Dead and Horny

Hi, all! I'm back again with my most extreme Thelma and Louise girl power extravaganza!

(Readers should note I've never watched actually watched the movie, but know they drove off a cliff)

New reader? Welcome! This is a chapter from a sequel to a spin-off novel from my Home for Horny Monsters series! Once upon a time a guy let a dying nymph suck his dick in a bathtub, and now you're in a spinoff novel with a lesbian zombie, a succubus with a heart of gold, and a werewolf who sleeps on car trips. Hopefully that catches you up.

Returning readers, welcome! Somehow February was the longest damn month ever and it feels like it's been forever since I've posted anything! (Being truthful, I snuck away from real life to post this chapter before I forgot). Anyway, I'm so happy to see so many of you enjoying this weird spinoff tale, especially because I'm about to drop a new monster type directly into the HFHM world! Will it be a loch ness monster? An alligator with tits? Or something more mainstream? Who the hell knows!

But I'd be remiss not to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support on this story and all my others. Thank you for leaving those stars, comments, and sending the feedback letters that I (usually) get (eventually), I do love to read (almost all of) them. I wouldn't be here without the readers on this website, so thank you, thank you, thank you!

I could spend a little bit more time talking about how amazing I think you are, but I assume most of you know that already. As much as I would love to expand on my feelings for my readers, I know you're eager to get into this chapter, so for now I'll keep my emotions

Leashed

By the time Lily found Dana, the zombie had crawled out of the surf and was lying face down underneath someone's sailboat. The ship had been pulled up next to a set of steps that led to a beach house. Dana's hair had gone completely gray, a sign that she was almost a full zombie. She could exist this way for a little bit, but the hunger would eventually take over and she would attack someone.

"Hey there, Sparks. You okay?" Lily crouched down to inspect her friend. Dana rolled onto her back and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Her cheeks puffed up as she blew, causing water to comically squirt out of a hole in her chest.

"There's no need to be a drama queen," Lily declared as she plugged the hole with her finger. Dana's body was slashed in multiple places. Some of the wounds were already closed, but others remained open, yet another sign that a zombie apocalypse was on its way. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

Dana bared her teeth in response, then groaned and fell backward.

"Okay, let's do some mouth to mouth." Lily pressed her lips to Dana's, then spat a huge glob of Mike's magical semen into the zombie's mouth. Dana sucked it down greedily, moaning as she did so. The cuts on her body knitted together properly as new scars formed. The side effect of the semen was instantaneous. Dana wrapped her arms around Lily and yanked her down to kiss her aggressively. Lily pulled free and punched the zombie in the gut, causing her to spit up a bunch of ocean water.

"I have standards," Lily said with a smirk, then rolled Dana onto her side and thumped the zombie on the back hard enough to crack bones. More water came up, far more than lungs or stomach could hold. "I'm surprised you could even float with this much in you."

"Didn't float for long," Dana replied, her voice raspy. She rolled over and grabbed Lily by the straps of her tank top and yanked on the fabric. One of Lily's breasts popped free, causing the succubus to laugh.

"If it was Mardi Gras, you'd owe me beads." She moaned when Dana latched onto her nipple, swirling her tongue around. "We should probably find somewhere less obvious."

"Mmmkay," Dana replied from around Lily's breast. The two of them scooted further up the shore and found a spot secluded from the rest of the beach between two houses. They were hidden from view, save for a nearby balcony. If seen, it wouldn't be the first time Lily had been busted for public indecency or trespassing.

"How romantic." Lily leaned against a concrete wall that marked the boundary between the homes. She lifted her tank top, allowing her breasts to spring free. For shits and giggles, she enlarged them by a couple of cup sizes. "Raw doggin' it behind--"

Dana spun Lily around and forced her against the wall, sliding one hand down Lily's shorts and fondling her breast with the other. Dana didn't bother with any attempt at foreplay, but started fingering the succubus while sucking on the side of her neck.

"At least I'm not getting sand in my ass," Lily muttered. Dana pulled Lily's shorts down and penetrated her pussy with three fingers, causing Lily to arch her back and groan. Dana slid down and buried her face in Lily's ass.

