Home For Horny Monsters Ch 05

Hey all! Annabelle here with the latest chapter! If you are new to the story, I recommend starting at the beginning. Also, I read every comment, and I love how much support this website keeps giving me. Keep leaving me those reviews and ratings and I will keep writing this series!

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Firing Squad

"Ow, fuck!" Mike winced as Naia inspected the large bruise forming above his hip bone where Abella had squeezed him with her stony thighs. The Mandragora plant had actually injured him less than the gargoyle had, surprisingly enough. Save for some scrapes on his hands (well, and not being eaten), he was fine.

"Yeah, that will sting for a while." Naia placed a kiss on it. "You had me so worried! I've never seen the Mandragora do that before. You're going to need to feed it pretty soon."

"Yeah, that's right. Meat and cheese and wine. We're going on a picnic next Wednesday." Mike informed her.

"Oh, really? I think that's a great idea," Naia said. "She'll love that!"

"Wait, the plant..." Mike felt a cold sweat break out on his forehead, even though he was standing naked in the fountain. "It can...it can..."

"I'm just kidding, goofball. The Mandragora can't leave the greenhouse." Naia glanced over at Abella. She sat in the water, her wings pulled close to her body, watching the tiny water spheres circle the fountain, glowing with their own inner light. The sun was setting on the other side of the house, and the garden was cast into darkness, save for Naia's magic spheres. "You need to be more careful, Abella. Mike isn't made of steel."

"I know," Abella grumbled, flicking the water with her finger. "Felt really good though."

"That part I get," Naia agreed. "And I'm grateful you got to him before he was eaten. None of this would have happened if you hadn't picked that little cubby to hole up in."

"I was tired of washing off bird shit," Abella said, popping a bubble with her talon. It reformed on the other side of the fountain. "If I had known Emily was going to croak, I wouldn't have come down here. It wouldn't have mattered if the Mandragora hadn't broken loose."

"And that's the peril of living here," Naia agreed. "The Mandragora wouldn't have broken out if Tink had spotted the cracked windows. Tink wouldn't have slept for so long if a new guardian had been selected in a reasonable amount of time. I'm actually kind of worried about what other surprises await us as we discover more of the house. I can't imagine that the Mandragora is the only potential danger."

"There's an easy solution," Abella said. "We need to make sure that someone is with him at all times. Currently, any time he is outside the house, he is under my care."

"You can come inside," Mike offered. "There's no reason for you to be out here."

"There is, actually. I'm a living statue-not only am I likely to damage the interior of the house, but my kind hates being indoors. I come inside only for emergencies."

"Oh." Mike sat on the edge of the fountain. The water was warm, heated by Naia's magic. "If guardianship is so important, then why didn't Emily have something set up in advance?"

Naia shrugged, her greenish-blue hair shifting along the curves of her breasts. She was wearing her simple gown currently, which Mike actually preferred. It gave her some wonderful cleavage to look at. "It seems like there was a reason, but it's been gobbled up for me. I remember arguing about it with her, but there are definitely gaps."

"Which means it involves another monster." Mike frowned at the water. "It seems like inheriting this home in itself is like a trial of sorts. If I'm not qualified for the job, something could kill me."

Naia and Abella exchanged looks. "Someone with him at all times," they both said.

"Well, that just means Tink needs to stick with me when I'm indoors," Mike said.

"Anytime you go exploring, anyway. Currently, you've restricted your explorations to out here, and unless you go back in the greenhouse, you should be fine."

'And I need to feed the Mandragora, apparently. Any other plants living in there I should worry about?"

Naia shrugged, but Abella nodded.

"Yes, actually. The forest inside the greenhouse is an extension of the house. The plants being grown in there are there for a reason. Think of it like a little herb garden, but with spell components. A wizard would kill for access to it- I imagine that there are things in there that might even be extinct in the wild."

"Wait, wizards? Those are real too?" Mike looked to Naia, who just rolled her eyes at him.

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

"They aren't as prevalent in those pigwarts books," Naia told him.

"Hogwarts," Mike corrected her.

"Whatever. Last I heard, the wizards of this realm were extremely limited in number. Less than forty total since Merlin sealed away magic for humans. Maybe one person a century figures out how to do magic, and usually the others track him down and kill him."

"Holy shit." Mike shook his head. "That's insane."

