Tdeh Ch 05

As Carter was about to mark her, Finn bucked wildly. "No!" She cried. She connected her legs with his chest and pushed him out of the shower with tremendous strength. Away from her. Carter flew back onto the ground. He cried out in surprise and pain, having landed hard on his tailbone. He shrieked out, "what in the fucking hells, Finn!?"

Finn pressed herself back against the shower wall and tried to make herself small. She covered her face in her hands and cried out again, "NO!" She pulled at her hair. She yelled for him to get out. She sounded unhinged. A complete shift from a few minutes ago. Carter didn't know how to feel or react. She had claimed him. She had marked him. Why was she acting this way?

He looked at her again, her face was changing. Her jaw elongated, and her eyes turned completely black. Her teeth began to grow as she hissed out again, "Get. Out." Her voice had changed, it was rougher, inhuman. Carter pushed himself backwards, scrambling from the bathroom door. He didn't understand, but his wolf screamed for him to run. His nose filled with a smell, a festering odor. It tickled the back of his memory as he ran out of the bathroom, past his father's bed and into the hall.

Arthur was just coming up the stairs, only planning on grabbing some clean clothes for the morning. He saw Carter, naked, run out of his own room. He had heard Finn cry out. He watched as his son ran into his own bedroom and slammed the door. The house seemed to reverberate as the door connected with the frame. Arthur didn't know what he was about to find. He quickly rushed into his bedroom. He ran into the on suite.

He saw a cowering pile, pushed into a corner of the shower. The water still falling on her, pooling on the floor, mixed with blood. She had ripped out parts of her hair, holding the clumps weakly as she sobbed. The blood was trailing down her face and neck. Arthur was unsure what to think. He moved towards her, slowly, and announced himself. "Finn..." he whispered. She looked up at him with round, red eyes. He grabbed a towel, turned off the shower and placed the fabric around her. "Honey...?" he said..

"Arthur, I am so sorry..." she wailed. He hugged her close, kissing the top of her head. "What happened? Are you okay? Is he okay?" Art wanted to go check on Carter, but he had never seen his old friend this way.

"I marked him, Art. I am so sorry," Finn broke down into sobs that racked her whole frame and Arthur just held her, rocking gently.

(2)

Finn woke up with a start, confused about where she was again. She shot up, gripping the bed. When the memories of yesterday flooded back into her mind. She groaned, falling back and pulled the blankets over her head. "What have I done?" she chastised herself. She needed to apologise to Carter. Reject him and leave. And never come back. Again, she reminded herself. Never come back again.

As she rolled over, pulling the blankets down, she ran a hand over her freshly shaved scalp. Arthur had carefully cut her hair last night, dressing her in his clothes and had put her to bed. Her head had healed during the night. She scratched at the stubble. "I should probably murder the council and Obeus..." she thought, bitterly. They had instructed her to carry the invitation to the Ironbloods. This was their fault. She sighed as she pushed the covers off her fully and placed her feet on the cold floor, wiggling her tattooed toes.

No. This was her fault. She was almost sixty four, she couldn't blame others for her impulsive choices. As she stood, the noise and life of the house filtered into the room. The pack was waking. She needed to leave. With a sigh, Finn grabbed her sweater off the wood floor and pulled it over her head, finally dry from the swim last night. Art could throw out the remainder of her clothes, she didn't care.

Taking a moment, she noticed old pictures and photographs of the pack, hung with care on the walls of her friend's room. Light grey walls with black frames with mats. She stopped at the wedding photo of Art and Leandra. They were kissing as she and Atticus made exaggerated faces beside them. Joy radiated through the still image. She glanced at the other photos of a life she was now a stranger to. Newer pictures were also placed around the various side tables and mantle of the small fireplace; pictures of Carter and the other pack pups growing up. Finn grabbed a picture of Art and what appeared to be Carter's first day of school off Art's side table. They were both smiling. She smiled softly at the image, happy they had each other.

As Finn carefully returned the photo to the table, she moved towards the door. She tightened the sweatpants, tying a knot, as she peaked out the bedroom door. The noise seemed to be coming from the dining hall and kitchen. She ducked out of Art's room and walked quietly to Carter's. She stood there, unsure of herself. Finally, she knocked. Quiet. No movement. She breathed in, the air filling her senses, smelling only the lingering presence of him. He wasn't there.

