Lovable Beautiful

"You don't like to make much eye contact do you?" Kristin asked, opening her bottle and taking a long drink of its cool contents.

I looked back at her, trying to meet her eyes to disprove what she'd said, but I had to look away because of the knowing look on her face. She took another drink and then screwed the cap back on the bottle. I sighed, trying to think of something to do or say.

Kristin giggled, "You're funny."

Dumbfounded, I actually tilted my head and raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out what about me that was humorous. This caused her to laugh again. "Why am I funny?"

"Because you're so concerned about the way I see you that you forget to look at yourself. I doubt you're as bad a person as you think you are." Kristin said this like it was a well-known fact.

I knew I could change her mind if I really wanted to, but I decided to just let her think highly of me while she still could. I was sure it wouldn't last long, why not enjoy such a rare occasion? I couldn't remember the last time someone had said something like that to me, anyway.

"You don't believe me, do you?" Kristin asked, taking a step closer to where I stood.

"I was going to kill you, Kristin." I said, hoping she understood that I meant it.

"You didn't."

"Yes, I know that. But that doesn't change the fact that I was going to. I didn't give a shit who you were, what your name was. All I saw was a nice body that I wanted to fuck and then suck dry." I tried not to sound like such a bitch.. I did, anyway.

"Well, you fucked me, but you didn't suck me dry." Kristin said, crossing her arms, bottle still in hand.

"You told me to stop." I said, not quite understanding why this girl was trying so hard to make me seem better than I was.

"Because you told me to." Kristin pointed out, eyeing me until I gave up and looked away once again.

"What about all the one's I didn't tell?" I asked quietly, waiting to see what she would come up with this time. I hoped she'd just give it up and realize that I wasn't who she thought I was.

Kristin's eyes grew sad and the slight smile faded. "Amanda, we've all done bad things. That doesn't mean we're all bad people."

"I don't' want to argue with you." I said, shaking my head in slight frustration.

"Amanda?" Her voice was quiet.

I waited for her to continue.

Kristin sat her bottle down on the counter. Her right hand went to her forehead while she used the left to grasp the counter tightly. I could see confusion in her eyes as she struggled to keep her balance. Kristin looked to me, a million different questions written on her face.

"What?" I asked, watching her closely.

"I.. Don't know.." Kristin mumbled, releasing the counter from her grasp and removing her hand from her forehead. She blinked a few times and took a deep breath. "I don't feel good."

She took a step forward and lost her balance. I was quick to catch her before she landed on the hard linoleum floor. Kristin stared up into my eyes, still lost. She had no idea what was going on.

"Kristin, you're hungry." I told her. I should've already had some blood ready for her. She'd have to take from me again until she was strong enough to feed from her own victims.

I sat down on the floor, helping Kristin down with me slowly so she wouldn't fall. She leaned into me and gulped. "So I need to drink blood now?"

"Yeah, but I don't have any human blood stashed right now so you'll have to drink mine." I told her.

"Won't that hurt you?" her voice was tired.

I didn't answer her, just pulled her into my lap so that she could drink from my throat. My wrist would work, but it would take longer and I wanted to hurry the event along. It feels weird.

Kristin pressed her mouth against my throat, probably wondering why my skin wasn't cold. I closed my eyes and waited for her to bite me. After a few seconds passed and she hadn't done so yet, I asked what was wrong.

"I don't want to hurt you." she answered, quietly.

"I'll be okay." I reassured her.

"Okay." Kristin pressed her lips to my throat again. She kissed my skin lightly, sending shivers down my spine. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the feeling she had caused. When she bit into me my eyes popped open and I had to strain not to push her off of me.

I could feel the blood leaving my body. The feeling was strange; while it didn't really hurt, it didn't not hurt, either. It almost felt good in a masochistic way. My body eventually relaxed and instead of continuing to hold Kristin so that she could feed, she ended up holding onto me, her embrace tight.

When my vision began to blur I knew she'd had her fill. I would have to tell her to stop now before I got myself into the same position she'd just been in. "Kristin.. You have to stop." I was surprised I was able to speak at all.

A few seconds later Kristin was able to pull away from me, closing my would instinctively with a brush of her tongue. Afterwards neither of us bothered to get up, we just stayed where we were. I didn't mind, I wasn't sure I'd be able to walk straight anyway.

