Fight!

"It's funny how in life you can go from one extreme to the other in literally the blink of an eye. How for once in your life... things seem to be finally working out. We got a job! We made some nice new friends! We have a home... and a "family" of sorts. Well, that is if Margara, Mint and a dozen or so beautiful women who can't keep their hands off us count as a family. But best of all we had found the woman of our dreams, and even though we had done something really stupid and made her want to chuck us into the frozen ocean, she had apparently forgiven us completely, and arranged for us this job, and all these nice new friends. Which is great, because at least now, when 300 pounds of semi-cannibalistic amazonian muscle grinds our bones into slurry and then drinks our blood as a chaser to wash them down with, AFTER, of course, biting off all our hands and feet, there will be someone... to CRY... AT OUR FUNERAL!!"

Logical brain finished his speech with a dramatic flourish of motions, mimicking Mountains as she drew her finger across her throat at Edovan earlier that day, before she had exploded... but he knew it was fruitless. Lizard brain only had two modes: fuck or fight.

He supposed flight was in there as well, but didn't seem to be an option at this time. Liz was in full battle mode, and had thrown open wide the armory, and was now gleefully selecting various offensive and defensive strategies, spells, and gear for their inevitable showdown. "Ohhhh, we've so got this!" he cackled, as he debated between using the staff and just casting spells straight from his hands.

"What? What have we got?" Logical brain countered. "A deathwish? A tombstone? A nice little fighters guild ceremony to inter us? It's a good thing the Commander likes us! She can give our eulogy because she's ALREADY WEARING BLACK!"

(It should come as no surprise to anyone that Edovan's lizard brain was far more advanced and articulate in the FIGHT response than it was in the FUCK response. It had both superior training and experience in that regard. And unlike sex, fighting lizard brain KNEW what he was doing, had done it before, and was actually quite good at it. He knew how to gauge distances and calculate speeds. He knew casting times and cool downs, and he knew exactly how quickly his mana would regenerate. He knew how to identify and exploit weaknesses. He KNEW what to do.)

Lizard brain grabbed logical brain by his lapels and pulled his face close, grinning maniacally.

"She will not be up to full strength yet. She hasn't rested enough. You heard Staan, she should be out for at least 24 hours, and it's only been four... at.. most..." Lizard brain trailed off, his rolling confidence of mine cars suddenly derailed as Logical brain took over again.

"So either she won't be able to fight at all... or..."

"Staan was wrong..." Lizard brain finished their shared thought.

"Well... there's always flight. Flight is good too right?"

* * * * *

Edovan stared hard at Staan. Trying to comprehend the words he had heard coming out of his mouth.

"But you said she wouldn't recover for another 24 hours!" he exclaimed, with an obvious tone of begging-mixed-with-panic in his voice for that statement to be true. And he was trying very hard not to let the panic creep through, but he didn't really have to. Staan was panicking enough for both of them. He'd never seen the big Nord turn so white.

"I also said she wouldn't wake up so soon afterwards! But you saw what happened. We had to leave!" Staan said as he started to pace back and forth nervously.

"Eddo this is bad. Very bad. Rules or no rules, she's going to KILL you!"

Edovan grabbed his arm and tried to calm him.

"But she won't be at FULL strength right?" He put special emphasis on the word "full."

Staan suddenly dropped to one knee and grabbed Edovan by both his shoulders.

"I'm almost 99% certain she can't zerk again, if that is what you mean. But, you don't understand Eddo. I did go to check on them. Baryk was there. He's in bad shape... his face is all messed up, most of his bones are broken, and his fingers are gone on one hand. Hasn't even regained consciousness. But she... SHE was gone already. Turns out she WALKED in there on her own. Walked! And after they tended to her she up and walked back out again. Said she had some small matter she needed to take care of."

The look between them said everything.

"I don't know how she's even up, but she is. And apparently she is determined to make sure you aren't!"

