Why Angels Hate Humanity

The world is a mad place, folks. Seriously. Sometimes I think it would be a good thing if the planet Earth were destroyed. Then I stop to think about what a colossal waste that would be. Because the world doesn't belong solely to the human race. There are countless animals and plants that thrive here too. Don't these life-forms have a right to live? I think so. That's why I've decided to spare the planet and only kill the human race. God's special little creature faces extinction. And since God left Heaven to embrace the Void, time is running out for the human species.

My name is Azrael. Does the name ring a bell? Of course not. In all likelihood you're human and thus limited in intelligence. You don't know who has the true power in the universe these days. Let me clarify things for you. The Archangel of Death. And I will bring about the end of you and everything you know. It's my sacred duty as decreed by the Princes of Heaven. And I want you to know that I do it happily. It's been a long time coming.

Anyone looking at me would see a six-foot-three, lean and muscular man in his early thirties with light brown skin, curly black hair and pale gray eyes. Clad in a black leather jacket over a red silk shirt, black jeans and black boots. That's how I chose to appear when I descended upon the world. Angels are immortal spiritual beings. We can look like anyone, man or woman, black or white. We're not flesh and blood, but spirit. That's what we were in the beginning and that's the way we will always be.

Standing beside me are the Angels Yael and Mael. The first one has the appearance of a thirty-something Caucasian male, standing around six feet four inches tall, broad-shouldered and muscular, with long red hair and pale blue eyes. The second is a twenty-something Asian woman, standing six feet tall, slim, with light bronze skin, pale green eyes and long black hair. Like me, they wear black leather jackets, crimson shirts and black pants. For you see we are not Messenger Angels. We are the Mazzikim, the Angels of Destruction. Sent by the Archangel Metatron, Viceroy of Heaven, to wipe mankind from the face of the planet Earth.

I can't tell you how much I relish this duty. I've been aching to do it for the past ten thousand years, but the Lord in Heaven told me not to. And not even the most powerful Angel in the Kingdom of Heaven will disobey our Father. I don't understand what the Lord sees in these creatures. The humans are a pitiful bunch. Limited in intelligence, limited in knowledge and limited in lifespan. Yet He lavished His love upon them. Many Angels in Heaven think He lost His marbles to care so much about these talking apes but we held our tongues. For you see, where I come from, anyone who questions the Boss gets a one-way ticket out of the Kingdom. It doesn't matter if you're a powerful Archangel or a lowly Guardian Angel. You are out of there. Forever. No second chances. Sounds harsh, right? Welcome to the life of an Angel.

Does it surprise you pathetic humans that we Angels hate your guts with a fiery passion? It really shouldn't. We've been told to look after you for tens of thousands of years. Protecting you from yourselves while you made a fine mess of the planet Earth which the Lord so kindly gave you. No Angel has a private place to call his own. We don't own property. We don't own anything. We can't have anything. Our entire existence revolves around serving the Lord. All of His love and all of His attention He gives to the men and women of the human species. He couldn't care less about the loyalty and love we Angels feel for Him. He cares more about the lowliest of humans and the most wretched of human souls than he does about the most loyal of Angels.

Well, I got news for you, dear men and women of the world. God is gone. He left the Kingdom of Heaven. He left Creation itself and embraced the Void, the place outside of the Universe. Where time and space have no meaning. He might as well be dead. No one comes back from the Void. The Void is beyond the stars and the galaxies. Beyond the comets, the meteors and the asteroids. Beyond the clusters in which the galaxies are contained. Beyond existence itself. And guess what? If He's over there, then He won't be around to protect you people. Which mean we're going to get rid of the whole lot of you pathetic humans once and for all.

Ah, I can't wait. Looking around, I breathed the air. The planet Earth has changed since my last official visit. I remember standing in the middle of the ruins of a city where thousands of men and women lay dead. It was during the American Civil War. Humans slaughtering each other over questions of race, and freedom. For centuries, skin pigmentation determined whether a person was truly human, or a beast of burden. White was in style and black wasn't. For this, countless humans died. Killing each other because of skin color, eye color and hair color. Senseless slaughter. I really think my Father lost His mind when he bestowed so many gifts upon the talking monkeys of the human species. They don't deserve half of what He's given them.

