Lie Much in (my) Life

CAUTION: This is a completely unbelievable, profane, fantasy romp. All characters are unfortunately fictional, as are all the events. Hopefully this chapter will start to clear a few of the mysteries up, I know it's not making much sense right now, but I swear I have a plan! (a cunning plan!)

*Author's deep bow of appreciation: I would just like to say thank you for all the comments I've been getting, I find it spurs me on when my own attempts at self flagellation fail.

So as always, strap yourselves in, get ready for takeoff, and please enjoy!

1

Like much in my life, my new one that is, this was definitely a new experience. Actually everything about the day before was a new experience. I could confidently put my hand on my heart and swear that it was all brand, spanking, new. Not that I had liked any of it, except for the final part with Ray holding me, but hey, new was different so I wasn't about to knock it. Which was also new. I did not feel like complaining, I did not feel like bemoaning my fate, I did not feel like being miserable, despite how I had conked it the day before. In fact, I was feeling perfectly myself, which definitely if I was in any way bothered enough to think about it, did not compute. I wasn't even mildly rabid or angry or spewing emotions like fear and hate and bloodlust. Instead I just floated on my own private fluffy cloud. It was quite nice actually, but if I thought about it, when had I ever been this calm? No seriously. Did Ray dart me with a tranquiliser while I was sleeping? Now that would be like much in my life. I could totally cast me as the girl that has a huge gorgeous man more interested in stabbing her naked arse with a big needle, just to make sure she's asleep and stays that way, than in well, anything more interesting. In fact the picture sprang with a little too much ease to mind. It made a horrid kind of gelid sense with the image of myself as I had been before Ray had slung me over his shoulder and brought me right bang slap into his life. Though to give credit to the changing events, my new and improved current image said, no way, I was now Ray's mate and if Ray had stabbed me, well I could stab him right back. Maybe... Perhaps... Oh all right, I was too content and calm to stab him.

I sighed softly at my completely limp noodle approach to men. Well.. one man.. well.. one paladin. I murmured softly and snuggled a little bit more firmly into him, quite content with my noodleness. It was quite hard trying to get all the goo out of the way, but I finally did it and our bodies melded together blissfully. I started to drift off again, completely sidetracked, busy contemplating the perfection of my paladin's biceps and other parts when the murmuring started.

"How much longer Doctor? " the voice sounded impatient "The Matriarch has summoned them. They must attend her the soonest possible. I don't know if you've realised how critical this situation actually is! "

"Peace Little Lila, I can do nothing, the Introspek Med. Vortex allows the patients to recover according to the absolute pace that their metabolisms require. No faster and no slower. "

"You have to give me a time line! Something! " the voice had turned from snotty to desperate. "What am I going to tell her Holiness? How can you send me back to her to tell her that she has to wait on their pleasure? " her voice had turned young and very very pleading, a far cry from the snooty official tone she had first employed.

"Lila, I just don't know. " Janus sighed, "their mating is different, we've only seen telio-contiogen-interchange bonds a handful of times. All I know is that they are progressing through the exchange much faster than anyone ever has. They are swapping emotions, characteristics, tendencies and reactions so fast that they cannot process them properly. And while the phenomenon itself has proved beyond doubt that Alice is not human, I don't know what she is, and that leaves me as much in the dark as anyone else. Just be grateful that we have the I.M.V. to help smooth the transition. Before its invention chances of surviving the bonding were only 15%." Janus sighed again, worry penetrating his tone. I wondered idly how high the chances of survival were with the I.M.V.

"They'll be all right, won't they Janus? " Lila whispered, her voice sounding young and scared.