She sighed. "Good," she said to herself as she jumped over the banister, off the second floor to land with a thump in the entrance hall of the packhouse. The noise would probably bring others, so she quickly stepped out the door and closed it quietly behind her.

It was early morning. There was still mist coming off the lake. She loved this time. Finn slowly walked down to the water's edge and sat down. She scratched at her head again. The hair would grow, she didn't really care. It was just fresh; a strange feeling as the wind nipped her almost naked head. She heard laughter and shouting as stragglers made their way into the house from their evenings. Some of the pups looked at Finn, her scent throwing them off. She smelled familiar but unknown. They did not explore further, returning to their jokes and retellings of their evening adventures.

Finn stretched. She basked in the sun as it broke fully over the lake. She smiled. She needed to remember this, to solidify this moment in her memory, as she had no intentions of returning. She continued to stare at the water, the cool blue calmed her.

She closed her eyes and whispered out into the world, "I, Fionn Helmut, rogue of no pack reject you, Carter Amos Ironblood, future Alpha of pack Ironblood." She felt something tear in her heart, her very soul. She gripped her chest and hissed out with pain. At that moment, she heard a wild howl in the distance. Carter knew what she had done. The howling continued, wounded. Finn needed to leave.

She righted herself and tried to decide quickly between running or attempting to use magic. She knew very few spells, and hated magic since her conception. She did know the doorway incantation, the same one Eutus had cast to bring her here. She had only successfully cast it twice. Once without help. Finn cut her arm with her nails, flicking her blood into the morning air. An offering to seal the magical pact. Enchanters generally carried spell components with them but why bother when she rarely used magic and could make use of her own blood? The majority of enchanters required those spell components to cast their magics but when an enchanter became old enough, having submerged their life into the worlds ether long enough, their blood became the only component they needed. Finn had inherited this from her sire. The spell's words didn't make it past her lips.

"What do you think you're doing?" A familiar growl came from her left side. Fucking hells, it was Tom.

"Fuck right off, Tom. I'm leaving," she snarled.

"You smell like Carter," he said between clenched teeth.

"And you smell like shit, you old house cat." Her insult was weak, she bit back the instant shame of it. Thomas did hate cats though.

"Is that your best, beast? What did you do to Carter?" his voice held a warning, but Finn was not afraid of the old wolf. Or anyone. Except for herself.

"Really, Tom? Do you think you can beat me, dog?" she spat at him. She was angry and he was a good target. "Come on, old man. Let's see if you can do what your Luna and Beta couldn't." She was being vicious, cruel. She wanted a fight. She wanted to tear down the world, all the worlds. She wanted them all to hurt the way she hurt. She would start with Tom.

Finn began to transform. While young werewolves needed the moon to aid in their transformation, the elders did not. She had never and would never fully be a wolf and had never needed the moon. Its touch to her skin was a boon to her strength on those nights, though. Her body expanded; her muscles bulged. Her sweater began to rip at the seams. Her nails protruded from her skin, dark and sharp. Finn did not acknowledge the pain. Not this time. She growled into the air as her eyes grew black, "are you ready to meet death, Thomas, Delta of pack Ironblood?" She howled, screaming to the heavens. Saliva flew from her maw. Her clothes tore and fell to the ground as she took one lumbering step towards Tom. She towered over him. His face white with fear.

"Finn, no! Please," she heard Arthur's gentle voice as she took her eyes off her prey. The Ironblood pack had begun to filter out onto the porch and were staring at the scene. At her. She paused. All the young faces she didn't know, looking on with curiosity and fear as this unknown creature threatened one of their leaders. Arthur was slowly walking towards her and Tom. She instinctively stepped backwards. Trying to regain her control, she pulled air into her lungs. Breathing in and out as those yogis had tried to teach her. She smelt him. Carter.

She turned to her right, seeing him emerge from the woods. As Carter stared at Finn's transformed body, his eyes grew wide in recognition. He whispered "...I know you," to himself alone.

(3)

24 years ago.

