"You've definitely seen too many of those spooky movies of yours," Cheryl chided, her eyes rolled up in mock disdain.
"Hey, you're the one who said you wanted to do it in a haunted house, remember?" I replied matter of factly, as my wheezing old Buick bucked and heaved up the winding, overgrown dirt driveway.
"Yeah, but that was before I found out this so-called haunted house of yours was a real place....and located a hundred miles from any known civilization. And the name of this mountain...what did you call it...Snake Hill?"
"Yup....Snake Hill. And those creepy woods we just came through were the Vails Gate woods. Kinda sounds like a home for witches, doesn't it? Oooooooo.....spoooky," I kidded.
"Oh, wonderful....a mountain full of snakes and witches. This is gonna be real sexy."
I could see Cheryl wasn't getting into the proper mood, so I reassured her, "Oh, yeah, hon...trust me...this is gonna be sexy with a capital 'S'. You just wait and see." I flashed my most lecherous smile, and was pleased when she returned it in spades.
"Besides," I continued, "once we get started you won't be worrying about names...except mine, of course, which you'll be screaming."
"Ha! Don't flatter yourself, Don Juan. Let's just see if you can keep me awake this time!" Ahh, my lady's wonderful sense of humor. Cute, isn't it? And she laughed with self-congratulation when I cringed and replied, Ouch...my ego lies bleeding."
As my old car bounced closer to the somber estate, Cheryl's face showed a curious mixture of disappointment and relief as her pretty blue eyes focused on the looming iron gate before us. It was ten feet tall if it was an inch, and it was held firmly shut by a huge iron chain and a formidable looking lock.
"Um...hon....I hope you have a key for that thing in your pocket. It appears that puppy is locked up good and tight,"she said, not
knowing whether to be happy or sad.
"Oh, shit," I said, "that gate was never locked when I was a kid. It was never even shut!"
"Well it is now, junior. So, unless you have a key to it, our little tryst is over before it begins."
Angrily, I shoved the groaning gearshift into park and got out of the car, stomping over to the rusting obstacle to my lust. I looked down at the huge lock that was the size of both my hands together. It was indeed locked. I tugged on it, hoping that it had rusted through and would crumble to nothingness in my hands, and then Cheryl and I would continue on unimpeded. If an inanimate object could laugh, then it was indeed doing so, belittling even my most ferocious attempts to shatter its hold on the huge chain binding the gate. In frustration, I gave up, snarling epithets under my breath.
By now, Cheryl had joined me at the gate, a supportive but sad look in her eyes. She realized how much this little love getaway meant to me, and sympathized with my frustration at having it end here after so many hours of driving into the sticks. She stood next to me and reached out her hand to mine in a soothing gesture.
No sooner had her hand clasped mine than we both heard a low, squeaking groan. The horizontal chain held captive by the lock slackened, dropping about a foot at the center of the gate. The reason for this was that the stubborn lock had suddenly given way, the right side of it's locking bar shattering into a spray of rust. There was a slight hesitation, another metallic moan, and then the lock fell away completely, it and the chain clattering dully to the dirt and rocks below.
Cheryl and I blinked, astounded and disbelieving. She had seen me tugging for all I was worth on the resistant lock, and was as shocked as I when it crumbled on it's own. We hardly had time to ponder these odd events, however, because suddenly, a strong breeze kicked up, blowing on the now unlocked gate. With a final gasp of capitulation, the chain uncoiled snakelike and dropped heavily to the ground at our feet. In an instant the two halves of the gate squealed open, creaking inward slowly with a baleful moan. Apparently, admittance was ours if we wanted it.
Still blinking, Cheryl and I stared into each others eyes, unable to believe any of it had happened. I'm not sure if my memory is accurate on this point, but I believe it was Cheryl who smiled first. It had hit us both...the tryst was on! We scampered back to the car, sliding ourselves onto the worn seats with renewed hope.
But we were still in awe of recent events and it was Cheryl who spoke first.
"Wow," she said softly, "that was way too spooky."
At first all I could reply was, "Very cool," but then added, "Well, what would you expect from a haunted house?" Even though my remarks were flip, a chill danced along my spine. I drove through the beckoning
iron gate, and could swear I heard a softly whispered "welcome" in the slowly dying breeze.
We had to jounce along about another half mile of torturous dirt road before we could see the old house clearly. Every foot closer we got to the neglected estate Cheryl's face curled more and more into a mask of doubt and distaste. For myself, I was remembering a similar summer day many years earlier, when a gawky, impressionable teenager visited this place for the last time....or so he thought.
Cheryl noticed something in my expression and asked, "Were you serious about that? I mean, that seance you say you had here as a kid? Was that real or were you just yanking my chain?"
I tried to play it up light. "Oh, yeah, it happened....but we were crazy kids...who knows, maybe we all imagined the whole thing."
"I'm sure you did," she answered, "You always did have quite an imagination." Then she leaned over and kissed my cheek, adding, "And a good imagination is a wonderful thing in a lover." Before moving away from me she gave my earlobe a light nip, sucking on it ever so briefly. I stepped just a little harder on the gas pedal.
Finally approaching the massive, ancient building, I looked around for a safe place to park the car. Everything was overgrown, and finding the least rubble-strewn and briar-choked area on which to trust the placement of worn tires was quite a trick indeed. I finally managed to find a spot that I felt wouldn't end up
leading to four flat tires, and I crossed my fingers and parked. Both the tires and the engine sighed with relief. We sat there a few minutes, taking it all in, the overgrown estate, the decaying building, and something
intangible that hung in the air.
"My God," Cheryl sighed, "how long has this place been like this?"
"As long as I can remember. Probably been like this since even before I was born. No one seems to know much about the original owners. But this is the way I've always remembered it...almost like it's a
photograph...never changing. Well, except for that gate," I winked, "C'mon...let's go inside."
She seemed a little nervous, so I tried to joke a bit about what was to come, to ease her doubts. I told her that this would be the first time she'd been raptured in a haunted house. As soon as I made that statement, Cheryl's sarcastic side came out, not able to resist commenting on the "rapture" part of my claim.
"If I don't fall asleep with you on top of me, I'll consider this a good day," she barbed, faking an exaggerated yawn. She smiled slyly, leaned over to kiss me on the lips and said, "Okay, let's do this." She got out of the car, opened the back door on her side, and leaned in to get the food and sundries we'd brought along.
I did likewise, going to the back door on my side to help. We each grabbed what was closest to us. Besides the blanket, the basket of food and the cooler, there was my own little special bag of "goodies", which I made sure I got to before Cheryl did. Some of the items in that bag she didn't even know I'd brought, and I wanted to keep it that way. After all, she loved surprises, and I loved giving them.
As we trudged across bits of crumbled plaster and rocks, pushing clinging, tangled vines away from their guardposts in front of the big wooden door, Cheryl again seemed to be having second thoughts. I assured her everything would be fine. I even held up my bag of goodies, admitting I had some surprises for her...ones I
was sure she'd like. This piqued her interest, and she put aside her doubts, at least for the moment. She wanted to know what was in the bag, but I held firm in my resolve not to tell her. And although she was feigning deep disappointment at my not telling her, I could tell she was secretly enjoying the mystery, and inside she was simmering with anticipation. Still, she pouted sexily when I told her the only way to discover