"Well, they're both strong, but I don't know if their spirits match. Ray is a black paladin, his strength exceeds that of most beings, if he outweighs her even slightly they'll both die. The partners have to be a perfect match in everything, even strength, or the bond destroys one; and if the other doesn't die from the shock they soon die from grief. "

Lila gasped. " I didn't know... " she choked out. "I thought they would just stay in I.M.V for a few hours and that would be it. What am I going to tell her Holiness? Oh, Janus, I can't believe that they might die! I just can't! "

"Lila, I know you've admired Ray for some time, but you have to be brave. " his voice turned husky with longing "Alice and Ray love each other greatly, I'm sure they'll be just fine... please, make sure that you are too. "

"I have to go back to her Holiness, " whispered Lila "and give her the news. I'm sure they'll both be fine, " her voice hitched as it raised in mock cheerfulness "after all, they have such a wonderful doctor! "

I could hear her hasty footsteps as she left and wondered at the little exchange. Her Holiness huh? And what was that between Janus and Lila? Well, the outside world would have to wait, I was still drifting on my cloud and I had absolutely no urge to get off of it any time soon. I wondered how long Ray was going to sleep and then smiled as I turned myself even more tightly into his body. I didn't mind how long he slept as long as I got to cuddle with him like this.

As the day wore on Ray lay still as a stone, but I drifted in and out, never really breaking the barrier into wakefulness, but sometimes aware of the outside world. We got a lot of visitors. It turned out that both Ray and I were popular. Everyone wished us well and they were all worried. I couldn't understand it really, I felt fine, so did Ray, but it warmed my heart to know that we had been accepted as a couple so completely. It made me feel all pink and fuzzy inside as I lay there listening and I hoped that in some way Ray could hear too. It would do my paladin good to know how much he was loved and respected by the people of Angel's Peak.

When next I rose out of deep oblivion I realised that Ray was finally awake. I smiled in pleasure as my heart thumped sluggishly, my low level of enthusiasm a bit weird, but I couldn't bring myself to mind.

"Hey you. " he whispered, his mouth nudging my ear, "I know you're awake little cat and I thoroughly intend to take advantage of it. "

My smile broadened and I stretched my body slightly, I waited for the rush of excitement that his words would ignite in my body, but nothing came. I frowned. Something was definitely up. Despite both of our intentions neither my paladin nor I were in any way aroused. Just content, fuzzy and very very level. I tried to make myself panic, like I usually would, but the emotion required just refused to surface. I started to wonder if those intense feelings that had dominated me from the minute I had met Ray were finally starting to dissipate. I wondered if my love was a sham and that finally my dream was starting to unravel at the seams. I knew that the idea should have me howling in pain, but I couldn't seem to shake the wooliness from my thoughts, nor the feeling of calibrated contentment. I started to realise that my emotions had remained the same ever since my fainting spell. Could I be ill? Did I contaminate Ray? While I struggled to think and to analyse the situation I could feel sleep creep back upon me and my mind start to fog over. I appeared to have no control over my mind or my emotions, I was completely lost, and a deep slow desperation dug its way into the fog. What had seemed relaxing before now seemed like some B rated nightmare. A half strangled sob escaped me as I sunk back down into oblivion.

This time sleep only got three minutes on me, because then I woke up. I stared up into Ray's face and felt the sweet sting of relief as all my emotions flooded back into a brain that was getting increasingly alert. It felt so good I could only gasp. The foggy emptiness receded and I felt as if my entire being was stretching after a very long stay in a cramped box. I didn't know what was going on, but I was glad that the calmness was over. I could feel again and I smiled as all of the lovely emotions seething inside of me settled into a nice conglomeration. I had never been so glad or so grateful to be an emotionally unbalanced seething wreck of a lovelorn fool. I grined manickly, it felt great!

"Sorry the I.M.V made you panic little cat, but considering everything, I guess Janus had a point. We were both mixing to the --enth degree. " he grinned at me.

My grin widened as I stared deeply into his wonderful eyes, not really bothering with the fact that I couldn't understand what he was on about. He chuckled at me and then lent in for a swift kiss. As our lips touched the impact shivered all the way down my spine and suddenly what was going on was the last thing on my mind. The relief was so great that I threw myself into that soft touch and sank gratefully into his embrace, my body moulding itself to his, the electrifying touch confirming once more how nuts I was about him. The quick kiss lingered a little and I heard my paladin groan softly before he lifted his head. My heart pounded an erratic tattoo as I saw the desire lurking in his deep dark eyes and I couldn't help but lick my lips in anticipation.

He sighed as he eyed my lips hungrily. "Alice... " he leaned in slightly his eyes still glued to my mouth, I licked my bottom lip again hoping rather desperately that he would lean in still further, "I need to explain what's going on... " my eyes closed as I felt his breath on me, "it's important. " he gasped before giving in and kissing me.