Carter was running. His father and his officers had been away, leaving Carter and the other pups in the care of an enchanter. The majority of the other adults had been sent on other errands. The enchanter had created a false moon for them, curious if it would cause them to shift. Never a thought given to the ethicality of it all. Carter had been the only one to change into his wolf form, a surprise to them all. It felt natural, his senses improved. The moment he could smell the trees, he had been off. Screams of his caregiver fading in his ears. He ran through the woods, past the lake. Past all the markers that told him he was home, that he was safe. He needed to feel the wind pass through his fur. Adrenaline pumped through his tiny body. He ran for what seemed like hours to his young mind. Howling as he went. He stopped briefly to sniff a leaf and was back off, sprinting forward as fast as he could. No fear. No worries. Pure joy filled his being. His four paws thudded on the ground in alternating intervals, ignoring the rocks and roots that littered the forest's floor as he ran.

It wasn't until he caught the smell of other wolves, unfamiliar, that he knew he had gone too far. He was alone. Unsure where he was. He could retrace his steps home easily enough, if he had a moment to think and smell. The woods were dark. The trees created a canopy, blocking out the sun. His little wolf form shivered but not from cold. He didn't know this place. The trees felt alien, threatening. Darkness encircled him. Imposing odors.

"Hello, pup," words dripping with malice echoed out of the dank. Four large, black wolves moved out of the shadows to stand only feet away from Carter. He growled, as menacing as he could with his small frame. He puffed out his fur, attempting to appear larger. Their yellow eyes were set on him. They began to growl. "You have entered our territory, little one. And we do not allow others in our territory," said their leader, the largest of the four. 'Our' felt like a slap. There was enjoyment behind the threat of violence. For the first time in his life, he felt true fear.

"Don't be afraid little pup, it won't hurt... for long," they laughed, teasing him. Their cackles reverberated the air around him. As the wolves began to close the distance between them, to circle Carter, he caught a smell that was foreign to him. Decay. Corruption. Something else? A sweetness that was buried underneath the rot. A comforting aroma. His wolf whimpered in tandem with Carter, the small sound drowned out by the delighted cackles.

A low rumbling came from behind the terrified pup. The wolves stopped. They looked in the direction of the new smell and took an apprehensive step back. Unsure. Carter's breath caught in his throat. He was too scared to look. He scrunched his eyes closed, willing himself not to cry. He bared his teeth, clenching his jaw as tightly as he could manage. He made himself into a small form when he noticed the remaining light had faded from his closed eyes. Tentatively, he opened one and looked up.

Standing above him was a monster he couldn't truly fathom. It stood on two legs, like a human. It appeared genderless, missing the normal markers of a male or female. Its naked body was covered in spare, dark fur. It looked coarse and he wondered what it would feel like to touch. He thought it must be twelve feet tall, but his young mind simply couldn't put it to scale as he shivered beneath it. Its arms ended in large hands that sported long, sharp claws. They glistened wetly. They were black, much like the creature's eyes. The monster's jaw was elongated, protruding similarly to a wolf's face. The jaw hung open, a large tongue hung out on the right side. Its teeth were massive and appeared to already be bloody. He could smell the iron of vital fluid.

The creature had stopped so that Carter was nestled at its feet. It did not reach for him, never taking its eyes off the other wolves. Carter saw the other four werewolves had bristled. Growling loudly in its direction, moving into a defensive posture. Surely it wouldn't try to take on all of them he thought to himself.

A voice. Almost female. Guttural, like language was foreign to it, spoke. "You are mistaken, small wolf. This is my territory and it is you who are trespassing here."

The wolves growled louder, hissing and spitting in the direction of the creature they couldn't place. Their fur puffed up, like Carter's had when he had been prey. The creature barked out a laugh, a malevolent sound. "Run," was all it said to the wolves as it lunged forward, stepping over Carter purposefully. The wolves ran into the darkness and the creature cried in delight and pursued her prey.

Carter stayed quiet. He could hear screaming and tearing. He was too afraid to move. Howls of pain and terror filled the air. Crunching sounds caused his stomach to flip. He screamed at himself to run but he had no chance of out pacing the creature. Finally, there was silence. The wet sounds had stopped.

He heard the wind rustling through the leaves once more. There were no other noises he could distinguish. No birds. No normal woodland hum. A few minutes later, it reappeared from the darkness. He could hear its deep breathing. Ragged, perhaps injured. Standing just at the tree line, it looked at the boy. Blood pooled below it, falling from its mouth and claws. The sound of the blood hitting the ground shook Carter, he watched it. Drip. He looked up into the eyes of the creature after a moment, assuming it was his turn. Drip. Its breath was hot, he could see the steam coming from it. He waited for death. Drip.

