her coveralls with her buxom figure, but that wasn't the surprising part. What surprised him was that her skin was emerald green and her hair was cobalt blue.

"A fucking goblin!?" he sputtered, dropping her unceremoniously into the dirt.

"Oh that's real nice," she sneered up at him, not even flinching as he snatched up his spear, the tip quivering less than a foot from her face. "Ooo, yeah, scary goblin girl here to eat your babies and fuck your goat."

"Do... Do you not?"

She stared at him for a good thirty seconds.

"You have got to be the dumbest fucker I've ever met, and I've met humans, so take that."

"Hey, I am a human..." Slowly, Christoph lifted his spear until he had the but resting in the dirt. He'd heard all about goblins, everyone had. Nasty little monsters who ate babies and caused mischief and killed people in their sleep. Except this one... Was clearly just trying to get her stuff fixed and be on her way. She seemed intelligent, outright sassy in fact.

"Last I checked, humans didn't have most of a horse for an ass, ya dumb fuck," she seethed, picking herself up.

Lacking a decent response, he just leaned on his spear and tried to process what he was looking at. She was a goblin, that much was established, but she had more than just verdant skin and cobalt pigtails to distinguish her species. She also had some very sharp teeth she happened to be baring, complete with a couple of really big ones that protruded from her lower jaw, probably giving her something of an underbite when her mouth was closed; as well as big pointy ears sticking out from the sides of her head with an upward tilt.

He had never heard of goblin females, as most scary stories about them tended not to mention gender, but he doubted that she would be a typical example. Reason being, she looked like someone had stuffed a pair of watermelons down the front of her jumpsuit, straining it to the point that the zipper in the front could go no higher than her trim waist, green cleavage threatening to spill her tits out through the opening.

The only thing claiming she wasn't naked underneath was a white band straining across the lower half of her chest, proving she was wearing some kind of shirt beneath the jumpsuit.

"You gonna keep starin', fucknuts?"

"Sorry, I've, um, never met a goblin before..." he said lamely.

"No shit," she said with a sigh as she turned back to her steel construction, aiming a kick at it. "Piece of shit."

They both jumped in surprise when a wet gurgle echoed through the upright pipes, followed by a loud bang that belched a cloud of black smoke through those selfsame pipes.

"Like I said," the goblin sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Piece. Of. Shit."

"So... Still sure I can't help?" Christoph said, watching the smoke slowly dissipate into the air.

"Shut up," the goblin grumbled, also watching the black cloud expand up into the air and fade away.

"Just saying... I should apologize for how I reacted to you before," he continued. He may have been raised with small town small-mindedness, but he thought of himself as better than that, so he was going to push himself out of his comfort zone and be a gentleman.

To a goblin.

Wow.

"So, I figured I could go with you, to wherever you're going. Or at least part way."

"Do you even know where I'm going?" she asked as he turned to look at her, her arms crossing under her ludicrous bust.

"That way?" he asked, pointing down the road in the direction he had been heading.

"Well yeah but-"

"Good enough for me since I don't actually have a destination in mind beyond, 'anywhere but Plowman's Rest.'"

"What happened in Plowman's Rest?"

"I happened in Plowman's Rest."

There was a moment where she just looked at him, scanning him up and down before shaking her head and walking away, stepping around her contraption and away from the road.

Christoph took that as a dismissal and shrugged before turning to head down the road.

"Where the fuck are you going?"

His head snapped back around to see the Goblin glaring at him from the other side of her peculiar conveyance.

"At least let me break my camp, ya four-legged fucknut," she said with a somewhat softer glare before walking away again.

This time, Christoph followed, and found himself in the midst of tiny, tidy chaos. Her camp consisted of clearly marked sections, the interiors of which were an absolute mess of miniaturized items, save for one. Mechanical parts were neatly ordered by size on a clean tarpaulin next to her machine, and her sleeping area was next to that, and it was there the chaos began.

Rather than let his gaze linger in the camp itself, he chose to watch the goblin as she cleaned and packed everything away with a speed and practised ease that told him she must have had some kind of system, even if he couldn't see it.

"So how did you 'happen' to some dinky little village, anyway?" she asked without looking up.

