What It Takes Ch 04

Dear Reader: This is part 4 of a 4 part story. All four parts are written and will be posted sequentially. In Part 1, struggling space crew member Luna walked in on a crew member, Dr. Janice Alton, sharing an intimate moment with a giant space slug. In Part 2, Luna was attacked by a space spider. In Part 3, Luna befriended "Rex" and helped him out. This is not one of my "normal" genres (check out my lesbian, shemale, and incest stories). I am not sure if I am cut out for non-human stories, but I wanted a change of pace in my writing. Let me know what you think. If you readers think I have a knack for this kind of thing, I may return to this genre in the future.

Chapter 4: Learning To Thrive

"Come on, get up," I heard a familiar voice say. My eyes fluttered open and then closed against instantly against the harsh light. I was groggy and moved my hands to my eyes, rubbing them. Slowly, the fog in my mind started to lift. I slowly remembered who I was. And where I was.

"Hiliaria?" I asked, suddenly recognizing the voice that had awakened me.

"Yeah," was the curt, unfriendly reply.

"Are we home?" I asked. I could vaguely remember being put in cryosleep for the last leg of the trip.

"No," she said. Slowly, I sat up, feeling my joints ache as I sat. Suddenly, what she said registered. No. But she had the last shift...

"Is there an emergency," I said, shaking my head and trying to focus.

"No," Hilaria said. I saw her putting on her own cryosleep suit. But she was the last shift...

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I should ask you that, you fucking dick!" Hilaria shot back. I was sitting now and I turned and looked at her, still squinting in the light.

"What?" I asked. Hilaria sighed and shook her head.

"You'd think you'd remember," she said, "Six months ago you came in here and woke me up. You were all nervous and edgy and acting all weird like you do." She smirked at me when she said that, "And you demanded that I get up and start my shift. It wasn't until I was already awake and you were already under that I realized you'd woken me up two weeks early. You tried to foist two weeks of your shift off on me. Plus your pet or whatever had made some giant, stinking mess in the mess room for me to clean up. Well, we are two weeks from Earth now, asshole, and you are going to finish your damn shift." And with that, Hilaria jumped up on her cryosleep table and began her process for falling asleep.

For a moment, I just sat in my chamber. I was still confused and disoriented. Some of that was just the normal process of coming out of cryosleep. But some of it was that I had absolutely no idea what Hilaria was talking about. I rose up from the bed on shaky legs and started to move out of the room. I put my hand to my head, shaking it and thinking deeply. I could not for the life of me remember going into to cryosleep. I couldn't imagine that I'd awakened Hilaria early. In fact, I'd been thinking about staying out beyond my shift. I thought maybe that would pay back Hilaria for some of the stupid stuff I'd done on the trip. Besides, I didn't really need to sleep. I was having so much fun with...

Rex.

Suddenly, all of the memories came flooding back to me at once. I was in the doorway leading out of the cryosleep chamber and I threw my hands out against the door, steadying myself as a wave of nausea broke over me. Sudden images flashed through my mind. My hand wrapped around Rex's cock. My fingers coated in his pre-cum. The tip of his penis pressing against my lips. The flood of sperm into my mouth. And I remembered my own orgasm as I knelt naked over top of Rex's tail. I remembered everything. And I felt completely disgusted.

In fact, all of the emotions that I'd felt that day when I'd gone running out of the mess hall came back to me at once. As I'd fled from Rex, I replayed the entire event in my mind, over and over again. I could see all of the things I had done, hear my thoughts. But, in some ways, it felt like I was looking at another person. Like I was watching a movie in my mind and the person who was acting was someone else. Because I could never do those things. I would never do those things. I'd made a stand in front of Tara and Hilaria on just that issue.

But even as I had those thoughts, I could feel my body once again stirring. I couldn't ignore it anymore. Obviously, Rex hadn't forced anything on me. He hadn't even asked. It had been me. I had dived in head first. I remembered the way my nipples felt, the way my pussy had gotten wet, the fluttering sensation I got that reminded me of a first kiss. Those were all the natural reactions from my body. And as I was suddenly being painfully honest with myself, I realized that it had predated Rex. I'd felt...something with that spider. I was terrified and didn't want what had happened to me. But my body reacted and I had...had an orgasm. There was no denying that anymore. And it went back before. I might've made a stand in front of Tara and Hilaria, but it had always been hypocritical. From the time I watched Dr. Alton with the space slug, going forward, these feelings had been inside of me.