"Go home, pup," was all it said. Its voice was still distorted and gravelly but it was softer than before. It gave him one final look before disappearing into the trees. Only the hint of the sweet smell lingered for a moment. It was over.

(4)

Finn heard Carter's words, echoing through their half-broken bond that she had tried so desperately hard not to feel. All of her rage melted away, leaving only disgust with herself.

"Carter..." Arthur started, taking his eyes off Finn and Tom. His son was standing in the sun, out of the shadows of the tree line. He was only wearing jogging pants and sneakers. Her mark stood out visibly on his shoulder, red and angry. He must have gone for a run, Art thought to himself.

"YOU MARKED HIM!" Screamed Tom, lunging at Finn. "How could you claim him after murdering his mother?!" She grabbed him out of the air with one arm and threw him hard into the lake. She hadn't been gentle, looking down to see her claws now had blood on them. There were murmurs coming from the crowd as they tried to understand what was going on and what the creature standing at the water's edge was. Some had shifted, fear rippling through the crowd. Finn heard Tom coughing and gagging from the water, slightly relieved she hadn't killed him.

Finn kept her eyes on the ground. "Ah, good," said to herself, "the truth is out."

"What...?" Carter asked with such hurt that Finn stopped breathing at that moment. She felt her heart breaking with his.

Finn raked her nails down, into her arm, again. Blood falling hot at her feet. The searing pain was a relief, something she could focus on. She had gone deeply to ground herself. She kept her eyes low, flicking the blood into the air as she began to speak the words of her spell. She felt the ether give to her command.

It didn't sound exactly like words, more like words if they were cursive as they left your lips. Her contorted voice didn't help. She finished softly and the doorway opened, shimmering like moist obsidian. Black with a purple hue. A mansion was visible through the portal. Topiaries and high manicured trees littered the lawn in front of the building. Finn stepped through; the portal closed behind her. She did not look back. Her large blood pool was an angry reminder on the wet stones of the shore.

(5)

Carter didn't know how to feel or what to do. So many things had happened in such a short time. He had found his mate. She had claimed him after some disagreements. And then she tried to reject him again. And now, she killed his mother? His head swam. His skin felt like it was on fire, causing him to feel sick. He didn't understand how any of this was possible. He felt anger rise up in him. He cast his father and the others an angry look. He was a fucking adult and tired of being treated so gingerly. He was a wolf for fuck's sake.

Run, his wolf bade him. Fly! Find mate! He turned back towards the woods, ignoring his pack calling to him. He shifted and ran into the trees. The darkness surrounding him. To think. And brood.

His father had found him in the forest hours later; sitting in the place all those years ago that Finn had rescued him. Carter had hoped to find her there. She knew he remembered. But the forest was devoid of her smell. The woods swayed and creaked quietly with the wind. Birds chirped and other creatures continued their normal routines. It was less dank and terrifying as a man rather than a child. He had never returned to this spot before. Never allowing the fear of that day to taint his love of these trees. To do that, he had buried the memory and kept clear.

He knew she wouldn't be here. Her spell had been to a large building, not a forest. He had sat there for hours, trying to understand all the feelings within himself. A vortex of emotion, ready to destroy him. Art had just sat with him. Saying nothing until Carter was ready to talk. He expected rage instead he only heard sadness. "Is it true?" Carter had asked finally.

Arthur cried and told his son what he had spent all those years hiding. How Atticus had wanted Finn only because of how strong she was, how intimidating. He was determined to lead his own pack and wanted her by his side. It was never about her. She didn't want anyone. She wanted to belong. Leandra had gone along with Atticus out of love for her older brother, blind to his ambition. She had loved Finn and wanted her as a sister. Wanted her to be tied to the pack, tied to her, not only Arthur. A bond Finn couldn't leave. Arthur believed they had all failed, it wasn't on Finn or his wife or even Atticus. Though had his Luna and his Beta listened to his command to leave Finn alone, none of this would have happened. He had stated she had the right to choose. He was angry at his wife. Only because he had spent so many years missing her. He left out Finn's self mutilation, fearing the reality would hurt his son too deeply.