He raised his hands and then disappeared. I was out of my mind. I almost went downstairs to ask one of the programmers if they'd seen anyone come up, but I didn't know them well enough to do that without them calling the owner and I'd probably be evicted. I paced the apartment, running my fingers through my hair and shaking. In one night I'd gone from feeling pretty good about myself right back to where I was when I was on the meds. To top it off, I thought I was being visited by the grim reaper. What had been a kind of fun story was freaking me out.
I went back to my room and sent a text to the only person who might have some idea what I was going through. Jake helped me come off the meds, maybe he could help me stop losing my mind. I sat at the island with my head in my hands, staring at my phone when something moved out of the corner of my eye. I whimpered and rocked. I didn't want to look. If I didn't acknowledge its existence, did the hallucination happen?
Fuck my life, it talked, ~"Holy shit, you're really freaked out."~
The voice was softer, more feminine this time and I glanced to the side to see a woman with blood red hair and the same kind of black cloak standing in my living room. "I'm losing my mind."
~"I don't know about all that, but I'm not a figment of your imagination,"~ she stepped to the side, coming more fully into my view. Her hands were free from the sleeves of the robe and held out to her sides.
"How did you get in here?"
~"I can go where I want. Part of the job. You scared the shit out of my partner and he said you were terrified, too. I came to check things out. My name is Moira,"~ she said. ~"Mind if I stand over there so you can see me better and it's easier to talk?"~
I was losing my mind, talking to a grim reaper. "You're a reaper?"
~"One of a few. My partner, Charos, said the bowl sent him to you. He reached for you but you didn't reach back."~ She moved to the other counter and leaned against it, folding her hands in front of her. ~"You really shouldn't be able to see us."~
"How am I supposed to miss you in the Hogwarts get up?"
She laughed. A deep belly laugh with her head thrown back and when she looked back at me her eyes were glowing green, but calmed back to a plain black as her laughter died. ~"I said the exact same thing when I woke up wearing it. Can't change the uniform, though. You're not supposed to be able to see us because you're alive,"~ she waved her hand like that was some sort of magic trick I'd done. ~"Charos reached for you because the bowl sent him here. You didn't reach back."~
"What does that even mean? That guy didn't reach for me, he fucking rubbed my arm and then fell on his ass when I screamed." I had no idea why I was talking about this to a woman I was imagining, but in for a penny in for a pound on the crazy train. My phone hadn't gone off. Jake was probably asleep.
~"If I had any money I'd have paid to see Charos on his ass. Get a picture next time."~ She looked around the kitchen, but didn't move to touch anything. ~"You said I'm a grim reaper. We take souls, honey. If I reach for someone, it's their soul that reaches back. He reached for you, but you didn't reach back. That's a little freaky for us. God, I wish I could eat."~ She'd made it to an open shelf where I kept poptarts and some cereal.
I groaned and pulled my hands from my hair and slapped the top of the island. My hair flew everywhere and I probably looked about as crazy as I felt right then. "Are you real? Am I imagining all of this? You're some part of my subconscious that's going to give me some deep wisdom and I'll wake up with a better grasp of what I should be doing with my life or some shit?"
~"Huh. No,"~ she said. ~"I'm real, so's Charos and all the other reapers. You, missy, have been following us around a lot lately so you've been able to see us for a while. I really hope you got my good side with those pictures that one time."~
I stared at her, mouth hanging open. "Fuck me," I groaned and let my head fall to the island. "I've been following you guys for months and you show up and prove me right, and I flip my shit."
~"I mean, you're cute and all, but no thanks."~ She leaned back against the counter again. ~"You only saw me once, so I think technically you've been following Charos for months. I'd have lost it if some random wizard showed up in my place, too. Now, big question,"~ she put her hand on the island and I looked up at her, ~"if I bring Charos back here will you scream and put him on his ass again, and get a picture of it?"~ Her eyes glittered. I didn't have a better word for it. They stayed black, but sparks of colors flashed in them like glitter. ~"In all seriousness, though, if I go get him and bring him here will you be okay? Not going to scream? I can give you a couple minutes to fix your hair if you need."~
"Why does he have to come here?" I just ran my hands through my hair and called it good enough. "Why can't I just fucking be normal?"
~"Hey,"~ she tapped on the table now. ~"You're a living person that can see and touch a grim reaper. I've had my hands out to you throughout this whole chat and not once have I felt your soul reach back. Who the fuck wants normal? Look, give me a few minutes because he might be on duty and I'll have to snag him at the bowl, but I'll be back."~ She looked back at the shelf with the poptarts, ~"The living have all the luck."~
She disappeared, and I collapsed against the island with a groan. Maybe if I just accepted that I was losing my mind, it wouldn't hurt. Maybe going back on the meds wasn't such a bad idea. Then again, the meds had made this so much worse. Sure, I was having a conversation with a grim reaper, but the meds had made the feeling of being touched when I wasn't so much worse. I hadn't felt that except the little bit earlier.
~"Goddammit, Charos,"~ Moira was standing by the counter again with her hood down, looking to the side at nothing. I wasn't losing my mind, I had already lost it and my hallucinations were now talking to hallucinations of their own. ~"What do you mean you came here twice?"~
~"The bowl showed her to me, and brought me here. I reached for her, touched her, and she did not reach back. I returned to the bowl, and it sent me back to her."~ The voice was the same deep, soft voice from earlier.
"Oh, the hallucinations of my hallucinations are talking. This is great." I moaned and rubbed my eyes.
~"You fucking show yourself to her, asshole!"~ Moira yelled. I didn't know soft voices could yell, but she pulled it off. It was actually kind of soothing.
~"You do not speak to me that way, Moira,"~ and another one showed up in the kitchen, right where she was looking. My hallucinations brought friends to the party and I hadn't even been drinking. I giggled softly to myself.