The fire was definately still there. As his lips teased mine, sliding backwards and forwards, and my body melted into a molten pool of desire, I knew for sure. However hard things were or would get, whatever I would have to face or to suffer because of my love for Ray, it was worth it. He was the axis to my life and I would not give him up, not for anything.

I felt him smile against my lips as he nibbled delicately at them, his breath mingling with mine, his tongue taking swift teasing swipes making me gasp with the need for more. "Say it. " I frowned as his lips evaded mine, his mouth trailing teasing kisses like firebrands up and down my face.

"What? " I grumbled, not greatly pleased that he wanted to talk.

"What you're thinking. "

I gave a little high pitched cry as he latched on to my earlobe and started to suck softly. My back arched as I rubbed my breasts into his chest, my hands curling round his strong arms. My mind was going to mush as the demands of my body grew into a fever pitch and he wanted to talk? Really? His teeth nipped my neck as he proceeded to suck and lick and nibble his way down. My eyes closed as I whimpered softly, wanting him to hurry up. Didn't he know I was burning to ash under his slow, tender caresses?

"Yes, " his fingers softly caressed my breasts over my clothes, his soft touch going round the sides, under, over, lifting, caressing, touching as I squirmed in agony, my nipples spiked, my chest on fire. This was torture, he was torturing me, every sweet caress titillating, urging my body on, till my juices pooled hot and heavy, my legs parting, my neck arching. I was so ready to be taken and every minute that Ray held off was killing me.

He bit my collar bone and then laved the red mark with his hot tongue, "I'm burning too, little cat, " his hand stroked down my body until it grasped my thigh bringing my leg up as he settled between my legs. I gave a sharp cry, my hands going round and down his back to clutch at him, my mouth latching onto his neck as my hips undulated against his hard cock. I felt the deep shudder that wracked his body and I felt triumph lance through me, he was going to fuck me, and god how I wanted him to.

"No, " he gasped, his hands still teasing my flesh, trailing soft patterns up and down my thighs. "I need to hear it. "

"What? " I cried, franticly tugging at him, trying to get his clothes off.

"What you're thinking. " he gasped sliding my low cut top over my breasts, his mouth pressing teasing kisses on the sensitive skin he was uncovering.

I scratched his back impatiently, he knew what I was thinking! I was practically a puddle of raging desire! Scratch that, I was a puddle of raging desire!

"I want you. " I whimpered, a petulant whine creeping into my voice, I didn't want to talk! I wanted him to rip that damnable blouse off of me, I wanted him to bite me, fuck me, pound me, I wanted him to take me so hard I wouldn't be able to walk straight afterwards. And then, then I would want him to do it all over again.

His hips jerked violently, grinding his cloth covered hard on exactly where I needed him most, but his fingers still remained gentle as he tugged at the lace of my slutty bra.

"Soon, " he gasped "but I need you to say it. "

He lifted his head, his eyes boring into mine, his lust clear to see as he stared into my soul. I whimpered as I stared deep into his eyes. I didn't know what he wanted, I knew what I wanted, but what did he want? I stared into those depths and then as if a cloud had been lifted I felt that golden connection arc between us and I could see. I could see everything about him, his mind, his emotions, his memories, I could see our two souls now melded and meshed so closely together that we were not distinguishable separately. I felt a slight shock as I stared at the melded golden and silver. Where there had been two fiery balls, our two souls, mine golden and his silver, now there was one. We were meshed together beyond all release, were before we had been connected by one strand, now we were completely one, all of our strands intertwining tightly. I was still me, but I was also beyond that, I was also him. And through our deep bond I could feel all that he felt, see all that he could see and all at once I knew.

"I love you, " I whispered staring deep into his eyes willing him to read the truth in mine. "You are my anchor, my world, my love, Ray I love you. " I saw him shudder as his eyes closed and deep relief saturated his being. I could feel how insecure he was, how afraid he was that I would leave him, that I would choose someone else.

I smiled softly in sympathy, I knew what it felt like to doubt one's lover, to fear so badly that he would leave me for someone else. I had never truly believed that Ray was mine and every time we connected I had feared even more greatly that it was just a dream.