"Now you know why monsters and magic items are so coveted. For some, it's the only way to gain any true power." Naia tilted her head at Abella. "Gargoyles are impervious to most normal means. Neither blade nor flame can scratch their hides, and they are extremely strong. There are few places in the world that could protect you from a gargoyle attack. With just Abella at your side, you could have your enemies killed with little fear of recourse."

"Well, not that I really do that now," Abella added. "I'm bound to the house. Unless such a task involves the long term protection of this place, I can't fly very far from here without feeling a strong urge to return."

"So, if I was in trouble a mile from here, you would come for me?" Mike asked.

"If I knew you were in trouble, potentially. It would need to be a situation dire enough that I knew your chances of survival were slim." Abella shrugged, her stony breasts shifting. "I'm more like a bouncer than anything else."

"How do you know what a bouncer is?" Mike asked.

"Please. I'm not that sheltered." Abella popped another bubble. "I have a people fetish. I watch lots of TV."

"Outside?" Mike asked.

"Emily would leave the window open for me sometimes," Abella said. "It's not like I need sleep or anything."

"Aren't you supposed to be watching the house?" Mike asked.

"Gargoyles have phenomenal hearing," Abella told him. "If it's quiet enough, I can hear a heartbeat from twenty feet."

"Whoa." Mike said.

"Speaking of which, Tink is looking for you. I can hear her calling your name." Abella informed him.

"She's probably worried. I've been gone all day." Mike walked in the back door listening carefully. He heard noise from the kitchen, and found Tink digging through a junk drawer full of random crap.

"Hey there." Tink jumped at the sound of his voice. Her body was covered in dirt and grime, and even cobwebs. "Where have you been?"

"Checking pipes," Tink informed him, beaming a smile. "Easy fix."

"What are you looking for in there?" Mike asked.

"Tink look for money."

"Why do you need money?"

The doorbell chimed, echoing through the house. Mike stared at Tink, who stared back.

"Who is that?" Mike asked.

"Pizza." Tink replied, scratching at a greasy smudge on her face.

"How did you order a pizza?"

"Tink use magic screen. Type in pizza."

Mike stared at the little goblin, mouth open. "My laptop was locked. How did you get in?"

Tink tapped the goggles on her head. "Tink order extra good pizza." The door chimed again. Mike grabbed his hair in frustration, then pointed at Tink

"Stay out of sight. We'll have the internet talk later." Tink shrugged, walking out of the kitchen. Shaking his head, he ran to the front of the house, opening the door. Holding pizza in one hand and a two liter of soda in the other was Dana. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and tonight she wore a tight white top under her black jacket. The jacket was unzipped, revealing a large pair of breasts that had been forced together by a dark black bra that peeked out along the edges of her neckline, the same breasts that had sent him into Naia's tub in the first place.

Mike's mouth went dry.

"Hey!" Dana said, handing over the pizza. "How are things?"

"Um, good?" Mike took the pizza in one hand. Dana was all smiles for him, and he felt that familiar nervousness hit him, a wave of anxiety across his whole body. "Uh, I didn't, um, expect you so fast. Let me grab my wallet."

"Yeah, sure." Mike backed into the house and was dismayed when Dana followed him inside

"Whoa, this place is spooky!" Dana looked around at the furniture, which was still covered with white sheets. She pointed just off to the side of the stairs. "Does that Grandfather clock actually work?" She knelt down to examine the pendulum. The back of her pants slid down, revealing that she wasn't wearing any underwear. Dana opened the door of the clock, her jacket sliding up to reveal a tattoo along her lower back.

"I, um..." Where had that clock come from? He couldn't concentrate, staring at Dana's exposed ass. "I'll be right back." He ran into the kitchen. Tink was busy staring at his laptop computer, which she had unlocked again. "Don't touch anything on there," he told her, setting the pizza down on the table. Grabbing his wallet, he walked back out to the main room to find Dana giving the pendulum inside the clock a push.

The entryway filled with the soft sounds of moving gears. The old clock's second hand started moving around the face of the clock. Dana's face lit up in excitement. "That is so cool!" She declared.

"You like clocks or something?" Mike asked. He held out a twenty, unsure what the total was.

"Oh yeah. I'm going to school for mechanical engineering. I love stuff like this." Dana took the money from him and dug into her pockets for change. Upstairs, Mike heard a loud splash in the bathroom. They both looked up.

"What was that?" Dana asked.

