Decisions

Author's Notes: Sorry for the wait, but here's to 2017. Enjoy!

Dedicated to Chris. Go be the best damn doctor you can be.

*****

Chapter 1:

I sighed, taking a sip of water from the glass on my desk. I picked up my pen once more, scanning the paper in front of me. I was currently going through club paperwork that Principal Finch forgot to give me before Winter Break. It was already near the end of January and we left for Winter Break in the middle of December. The resulting backlog was enough to make Ms. Casarano run away in fear.

I felt the same way, to be honest. This was the most vexing thing I've done in a long time, and I've done some vexing things.

I scribbled my signature on the bottom of the paper, approving a club's ability to buy t-shirts. Anything they wanted had to go through the administration, even if it came out of their own budget. I felt like it was unnecessary, but since Principal Finch required it, I had to follow her rules. She gave me a little leeway, but not that much leeway where I could shirk my duties.

I squinted at the words on the next form, the blocky ink suddenly becoming very blurry. I rubbed my eyes, hoping that it'd clear it up. When it didn't, I gave a groan of frustration, hitting my head on my desk.

"Ow."

"Chris? You ok?" Stasi's voice came from my computer. I looked up at the screen, Stasi's face staring back at me. Her raven hair was undone, black ringlets framing her sculpted face. Through the computer screen, her soft blue eyes looked at me with concern. "Zaichik? Can you hear me?" She tapped her computer. "Is my mic working?"

"Yes. It's working." I groaned. "I'm fine. This is just so..."

"Tedious? Monotonous? Repetitive?" She suggested, a hint of a teasing smile on her lips.

"Boring." I decided. "This is boring as all hell."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "What would you be sorry for?"

"Not sure. I'm still sorry. Do you want me to come over? I can help you out if you want... in more ways than one." Stasi said, an impish grin.

"I'm fine." I answered, despite my entire being begging me to say otherwise. I wanted her with me. "My parents are home, so if you come over, we won't really be able to do anything... you know. I'll just complain about all this, then you'll end up finishing it for me, then I'll feel guilty, then yaddy-yada-yada, we won't to spend time to ourselves, blah blah blah."

I picked my head up, clicking my pen and scribbling my name at the bottom of the paper without even reading it. I didn't care if I just signed my soul away. If I couldn't read it, I damn well was going to get it out of the way.

"Awh, Chris." Stasi cooed in her adorable accent. "I don't mind helping you with your school paperwork. Really, I don't. I love you, it's certainly no pain to me to help the man I love. We don't even have to have to... you know..." I raised my eyebrows and she caught on, her smile splitting her face. "Here, we'll do your paperwork. Then we can play video games, study, or do homework. Anything, really, to help you decompress. You only have to say the words."

"Stasi, I.." I argued, only halfheartedly. With the true intuition of a woman, she picked up on it, a grin spreading across her gorgeous features.

"Say no more. I'm on my way!" She sang, much too fast for me to even give a cognizant reply. She stood up, picked up the jacket that was hanging on her computer chair and blew me a kiss. "See you in a little bit, Chris. Love you." She said, before shutting off her computer. As the video chat disconnected, I stared at the computer screen, a smile spreading across my face.

With these things, she just knew that I wanted her with me and by my side. Or, maybe she just wanted me with her. I never really knew with this kind of stuff... except for one thing.

"I love you." I said, to the smiling picture of Stasi that was my wallpaper. "Always have."

I could've sworn I heard her whisper 'Always will' into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

*****

"This is so..." Stasi began, sifting through the paperwork, her eyes bugging out behind her thick glasses.

"Tedious? Monotonous? Repetitive?" I asked, a smirk on my face despite the haggard look in my eyes.

"Excessive." Stasi decided. "This is really excessive."

"Right?" I agreed. "It seems so unnecessarily bureaucratic."

"Oooh, that's a nice vocab word." She noted, kissing me on the cheek. "Good work, lyubov." She went back to examining the paper, sucking on her pen, her fangs just slightly accentuating her cute smile. They got bigger when it was time to feed, not so much now. "No, but seriously... this feels so unnecessarily 'bureaucratic'. Here, look at this." She held up the slip. "Two hundred dollars for a class trip to..." She looked at the paper, squinting at the tiny font. "Where are they going?"

"The California Academy of Sciences." I said, recalling the name from my memory.