"You are my soul, my love, my life, " I kissed his nose softly and then giggled "I can even have it tattooed on my arse if you like! " the image of his name scrawled across my but in big bold letters made me chuckle. He sighed in exasperation and swiftly slid his hand up my skirt to the apex of my thighs and grasped my clit firmly but gently between his fingers. The soft rolling motion he caressed me with had my hips jerking violently as I mewled in desperation.

"I fail to see the humour in this, little cat." he murmured in my ear, his fingers still playing their devastating tune upon my sensitive little numb. "In fact," he nipped the side of my neck "you better know who you belong to, " his breath hitched slightly in excitement "who you love, or else... "

He had me desperate again, my body crying out for his, my cunt throbbing, my whole being solely focused on what he was doing to me, but I still had to push him that little bit further. I wanted him to lose all control, I wanted him to surrender to me and the demands of our mutual lust.

"Or else what? " I gasped, undulating my hips, lifting both my legs to cradle his hips and sliding my hand down to grasp him firmly. I watched him jerk frantically as my fist caressed his hard length and I felt a deep surge of female satisfaction as he started to tremble under the touch of my fingers.

He got violent as he thrust my hand away, his control slipping as he ripped open his trousers and sheathed his cock deep into my hungry puss. The deep slide of his cock in me sent my hips bucking once more as we both gasped raggedly at the overpowering pleasure of our joining. He panted roughly as he pistoned into me once more, his lips seeking the tips of my breasts, his hands firmly clutching my hips.

I felt my brain fog over with desire as my orgasm started to crash over me, its soft rolling waves washing me away into a desperate sea of passion. I screamed his name, his teeth biting deeply into my shoulder as he pounded me harder and harder, flaming us both in all consuming pleasure. As my body shook and shuddered, my arms and legs wrapped tightly round him all I could do was scream and chant his name as my body worshiped his.

"Ra-y! Oh-hh-h RAY! " I screamed, my cunt throbbing rhythmically, my final peak holding off, waiting for his pulsing seed to fill me up and send me over the edge. I felt him tear his teeth from my shoulder as he whispered the most beautiful words I had ever heard.

"I love you Alice. Oh, Ali-C-E! "

Our lips locked as we came simultaneously, my orgasm enveloping me as I felt the warmth of his seed settle firmly in my womb. The pleasure of our joining was beyond imagining for we were now truly joined as one.

As our hearts calmed and our breathing slowed, our lips and bodies stayed locked together, his mouth softly caressing mine as we basked in the afterglow of our torrid lovemaking. The feeling of him so deep within me and the memory of what we had just done made me so ready for more I ached, badly, and the embarrassment of it made me turn away.

I felt his lips trail softly down my face, caressing me gently, wetly, hotly. My ignition was instantaneous and my face flamed as I felt my pussy start to throb around him with a renewed hunger.

"I want to fuck you again, " he gasped in my ear, his hips already thrusting "I want to hear you scream as you come on my cock. " he slipped his hand down to my clit and started to massage it gently as he thrust softly into me, his mouth whispering hot wicked words into my ear. "I want to fill you to the brim with my seed, suck every sweet inch of you, fuck, little cat I'm so hard for you... I want all of you, I want to fuck your mouth, your beautiful wet pus, " he jerked inside me, his cock throbbing hot and deep as his thoughts filled my mind with graphic images "I want to fuck myself deep into your soft buttocks, I want you, I want to brand you, spread my cum all over your body... I want to possess you. "

I cried out in passion as his words and thoughts clashed through my mind. I wanted him so badly I could hardly believe it. Our lovemaking had only ignited my need for him, not sated it and I wondered if it would ever be enough, if I would ever tire of having him.

"Never, " he grinned evilly "you're mine now baby, my little slut and your pussy hungers for my cock. " he lifted himself up, thrusting heavily into me, pounding his cock deep into my hungry cunt, his eyes deep black pools watching me as I came undone my pussy creaming on his cock. My back arched as I came, my head thrown back as I screamed his name again and again and again.

"Ray!!!!! Ah-hhh-hhh!!! R-A-Y!!! "

He laughed in elation as he watched me, smugness radiating of off him, I could feel his joy and his possessiveness as he thrust deeply into me.

"Open your eyes little cat, look at me. "