"Bad pipe. Trying to get it fixed is all. Go ahead, keep the change," Mike told her.

"Are you sure? Thank you!" Dana's face lit up, and she hugged Mike. Her breasts were soft, pushing against his chest, and Mike felt a shiver as his body redirected blood flow to his dick. "Oh, shit, I'm so sorry!" She said, her face turning red as she backed away, stuffing the money in her pocket. "I don't normally do that, it's just that you've been very generous, and I needed extra money for my car payment, and you're so cu-"Dana's mouth slammed shut, her face glowing brighter. "I'm sorry, I just-thank you."

"It's okay. I remember what it's like, working my way through school. I'm doing pretty well now, so just trying to pay it forward." He stepped around her, opening the door. Dana stepped out onto the porch and Mike would have left her there, but Cecilia was sitting on the swing, gazing out into the yard. Mike walked onto the porch, keeping Dana from looking at the banshee. "So tell me more about your major."

"Not a lot to tell. Class during the day, labs on weekend mornings. I have this gig to help make ends meet with student loans and such. I'm the only girl in my program, so I deal with a lot of creeps." Mike stayed just ahead of her, walking down the path to her car, hoping she wouldn't look back. Cecilia seemed quite content on her swing, her hair fanning out around her as if she was storing up a massive charge. "Hey, if you need an extra hand fixing stuff around here, I would love to help out. My dad worked construction when I was growing up, so I'm pretty handy."

"I'll keep that in mind." They were at her car now, the glowing Pizza Palace marquee on her roof. She seemed reluctant to leave, but gave him a wave, the light from her GPS casting an eerie light on her face as she drove away. Mike let out a huge sigh, then ran back up the steps to the house. Cecilia wasn't sitting anymore-instead she was staring inside the living room window.

"Something is happening," she informed him.

"What's happening?" Mike asked. Cecilia shrugged.

You're the Check Engine Light of the Damned

, Mike thought to himself. He walked inside, staring upstairs and then toward the kitchen. Choosing the kitchen, he found Tink sitting at the table, clicking through websites on his laptop while eating her ill-gotten pizza.

"We need to have a quick chat about... what the hell are you eating?" He was standing behind her, and Tink tilted her head up and back.

"Tink order best pizza," she informed him, holding up a slice for his inspection. Pepperoni, sausage, and pineapple adorned the top. The soda she had picked was orange, most of which was gone already. Only two slices of pizza were left in the box.

"You really are a little monster, aren't you?" Mike flicked a piece of pineapple off.

"Tink find good stuff on magic screen," Tink informed him. Looking over the top of her head, he saw that she was on Amazon and currently had nearly a hundred items in his cart. He leaned past her and opened it up to see what she was buying.

"Tink!" He shouted, seeing that his total was in the thousands. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Tink see good stuff for fix house." She opened her mouth wide, dropping an entire piece of pizza in. She licked the grease off her fingers. "Tink has job to do."

"Okay, I see we're going to have to talk about this right now." Mike closed the laptop, eliciting protest from Tink. "The magic screen is off limits for the time being. Now I want you to-"

A loud thud caused the light hanging above the table to sway from side to side. Tink slid her goggles on, and they both stared at the ceiling.

"What was that?" Mike asked.

"Tink not sure." She touched the side of her goggles, rotating a dial Mike had never noticed. "Water in ceiling."

"Oh fuck." Mike remembered the splashing noise from before. Running toward the stairs, he slid to a stop when he saw that the Grandfather clock was no longer there. "Fuck!" Running up the stairs, his feet squished on wet carpet as he neared the bedroom door. Shoving it open, he heard running water splashing the bathroom floor. "Naia?"

"It's about fucking time!" Naia appeared, splashing water everywhere. "I've been shouting this whole time."

"I didn't hear you," Mike told her. "The door was closed." Tink slammed into Mike from behind, staring at the floor. "What's wrong?"

"There's a fire elemental loose," Naia told him. "Nasty little shit was sniffing around up here. I was trying to snuff him out, but he got away."

"What does it look like?" Mike asked. Walking into his room, he saw tiny scorch marks all along the wall. Looking closer, he saw that they were foot prints.

"Like a lizard," Naia told him. "Mike, it isn't something from the house. It got in somehow, and it was laying low."

"For what reason?" He asked, looking under the bed.