"Holy mackerel! They're going there? How come I wasn't told of this?!" Stasi gaped. "How are they even going to get in?"

She was a huge aficionado of science, specifically biology. When she was younger, she always secretly told me that her dream was to create the cure to vampirism, or at least their thirst for blood. She wanted to do that because growing up, she always hated herself because of what she was, of what she could do to me. Her thirst for blood growing up strained our relationship as best friends at first, but we got over it. Once we made the proverbial leap to lovers, I think with my help, she came to embrace that part of her, rather than try and suppress it.

Now, I think she just wants to find the cure to cancer.

"They got admission because our science department head talked to a few people. Besides, it's for the sophomore honors chemistry class." I said, plucking the slip out of her hand. Stasi pouted and I placated her with a soft kiss. "I'll take you there one of these weekends."

"Promise?" She asked, bumping her hip into mine.

"Promise." I answered. Stasi puckered her lips and I leaned in once more. As soon as I leaned in, she grabbed the back of my head and forced my lips onto hers, giving me a kiss that turned me into a puddle. When we broke it, we were both gasping.

"Oh god... what were you saying?" I breathed, once she broke the kiss.

"Huh?" Stasi asked, her pale vampiric cheeks tinged pink. She rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. "Oh. Right, I was saying that this seems so unnecessary. There should be a committee for this. They shouldn't just throw everything at the top of the chain of command."

"It's the growing pains of a new school, unfortunately. We'll just have to manage. I don't mind it. It's like back at Jefferson when I was an office assistant for Mrs. Speers." I took the paper from Stasi and scribbled my signature at the bottom of the form, approving it. I set it on the nightstand on the growing stack of forms.

"Yes, well, Viktor wasn't."

"Wait... what? What does Viktor has to do about this?"

"Viktor wasn't an office T.A. You know, he's thinking of running for student office next year. Do you think he'd win?"

I blinked, a smile spreading across my face. Being a senior, Principal Finch notified me that I should start thinking of candidates to pass the torch of school president off to. Viktor would certainly be a great school president. Determined, idealistic, somewhat popular, and very kind. All good traits to have. "I think he'd have good chances."

"Really?"

"Really. Are you staying the night?"

"Nyet." Stasi replied. I internally groaned in disappointment, but that promptly disappeared when I looked at Stasi, seeing her smiling back at me. "I only came here in my pajamas and brought my stuff in my backpack for no reason other than to lie here in bed with you, help you with your work, and drive back home when it's super late past curfew."

Our security detail, much to our dismay, decided that it'd be beneficial to tighten our curfew. We couldn't be out and about past eight o'clock, when it was pitch black outside. We normally weren't out that late, but the thought that we were being restrained irked us.

"They say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." I noted.

"I know, I'm sorry. That was mean." She replied, apologetically. "Of course I'm staying the night. I missed you."

"I missed you, too." I said, sincerely. It physically and mentally hurt me when I was apart from her. Having lived a huge majority of my life with her by my side, we were inseparable. When she wasn't there, I felt empty, broken, and miserable. "Now, back to work?"

"Let's." She agreed, turning back to the paper. "Why does this have two copies?"

"Must be an error." I mused.

"What should I do with it?" She asked.

"Just throw it in the trash can." I said. She nodded, crumpling up the paper, cocking her arm back to toss it into my small trash can that was across the room. I snorted. "Good luck with that, Stasi. That shot's nearly impossible to..."

The trash can made a small ding as the paper bounced off the rim and into the trash can. "Oh nice, you made it."

We continued to work throughout the night, putting a substantial dent in the stack of papers that Principal Finch dropped in my lap. Just as I finished the last form, whooping in celebration, my mom knocked at the door. My parents had their own distinguished knocks. My dad was a 'boom boom', like a police officer conducting a search warrant. My mom was a 'tap tap', almost as if she was afraid of disturbing the paint.

"Come in." I called out.

The door opened, both my mom poking her head in. "What is with all that rack-... oh... hello, Anna. When did you get here?" She asked, warmly. Although Stasi was surprised, I wasn't. I knew from the mischievous glint in her brown eyes that she knew Stasi was here. She was giving us a quick grace period to save our dignity, just in case we were doing anything 'compromising'.

