You're not sure how to resolve your conflicting feelings, neither yours nor his. The most glaring issue is that everything about the experience of his orgasms disturbed him. He refused to come until he met you, where he confided in you that he actually wished that he could.
It took some time to work up to it but you developed a way to help facilitate him doing just that.
You love helping him.
Encouraging him, coaxing him, milking him for all that he's worth. For all that you're worth.
He trusted you without end but it weighed heavily on you each time you both got into the rhythm of jerking him off. You loved the process but he still felt so fundamentally alarmed by his own body that it at times felt wrong, it felt like you were inserting the rod while bucking your strapped hips for yourself alone, it felt like anyone outside looking in might see you as someone looking at a bug in a jar; engaging in this process solely for your own fascination.
You could find ample reassurance most of the time, when he chittered his mandibles across your throat after such an escapade, whining, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
When he would praise you while inserting his fingers one at a time into you while you rubbed and rutted your slickness against his hand. As though it were a call and response--when you asked, "More," he'd oblige with another finger to stretch you further until you could almost no longer take it, but what would cause you to melt into his hand while panting and moaning was when he would say to you, "you're doing so good for me."
The outstanding conflict was that he wanted to try to come whole in an effort to collect the valuable sperms, but your initial efforts at getting more information and your preliminary experiments have all ended in absolute failure.
He was miserable.
You desperately want to rise to the occasion and figure out a way to do this but you wonder more and more why he wants to subject himself to it instead of the procedure that would remove the large orb-like masses. He could come freely and without any inhibition, but he insisted that he try this first.
You didn't want to try to prod him towards any one direction, strip him of autonomy, but you don't know what good it is doing for either of you for him to grow into feeling animosity towards you.
He almost managed to sit through the passing of one of the globular masses of cum so that you could see what it was like, what you were working with. You saw how the tip of his cock began to part, the thick and gelatinous green-blue membrane beginning to peek through and push against. He nearly launched his entire body away from you while making the most awful and saddening noise out of completely untethered discomfort.
"I don't want to do this right now."
"It's okay, it's okay. You don't have to but you need to stay still for a little bit more."
You grabbed the nearby rod and let it slowly puncture the sack of ooze. This bit spilled out of him, he shuddered but it was completely devoid of pleasure. Your eyes get watery while you let gravity take over and just make sure to guide it to spear the ones that remain within.
You chance a kiss at his neck, he doesn't shake you away but his body feels so tense. It makes your eyes glaze over more, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"It isn't your fault, I wanted to try this."
He sounded shaken and distant, you both felt emotionally drained and defeated but knowing that it was doubly so for him made you feel inadequate. You shouldn't have tried this right now, not like this.
He joylessly unloaded into the prepared container, entirely reduced down to being as procedural as clearing your throat in the shower. You thought that he would get up and bolt out of the room but he didn't, he leaned into you so that you would hold him.
"I don't want to give up. Not yet."
You desperately clutch at him; when you kiss him without trajectory, you slip along his beautifully sleek and smooth exoskeleton.
"You'll hate me."
He pleasantly chitters across you, "I won't."
When you bubble into a cry, "But you will," he scoops you while he rolls back. He could lean on you for some time but if he got too comfortable and lost focus, he'd end up pinning you down if not altogether crushing you. You nuzzle into the sift part of his throat but you still feel frustrated and weak. "You don't have to comfort me... I keep hurting you."
"No, you're helping me."
It doesn't feel like it.
"I only want to make you feel good. Pleasured. I don't like making you miserable."
"Please keep trying with me. I'm sorry that you're caught in the crossfire, but I promise that I don't hate you. I love you! You do make me feel good! You make me feel so good, I've never been able to come before." He rubs his hands along the back of your body, now he's the one with a desperate embrace. "Just the once. I just want to be able to once, and afterwards I will consider the procedure."
Your hands find another pocket of tender flesh that connected his plates on his side. You massaged into it, causing him to make a pleasant, needy, noise.
"If a procedure like that exists in the first place," you tried to navigate carefully. "Would they maybe know a way to alleviate your discomfort?"
"No... I have asked."
He leans in over your shoulder, your necks touching closely. He's silent for a bit but you can feel him breathing, you can feel his throat preemptively move before he's ready to talk.
"The procedures are more to prevent unwanted carrying, for partners of those that are able to. To prevent uncomfortable filling, for those that cannot. Such as with human partners."
You wished that you were filled.
Filled so tightly to the brim you had to exercise all control that you possibly had with your pelvic muscles to not let a single part of him spill out. But you would always keep this to yourself, for his sake.
So you set on the following weeks to figure out a way to design a method, while keeping discrete and indirect.
There were videos online, more often featuring one prominent figure: Orion Mar. His pseudonym, but it was a name widely known.
He was featured in many kinds of videos; ones where you could watch him take humans from behind, both vaginally and anally, stuffing them until they whined out. The camera would always be sure to pan in so that you could see whichever private bulge out, his nearly tennis ball sized sperms challenging almost everyone to stretch to their outer limits.