Staan looked into Edovan's eyes with sorrow for his little buddy's predicament. Sovngarde only knew if she would ACTUALLY kill him, but the way Baryk looked in the infirmary, Staan didn't see any scenario where Edovan came out looking any better. But something had changed in Edovan. Something in his eyes. The fear-dilated pupils from when he first heard the news were gone... replaced instead with two howling sandstorms and a determined gaze.

"What are you thinking Eddo?? What's going on in that big brain of yours? Eddo?"

The little Bosmer had turned and started walking toward the portcullis that separated the upper and lower yards. He was moving with surprising speed and purpose, Staan took two quick strides to close the space between them and match his pace.

"Tell me everything, Staan. Everything you can about how this works, everything you can tell me about Mountains. Knowledge is a weapon. And I intend to go in armed to the teeth if possible," he said, determination replacing the fear and panic in his voice.

They continued talking as they passed through the opening, and started down the ramp toward the challenge ring. The noon sun was high in the sky, filling the courtyard with rare sunshine, as it glinted off the ancient shields that had been re-hung on the outer walls after the morning's excitement. Blood red pennants with the guild logo were flapping in an occasionally gusty western breeze, and there was a considerable crowd gathering down by the big circle. The whole atmosphere seemed almost festive.

But Edovan's mood was anything but.

Staan had quickly laid out for him the details. What he had witnessed earlier was a rank challenge. Apparently Utha, though practically being raised by the guild, had only recently reached the age where she could be formally accepted. That very next day she had called for, and won, her first rank challenge. The one he had witnessed earlier today was her third. Utha and her much older sister, Ambra, had both come to the guild several years ago. Ambra herself was an almost legendary member, high ranking, part of an elite force that was often working on the mainland these days. Everyone joked that Ambra was half giant because according to them she was the only person on the island taller than Yagaritte! She was also a talented Zerker, so it definitely ran in their family.

Rank challenges almost always involved the challenger facing off against multiple opponents of the rank they wished to attain. They did not have to win, and aren't usually expected to, given the uneven numbers of many versus one. You just have to hold your own... at least for a bit. The purpose of it was to give exceptional new recruits a chance to advance faster in the ranks than they normally would through strong performance on guild missions.

Today's challenge was different. This was an initiate challenge, which was by design a one on one affair. Initiate challenges could be issued by any guild member in good standing against any brand new recruit who the guild member feels is not worthy, lacks courage, or would otherwise jeopardize the safety of anyone they served with. It was intended as a test of fortitude, will, and combat ability. Again, the challenged recruit was not necessarily expected to win. They were expected to demonstrate some level of combat ability, and, more importantly, some toughness and personal courage in the face of uneven odds. This gave Edovan a modicum of hope, in that he felt if was able to even survive against Mountains he would have more than demonstrated all of the above. But it was only a modicum, because his odds of surviving were surprisingly low. Still, he was determined.

As Edovan and Staan drew closer to the circle, they finally looked up from their intense and detailed conversation. The crowd had started to part, to allow them forward. Edovan noticed immediately that this crowd was different from the one that had cheered the earlier battle. That crowd was rough, rowdy, raucous. Honestly exactly what he expected from an all Nord fighter's guild. This crowd was different. They were quiet, hushed, expectant... whispering among themselves in low tones as if they didn't want to be overheard by either himself or Staan. And there was one other odd but important distinction. THIS crowd was almost entirely women.

"Staan..." Edovan whispered sideways to his large friend. "What would you say the ratio of male to female members in the guild was... rough estimate." Edovan asked him curiously.

The big man scratched his head and looked thoughtful.

"I'd say it's about even... there were more men before the war. But a lot of them didn't make it back. It's more or less equal now. Why?"

"Oh, no reason. I'm just pretty sure that outside of my opponent's giant sister and Yagarrite, pretty much every single one of them showed up for this."

Edovan and Staan both looked around. The little mage was right. Out of the 50 or so people gathered to watch his impending demise, over three-fourths of them were women. They stared at Edovan... almost hungrily, with such intensity in their eyes he felt a bit like the last sweet roll in the bakery in the morning rush. Many subconsciously preened, or tossed their hair and licked their lips as they practically devoured him with their eyes. He also noticed that many of them were not fully armed or armored as they were before... and they were wearing make up, many had their hair done up... and the air was thick with the smell of a dozen competing perfumes...

