So this section started to get really long. I decided to cut it in half while I finish it up because it was just taking too long to get to a more natural break in the story.
I've thought for some time I need an editor. One of the biggest time sucks with this story is endless re-readings looking for typos and grammatical errors and every time I find a new one. It's driving me nuts. So if anyone out there is interested, let me know.
As always I welcome comments, requests, criticisms, really any and all types of feedback. I know a lot of people have read this story but I'm eager to hear if I can make it better. I can't workshop this with other med students after all.
Thanks for reading!
*****
"I felt the sun yesterday"
Cole's hand, which had been drifting lazily over her back stopped at her words. Shane suddenly saw the world from the bottom of the pit where he had been held captive. She saw the small beams of sunlight making their way down towards her, terror in her throat as the burn of a new day came. Cole shook his head, jerking the memory away. Her heart caught when she realized that was his memory, not hers. She had somehow shared in it, if only for a moment.
"Are you alright?" Cole's voice was tight with concern. He shifted back, so they lay on their sides facing each other once more. She felt guilty, realizing he assumed, as she had, that she would suffer as he did under the glare of the sun. Somehow she now had to tell him that what brought him terror actually filled her with life. She pushed away the feeling.
"I'm fine." She found herself saying that too often. "It was strange. I thought it would hurt, I thought it might kill me. But it didn't. It felt like nothing I had ever experienced." She tried not to make eye contact as she poured out her story, her terror at being trapped and the amazement at finding that she was not only unhurt but actually enhanced. She described the feeling of sensing more, being able to hear farther and better. "I think it might be closer to what you feel like all the time," she finished with a rush of breath. She hadn't realized how fast she had been talking.
Cole rolled onto his back, gazing up with an unreadable expression on his face. He was quiet for a long moment. Shane tried not to squirm as the silence stretched out.
"Is that why you fought the wolves?" Cole asked finally, "Because you felt stronger?"
"I fought them because I had no choice. I survived because I was stronger." Was she really going to have to explain him that she didn't just leap into battle because she was looking for a thrill?
"Because you were outside and they got between you and the safe house." He wasn't trying to scold her but he needed to hear her admit she had had some hand in the danger she found herself in. She had to understand so he could keep her safe.
"I was outside because I was going insane down here." Shane snapped. She felt her frustration was rising in her throat. She was hurt. This was not how she imagined he would spin this news. Was he going to keep treating her like a child? She sat up in bed, pulling her knees up to her chest with the tangled sheet so she could cover herself. Her back was to him now, long waves of her hair falling down her bare skin. Cole itched to run his fingers through it but something held him back. He watched her back rise and fall as she took a deep breath. "You didn't tell me the withdrawal was more than just the physical pain. I had to leave to keep myself from thinking about how much I wanted more." The hurt grew, radiating towards him. "And I didn't know ifโwhenโyou were coming back. For all I knew you weren't."
"Shaneโ" Cole began. He slid his hand against the skin of her back, finally running his fingers against the silky strands of her hair. He moved to sit up next to her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her towards him. "Of course I was coming back."
Her eyes were bright as she continued to stare at the far wall. "You wouldn't be the first person who said that to me."
Cole had nothing to say in response. He had left her, still weak and recovering. He had done it for her safety, but he had left her behind nonetheless. He stupidly hadn't considered the possibility of his safe house being compromised. He had also underestimated the complex nature of the situation back at the council. How was he going to do this now? He couldn't bring her there. It was too dangerous. He could never leave her again. Could he abandon the council to its war? They had the Night's guard now. Did they really need him? Perhaps he should just disappear again, take Shane away from all the fightingโkeep her safe.
"I know that's not fair," Shane said quietly. "I know you came back for me so my doubts were unwarranted, but it doesn't change the fact that it was a valid fear yesterday." She frowned. "Was it yesterday?"
Cole hugged her closer. "Nearly two days ago."
Shane blinked. "How long did I sleep?"
"You fought the wolves Wednesday evening. I arrived Thursday morning. It's Friday early morning now."