"I dug up a weird little statue and broke it on accident," he answered with a shrug. "Then I, uh, never needed to ride a horse again."

This got her to stop and actually look at him again, her eyebrows hiding near her hairline.

"So you weren't always a centaur?"

"I did say I was human, up until a week ago at least. And wouldn't you know it, but my town apparently has its fair share of folks who are just so damn curious about centaurs!"

"How do you mean?"

"Lets just say that in the first two days I've had a barrel, I've had three people under it."

"Ah." She opened her mouth as if to say something more, but snapped it shut and abruptly turned around, resuming her packing with vigor.

"What?"

"Nothing! Just... Wonderifit'sallproportionalisall."

"Uh... Come again?"

"Look, you got your curse and I got mine!" she shouted, speedy-yet-orderly packing shifting into just stuffing things into her bags as she resolutely refused to look at him. With the size of her ears though, Christoph could see the dark green blush that was creeping up the tips, even from the other side of the camp.

"And... What curse is that?" he asked, carefully picking his way across the camp to stand behind her.

"I don't wanna talk about it," she sniffed, calming herself down as she moved on to the next section, grabbing another bag for it.

"Well, I mean I won't push or anything," Christoph said when it was clear she wasn't about to change her mind. "But now you've got me curious."

"Well it doesn't matter," she huffed. "I'm finding a wizard and getting it lifted quick as I can."

"Hey that's not a bad idea," he said, feeling like an idiot for not thinking of it before. "I guess that means we'll be travelling all the way together!"

"If you like." Her motions slowed, apparently lost in thought.

"So, my name's Christoph," he said to fill the silence, repeating himself from earlier.

"Krank," she replied, heaving a sigh and dropping the half-packed bag before turning to face him and sitting on top of it. "You shared yours, I might as well share mine..."

She went quiet after that, squirming in her boots, wringing her hands and staring at the ground. Time went by, but Christoph wasn't about to rush what was clearly an embarrassing topic.

"This... This travelling couple came through my town two months back," she started suddenly, almost startling him into dropping his spear. "A pair of humans. The fella was real cute, see? So I figured, hey, I'll try my luck! 'Cuz goblins is real casual, yeah? Anyway, he seems to like me, and I certainly like him well enough, so I invite him into my shop to, ah, 'peruse my wares' and such. Next day his woman damn near kicks down the door while I'm workin', points a finger at me and says-"

Here, the little goblin takes on a screechy tone, pointing at Christoph with a finger crooked like a claw.

"'Harrrrrlot! So desperate for a big cock, eh? Fine! From now on, you will always crave bigger! More and more until you're desperate for horses!' and then this bolt of pink lightning shoots out of her finger and hurls my ass into a wall. By the time I wake up, humans are gone and I'm thinking I had some kinda crazy stress-dream from over working, wouldn't be the first time..."

She trailed off, her cheeks even darker as she gathered herself for the next part.

"Next time I feel the need, I find a local boy and have my fun, but it ain't enough. So I go home and bust out a toy to top off, but it feels so damn small to me. So I make a bigger toy, takes a damn hour but I'm desperate, and it does the trick. Next day I barely feel it. It goes on and on, for a straight week until I decide I'm just gonna abstain, let everything calm down, acclimatize to nothing so that what I got feels big again... I manage to hold off for a month before trying again, but nothing. I go a little crazy just trying to feel something down there, next thing I know I'm on a fence post, squirting with the biggest, most mind-melting orgasm I've ever had, and the Headman is yelling at me. It ain't 'til an hour after I get down that he swings by again and tells me I was riding that fence post outside of his house, and as casual as goblins are there's still a limit so I have to leave. He's kind enough to let me know I can come back when the curse is lifted and that's my story."

The silence that grows between them is more contemplative than awkward, this time.

"A... fence post?"

"Shut up, It was a dick-shaped fence post," she grumbled, throwing herself back into packing.

"How big of a fence post?"

"I said shut up, pony boy!"

"Because goblins wouldn't need very big fences..."

"Do you not know what shut up means?"

"And the curse did say it would stop at horses..."

"And what's that supposed... To..."

There was a moment where neither of them spoke, him looking at her, her gaze slowly sliding from an embarrassed look at her feet over the ground until it slipped beneath him.