He remembered the Commander's words from earlier.

"There is definitely something strange going on with you, so since I know about it, I'm not even going to try to fight it, if that's ok with you?"

Edovan didn't know anything about that or what could be causing it... but, if it were true, it might explain what had been happening at the Boar for the last several days, and more importantly, what was happening right now, in front of his very eyes: Which was that the huge crowd of women who had parted before them to allow them entry, had now closed behind them and was slowly closing in AROUND them.

Not this again...

"Eddo... what is happening?" Staan whispered down to him while trying to half cover his mouth so the converging women couldn't hear him.

There was a tinge of nervousness in his voice, and that more than anything else unnerved Edovan.

"Hello, ladies. Um... I mean fellow guild mates... hahaha...!" Staan laughed nervously.

Edovan glanced around at the women. Many of them were beautiful, some of them quite stunning. It occurred to Edovan in that moment that this island had a much higher than normal percentage of truly gorgeous women. The Boar was chock full of them, of course, but then again it was a brothel, and a world renowned one at that. He supposed there had been some artificial selection for its staff at work, but this... this was different. This was a fighter's guild. Being pretty wasn't really a huge help in combat, and yet Edovan was sure that there were many many women here that could easily put a few of the girls at the Boar out of a job if they chose to. And that was when Edovan noticed something else from his position a mere 4'8" off the ground that Staan, at 7'2", would never have seen. His heart skipped several beats and beads of sweat began to form on his forehead. Several of these women were wearing rather short open skirts or dresses, and several of those were not wearing any underwear.

He scanned the crowd, swallowing nervously as they closed in around him and his friend, his little face perilously close to the woman directly in front of him, whose wild strawberry blond thatch was advancing toward him at an alarming rate. He instinctively backed away from her, but the top of his head slipped under the hemline of a green cotton skirt and bumped into something soft and warm and completely bare behind him. He heard a feminine squeal of delight from above him and he knew exactly what had happened. It was the same noise the little blonde had made when he had poked his head out his little door portal and face planted into her nethers. He froze in place... not wanting to move forward or backwards. Hemlines were closing in around him from all directions like some sort of canopy as a forest of bare and shapely legs rose up around him. If only he could sink into the ground...

Just as the last of the light above him had disappeared, suddenly strong hands gripped him under his arms and hoisted him high in the air. He found himself perched again on Staan's wide shoulder. There was an audible noise of disappointment rippling through the mostly female throng surrounding them. Staan ignored them and deftly slipped through the masses to the open space in the middle of the circle. His strong voice excusing himself and apologizing all the way. Earlier, Edovan had been mortified when the previous crowd had turned as one to see him in this same embarrassing position, but right now he was just glad not be drowning in exposed privates. Well, logical brain was glad. Lizard brain was furious and was calling Staan every horrible Nord racial slur Edovan had ever heard. Just as Staan reached the open area, a hush fell over the crowd as they all turned at once toward a new development:

Mountains had finally arrived.

She strode through the crowd with little effort as they parted around her and fanned out to the edges of the stone circle that delineated the outer ring. She looked like a bronzed goddess, her darker skin oiled and shimmering in the noonday sun as her muscles rippled beneath it. She had changed from before. Gone were her dwemer accoutrements and huge steel cup bra. Instead some ambitious but misguided fool had attempted to bind her prodigious endowments with strips of dark red cloth. Normal cloth of course would have had no hope of containing her, but Edovan would have been able to see the enchantments and runes on this cloth from across the compound. From twenty feet away, as he was, he could tell the runes were dwemer in nature, though of a type he'd only ever seen on that strange dwemer structure the guild was using for a headquarters. That cloth! He'd seen it before. It was exactly the same as some of the curtains he had seen in the entryway!