Sam's warm tongue in my face startled me out of my daze several moments later. I had forgotten he was even in the room. He was used to seeing this sort of thing, but usually I wasn't the one being fed upon. I'm sure had he realized it sooner that Kristin would have a few wounds of her own.

"Hey, boy." I smiled at him as he tilted his head.

"Are you okay, Amanda?" Kristin's voice was worried.

"Yes, I told you I would be." I answered.

Kristin got to her feet and helped me to my own, making sure I wasn't going to fall before letting go of me. I found this humorous since moments before it had been she who needed help standing. I was light-headed and it took a moment for me to be able to walk out of the room to find my cell phone.

I picked up the phone and flipped it open. I hit the one and then talk. Jackson was first on speed dial for times like this. "Jack?"

The voice on the other end was shaky but it was nothing new. "Yeah, you need some?"

"At least four bags. ASAP." I closed the phone and sat it back down on the table in front of the couch. I sat down and Kristin sat down beside me, eyeing my hands for some reason.

I looked at my hands to see if something was visibly wrong with them. When I couldn't figure it out I met Kristin's eyes. "Why are you staring at my hands?"

"Because they're shaking. You said you were okay." Kristin said, her brows pulling together slightly.

I blinked, not understanding why she cared so much. "I am."

Doubt was very clear on her face but she didn't' say anything else about it. She did, however, take hold of my hands in her own and softly massage some warmth back into them. It was strange to feel like maybe someone cared, after all. I couldn't look at her eyes so instead I focused my attention on the TV screen. It hadn't been turned on yet today but at least it was something else to look at.

When there was a loud knock on the door several minutes later I had to stifle a scream. I had been so lost in thought I had forgotten I'd told Jackson to drop by. Kristin let go of my hands and I stood to go answer the door.

Jackson was standing there nervously, his trench coat nearly swallowing him whole. His arms were crossed over his chest tightly and he was itching at his arms. He met my eyes but only for a split second. He knew what I was. I stepped aside and let the thin man inside.

Once he was in I closed the door and locked it. I didn't bother to introduce the man to Kristin because with any luck neither of us would have to see him very often after this occasion. I left him standing in front of the door and went into my room to get the money.

I returned with four twenties in hand. "What do you have?"

"I got two O's and three AB's." he answered quickly, his eyes darting all around the room. He hadn't bathed in days and his teeth looked like they would fall out of his skull any second. His skin was dirty and there were scratch marks from times when he was out of his drug of choice.

"Give me the O's and two of the other." I held out the money as he pulled the blood bags from inside his coat. We traded at exactly the same time, which was the way we had done it every time. Neither of us trusted the other even though I knew he wasn't stupid enough to try and screw over a Vampire. Especially since we provided him with his meth if he behaved like we expected him to.

You see, the way we go about things with blood and drugs is very business-like. The head Vampires around this area have hired humans that they pay to donate them blood. The blood they collect is then separated amongst drug addicts who sell it to the Vampires in need of it. The money the addicts make is turned in to the main Vamps who use it to make the drugs that they pay the druggies with. It sounds complicated.

"You can go." I mumbled, waiting for him to do so.

Jackson didn't need to be told twice and was out the door quickly.

I handed Kristin one of the bags and walked into the kitchen, nearly tripping over Sam, who had apparently been watching Jack from the doorway, ready to attack if he needed to.

I caught myself on the doorframe but dropped one of the three bags I'd been carrying. Luckily it didn't bust on the floor, it just ended up landing on top of the already startled dog. Sam scrambled to his feet and made his way clumsily to the other side of the kitchen. I sighed and let myself lean against the frame, closing my eyes.

"You're not okay." Kristin grumbled, more to herself than to me. I opened my eyes and finished making my way to the refrigerator. Pulling open the door, I tossed in both of the bags I'd managed to keep a hold of. Then I turned around to go pick up the one I'd dropped, but Kristin had picked it up for me and was holding it out for me to take.

"Thank you." I said, smiling at her kindly. I took the bag.

Kristin smiled back, but her eyes were worried.