"'Desperate for horses'..." she recalled softly, a blue tongue snaking out over her lips. Within a moment she was on her feet, yanking the zipper down her front, peeling her coveralls off of her curves, falling over when she forgot about her boots. Soon, they're off, the jumpsuit's off, the undershirt's off, and her panties are off, an object as thick as his wrist wrapped in fine blue silk dropped out of her dripping cunt, all so fast that Christoph didn't have time to really process the details before she was moving under him and out of sight. She hadn't even needed to crouch.

"Show me the goods, pony boy," she almost purred, tiny hands fondling his swollen sack, holding one of those enormous balls in each hand. "Lemme see if you got what I need!"

It didn't take long at all before he started responding, sheath straining around his swelling stallionhood until it gave way at last.

Krank let out a gasp as she watched his cock spill forth, more and more just pouring out until it hung limp, flared head swinging around the height of his knees, at least until it smacked the goblin across the face.

"Fuck!" she cried out, laughing as she shifted her hands from his weighty sack to just past the ridge of the flare, her fingertips not even touching as she started to stroke. "Excited, ain'tcha? But I've ogled enough horses in the past few weeks to know you've got more to show me!"

And show more he did, letting out a low groan as he leaned on his spear, his grip on the haft making it creak as he felt her hands start to stroke along his swelling shaft.

Half-stiff, her fingertips couldn't touch. As it grew, they just got further and further apart with every thudding heartbeat.

"Oooohohoho yes!" she practically moaned as the tip of his shaft slowly rose higher and higher, until it was so high over her head she had to stretch her arms up just to keep stroking. "Such a nice big toy, and allllll for Krank~!"

Even though he couldn't see her, Christoph could see a problem with the situation.

"Uh, Krank?"

"What?" she growled, clearly upset over being interrupted.

"How are we gonna get it in?"

"..."

"Krank?"

"FUCK!"

The little sizequeen released his twitching shaft, letting it smack into his belly and making him jump before she stomped out from under him and started looking around, fists resting on her broad hips as she surveyed the area.

"Ah-ha!" she crowed, sprinting over and scrambling up onto her broken-down spider machine, mounting it with her hands and feet, impossibly round ass waving back and forth, dark blue folds peeking out from between emerald thighs as she looked over her shoulder at him, face dripping with his precum. "This a good height, stud?"

"Yeah, I think that'll do the trick!" he answered, already tossing his spear aside and cantering over to her, mounting the strange vehicle just as she had, though he kept his hind legs on the ground. "You're gonna have to guide me in, though."

"Just hold still, handsome..." Krank's reply was low, eager, and Christoph felt it was directed more at his dick than at him, but before he could say anything, her hand was back on his heated horseflesh, gripping just past the flare and holding him still. "Now, I got small hands, so I can't grip it too good at this angle, so just... Take it slow."

"Right," he breathed, gripping onto the exhaust pipes of Krank's machine and slowly, almost painfully so, began to work his hips forward.

Immediately, he felt a wet heat envelope the tip of his cock. Part of him had expected her to be too tight, but she had been riding a fence post, after all. Instead of too-tight, she felt taylor-made for his cock as inch after inch of veiny flesh sank into her waiting cunt. Her hand left him and slapped onto the machine to brace herself, her breath already coming in haggard pants.

"Fuck, oooooh fuck," she moaned out, her voice oozing satisfaction. "So fucking thiiiiiick~!"

"Just- Mm, just what the crazy witch ordered!" Christoph grunted, needing every ounce of his willpower to keep from slamming the rest of his stallion fuckmeat into her cursed cunt.

"Yeeeesssss," the goblin hissed out, just as Christoph felt the strangest sensation. It was like her hand was back on his cock, but he hadn't pulled back yet.

He shivered when he figured it out, she was fondling him through her stomach! The bulge he must have been making had to be huge for him to feel it so clearly.

The thought of the petite woman stretching like that around his cock was too much for his self control, and he rocked his entire body forward, the little goblin screaming as he forced over a foot of cockflesh into her with a single thrust.

"Ah fuck, I'm sorry!" he ground out as he got himself back under control and halted his forward momentum before he could stuff the rest inside. "Are you okay down there?" The lack of immediate response worried him, until he heard a drunken giggle.