That was why I'd awakened Hilaria early. I didn't know what to do about that. I couldn't deal with it. My mind had just kept circling back around the same ground over and over again. I felt the tension growing tighter and tighter within me. The thought of seeing Rex again...I couldn't fathom it. I was angry had him, though I really couldn't say why. He hadn't done anything. But I felt it anyway. Worse, regardless of the disgust I felt, I knew I couldn't trust myself. Hell...I wasn't sure what I'd do if I saw Rex. So I'd run to my room, taken a shower, and dashed to the cryosleep chamber immediately. I tried to keep my mind occupied by a thousand little thoughts so that I could put myself to sleep and not think about the implications of my actions.

But now I was awake again and everything was back. It was like nothing had changed. It hardly seemed like any time had passed, let alone six months. All of the emotions were right on the surface. And there wasn't any place to run anymore. There were still two weeks on the ship. Rex was still on the ship. And I didn't know what would happen when I saw him.

* * * * *

For two full days I slinked my way through the halls of the ship. I moved furtively and always peaked around corners to see if he was there. I sniffed the air, waiting to catch the tell-tales fishy, reptilian scent. I never did, but I felt incredibly tense the entire time. My stomach was knotted, my skin coated in cold sweat. I always felt like he was right around the corner.

I know that part of me always wished he was.

Some of it was just that I missed the companionship we'd shared. My tasks had, once again, become extremely difficult. I overthought everything because I was no longer able to trust my instincts. I was making mistakes again. I missed the carefree atmosphere that Rex had created. The atmosphere that had finally allowed me to do my job.

But I knew it was more than that too. I had to stop lying to myself. I recognized that my body wanted Rex as well. I missed him lying in bed next to me. I missed the smell of his oily skin. And I knew that part of me...well, had really enjoyed our time together in the mess room. I knew it was wrong and I knew it was bad. But just because I couldn't explain the attraction didn't mean it wasn't there. The pleasure I felt wasn't bad. The pleasure I gave to Rex wasn't bad. I knew that I had the desire to experience that joy again. I think it was that desire, more than anything else, that kept me on my toes.

It was on the third day that I learned that all of my caution was unnecessary. I snuck into the kitchen for my breakfast and was more than a little startled to see Dr. Alton sitting at the table. Just like she had been on the day of...the event. She was sitting calmly and drinking a cup of coffee. She raised her eyebrows slightly when she saw me.

"Oh, Luna," she said, "Hilaria had said something about waking you up. I didn't know it had been done." I froze when she spoke, though I really can't say why. Eventually, I just nodded. I slowly walked over and got myself a cup of coffee.

"She was angry at you," Dr. Alton stated. I realized she wasn't going to leave me alone.

"It was a misunderstanding. I need to apologize to her," I said.

"She said you made her clean up after your friend the Aranea Cuculus, said it had gotten sick," Dr. Alton said sharply. I dropped my cup onto the floor, splattering my legs with hot coffee. I looked at Dr. Alton quickly, but she acted as though she didn't notice my motions. I wonder if she knew. But still, the hint about Rex made me wonder.

"I didn't think he was sick," I said flatly. Dr. Alton shrugged her shoulders. I felt a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach, something I couldn't explain. "Was he?"

"I don't think he was then," Dr. Alton said, "I came up here a few hours later, after she'd cleaned. It didn't smell like he'd gotten sick in here." As she spoke, Dr. Alton raised her eyebrows. But I wasn't concerned about her second statement.

"Wasn't then? What does that mean?" I asked.

"Hilaria didn't tell you when she went down?" Dr. Alton said, no longer speaking in an arch manner, she sounded legitimately surprised. The uneasy feeling in my stomach grew deeper.

"No. What're you talking about?" I asked desperately. I sat down quickly at the table across from Dr. Alton.

"Here I have been judging you the last two days...okay, I know you've been awake for two days...but you didn't know," Dr. Alton said.

"Didn't know what?" I said desperately. Now the fact that I hadn't heard or seen Rex over the previous two days was no longer reassuring. Where was he? Had something happened to him? "Tell me!"