"I'm okay, really. I just need to drink, then I'll be better." I sat the blood on the counter and opened the cabinet I kept the cups in. I got out two tall glasses and put them down.

I grabbed a knife out of a drawer and poked a hole in the bag, and filled both glasses. I handed one to Kristin and then picked my own up. I offered a toast, "Cheers."

We clinked glasses and then drank the dark crimson liquid. It tasted okay, not as good as it would have had it been straight out of someone's throat, but alright, nonetheless. Coppery, bitter, tainted with plastic. The only reason it tasted half-way decent was because I needed it so horribly. I looked at the bag to find that it was AB-. No wonder it tasted so bitter.

Several moments later we had finished off two bags and I felt much better. I hadn't even realized that I'd felt cold before, but now I was warm and my head suddenly didn't hurt anymore. I looked at my hands to make sure they weren't still shaking and they weren't. I was good to go for at least three more days. I'd go target hunting then.

A target is what Vampires refer to as a potential victim. The target doesn't become a victim until they are drawn to us. Then there isn't much they can do to survive; death is almost certain unless they can somehow manage to tell us to stop drinking their blood. And even then most of the time we ignore their pleas. Very rarely is a new Vampire created.

"Are you alright, now?"

"Yeah." I answered.

We walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch again. I turned the TV on and we watched some show on the history channel about Vampire 'myths'. It was entertaining for me because I had to answer a question every few minutes from Kristin, who was amazed that she was really and truly a Vampire.

"Do we have superman strength?" Kristin asked, turning to look at me, her expression curious.

"You could say that, I guess. We can't pick up cars and juggle them or anything like that, but we are stronger than most humans." I said, thinking of when my sire had been angry with me and punched a hole in a brick wall. He had broken his knuckles, but they were healed within three days.

"What about speed?"

I chuckled, "We're fast, but only when we have an adrenaline rush. I think we can go maybe fifty or so."

"How bad does a wound have to be to kill us?" she had stopped paying attention to the TV now; I knew the facts.

I thought for a moment. "Decapitation, obviously we can't heal that. Um.. Being cut in half, shot in the head or the heart. The loss of a leg- the wound won't heal in time for survival; we'll bleed to death because no way can we go to the hospital."

"So anything major?" Kristin was disappointed.

"Except for broken bones. If we get our neck snapped we'll be fine, but we may not be able to move for a week or two. Get run over by a car and it'll hurt like hell but you'll survive it. Fall off of something really high and you'll more than likely land on your feet, which is gonna hurt because they're probably going to be pretty broken." I took a breath.

"We always land on our feet like a cat?" her eyes lit up.

"If you have time to right yourself. Otherwise you end up on your ass or flat on your face just like anyone else." I shrugged.

"Do we have any special abilities?" Kristin was now sitting cross legged, reminding me of an excited little girl although she didn't look to be much younger than myself at all.

"You mean like special 'powers'?"

She nodded bashfully.

I grinned, "No laser beams from the eyes, sadly. Addictions get worse-I don't think that's a good thing, though."

"So if you smoked a pack a day as a human you'll smoke two or three as a Vampire?" Kristin frowned.

"Something like that."

"Good thing I'm not addicted to anything." Kristin said.

I shook my head, "Now you are, you just don't know it yet."

She was confused, "What?"

"Now that you're a Vampire you're addicted to blood. You need it to survive anyway so it's not really a bad thing, but you'll find yourself wanting it even if you've already had your fill for the next several days." I explained.

"You're addiction to sex.. It must be horrible to deal with." Kristin said thoughtfully. I blinked and averted my eyes, "Usually it isn't a problem because I can get it when I want it."

I didn't know why saying that to her made me feel bad.

"Oh."

Things were quiet for a while, I think because she was realizing that I had used her for both addictions. I had already told her that she was different, but I had still used her. I caught myself looking at her, amazed at how beautiful she was. Becoming a Vampire had only added a sort of supernatural glow to her already fiery eyes.

"I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings, Kristin." Had I ever apologized to anyone before and meant it?

"How often do you want it?'" she asked, her voice quiet.

"Whenever I think about it." I wondered if that made me a bad person or not.

"So.. You want sex right now?" Kristin raised a brow.