"To kill goblin husband," Tink hissed, looking all around the room. She hit a hidden button on her goggles and several mechanical arms sprouted, each one with a different covered lens. Flicking them into place, she knelt by the door of the room.

"Wait, to kill me?"

"Possibly. This one was sniffing around like it was trying to find a place to hide. If it wanted to, it could just burn the whole house down, but they are great for assassinations."

"That doesn't make sense," Mike said, checking the window, but it was locked from the inside. He heard stomping above the room, followed by the sight of gray claws on the rain gutter. He opened the window up. "Abella, have you seen anything leave the house?"

"No. I don't know how it got in, either." Abella leaned over the edge of the house. "If you chase it outside, I can take care of it."

"But where did it come from?" Mike asked. "Did it come in with the pizza girl?"

"It was here long before that." Naia informed him. "It must have come in with you earlier today."

"But that doesn't..." he thought back to the spark he felt when he had taken the paperwork from Elizabeth. "Tink, check the trash downstairs."

"Tink go look." The goblin grabbed a towel, dunking it in the bath. Wringing it out, she rolled it up, cracking it like a whip. "Mike stay here."

"Like hell I will." Mike dunked his own towel. "I'm coming with you."

"You both need to be careful," Naia said. "If it touches you, it may just immolate you to nothing but ash."

"Fantastic," Mike muttered, following Tink out into the hall. Tink was walking down the hall, her eyes intent on something he couldn't see.

"Tracks everywhere," Tink informed him. "Upstairs, downstairs. Elemental go in most rooms, but come back out." Turning to go down the stairs, Mike noticed the wardrobe at the end of the hall. Walking toward it, he made to turn the latch.

"No tracks there," Tink told him, yanking on the band of his pants. "We go look downstairs." Mike followed her, holding his towel ready as they stepped into the living room. Moving into the kitchen, Tink opened up the trash can. Reaching in, she pulled free what was left of the folder from Elizabeth. "Fire elemental come from here."

Mike didn't have to ask how she knew. The folder was burnt. Looking into the can he saw the nest of ashes at the bottom. The elemental started as a spark, and he wondered if throwing away the offer had triggered it to burn and grow. "Okay, so what now?"

Cecilia's loud wail carried through the house, sending shivers up Mike's spine. Tink covered her ears, frowning in the direction of her cries. Running toward the noise, they made it past the stairs and into one of the sitting rooms in the front of the house. Cecilia stood just outside the window, her mouth stretched wide and one hand pointing at the ceiling. Up above, Mike saw the angry creature standing on the ceiling, hissing in response.

Mike and Tink walked further into the room as Cecilia drifted through the walls, her shrieks rising in volume. Mike put fingers in his ears, his eyes on the angry red lizard on the ceiling. It looked like it was made of lava, the air around it shimmering from the sheer heat of its skin. Its eyes blazed like fiery coals, hissing at Cecilia. It leapt off of the ceiling, passing straight through the banshee and colliding with the carpet. Spinning in place, leaving scorch marks on the hardwood, it spotted Mike.

"Oh shit!" Mike yelled, raising his towel as the lizard came at him. It left a fiery trail on the floor, the hardwood burning up beneath it. It launched itself at him, and Mike dodged out of the way, letting it collide with a piece of furniture behind him. The white sheet burned up beneath it, the chair underneath igniting. The elemental burned its way through springs and fluff, the chair igniting, but the flames remaining local. Uncertain how to proceed, Mike watched the chair from the side, squatting down to see beneath it.

The elemental charged him, crossing the space in a second. Leaping for his face, it was knocked out of the air by the fast crack of the wet towel from Tink. The elemental missed, crashing into the table behind Mike. Mike, acting fast, unfurled his towel and scooped up the elemental inside. It shrieked, steam rising from the towel.

"Fuck!" Mike shouted, dropping his bundle from Hell. It was too hot to carry. Cecilia grabbed the bundle with both hands, spinning in a circle and launching it through the window. The glass shattered, the elemental and towel landing in the front yard.

"Quick!" Mike and Tink ran outside, where Cecilia met them. The wet bundle looked like an angry steamed dumpling, rolling around in the yard as the elemental fought its way free. Mike grabbed the towel from Tink. "Is there a hose out here?" Mike asked.

"Tink find." She leapt over the railing, running along the side of the house. Mike held up the towel like a blanket, going the long way down the front steps. Staying off to the side, he watched the elemental squeeze free, scorching a circle in the grass and growing in size.