"Hi, Susan." Stasi chirped, sitting up. She was taking a quick break, lying down in between my legs. We were watching Interstellar. "I got here around an hour ago. I just missed Chris and wanted to see him. Sorry for all the noise."

"Oh, sweetie, it isn't a problem at all!" My mom beamed. "You should've seen Chris when you weren't here. He was moping and sulking all around the place. But, isn't it a school night?"

"It's Friday, isn't it?" I asked, checking my phone. Sure enough, the screen relayed back to the three of us that it was indeed Friday. My mom slapped her forehead, making Stasi and I laugh.

"Oh, I guess it is! Silly me." As silence overtook my room, she looked around. "May I come in?"

"Sure." I replied, pausing the movie. My mom grinned, walking into my room. She pulled out my computer chair, sitting down on it. She looked at my desk, particularly the pictures I had taped to the wall. There were a bunch, no single one larger than the other or taking a better spot. They all had equal value to me.

"You all grew up so fast... my babies are about to go off to college." She said, glassy eyed. "Did you two get your acceptance letters to UCLA, yet?"

"No." Stasi answered, rubbing her arm. "They don't deliver those until March, I'm afraid." She looked at me, an anxious expression on her face. I knew what it meant... and so did my mom.

"You take those thoughts right out of your head right now, Annie. You remember what Mr. Lee said during Thanksgiving? Just because of what you are doesn't mean he'll suddenly change his mind. He's a professor. I'm sure he has sizeable influence with the applications committee."

"I'm still a bit worried." Stasi confessed. "These things happen. UCLA isn't exactly notorious for a mixed species student body. What if there's a mixup?"

"There won't be." I declared, clutching onto her cold hand. "You're going to get in. They'd be stupid if they didn't accept you. Vampire or not."

Stasi softly smiled at me. "Spasibo, lyubov." Her eyes flitted over to my mom.

"Don't let me stop you from doing anything." My mom said, happily.

Stasi smiled shyly and leaned in, giving me a quick chaste kiss on the cheek. She was always so sexually confident in what she did when we were alone. But as soon as her parents, my parents, or anyone else was in the room, she turned so demure and shy. It was endearing and even a bit sexy.

We conversed with my mom for a few more minutes, but when Stasi saw me try to stifle a yawn out of the corner of her eye, she bundled me in blankets and ordered me to go to sleep. My mom was quite happy to agree and I was too.

Or so I would've thought.

*****

The cold wind snarled and swirled around me, biting at my face, snapping it's jaws at my exposed skin. I didn't care. I was too much in my own thoughts to care about anything at the moment. All I could hear was one thing.

Screaming. Horrible, horrible screaming. I stood there, staring off to the distance as everyone ran around me, snow getting tossed up in the air. My heart thumped in my chest as I glanced into the abyss, simply watching. I was too frozen to do anything. My eyes trailed downwards to my stomach, a dark, irregular circle growing on the clingy fabric, hot and wet. I brought my hands to the spot, pressing down on the wound. I got to press as hard as I wanted. I didn't feel pain. I was numb.

"Lyubov..?" A raspy voice whispered. Far, far away. Yet so close, as if it was in my ear.

I turned my head, squinting through the wintery landscape. My eyes roved across the frozen tundra, taking everything in, until...

No.

No, god, please no.

No, no, no, no, NO.

"Chris...?" She rasped again, reaching for me, her broken body on the ground. "Chris..."

My feet as heavy as lead bricks, I walked to her... no, not to her. To them. My feet crunched on the snow. I finally reached them, but one person struck out, my body stooping down low to look over her, to protect her, to love her. The one most important to me. Tears were in her eyes, horrible tears that left trails of blood in their wake. Her beautiful face was contorted in agony, her lip trembling. "Chris..." She repeated.

Stasi. I tried to say.

"Chris!" She rasped.

Stasi! I tried to scream.

"Chris!"

Stas-... I opened my eyes, blinking to adjust to the sudden darkness in the room. I took in deep gasps of air, looking around in a panic.

"Chris!" Stasi hissed on top of me, her weight pressing down on my stomach. "Lyubov!" She placed her hands on my jaw, looking deep into my eyes. When she saw I was awake, she heaved a sigh of relief, kissing me on the face, cheek, lips, neck. "Oh... Chris." She murmured, tearfully.

"Stasi?" I choked out, tentatively reaching up and stroking her cheek. She grabbed ahold of my hand, keeping it in place on her cheek.

