The King's Spider: Gentleman in the Forest
The sun beat down into the forest through the clouds that were hanging in the sky. Felicity King walked through the forest on the beaten path, at least for now. She had finally managed to get a three day weekend from her job at a call center, dealing day after day with the same inane customer service complaints from older people who just didn't want to use the internet for whatever reason. She planned to enjoy as much of it outside as she could, far away from her home and her everyday problems. It had taken her a very boring 30 minute drive to get to this forest but as she breathed in the fresh air and scents of the forest trees and grass, she felt it had absolutely been worth it.
The leaves and twigs littering the forest floor in autumn crunched loudly underneath her crimson red painted boots as she marched on. She was eager, almost desperate, to get and feel as far away from her life as she reasonably could. The drive here had been the worst kind of torture. With her car's radio broken, she had been forced to drive alone in silence and her mind started to wander. She had thought of how much she hated her job, and how unfulfilled and trapped it made her feel. Felicity thought of her devastated love life, never quite the same after her last real boyfriend had come out as gay and unceremoniously dumped her for her brother, Benjamin.
Ever since then, her love life had been nothing but rough. She liked doing athletic activities whenever she could and loved how it helped to empty her mind and lift her mood. She would often go bike riding, hiking and play any sport with anyone wished to play with her. The big problem was, it left her with a toned, muscular physique that only seemed to attract meat-headed guys who thought she'd open her legs for them if they proved they were as fit or more than she was. The only other people who seemed interested in her were girls who thought she swung
that
way just because most of her interests didn't really align with what a girl was "supposed to like". Obviously, neither of those parties ever got anywhere with her. Then there was Mom and Dad.
She loved them, of course. They were wonderful and supportive people, at least when they weren't going on about how she needs to date someone because they're afraid that she'll end up alone. She was convinced at this point that all they really cared about were getting grandchildren to spoil, and she supposed she could understand that but she wasn't going to settle for someone who didn't appreciate her for
her
. Of course getting to
that
stage would require somebody with enough caring and patience to actually get to know her. She figured she would find a Mister Right just for her someday, but if not she had promised her parents that she would adopt when she turned 40. They agreed but weren't exactly thrilled about having to wait for 11 more years when they all celebrated her 29th birthday together last month. The only real highlight of that birthday dinner had been the pleasant exclusion Benjamin and her ex.
The wind whipped up out of nowhere, sending her medium-length raven black hair billowing around her and right into her eyes. She let out a surprised shriek followed shortly after by an annoyed groan as she got what she could out of her eyes and started to head towards a pond she knew was nearby. She knew the water wouldn't be super clear, but it should still provide enough of a reflection to fix her hair if she was lucky enough to get enough light shining in it. She went through a couple of trees she knew marked the path towards the ponds, learned from an entire childhood playing in this forest with her parents and her brother. To her pleasant surprise, it seemed luck was actually on her side today.
The pond gleamed in the sunlight and Felicity stepped up to it, catching the reflection of her deep green eyes as she started getting her hair back in order. In truth she had wanted to tie it back or wear a hat but nothing seemed to match her chosen outfit today, a sky blue flannel button up shirt and khaki hiking shorts. When she first found the outfit in her closet she had laughed, thinking it would make her look like a rugged mountaineering version of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz but she was glad she chose it now. It felt somehow right for this outing, like she was going to come across something wonderful and new today.
Thinking about it, looking for something new and wonderful in these woods she grew up in sounded great. It would be just the thing she needed to really feel like she was getting away from her everyday slog, and so she bid the beaten path farewell. Picking a direction that wouldn't just lead back to the parking lot and her car, she set off through the trees. There was a small thrill she felt doing this, wandering around where most people would be too afraid to go. She breathed in the forest air again with a deep inhale. She loved the smells of this place, especially as they danced with the fresh air in the wind.
Unfortunately, this state of mind caused her to make the mistake of walking through the forest without stopping to make sure she kept her bearings. The contented little tune she was humming ceased immediately as she darted her head all around to see everything in this new part of the forest without paying proper attention to where she was walking and ran face-first into something hard and flat. She swore loudly as she fell backwards onto her ass, tenderly checking her nose once she had regained her footing to make sure she hadn't broken it. As she got back up onto her feet, she looked to see what it was that she had bumped into.
Warning, Mating Season in progress! Please do not enter into the woods past this sign!
It was somebody's stupid sign! Why was this even placed out here on a stake instead of on a nearby tree anyway?
Besides
Felicity thought,
Nothing that lived in these woods enters mating season at this time of the year
. She took another look at the sign. There was no official seal or statutes listed, and it was completely handmade. Admittedly the craftsmanship and penmanship on this sign were phenomenal, but it clearly wasn't official. She knew that this had to be somebody's stupid prank, and worse yet it was somebody's stupid prank that made her fall on her ass!
Well she wasn't going to listen to this sign. In fact, she was going to do
precisely
what this sign wanted her
not
to do! She dusted off the back of her shorts and proceeded to walk slowly and triumphantly past the offending hunk of wood, flipping it off the entire way and continuing on her hike. It didn't take her long to get over her irritation at first but as she kept walking, she kept coming across more signs in the woods that would renew that irritation. She made a point to cross each sign with a single-finger salute as she came across them and before she even knew it, she was ridiculously deep into the woods where even the light from the sun was starting to become dimmer.
To make matters worse, it started to rain out of nowhere and