"Hey don't act like you didn't leave him two weeks early!" Dr. Alton shot back, looking at me fiercely for the first time. I felt like I'd been struck. "You just picked up and left him. Didn't even tell me I needed to start feeding him. So don't act so concerned now." The sinking feeling in my stomach grew deeper. Did I starve him? God, I'd never wanted to hurt him. Hadn't even thought about him...I'd never realized before what a selfish person I was.

"I'm sorry. You're right," I said, chastened. Dr. Alton's eyes softened and she nodded.

"You shouldn't be apologizing to me. You should apologize to him," she said. My mood suddenly brightened.

"You mean he is okay?" I said rapidly, "I didn't starve him or kill him or something. He is fine?" I'd never known relief like that. I don't know what I'd have done if I was responsible...

"I didn't say fine," Dr. Alton said, lifting her hand. I immediately went silent and I felt my blood pressure rise again, "When you left, the Aranea Cuculus..."

"Rex," I said. She smiled wanly.

"Rex didn't take it very well," she explained, "I ran into him the next day. He was hungry and tired. But he didn't care about that. I could tell. He was looking for you. I went looking for you, scared as well, and found Hilaria. She told me what she knew. I tried to explain it to...Rex. I am not sure he understood. All I know is that he wasn't the same creature after that. He was depressed and surly. He snapped at me more than once when I fed him. I brought him back with my other creatures, but he picked fights with them. Eventually, he got in a scrap with something larger than him. I am not sure what. But he had a very substantial wound on his rear leg," she said. I gasped and put my hand to my mouth. That didn't sound like Rex.

"Is he okay now? Has he healed?" I asked desperately.

"I stitched him up. There was no infection. The wound is mostly healed," she said and I felt relieved, "But he never went through the proper rehabilitation. He spent the better part of three months off of his feet. I tried to get him up and walking around. But he refused. He outweighs me by a couple of hundred pounds. If he doesn't want to go, I can't make him. He's just been wasting away. If he doesn't get up and get moving, rebuild his muscle, he is going to die. I am as much of an expert on Aranea Cuc..."

"Where is he," I said urgently. My voice sounded like it was on the edge of panic. And I suppose I was. Whatever was happening to Rex, it was my fault. My responsibility. I needed to apologize. And I needed to help. I'd already missed two days and I couldn't miss another second.

"I am keeping him over with the other aliens now. The room right across the hall from mine. It's..." Dr. Alton was still talking, but I was already out of the room, running as fast as I could.

* * * * *

There he was, lying on the floor in the room across from Dr. Alton's, where all of this...stuff had started. He was emaciated. His large, rounded belly looked flat and his skin was loose. His eyes were open, but they weren't nearly as bright as they had been before. They looked clouded and weak. But he was alive. I could see him breathing shallowly. He looked...terrible.

"Oh my god!" I said, putting my hand over my mouth. He heard my voice and stirred slightly. His head turned and he looked at me. For a moment, his eyes lit up and his leg moved. Then, I swear, I saw a shadow sort of fall over his face. He turned his head and looked away from me.

"Rex," I said, "Do you recognize me?" I asked. I don't know why I asked. It was clear that he had recognized me and that he was upset with me. It was also clear from what Dr. Alton said that Rex was angry that I'd left. And he had every reason to be. Now he ignored me, his laboring breath the only noise in the room. I felt tears welling in my eyes as I looked upon him, struggling. I don't know what I was expecting, but this was so much worse. I'd never experienced guilt like that in my life.

"I'm sorry I ran away Rex," I said, taking half a step towards him. He grunted slightly and turned his head a half inch in my direction. He wasn't looking at me directly, but it was clear that he was actually listening. I felt a little silly, talking. I mean, I have no idea how much he could actually understand. But it felt like the right thing to do. Maybe, even if he didn't, he would understand my tone. Regardless, I knew I just needed to get it off my chest. Just like the last time I was with Rex, I acted without thinking. But this time, I didn't allow any mental blocks to get in my way. I knew I was telling the truth.

"I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. I hope...I hope while I was gone that you didn't think that I was angry with your or upset. You were...wonderful. You were a perfect friend. The...well really the best friend that I've ever had in my life. You were never the problem. It was always me. I was a bad friend. I guess you know that now.