"Oh, yeah, you know what I like!" Lily's eyes fluttered as Dana's tongue flicked along her labia and just barely missed her clitoris. It was easy enough to shift her anatomy to allow for better stimulation, but getting off wasn't exactly going to do anything for Dana. Until the zombie had an orgasm and could experience post-nut clarity, they would be at this all day.

Not that Lily minded, but they were on a schedule.

"Okay, spring break queen, let's get your head on straight." Lily grabbed Dana by the hair and yanked, pulling the zombie sideways and then pinning her against the wall. Dana's eyes rolled up in her head as Lily trapped her against the wall with her body and pushed down Dana's shorts. Her shirt hiked up, revealing the tattoo of gears on her lower back.

"Yes," Dana hissed, seawater leaking from her mouth. She slid her hands down the wall to play with her clit as Lily's tail slid along her inner thigh. "Do it."

"With pleasure." Lily put a hand over Dana's mouth and then penetrated the zombie's pussy with her tail. The sharp cry of pleasure was muffled by Lily's palm, and the succubus held Dana tight against the wall and used her tail like a giant, cock-shaped piston. Dana scratched grooves into the concrete with her free hand as she desperately fiddled at her clit with the other, grunting and accidentally biting Lily's palm.

"Yeah, you like it rough, don't you, dead girl?" Lily licked Dana's neck. "Pinned up against the wall, can't even move your hips properly. Bet somebody is wondering why you're reacting this way, cause they can't see my tail. They would probably think you're just a huge slut who loves to...oh my."

Dana did an odd little squat and squirted, spraying her legs and Lily's tail. Her pelvis shook as she did it again, then pressed her ass back into Lily.

"Is that you, or did you get seawater up your cooch?" Lily pulled her tail free and turned it into smoke before it could be seen. She knelt down and inspected Dana's pussy, which was dripping with cum. "Wow, even I'm impressed."

"Please help me with my shorts." Dana whimpered against the concrete, her legs wobbling underneath her. "I'm afraid I'll fall."

Lily pulled Dana's shorts back up and then hugged her friend from behind. "So you got into a fight with a werewolf, huh?"

Dana nodded. "I'll tell you all about it back at the room."

By the time they were back on the beach, Dana was walking normally, but her shredded clothes exposed too much skin. They stopped to pick up Dana's backpack, which she had shoved under the sailboat, then stole a towel and walked up to the road. A bus trip and a short walk later, they were back in the apartment.

Dana stepped into the bathroom for a quick shower. Lily waited for the zombie out on the balcony, and smiled when Dana came out wearing a simple sundress.

"That looks cute on you," Lily said.

"Thanks." Dana plopped down on a nearby chair and sighed. "My drone got wet, so it's properly ruined. The power source was fine, which is the only good news. I'm afraid I can't show you any footage from the event center."

"That's fine, we'll figure something out."

"So do you remember Tasia, our friend from Hawaii?"

"Captain Funbags?" Lily chuckled. "Or are we calling her Tit-Punch McGee? You should have seen her afterward, the poor girl was all lopsided." To emphasize her point, Lily squeezed one of her breasts, causing it shrink while the other expanded.

"So she's a werewolf now." Dana shared her werewolf tale, which didn't make a lot of sense to Lily. Her own experience with werewolves was limited, but she had never heard of one who could shift during the day, nor had she ever known one to be in control. The Order was dealing with some next level shit right now, but that was sort of what they did.

Once finished with her story, Dana sighed and stared out toward the horizon. She closed her eyes and went still, as if asleep.

"Something on your mind?" Lily asked.

"Always." Dana kept her eyes closed as she spoke. "I guess I'm just worried about why the Order is in the area, doing who knows what."

"Those assholes are everywhere. Go anywhere with a decent population and you'll run across them eventually. The Bermuda Triangle is nearby, there's some strange shit that comes out of there that the Order gets hard over. Anyway, they've been around for centuries and have managed to weave themselves through every functional society out there. When people joke about shadow governments, that's them. They try to leave mankind to their own devices, as long as it doesn't interfere with their sacred duty."

"Yeah, but...isn't it a little too convenient that Tasia ended up here? Why her?"

Lily shrugged. "You learn at some point that paths cross in certain circles. It's kind of like how celebrities run into each other around the world. They get involved in stuff that normal people are blissfully unaware of."

