Savior Alpha

Dear Readers,

Here is the next chapter in the McKenna/Winters pack saga.

Enjoy,

KemMyst

*****

Two years later

The Winters pack had been in existence for over two years. The six adults had fairly complementary skills. While winters were a little lean they still did better than some of the larger packs.

Their connection to the McKenna pack was strong. Visits, in either direction, were fairly common during the warm months.

Still, it was unusual for Eddy to come to the Winters compound, especially since Gwen was expecting their first, and due soon. Anne addressed her son as he came near. "Eddy, how are you?" She hugged him. "How's Gwen?"

"It's all good, Mom. I have to talk to Ethan." She took in the look on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"After I talk to Ethan, Mom."

"Edmund, answer me." Although the tone of command was in her voice, she was not his Alpha.

Regardless, he gritted his teeth a bit. "Mom, I need to talk to Ethan. Then I'll come find you."

Ethan came around the corner, being chased by three pups. He stopped short as Eddy turned. "Ethan. May I speak with you, privately?"

They walked off a distance and Eddy checked to make sure Anne wasn't in earshot.

"OK, Eddy, you've got me officially concerned. What's going on?"

"I have some bad news and I don't know how Mom's going to react. But I want you to be prepared to grab her."

"Eddy, what is it? What's happened? Is it one of you kids? The grandkids?" Eddy shook his head. "What then?" Ethan's voice was getting louder.

"Her mother has died."

"What?"

"We've kept track of her family over the years, especially while she was with us. We've just continued to do so. We just thought that she should know. The funeral is in two days. I expect she'll want to go. You know we can't let that happen."

*****

Anne was sitting, watching the two men talk while chewing on her thumb. Lorna came around the corner and found her. The pups had run off elsewhere to play. "Anne, what is it?"

She was staring at the two of them. "I don't know. He wouldn't tell me."

Lorna looked at them. They were intent and tense. They both looked briefly at Anne, talked some more, then turned and walked back.

Anne stood, tense herself, watching them approach. Lorna reached for her hand.

She was taking deep breaths, trying to maintain her composure. Eddy came to stand before her as Ethan wrapped his arms around her.

She looked at her son. "Oh, gods, Eddy, who's dead? Is it Callum? Not Sandra?"

"Mom, I'm sorry, but your mother is dead."

"My... my mother? Mom?"

Eddy nodded. Ethan held her a little more tightly. "When?"

"Yesterday." He could see her thinking.

"The funeral. I still have time, don't I?"

"You can't go, love."

"What do you mean I can't go? It's my mother!"

"No, Mom. Think. You can't go to the funeral."

She twisted in Ethan's arms. "Ethan, where are the keys to the Blazer? I can still get there in time."

"Anne, love. You know you can't go." She looked at him. "Your family thinks you're dead. What would happen if they saw you?" Her eyes widened. "The authorities might detain you to find out where you've been. Since you won't have aged like your siblings, the doctors might want to keep you, test you. And, worst of all, even if they didn't do that, they might follow you back here. Think of what could happen to your family, your children, if the humans come."

She closed her eyes, lip trembling. "Mom. Oh, mom." She opened them again, looked at them. "I just want to... Can't I... My mother..." She watched Evan chasing Grant and Rose in a game of Tag, Beth outside sketching the nearby pond, a pale wolf in the field beyond. She looked again at Eddy and Ethan kissed her. Her voice showed her emotion. "You're right. I'd be jeopardizing everything. I just wish I could go, see them."

"I understand. I'm sorry, Anne."

"Ethan?"

"Mmm. Yes?"

"Thank you. You can let go now." His grip loosened, although he kept his arms around her.

"Thank you for telling me, Eddy. How are things otherwise?"

"Gwen's doing good, betting it's a boy."

She smiled, her eyes a little wet. "I hope she's not disappointed. You're going to have a little girl."

"Really, Mom? You think so?" She nodded, smiling at the excitement in his eyes.

"Can you visit for a little while?"

"Sure, for a little while."

They sat and talked until Eddy started fidgeting. Ethan looked at him, smiling. "Go on. Get back to her."

*****

She slept very restlessly that night, rolling, twisting, making noises. Ethan tried to hold her, to quiet her, comfort her, but she fought him. She pulled away and it took him a couple of minutes to realize she was crying quietly.

