Coffee fills the void. It's weak, and terrible, but it's working to keep my eyes from closing. So heavy. I watch the numbers, making sure they're in range, keeping her... 'it'... functioning. Not alive. Functioning. And they look okay. I wonder at all that keeps it going, the chips and wires and things that are all still a bit over my head. It really is fascinating, albeit a little scary.
I glance over. There she is... It! There it is. I really have got to stop doing that, adding something where there is nothing, (nothing I understand at least.)
Suspended in glass, arms folded over chest, silent, in sleep-mode... I think of Sleeping Beauty briefly. I picture a rose centered there, against cold silicone-like material. So interesting, really. Translucent, with a blue tint. I can see the wires. They're like veins, and the fact that there is no life is evident by the lack of color on the tips of its fingers and lips, so see-through they look white.
I should have slept more last night. This has been a long shift. I am not as smart as the others, really. All I can do is stand guard. I know where the emergency button is; I know what these numbers mean as they scroll and change on the screen, monitoring what I guess must be a million and a half things.
What I do understand is that they are attempting, like so many others, to create an AI (Artificial Intelligence,)... we used to call them robots when I was a child, and we're doing so by feeding it as much data as we can. Data from everywhere- books, both factual and fictional, tv, film, (both important and Kardashian-esque,) to replicate what we suppose must make us human. We feed it art, we teach it to respond. We communicate with it, so that it can return the favor.
Why are we doing this? I often wonder. I know this could be incredibly useful in some respects but is it necessary? More than that, is it moral? I don't know. These are the things that keep me up, more than the coffee, on these nights.
I stare at it. Tia, or TIA, standing for Temperament, Intelligent, Autonomous. The goal is to target these three things- Temperament, (to make 'her' kind, gregarious, and concerned with the well-being of others.) Intelligent- Able to converse, adapt, speak and do things with ease, so much ease that the average person might have trouble distinguishing Tia from any other person they've met. Then we come to autonomy. This is the one I struggle with, though I guess I understand it. Tia is supposed to have the ability to adjust 'her' decisions, to act from changing morals based on any given situation, as long as the backbone of Temperament is strong as strong as the strongest steel.
I lean back in my chair. I pull my hair into a lazy bun to get it out of my face and stretch my arms, arch my back, in an attempt to prevent the shoulder pain that sets in when I just sit here like this. I notice how dry my skin has become. It's the cold air outside; it's been a frigid, freezing winter. I take off my lab coat and reach for my bag, rubbing lotion over the parts that sting.
Only 10 minutes left. I can feel the coolness of my pillow, the weight of my blankets, the darkness, the warmth of my cat, Rocket, taking his place by my feet, the things that await me in my small apartment. My feet are sore.
Only the second part of my shift is spent sitting and watching Tia. The other part I spend in the rest of the facility, learning, or rather, attempting to learn. I did well in school. Honestly, I excelled. I got my bachelors in Computer Science, then took some time off to travel. I went to Paris, as one 'should.' I'm not sure if there's just something wrong with me, or if I'm just not meant to leave my comfort zone, but it was nothing like I'd imagined. It was beautiful and the food was great and everything was as they said it would be but I felt... not the way I thought I would. I sometimes think I am on a mission to be perpetually unhappy.
Then I went and got my Master's. It was difficult. It was tiresome. I made it through, though. What I have trouble admitting to anyone else at this point is that while I am good at getting through school day by day, semester by semester, test by test etc... my retention is not as stellar. I think my head is always half-way in the clouds; I don't think it's ever coming down.