"You an expert on celebrities now?" Dana opened an eye and looked at Lily.

"I've eaten a few." Lily winked. "Take me for example. I've been limiting my activities to shitty people, sucking out their souls and making it look like an accident. The Order wouldn't even bother investigating unless I started making waves. These have always been people who aren't missed, much less talked about. I'm just a part of the ecosystem. If not for my ability to consume a soul and gain its knowledge, I would just be a simple predator to them. They wouldn't pay me any extra attention as long as I stayed in my lane.

"But we're in their world now, chasing the things they do. Actively out and about, hunting a demon so that we can tag the fucker and let Eulalie have her way with it. She's already done the research, I've seen what she has in mind once we figure out its identity. It'll be positively delicious. But we're hunters now, and sometimes we come across each other in the woods. Or perhaps fate has a hand in our dealings. Who knows? The truth of the matter is that no matter what happens, we make our own luck. Tomorrow night we're going to go to that event center, track down that demon, and either get some pictures or slip a few of these in their pocket." Lily reached into her essence and pulled out a small disk. It was a tracking device that Eulalie had helped develop for the military. No larger than a coin, she deftly rolled it across her knuckles in a display of prestidigitation. "And if a werewolf gets in your way again? We'll spay that bitch together."

Dana opened her other eye and sat forward, her dress creeping up her thighs. "Is this the part where I found out you ate a motivational speaker once?"

Lily chuckled, then rolled the tracking disk into the palm of her hand and made it vanish. "Perhaps. Let's just say that the closer you get to the top of a pyramid scheme, the better they taste."

Dana stood from her chair and gazed out over the city. She did this for a couple of minutes and then turned toward the door of their apartment. The sun was going down and they hadn't turned on any of the interior lights. The zombie surveyed the shadows and then looked down at Lily.

"Just you and me, huh?"

Lily winked.

Dana rested her hand on Lily's shoulder and teased the strap of her tank top. "So who tastes better? Me or some bitch selling makeup?"

The succubus snorted. "Let's just say you're one of my favorite things to eat."

Dana squatted down and ran her hand up Lily's thigh, teasing her through her panties. There was humor and desire in the zombie's eyes, and then they kissed.

"You know, we kind of rushed it earlier," Dana said, her breath hot against Lily's ear. "Since it's just the two of us, what do you say we go inside and take it slow this time?"

Lily ran her hands up Dana's legs until they disappeared beneath the sundress. She discovered that the zombie wasn't wearing any panties.

"I like the sound of that," Lily said. "But I get to be the big spoon when we're done."

Dana laughed, a surprising sound that brought a smile to Lily's face.

⛪⛪⛪

Tasia had no idea how much time had passed. After being tossed in the van and driven a short distance, all she could do was cry out in the hopes that someone would hear her. Eventually, the van started and she was moved again.

When the doors were finally opened, it was nighttime and she was blinded by floodlights. Several dark figures climbed in with her, but she was too weak to fight. The silver bullets lodged in her body had sapped her strength, leaving her weaker than she had been when just a normal human.

"Easy with the merchandise." Esteban stood outside the vehicle, gun in hand. "The Curator wants this one alive."

The people carrying her said nothing. They moved her through a dimly lit building that seemed to be some sort of performing arts center. Eventually they arrived at a giant set of double doors. They were opened by a young woman in a dress skirt with a matching jacket. She looked to be no older than sixteen and was carrying a tablet in one hand.

"Father is inside," she said, her eyes flicking briefly toward Tasia. "Who is that?"

"A business opportunity, his ears only." Esteban studied the woman for a moment. "Do you have any spare cages?"

She nodded. "We do. I'll make arrangements."

Esteban thanked her and walked through the doors. The interior of the room was decorated in old venue posters and a few costume racks were set up. A bank of security monitors sat in the back of the room, watched by three men in black. At a table in the middle of the room, Deacon Osgrove leaned over a man's shoulders to see what was on his iMac.

"Let's go with that one," he said, pointing at the screen. "That'll play well with the crowd."

"Yes, Mr. Osgrove." The tech was already working on his task as Deacon stepped around the table and sat on the corner. He picked up a small sandwich that was on a catering tray and took a bite of it, chewing thoughtfully as he stared at Esteban.