He touched her shoulder, stroked her hair. He could tell her how sorry he was, that it would be okay, but she knew all that. It wouldn't help the way she was feeling right now. She was in pain and time was the only thing that would help. Time, and her friends and loved ones around her. He wrapped his arms around her again and held her, until she fell asleep.

He woke to find her gone, and panicked. He looked at the kids, then left the bedroom and started searching for her. "Anne! Anne! Where are you?"

The others stirred, emerging from their bedrooms. Ethan headed outside and started calling for her. "Anne!"

Emily found a note on the table and took it to Ethan. 'It's OK, I'll be back soon.'

"She wouldn't have gone to the funeral?"

"I didn't think so but... OK, everyone, I'm gonna see if I can figure out where she went." He went to wolf and started casting about for her scent. There were two problems, first, the morning dew, and second, her scent was everywhere. The others started looking and Lorna yelped when she found a recent scent and tracks leading away from the yard.

Beth and Nick stayed with the children. The other three took off, tracking Anne. They were more than halfway to the McKenna compound when Ethan realized where she's gone. He stopped, and so did Emily and Lorna. Emily shifted, as did Ethan. "She's going home."

"To Devon and Erich's grave. OK, I'm gonna follow a little longer, to make sure that's where she's gone. You may as well go back."

That was exactly where she'd gone, lying, curled up, on Devon' grave. Ryan had been sent out, to tell them where his mother was. Eddy and Callum knew Ethan would be worried.

Ethan went back home, content to leave her alone with her thoughts. She returned after a couple of hours.

She knew they came after her. "But, I left a note so you wouldn't worry."

"Now, read it from my perspective."

She looked at the note, looked at him, back at the note. "Oh. Oh. I see. I should have been more precise. I'm sorry I worried you."

He wrapped his arms around her and held her. "Ethan? Is your mother still alive?"

He took a big breath. "No."

"I'm sorry. When did you lose her?"

He buried his face in her hair. "A long, long time ago. Dylan probably wasn't more than a year old; I was close to three. She just...disappeared one day. No one was quite sure what happened. But I have my suspicions."

She turned in his arms, to look at him. "He wouldn't." The sad, resolute look remained in his eyes. "Ethan, you really think Ian would do that? To his mate? The mother of his children?"

The others now turned, paying much more attention to this conversation. Ethan pulled her closer, his voice now a little rough. "Dylan and I are the only two of his sons that have the same mother. All the others...well, one died in childbed, the others didn't last much beyond the births. He always liked them young, and pretty. But, as soon as they got pregnant they were repugnant to him. He wouldn't touch them, could barely stand to look at them."

"How many were there?"

"Four, officially, including my mother. Three of my four brothers have survived. The last couple, well, in listening to some of the women one day I heard that they had had miscarriages. One had at least a couple of them before she had my brother, Ryan. From what they said I think he would beat them after he found out they were pregnant, so they'd lose the baby."

"Why would any of the women ask him to be their mate?"

"Some of them for the change in status, I guess. Others cuz they thought it would be different for them; it wouldn't happen to them. One, I think, was more or less forced into it. But, my mother, I think actually loved him. And he, in his own twisted way, probably loved her."

"What was her name?"

"Evelyn."

"What did she look like? Do you remember?"

"Not too much. It's very hazy. Her hair was charcoal colored. Mostly I remember her eyes. They were grey, like mine, but a little darker. I remember she used to play games with us. I remember..," a big breath, "..she'd let us sleep with her, sometimes. She was warm and soft, and she smelled good."

*****

She was still restless the next couple of nights but then settled down again. Pack life returned to normal. However, as fall approached, the other adults noticed she seemed a little bit sad.

It's Lorna who decided to delve into the origin of her mood this time. They were up in the clearing, above the compound. The trees were oak and maple. Late summer flowers dotted the edges and the field below. "Okay, Anne, what's going on?"

"On? Nothing's going on, Lorna."

"C'mon. You've gotten all mopey all of a sudden. Something's going on."

Anne sighed. "It's nothing you need to worry about."

"OK, do you want me to sic Beth on you?"

"Lorna. I'm not sure you'll understand."

"Try me."

"Ethan wants more children. He's been talking about it a lot lately, now that Rose is older."

"So, what's wrong with that?"

"We haven't been careful, for months. Maybe I can't anymore."

"You're not that old. You're still having your monthlies. That means you can."

