December 28th
Throwing on my 2-day old clothes, I casted a glare over at my now girl... cat... girlfriend, whatever, as she was adjusting the necklace that I gave her for Christmas, while smugly looking in the mirror.
I knew she was feeling pretty proud of herself for finally nailing me. I briefly wondered if this was how a hot, hard to get, high school cheer leader felt after a night with the captain of the football team. Not that I was comparing myself to a chick in any means, but just for the record, if I was, then I'd be a damn hot cheerleader...
Yeah so anyways...
She opted for a purple on black dress with a purple bow in her hair and of course no bra or panties. Sure, she looked amazing but I was also pretty sure that everyone in a 5 mile radius could smell us, which is what I knew she wanted.
It was embarrassing but I decided to put up with it for the day- being the perfect boyfriend and all. Romie grabbed onto my arm and kissed me on the cheek as we headed out of her room on our way to meet momma in the courtyard.
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When we got there, the Queen had her servants set up a small table with tea and biscuits for us. Tea time seemed more like Cold War time, with the fact that there's was some obvious, held on bitterness with Romie and mom. I shoved the cookies down my throat and gulped down the tea in an effort to move things along as quickly as possible. Eventually, after that little nightmare, she lead us to Eric's grave, some distance away. In a clearing, by a large tree, there lay a single headstone surrounded by blue wild flowers.
I turned to ask the Queen a question but found she had vanished. No matter how long had passed, I could understand that she was still in pain from his death.
Romie slowly walked up to the grave and collapsed upon it crying. My heart ached to see her like that. It was a fucked up way to meet your dad for the first time...
I gave her some space, let her cry it out for a time. Eventually, I walked over, knelt down and took her in my arms.
"Hey," I said as I gently cradled her, "Let me introduce you to a little something from back home."
Reaching into my pocket, I took out my phone and earbuds. I had to smile as Romie looked at the device in both awe and suspicion. Good ol' 21st century tech, meet crazy Cheshire. Her kitty ears were a bit of a challenge to pop the buds into but I managed as I unlocked the device and called up some Goo Goo Dolls for her to listen to. Placing the phone in her paws, I pushed the play button and watched as the fun began.
At first she was shocked to hear music coming from the small things that I put in her ears, but being a Cheshire, I knew she could roll with strange. Eventually a smile grew on her face as the music rocked and flowed. The beats were both soulful and relaxing. From past experiences, the Dolls have always been a good choice for when I was down. For some reason, I was pleased to see Romie was no different. I let her listen for a while, until what little remained of the battery finally died. I wasn't sure when I would be able to get the damn thing recharged, but seeing her smile once again made it all worth while.
"Thank you," She said sniffling back the remaining tears, as she returned the phone and buds. We both stood up, as the moment passed.
"I didn't know you could use magic..."
"It sure as hell aient magic, more like Steve Jobs gift to the world... at a cost of $200 plus the two year contract." I grinned, thinking back to the 4 hours I stood in line just to get a hold of the damn thing.
"What did I say about you talking like that?" She growled as she pulled me in for a deep 'thank you' kiss.
"Down tiger, there's still a lot we need to do today without you getting all frisky again." I laughed, pulling away. Sure, we were in that magical, cupcake stage where banging each other's brains out was at the top of the list, but there were a lot of unanswered questions that quite honestly scared the shit out of me.
A scream in the distance interrupted my musing. Romie and I looked at each other in the eye for an instant before we both started running towards the noise. Racing through the woods, we came upon a clearing that lead to a small villiage some ways away.
We could see smoke and fire from the buildings and could hear more and more screams as we saw Mamono running, carrying their valuables and even loved ones. I didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know some shit was going down.
"Go, grab the Spades and get back here as fast as you can." I said to Romie as we both looked on in dread.
"What are you going to do?!" She asked fearfully.
"I'm gonna buy some time," I replied as I pulled out Winona. I didn't know how many bad guys where down there, and more then likely I was in over my head on this one, but I had to do something.
"Please, becareful," She begged as she grabbed me in a tight hug and kissed me soundly.
"Don't worry, I got this," I cocked a grin as I watched her teleport out. I wished I felt the same confidence inside as I showed to Romie...
Turning to the village, I broke into a run. Opening Winona's chamber, I quickly replaced her bullets as I sped onwards, praying I wasn't too late. Entering, I sped walked past a few escaping March Hares, and made my way to the center of the chaos. A group of 4 Order Knights, some asshat that thought he was Robin Hood by firing flaming arrows and some Daniel Radcliffe lookalike wizard, were fucking the place up pretty badly. Anger welled in me as I saw them setting fires, shooting bolts of magic, trashing homes, trying to kill innocent women and children. Seems like they were having quite the party.
Time to crash this bitch...
"Pardon me!" I yelled to them at the top of my lungs. They all paused and turned towards me, confused as to why there was some random guy standing in the middle of a god damn war zone.
"...Does anybody have any Grey Poupon?" I asked as I aimed and fired a bullet straight into Harry Potter's chest. Rule 1: Always go for the magic users first. Rule 2: Hit up the archers next. I spun around and did a head shot to Robin Hood. Rule 3: Handle the rest of the trash after. I then proceeded to pick off the other 4 retards as they ran towards me, swords swinging.
"Well, I guess I'll have to go get my own damn mustard then." I said to the bodies around me as I kissed Winona's empty chamber. Damn she was hot... and I meant that literally, because after 6 shots, she gets a little toasty.
Now, I know what you're thinking...
Holy shit, that guy's really good with a gun! Yep, and you can thank all the time and millions of quarters I spent at the arcade for that one. Now there's probably a squeamish few out there that are mumbling something about me killing a bunch of people. Except I didn't. Remember when I said I replaced Winona's bullets?
Way back, when I was explaining to Victoria about guns and bullets, she was very against the idea of creating something that could kill like that. I argued that it was the fucking Wild West out there and I needed something to defend myself as I really sucked using at swords, bows and pretty much everything else she had on hand. We comprised on me getting Winona and Victoria modifying most of the ammo given to me. Instead of traditional metal for the slug, she used Demon Realm Silver. The stuff somehow passes through people, which instead of physically harming someone, it messes up their energy, making them drop like a sack of potatoes. Don't ask me how it does it, I just know the shit works, hence the 6 fully alive bodies around me.
Walking over to the wizard, I knelt down and grabbed his face so we could look at each other.
"Well now, Mr. Potter, what have you and your friends been up to?" I said doing my best Severus Snape voice.