"I'm here, zaichik. It was just a nightmare," She whispered, gently. "A horrible, horrible nightmare. You're ok, Chris. Do you want a hug?"

"Yes, please." I mumbled. Just as I began to relax, she attacked me in a hug, wrapping her arms around my neck. I clung onto her, holding her willowy frame tight to me. I was afraid she was a phantom, that she wasn't real. But she was. There was no blood, no screaming. It was just us. I clung onto her, my breathing coming out in ragged heaves. Stasi ran her fingers through my hair, simply cradling my head in her arms.

"Chris, what happened?" She murmured.

"I don't know." I answered. Already, the details of it were starting to fade away, but the image of her broken body for the world to see was going to haunt me for a long time. I pressed my forehead into the crook of Stasi's cool neck, my breathing heavy. My eyes flickered around the room, subconsciously checking to make sure everything was there. My digital alarm clock, my posters, my pictures, and my strewn about laundry. Yes, it was my room.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Stasi gently prodded. I shook my head no. "Ok, lyubov." She kissed me on the forehead. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I just want you to know that I love you and I'm still here." She pushed forward, propelling me backwards so I laid back down on the bed.

"I'm still here." She cooed.

"Stasi...?" I asked.

"Hm...?"

"I love you."

Her eyes closed and when she opened them, her crystal blue irises were watery. "I love you too, Chris. Always have. Always will." She settled down next to me, eyeing the clock. "I'm here with you. Go back to sleep. I'll meet you there. Just sleep."

I closed my eyes, clinging onto her like a vice. Stasi gently rocked me, croaking softly. I strained my ear to hear what she was saying, until I realized that she wasn't saying anything. She was singing. It was a quiet and comforting lullaby. Her own version of Coldplay's 'Fix You'.

She wasn't Chris Martin but I liked to think she was better. The song struck a chord deep in my heart. It was a song that we both tried to master playing when she was younger, me on my dad's guitar and her on her old family piano. When she finally finished, she kissed me on the forehead, whispering that she loved me in my ear.

Needless to say, that nightmare never reoccurred that night. However, it was, and forever would be ingrained in my mind; a wanton phantom of the worst of anything that could ever happen if I continued on my path.

*****

It was nice being able to take it easy during the second semester. That meant that Stasi was allowed to come over and stay over more often, and vice versa. Her parents didn't mind so long as she was productive when she came over and her grades didn't slip up. They loved their daughter and were giving her independence. My parents were the same with me.

So, come Sunday morning, when my eyes fluttered awake, I found I was the last to wake up. My eyes glanced around the darkened room, the sunlight of the morning unable to filter in through the heavy curtains. Stasi was already wide-awake, watching me. When my eyes found her, she breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

"Doboye utro." She murmured.

"Good morning to you, too." I replied. "How long were you awake?"

"A few hours." She admitted, stifling a yawn. "I didn't... well, before you get guilty, the correct word is couldn't. I couldn't fall back asleep after waking up. Maybe it was vampirism or maybe I was just concerned for you." She traced her nails on my chest, her cold fingertips causing gooseflesh to pop up. "You're not mad that I watched you sleep, are you?"

"Of course I'm not... no matter how creepy that sounds. I can't be mad over something you have no control over. Good thing we don't have class today."

"Yup. I hate it when I wake up in the middle of the night. I can never fall back asleep and I'm dead during the day, even with my medication. One of the drawbacks of being a vampire, I suppose." She sighed. "All I can say is I don't want to fall asleep in Mr. Coppergut's class again, no matter how much he loves us. He'll probably give me detention."

"I'm sorry." I apologized.

"For what?"

"For waking you up."

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. You don't have to apologize." She said, propping herself up on her elbow and staring at me, with those icy blue eyes of hers. "We all get them. Nightmares, I mean."

"It was about you." I blurted. We told each other everything, and the fact that I was withholding it from her hurt her. I saw it in her eyes. She wanted to know, but as soon as the words left my mouth, I bit my tongue. I regretted those words instantly when I saw the flurry of emotions in Stasi's pale, sculpted face. A flash of surprise, confusion, than sadness.

"Really?" She asked, her voice cracking. "What was I doing? Did I hurt you?"

"No. No, you didn't. You'd never hurt me, we both know that. You were the one that was hurt." I admitted.