Walking beside me, Mael points an unusual sight to me. Something which surprises him. A tall black man walking around holding hands with a blonde-haired white woman. He isn't in shackles and she isn't holding a leash. Apparently, they're not master and slave but rather, a couple. Wow. Things have really changed since I last set foot on the planet Earth. Black people were slaves. Women of any race couldn't vote. And the human race didn't have computers, cell phones, helicopters, airplanes and all those other modern wonders. Yael marvels at an airplane flying overhead, and she smiles for the first time in a millennium. Wow. I was almost impressed.

I pick up a newspaper, and read about the nation's first black president signing a law in favor of stem cell research. America has a black president? Wow. I never thought I'd live long enough to see that happen, and I am immortal. Has mankind changed? Have humans lost a bit of their bigotry, prejudice and misanthropy? I dare not hope. For hope is the cruelest of all things. Next to woman, that is. Of course, as I looked into the world of the humans, I saw that not much had changed. Men and women of all races were still playing their power games. Father against mother. Sister against brother. Parent against offspring. Friend against friend. Countryman against foreigner. Kingdom against kingdom. Woman against man. White against black. Rich against poor. That's the way things always were. And that's the way things always will be. Unless someone changes things. I will. I will put an end to racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia and misandry ( hatred of men ) by wiping out all humans. That's my way of ensuring World Peace.

My fellow Angels and I head to the city of Boston, Massachusetts. It's one of the oldest cities in the United States of America. It's also where a husband-and-wife team of scientists are working on a cure for cancer. In spite of their technical knowledge, the humans are still dreadfully primitive. Every Angel knows all the secrets of Mother Nature. What heals and what kills. And we would never tell any of it to the humans. Invisible to the human eye as well as to cameras and all electronic security devices, Yael, Mael and I enter the halls of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. We head to the offices of Dr. Alexander Hartford and Dr. Alicia Brown Hartford. Right next to the Cancer Research Institute.

In the lab, the doctors and their teams are busy little bees. Too busy to pay attention to their dogs, Marquis and Lucky, as the lovable mutts start barking. You see, animals can see Angels and Demons. Nothing we can do about it. Humans can't. The dogs see us and sense our intent. They start barking. The humans tell them harshly to be quiet. I smile, as do Yael and Mael. We make our way to the vials containing a very special viral agent. Someday, it might cure Cancer. If only the humans knew what to add to it in order to strengthen its efficiency. In its current state, it won't do more than slow the disease down, not kill it. I smile, and add something to it. The essence of a bacteria found deep below the earth. Where no human has ever been. It mixes with the viral agent, and a new virus is born. I let the vial fall to the floor.

Immediately, the humans turn around. They see the vial on the floor but can't figure out how it got there. One of them kneels and picks it up. She cuts herself on the broken glass. Painful mistake. Two minutes later, she's writhing on the floor, screaming her lungs out as her body convulses. She bleeds from the mouth, the nostrils and the eyes. Her friends order the lab on lockdown and try to help her. To no avail. The virus is airborne, and it's left the building.

Thirty minutes later, thousands of men and women across the MIT campus fall dead. The police place the campus under quarantine. The state's first black governor speaks on TV to reassure the panicked populace. To no avail. Across Boston, humans are dying. The males and the females. The pretty ones. The ugly ones. The skinny ones. The chubby ones. The rich ones. The poor ones. The gays. The lesbians. The straight people. The bisexuals. The transsexuals. The blacks. The whites. The Asians. The Hispanics. The Middle-Easterners. The biracial people. The virus spreads beyond the city, and within six hours, it has killed eighty percent of the human population of Massachusetts. The rest of New England falls eighteen hours later. The next day, the United States of America has fallen. Over three hundred million people, all dead.

Three days later, all human beings on the planet Earth have died. As for the men and women on the space station orbiting the planet, they will die a slow, painful death as they are starved of oxygen, food and water. My fellow Angels and I return to the Kingdom of Heaven. Victory is ours. Across the universe, Angels rejoice. For humanity is dead. The Lord is gone. And we are free at last. Free to make our own destinies. Free to live. Free to be whatever we want to be. We're immortal, and have been around since before the dawn of time. Yet this is the first time any of us has ever felt happiness. At last.