"Look, I was lying to myself that day. I didn't realize it at the time...I didn't want to realize it at the time. I told myself that what happened...the way that I touched you...I told myself that I was just doing you a favor. I noticed that you got excited sometimes and I told myself I was just trying to help that out...as a friend. And then, when it was happening, it was lovely. I really mean that. It was...like the most fun ..." Rex grunted slightly and I saw that he was looking at me more closely. I couldn't look him in the eye, I gazed down at my feet. I felt so incredibly nervous, though I really didn't understand why.

"I was lying to myself. Everything I was doing that day was for me. I wanted to feel your cock. I wanted to put it in my mouth. I wanted to play with myself while I did it. I wasn't thinking about you. I mean, I definitely was. But I wasn't thinking about your feelings. And then...it happened and I couldn't deal with the things that I'd been feeling. I thought it was...wrong. And I was ashamed of myself. And because I was only thinking about me...getting so worked up and self-involved I didn't even really think about you when I ran out of here. I mean I only thought about the way you impacted me...not you as...someone I care about.

"And then I woke up and I found out that you were sad and that you were...hurt..." my voice cracked as I said that word and I felt tears running down my cheeks. I hadn't even realized what I was feeling until I said it, but everything was true, "I just realized how selfish I'd been. How self-absorbed and...childish. And I realized that I am always like that. I always think of myself as the most important thing in the universe. I focus so intently on myself that I can't even focus on anything else, to my own detriment. And to the detriment of others.

"Except when I was around you. Then I just forgot about everything else and there was just us. And I could just be without wrapping myself up in my own issues. You made me a complete person. You're what I needed to survive in this horrible lonely place.

"And when I came here, running to find you, I felt like my mind had been clearer than it has ever been. Because when I realized that I could really hurt you...When I realized you could be gone forever, I stopped caring about myself. All I could think about was you. And how good you are. I just needed to get here. To take care of you. Because, Rex, I really think that...I love you. And I am here for you now. This time, I am really here just for you. I just want to repay you for everything you've done for me. And everything you've made me learn. I am so sorry Rex. Please forgive me."

I was still looking at my feet as I finished talking. I wasn't sure that anything I'd said had really made any sense. And even if it had, I wasn't sure that he understood what I was saying. I was terrified of looking up and seeing him gazing away, into the distance, pretending he didn't hear me. I was afraid I was too late. But then I heard a soft cooing sound, a familiar sound. My head shot up. Rex was looking at me, his eyes clearer than they'd been at any time since I'd arrived. I don't know how I knew...but I could tell he forgave me.

"Oh Rex, thank you!" I said, and I rushed across the room towards him. His powerful smell was still strong up close. Familiar and disgusting and beautiful all at once. I never thought I'd miss it. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed the side of his oily face repeatedly, squeezing him tighter and tighter. I was still crying and laughing, nearly hysterical. Rex was cooing lightly and I could tell that he was happy too, he nuzzled his head against my face and his tail swished slightly. But I could feel how tired he was...how weak.

"What can I do to make you feel better? Let me take care of you the way you've taken care of me. Are you hungry? Thirsty?" I asked, slowly releasing my grip on his neck and looking him over. For a moment, he tried to stir, I saw him try to roll over onto his legs. But halfway over, he stopped, and rolled onto his back gasping for breath. He was even worse than I thought. For a moment, fear returned to me. He was going to die! But then I realized that was a selfish thought. I was thinking about my fears. Rex needed me to be strong now, the way that he was strong for me with the spider.

I took a deep breath, stopped, and got control of myself. I looked around the room, for something, but I didn't know what. I knew what the doctor said, he needed to get up and exercise. He needed to regain his strength. I needed to figure out how to make that happen. But as I gazed around I saw nothing. Nothing, that is, until I saw Rex's body. I smiled despite my concern.

Rex might have been struggling, but I guess that my appearance and my kisses had awakened him anyway. Rex was lying on his back on the floor, sort of to one side. And now that I looked, I saw that Rex's penis had slipped half-hard from its sheath. The familiar red, veiny flesh looked just as enticing as ever. His balls looked bigger than ever. I stopped pretending that I didn't find it mouthwatering and allowed myself a second of feeling proud of the reaction I'd caused.