"You don't know that, nobody does. I wasn't born a wolf, Lorna."

"You shouldn't worry about it so much. It'll happen."

She poured all of her feelings, thoughts, and worries into her journal. He noted the increase in activity, the shift in her mood, and wondered how long he should let it continue before he confronted her. He had had her promise to talk to him. But, then again, that was before the others came. Before she ascended to Alpha.

'Ethan wants more children.' This line was separated from everything else on the page.

'I don't know what to do, how to tell him. I might be done.'

'Can I even have children anymore?'

'Even with the change to wolf, how long can I possibly keep pumping out babies?'

'Thirteen so far. Isn't that enough?'

'Here I am, trying to justify my infertility. Trying to find some way to believe it isn't my fault.'

'He wants it so much. How can I tell him he can't have it? That I doubt there will be any more children for us?'

'How do I dash his hopes, his dream of family?'

'What if it's not enough for him?'

'The challenges. What about them? What if I do become pregnant and then someone comes and I have to fight them?'

'I'm getting older. It's all working against me.'

''There are things I can try. Should I? Is it fair to the rest of the pack? Will it actually help?'

'Rose came so quickly. He has to think it'll be easy for us to conceive another child.'

'I'll have to make some sort of decision soon. Do I try something to make it more likely, or less likely?'

'I need to talk to Ethan about it. But I'm afraid.'

'Can I convince myself that it's going to be OK, that he won't be disappointed, that he won't feel differently about me now?'

*****

He had brought some things back from his last foray into town. It wasn't that their sex life was at all stale. Given the many years he hoped to have with her, they shouldn't be getting tired in a couple of years. But the claims on the packaging had him curious, so he had purchased a couple of items.

He loved her passion, the way she reacted, the way she felt. But, recently, things had changed. She was reluctant to initiate anything with him now and seemed apprehensive, and saddened the last time her period came. She had had a hard time telling him, not that she really had to. The smell of the blood told him before she did.

*****

It had been long enough now. While he had a good idea of what was bothering his wife, he was going to find out for sure.

He kissed her now, simply holding her and kissing her. She relaxed in his arms, leaning back into the strong, warm body of her husband. His arms were around her with his chin over her shoulder. He looked at Evan and Rose; Evan now bunked on the floor. He was big enough now to think about putting him in his own room.

"Anne. I love you."

She whirled in his arms, examining his face. "What's wrong?"

"That's what I want to know, love." He stroked her hair. "What are you worried about?"

She dropped her eyes. "You can't do anything about it."

He raised her chin, forcing her to look at him. She looked like she was about ready to cry. "Hey, I'm here, now. I want you to remember something. You promised me, when you asked to stay here, to talk to me." He pulled her close again. "Remember?" She nodded against his chest. "OK, I'm holding you to that promise now. I want you to tell me what's bothering you." Now the tears did start to fall. "You can tell me anything. I want to know why you're so upset."

Nothing from her.

He guided her to the bed, sat and pulled her back against him. "OK, so it's something about me, about us. I'm not letting you go until you tell me." She opened her mouth and, after a sob escaped, shoved the back of her hand against her mouth.

Finally, she sniffled. Her voice was filled with emotion. "You're really looking forward to having more children."

"Yes." There was excitement in his voice. Then he sobered. "Wait, you just had your period."

"Ethan, what if there are no more? What if I don't get pregnant again?"

He bit back a quick response as she might feel he was discounting her feelings. He chose his words carefully now. "I'm living a life I never thought I'd have. Two beautiful children. A strong, smart, beautiful mate that I'm in love with. It would be wonderful if we could have more children. But, right now, I have everything I've ever wanted."

He turned her head and kissed her cheek. "Why have you been worrying about this?"

"I'm not young anymore. We've been trying for a while now and, well, I'm not."

"Trying? We've just stopped being careful. You're still cycling. There's still time."

"Hormonal swings don't mean I'm still capable."

"And it's still entirely possible." He paused; she still wasn't buying it. "What do you think I'll do? Leave? Love you less?" He tightened his hold on her. "When I was trying to figure out how to get you to see beyond my family's name I talked a lot to Beth." Anne sniffled and smiled.

"My good friend who can't keep from trying to fix my life."