Deacon swallowed, then took a swig from a nearby bottle of water. "New body?" he asked.

Esteban nodded. "Indeed. You know how these things go, waste not, want not. But first, the matter of your payment. The money has been deposited into your account."

Deacon's daughter appeared at his side, holding up her tablet for him to look at. He frowned and looked at Tasia, then Esteban. "That's not the amount we agreed on."

"Correct, it isn't." Esteban chuckled. "Your man was supposed to lure out our target. That was beautiful work at the nightclub, by the way."

Deacon said nothing, his lips pressed together.

"But the Curator was very disappointed to discover that he was sloppy. While acquiring his test subject, he learned that they had gathered enough evidence to start a hunt, which meant the Order was this close to being on your doorstep." Esteban held his thumb and forefinger up with a small gap between them. "So he is altering the deal."

A dark shape emerged from the shadows in the back, a thin man with a pale countenance. He moved toward Esteban menacingly, but Deacon held up a hand to stay him.

"Please relay my apologies to the Curator." Deacon looked like he was going to be sick. Even in her weakened form, Tasia could smell fear coming off of him. "We should have done a better job, and I hope we can continue our current arrangement."

Esteban nodded. "He is still very much invested in your experiment and does not wish to see it end...prematurely. However, as compensation, you are to hold this woman for the next twenty-four hours. The Order is looking for her, but the Curator wants her for himself."

"I see." Deacon licked his lips. "Please take no offense, but why doesn't the Curator just take her now?"

"His current experiment is time sensitive," Esteban replied. "This particular specimen was unexpected, which is why he left me behind to collect her."

"I'm not a specimen," Tasia growled. The men ignored her. She looked pleadingly at Deacon's daughter, but the woman avoided eye contact.

"I don't have anywhere I can put her without blowing my own cover, so we're trusting you to make this happen. It's not like you don't have the facilities for this."

Deacon nodded. "Then please let the Curator know that I'll hold her. Are we treating her wounds?"

"Only if you wish to lose a hand." Esteban chuckled. "She won't die, if that's what you're worried about. This one's a fallen knight of the Order."

"I...haven't...fallen." She struggled against the men holding her, but they were strong enough to hold her down. "I will...never fall!"

"I'll take her." Deacon's daughter walked out of the room, and Tasia's escort followed. She was dragged through some dark tunnels and then past a staging area that was completely concealed from view. A large tour bus with Deacon's face on the side was parked just outside the private entrance of the event center. They carried Tasia up the stairs of the bus and toward the back. There were small living quarters and a kitchen, but a secret door in the back opened to reveal a storage area with a stack of cages. There were four of them total, in a two-by-two configuration.

"Put her in three." The woman stepped aside as Tasia was shoved into a cage on the bottom. She couldn't help but notice that it smelled of human blood. "I want two men on this bus at all times. It's your heads if she escapes."

Nobody else said a word, and Tasia cried out as the door to the room was shut and she was plunged into darkness.

⛪⛪⛪

Lily stood on the roof of a building overlooking the convention center. The sunset over the ocean cast golden rays across the sky like a crown, and those rays sent dark shadows over the far side of the building. She looked over at Dana, who wore a pair of black leggings and a dark shirt. Her backpack was secured to her belly, and she double checked all the zippers

"Looks like it's time to drop in," Lily said with a grin.

"Wait." Dana tightened the straps on her backpack one more time. "Okay, let's do this."

Lily's skin rippled as her wings opened up like a giant glider. Dana moved in front of Lily, allowing the succubus to hook her arms beneath Dana's.

"Are you making your boobs bigger?" Dana asked.

Lily snorted, then upped her cup size by another letter. "Maybe. They're airbags in case we crash."

"Airbags are supposed to be in the front."

"Then maybe you should turn around." Before Dana could respond, Lily stepped forward off the roof and wrapped her tail up between Dana's legs and around her waist like a harness. They flew silently across the short distance and landed on the outdoor patio of one of the upper levels. It was some sort of executive suite. Dana pulled a small pouch from her backpack and selected some shims to help bypass the locked door. Once the door was opened, they walked into a darkened dining hall.

"Where did you learn all this lockpicking stuff?" Lily asked.

"A lawyer on the internet." Dana stuck the pouch into the back of her waistband.