"I'm trying not to think about it." I grumbled, trying to find a show on the TV that might make the feeling go away. Something gross. I flipped to the Discovery channel.

"Ew! What is that?" Kristin gasped at the image on the TV screen.

"Ugh. I have no idea. It looks like a.. like a-"

"Something someone barfed up two months ago." Kristin covered her eyes.

Completely repulsed, I turned the channel again. Things should be just fine as long as the topic of anything sexual didn't come up again. I could still feel the warm tingling in my fingertips but I knew it'd go away soon enough. Maybe.

It usually didn't unless I made it.

"Sex And The City?" Kristin asked, skeptical.

Crap.

I pushed the power button at the top of the remote and put it down on the table in front of the couch. Of course things wouldn't go easily-why would they? I crossed my arms over my chest and took a deep breath, attempting to calm my frazzled nerves. I knew that there was a very attractive girl sitting on the same couch as I was and I knew that I'd already had sex with her once. Neither of these facts helped.

"Are you okay?" Kristin reached out to touch my shoulder.

"Don't touch me, please." I said, wanting her to do the exact opposite. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath, memories of the night before flashing in and out of mind.

"Is this because you want..?" I could tell from her voice that she knew the answer already. I forced myself to open my eyes and look at her, trying to keep my eyes on hers. I didn't say anything, just tried to keep control of myself. Kristin scooted up close to me, making it nearly impossible not to touch her. I wasn't expecting her to do what she did next, but it was a nice surprise. She reached out and touched my face softly. I closed my eyes and gulped, trying to swallow the butterflies that had made their way up my throat.

When I felt Kristin's lips press against my mouth lightly my eyes popped open and my arms uncrossed and I had to struggle not to grope her, to just touch her sides. I kissed her back as gently as I could, not wanting to scare her away. I wanted her very badly.

Kristin pulled away a few seconds later and stared into my eyes. "I'm going to take a shower. When I get done, you're going to take one. After that maybe, just maybe, I'll see about making you feel better."

I couldn't speak. When Kristin stood to walk away I grabbed her hand and she smiled sensually, telling me to hold on. Not able to think straight, I had to take a second to remember how to let go of her. When I did she walked away into the bedroom. She came out with some of my clothes and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I heard the shower come on and I knew I had to do something to keep my mind off of her for at least a few minutes.

I turned the television back on and changed it to Cartoon Network. Courage The Cowardly Dog was on, one of my favorite shows. I could hardly figure out what was going on but I told myself to just stare at the screen until it was my turn to take a shower. There was a fox and I think he wanted to make stew out of the old lady.

Sam came and got on the couch, curling up in a ball on the cushion at the far end. I was in my every day spot and he was in his. So far he liked Kristin and I was glad. With any other person he ignored them unless things got too rough between the two of us. If that happened he growled at them until I had to lock him up in the bathroom for trying to bite them. But Sam liked Kristin. Maybe it was because she'd been here for more than a few hours and was still alive. Maybe it was because he felt like he'd been the one to nurse her back to health by sleeping on her and licking her in the face all night. I had no idea, but I was happy that he hadn't been a grump to her yet.

I wondered if Kristin was almost done. I didn't want to have to go drag her out of the shower but I felt like I might if she didn't hurry up. I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to take deep, even breaths. All I could do was wait and I hated that. I wanted her right now.

The bathroom door knob twisted and I jerked my head towards the sound, watching as Kristin exited the room in my clothes, her hair twisted up in a towel. She met my eyes and smiled, nodding her head towards the bathroom before walking into my room and closing the door behind her. I stood and went to knock on the door but hesitated. Did I need to get some clothes or not?

"Kristin?" I knocked lightly.

The door cracked open and Kristin handed me some clothes. I took them from her and went to take my shower. I stripped down and got in, turning the water on cold. I needed to cool down before I did anything that would need a lot of energy. I tried to take my time, but I'm not sure how well I did. I washed my long, dark hair first and then while the conditioner sat I washed my body. I had no reason to shave because the only hair that grows on a Vampire is the hair on our heads. After I was done with my shower I dried my hair as well as I could with my towel and then dried myself off. I wondered if Kristin would notice that my hair wasn't really straight but curly instead. I brushed my teeth, not wanting my breath to stink.