"Your good friend who wanted you to be happy again. It was when I learned about your great grandsire, things that happened after you were brought into the pack. The last thing I asked her was if it was safe for you to get pregnant again. After the trouble you had with Erich, I was worried what could happen, if you would have me. More than anything I wanted you, alive and well. And with me."

"I was willing to forgo children if I could have you. I'll still love you, and want you, even if we never have any more children."

"You say that now, but you'll be disappointed. The dissatisfaction will grow. When you think about what you might have with someone else."

"Why can't you believe something might go well? Quit beating yourself up. It will happen, or it won't. Stop worrying about what might or might not happen." He raised her hand to his lips. "I left this life. It was you that brought me back to it. I'm thankful for what I have."

"Anne, love. Are you happy? Here, now? With me?"

A big sigh. "Yes, Ethan. I am."

"Alright, then. Please stop worrying about tomorrow. Enjoy now with me." He tipped her face up towards him and claimed her lips.

She gave him a sad smile. "What?"

"You're channeling Devon again."

He laid her back on the bed, kissing her again and kissing the tears from her eyes. Taking her arms, he tied her wrists together and pulled them above her head. He leaned over her as he tied her to the bedrail. She took in the smell of him. She extended her tongue and it just barely touched his chest. He jerked, looked down and smiled, like he had a secret. "What are you up to?"

He grinned at her and, producing a small piece of hide, tied it over her eyes. Next he brought forth two longer strips. Tying them around her ankles, he spread her legs wide. "Now, I have you where I want you."

He pulled her shirt over her head. "Hmm, may have been a slight error in the steps here." She chuckled as he managed to get it high enough to give him access to her face and neck. "Quiet, you." He trailed fingers down her arms, her face, down her body to her skirt. He untied it and pulled it off of her. "Ah, there. Look at that!"

She squirmed in her bonds. "And all mine." She felt the bed shift as he backed down her body. She felt his warm breath on her pussy as he inhaled deeply of her scent, and her arousal. Her lips were swollen, reddened, glistening. "Mmm."

He pulled something from under the bed. It sounded like the box he kept there. He climbed back over her, his weight pressing down on her. "I found something at the store I'd like to try on you."

She swallowed. "Umm, okay."

"Relax, love." She was a little afraid of what he might have come up with, could't hear or smell anything different. He'd covered her again, kissing her, working a trail of wet kisses over her face, her neck, her throat, her collarbone. Her breathing deepened and her heart rate picked up. As he moved down to tease her nipples her hands strained against the bonds that held her.

Her back arched as she exhaled, "Ooh!"

Farther south, he was sucking the flesh below her breast. Her head twisted and he took the opportunity to suck the hollow under her ear. He nipped at her earlobe while his hand caressed her thighs. She squirmed as he dragged his fingers past her wet opening. As she moaned he stuck those fingers in her mouth. As she sucked her own juices off his fingers he asked, "Are you ready?"

She groaned, squirmed. He dragged his teeth over her breast, her nipple. She gasped, breathing heavily, straining against the ties that held her.

Ethan now settled himself between her thighs, and she felt his strong hands on them, thumbs rubbing the sensitive inner thighs. He gazed on the wet, engorged flesh nestled between them, inhaling deeply. She groaned and shifted her pelvis, pleading silently for the release from the ache in her belly.

His tongue touched her and she moaned loudly. She then began panting when she heard both Evan and Rose shift. Her chest was heaving as Ethan's tongue continued to stroke that soft, warm, wet flesh. It finally glided past her quivering clit and she jerked, biting her lip, whimpering.

Ethan drew away and she heard a cap snap open.

His fingers touched her now, holding her in place as he smeared something on her clitoris. Blowing on it he asked, "What do you feel?"

"Slick," panting.

He rubbed lightly. "Anything else?"

Squirming again. "Aah. Oh! Uh, tingling."

"Hmm, interesting." He rubbed more. Her breath came raggedly as she twisted under his hands. He continued to work her clit, while pushing two fingers inside her. Sucking in a breath, her muscles clenched around them as her neck arched and she tried to bring her hands down. Her chest heaved as he pulled his fingers out and pushed his cock in. She gasped and those muscles twitched around him. He groaned.

He shifted his hips and sank down on her, then began pounding in and out. Her muscles tensed on each stroke in, getting stronger. He locked his lips onto hers and she shrieked into his mouth. The waves of pressure showed him the intensity of her orgasm. He managed one more push in before he erupted, her pussy milking him of everything he had.