"O I forbid you, maidens all, that wear gold in your hair,
To come or go by Carterhaugh, for young Tam Lin is there."
-"The Ballad of Tam Lin," Traditional.
***
Halfway through the forest the carriage stopped for no reason and wouldn't budge an inch. Lady Astrid fanned herself as the coachman tried to get them going again. "What's the problem?"
"Can't say ma'am," said the driver. "It's like the wheels just don't want to turn."
"Wheels turn; it's what they do. Why should we stop for no reason?"
"Reason is overrated," said a voice. Lady Astrid screamed. There was a man in her carriage, a very young, very handsome, very well-dressed man, with his legs crossed and a rapier dangling in one hand.
"How did you get in here?" she said.
"Through the door," said the strange man. "It's a kind of moving panel over in the side here, makes getting in and getting out very convenient, you ought to try it if you haven't yet. Now madam, this is a robbery: If it's your first them then don't worry, I'll be gentle."
He held up a bag and pointed the tip of the sword at her. "Something the matter, ma'am?" said the driver.
"Not at all," said the strange man. "It's just a routine holdup. Stay where you are, unless you think the lady needs some ventilation. Now madam, your rings and bracelets and broaches." Lady Astrid deposited her jewelry into the sack. She added some candid comments about the robber's parentage, which he thought were a nice touch. "And the diamond. Don't forget that."
She held the ring to her chest. "But it's the symbol of my eternal fidelity and trust in my beloved husband!"
"Which is why I think it's very insincere for you to still be wearing it."
Lady Astrid went white, but she dropped the ring into the bag. "I know you," she said. "You're the one they call Tam Lin. The duke warned us about you: a thieving, roguish fairy."
" I may be a thief, and I may be a rogue, and I may be a fairy, but...well, anyway, it was nice meeting you. Give my regards to the duke."
Tam Lin sprang out the carriage window and sprinted for the trees. Lady Astrid yelled out the window, "You forgot your sword!"
"Keep it," said Tam Lin. "It's only a stick."
She looked. A moment ago it had been a sword, but now it was, indeed, a stick. She gnashed her teeth, jumped from the carriage, pushed the driver aside, and ran after him, hoisting her skirts over the brambles. Though it was late October, the forest was still as bright and lively as the spring in Carterhaugh: flowers bloomed, trees were heavy with fruit, birds trilled, and sunlight slanted warm and golden through the boughs. It was disgustingly pleasant. Lady Astrid cast around in the weeds and the brush, but saw no sign of the escaped fairy. It was midday and the shadows were very small, but somehow he'd slipped away into them. "Tam Lin!" she shouted. "Tam Lin!"
"Yes?" said a voice right next to her. She jumped. Tam Lin sat on a low tree branch, eating an apple and twirling her wedding ring around his finger.
"Give that back!" she said.
"I'm not sure you understand precisely how robbery works."
"You can keep the rest," she said.
"I can keep it all. It's a tax for coming through my forest." He jumped and landed right next to her, leaning in very close and sniffing her perfume. "Unless you'd care to pay the other toll?"
Lady Astrid backed away. "You keep your hands off me."
"What about my other parts?"
She clutched her fan to her chest. "The stories say you only do that to young, virginal girls."
"There are fewer and fewer young virgins every day, so I'm thinking of relaxing my standards. Come, come, we both know why you came this way. The duke put out a proclamation not a week ago warning everyone to stay away from Carterhaugh, and yet here you are."
"It was the fastest way," said Lady Astrid.
"You're coming by way of the glen. This forest detour adds two days on your trip for no reason. I know that Lord Astrid is in his eighties and deaf as a post so I can only imagine the bloom wore off that peach the moment it fell. And more importantly, you're wearing green."
She looked at her dress. "So?"
He touched her cheek. "You know what kind of woman wears green, don't you?"
She blushed. "I'd heard it was a color that fairies enjoy."
"We do. Principally because it doesn't show grass stains."
She threw herself on him and knocked him over. They landed in a patch of clover that he just happened to be standing in front of, and she rolled on top of him. "Well," she said, catching her breath, "I had to make it look good, didn't I?"
"And you look very good indeed."
"I wanted to see if the stories were true," Lady Astrid said, touching his face and running her hands over his chest.
"What do you think?"
"I don't know," she said, "I haven't verified the best parts yet. Help me out of my dress."
Back on the road, the coachman began to wonder how long he should wait before assuming that Lady Astrid was dead. It was getting dark, and the woods certainly seemed perilous. He heard what sounded an awful lot like wildcats screeching in the bushes.
"Ohhhhhhh!" said Lady Astrid. Tam Lin concurred.
They lay concealed by the tall grass, Lady Astrid's cloak spread out under them. Her dress was hanging from a tree branch, and the rest of her clothes had probably landed somewhere near the shore of the stream. He repositioned himself a little and slid back inside her, her thighs closing tightly around his body and her hips rolling up to meet his. There was a wavelike motion to their two bodies moving in tandem. He let her set the pace for a little while, reacting when she bucked underneath him and then only going half as fast as he could. She was sweating and flushed and hoarse, but he still looked immaculate. He never looked anything less than immaculate unless he wanted to.
They looked into each other's eyes, unblinking, and Tam Lin laid a kiss on her gasping lips every few seconds, a tiny touch of his mouth against hers, sucking in her panting breaths. She dragged her nails over his back. He responded by pushing into her harder, and she practically gushed in return, growing so wet that she overflowed. "Oh God!" she screamed. "Oh my God!"
"I'm not really comfortable with titles like that," he said. "But I appreciate the—MMPH!"
She grabbed his head and forced it to hers, tongue sliding into his mouth. Her body bent and she reached down to cup his backside, one cheek in each hand, as it gyrated and pumped up and down. "I'm going to, I'm going to—ohhhhhh!" Lady Astrid screamed again. Tam Lin thought she was a little verbose, but he guessed when your husband is stone deaf you don't really worry about such things. Back on the road, the coachman locked himself inside the carriage for fear that the wildcats might accost him. They sounded quite fierce.
Lady Astrid was up on her hands and knees now, Tam Lin behind her, tracing the length of her back with one fingertip before following the curve down her hip and to the underside, glancing over her naked thighs and then to the place where they meet. She seemed to have lost her voice for a bit, which Tam Lin decided was probably a good thing, as she was about to get a whole lot more worked up and he wasn't sure a racket was such a good idea this time of night. He began a steady back and forth, his hips bouncing off of her backside every time he went in, and as he reached under and cupped her breasts with both hands he increased his pace, each thrust just a little bit faster than the one before, each push just a little bit harder. Her arms went weak and she lay facedown with her backside arched in the air. Her cunt overflowed, running down her thighs, "Oh God!" screamed Lady Astrid, sounding hoarse.
"Yes?" said Tam Lin.
"Fill me!"
And he was, pumping streams into her, a hot, satisfying gush, one after another. He bit his lip and furrowed his brow as hard as he could. She kept shaking for a long time, and when he finally pulled out he fell backwards into the grass, with a sigh. He was looking up at the stars. He thought they looked better from Carterhaugh than anywhere else in the world. Not that he ever really went anywhere else than Carterhaugh anymore. But then, why would he, if there was no better place?