Even with the runes everyone else could see it was straining to the breaking point as her "mountains" yearned to break free! The same cloth was wrapped around her hips and pelvis in a type of sarong, with a single longer piece hanging down in front to just above her knee. She also wore no gloves and no boots. Her hands and feet were bare. Aside from the enchanted cloth wraps, she carried only a single buckler of a design Edovan had never seen before. A simple hammered metal curved circular shield, unmarked and unadorned which she carried via a single leather strap on the back side. It was bigger than her previous one but otherwise unremarkable.

The message was very clear.

She didn't need any help to fight someone as insignificant as him. She probably would have preferred to fight him naked if that would have been allowed (and logical brain thanked the gods it wasn't!). Edovan still wasn't quite sure about that shield though. It was the only part that didn't fit. He stared at it hard from his vantage point on Staan's shoulders, but could discern nothing else about it.

Mountains herself was surveying the crowd with a sneer.

"What in Oblivion is going on here?" she demanded. Her deep voice thundered in a mocking tone. "This morning you were a bunch of strong, seasoned warriors. What happened while I was napping? Did you all change professions to work at the Horny Boar???" she asked, almost chuckling at her own wit.

The crowd answered in an eruption of angry cursing, drawn weapons, and combat stances. One second they were a flock of sex crazed women trying to be alluring as possible and the next they were hardened fighters, hissing through their teeth, weapons at hand. If Mountains had meant to snap them out of whatever spell they were under, it had failed. Now they were a mob of very attractive, alluring women, bent on murdering her for impugning their fighting status.

Edovan had came to the place in his mind where he was ready to combat this giantess and face the consequences, but this... well, this was different. This was going to be a bloodbath. Mountains was unarmed and barely armored, and there were almost four dozen armed but not much more armored female warriors. Edovan, who was usually quite good at predicting battle outcomes, had NO clear idea of how that would turn out. Except that it would be bad. He had to do something... or say something. But he had no idea what. He was about to open his mouth and just wing it when suddenly the entire crowd went silent and still... even Mountains. From his perch on Staan's shoulder Edovan craned his head over the crowd to see who or what could possibly have this effect on such strong warriors.

The Commander had arrived. Unlike all the other ladies, she was fully outfitted. Clad head to toe in her special black scaled mail with accompanying black chest piece, shin and thigh guards, bracers, gauntlets, collar, and an open face horned helm, she was an imposing figure indeed. The horns got Edovan's attention right away. Her whole outfit was radiating power in waves... but those horns. They were Dragon! It clicked with him then where the scales on her mail came from. She strode forward into the crowd with long purposeful steps as they warily parted around her and she took her place calmly in the center of the ring between Staan and Mountains. People weren't just being quiet or still, they were actually averting their eyes. By this point everyone has sheathed or tucked away their weapons once more.

"I trust you are aware, Little Mouse, that you WILL be required to stand on your own two feet for this challenge?" She asked, pointedly facing away from him, but her gaze still pierced him over the shoulder piece of her armor, her head tilted slightly back.

The crowd of women tittered around them and Mountains actually snorted, but then quickly pretended to be looking at her shield. Okay, NOW he was mortified. Edovan flushed so red he looked sunburnt for a second, which was not an easy feat for a dusky, golden skinned Bosmer. In one fluid motion he slipped off Staan's shoulder to land deftly on his feet before the big man could unintentionally further his humiliation by moving to set him down. Much to everyone's surprise he then turned toward him and handed Staan his staff.

"Hold this for me..." Edovan said quietly.

There were audible gasps of shock from some of the women, followed by a painfully quiet breeze of whispers gliding through them.

The Commander nodded, turning to look at him approvingly, and continued:

"I also trust that you have been given the rules and conditions of this Initiate challenge, but as the commanding officer I will remind you. You will fight till one of you is either prone against their will, incapacitated, or ends up out of the ring by any means possible. Or... and I fervently hope this doesn't happen..." she said, a note of disdain in her voice. "One of you yields ... to the other. Keep in mind that as the judge of this challenge, it is I, and I alone, who will determine incapacitation."