Author's Note:
This
Halloween Contest
tale is a bit outside my comfort zone, but I had fun writing it. I hope you have fun reading it. My sincere thanks to Demosthenes384bc for his helpful comments on an earlier draft.
*******
I'd seen some weird shit inside abandoned storage units, but what I saw that night in November took the cake. By a mile.
Here's the way it worked: you'd sign a contract saying you got so many months of missed payments before we could declare your unit abandoned and confiscate your stuff. Then we'd auction it off to recoup the lost rent.
Our place allowed you four months of missed payments, but that's only because Abe was a softie. Most rental owners cut their losses a lot sooner.
Confiscation sucked for occupants of the unit, but it was always kind of a thrill for me. You never knew what you'd find. So as my feet crunched across the gravel toward unit C42 that chilly night, it was with a sense of excitement and anticipation.
A light mist swirled around my ankles as I reached the unit. I hefted the 36-inch bolt cutters into position, then saw the door had no padlock. Shit. The owner had probably already cleared out all the good stuff.
As I raised the folding metal door, my stomach dropped. The interior of the unit was almost entirely empty. Almost. A single item lay on the center of the concrete slab: a large wooden coffin.
I flipped on the light switch, then froze at the threshold and peeked over my shoulder. I half expected βmaybe hoped would be more accurateβto see Abe standing there, stifling a laugh over his extravagant prank.
But there was nothing. Even the mist seemed to have disappeared.
I tiptoed into the unit and approached the coffin. It was a simple pine box design, like the type you might see in an old Western movie. Or a vampire one.
I raised the bolt cutters with both hands and stretched them forward until the tip was just a few inches from the wood.
Poke.
Poke, poke.
Nothing.
It had to be empty. I mean, who would leave the rotting remains of their deceased loved one locked up inside a storage unit? It was probably just some woodworker's abandoned project.
I considered grabbing a wooden stake, just to be safe, but decided I was being silly. I'd just throw open the lid, confirm that it was empty, then laugh at myself for acting like such a chicken.
I set down the bolt cutters behind me, curled my fingers under the coffin lid, and raised it a few inches. I expected to hear an ominous creak, but the hinges were whisper quiet. Somehow, the silence was even creepier. I held my breath and swung open the lid.
The coffin wasn't empty.
Inside lay the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She looked to be around my age, maybe mid-20s. Raven-black hair fell in gentle curls to her shoulders, contrasting with her fair skin and making it appear even paler, almost ethereal. She wore a light blue ballgown that looked like something a London aristocrat from the 1800s might wear, except that its lower half was streaked and spattered with mud.
She had high cheekbones, a narrow chin, and thin lips. I was mesmerized by the way the light seemed to dance and shimmer deep within her cornflower blue eyes. Those eyes were captivating. They were magic. They were ... open. And they were staring at me.
What happened next is a little fuzzy. She screamed. I screamed. She sat bolt upright. I tripped over my bolt cutters. My head smacked the ground. She leapt from her coffin.
"Oh, shit!" she said, hands cupped over her lips. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I said, rubbing the back of my head. It hurt like hell. "I'm fine."
"Is it bleeding? Here, let me have a look." She started toward me.
"No, really." I said, sliding backward a few feet. "I'm good."
I checked my fingertips and was relieved to find there was no blood.
She closed the distance between us and extended her hand. "Amber."
I grabbed it and she yanked me to my feet. She was a lot stronger than she looked.
"Hans," I said. "Sorry for scaring for you."
"Hans?" she said. "That's an unusual name!"
I raised my eyebrows and glanced at her gown, then at the coffin she'd just jumped out of.
"Right," she said. "Maybe not as unusual as ... other things." She rocked back and forth on her toes. "I'm sure all of this looks kind of odd."
"That's because it is odd," I said. "This some sort of sorority pledge stunt? Pretend to be a vampire for a night?"
"Afraid I'm not pretending." She smiled and flashed a pair of glistening white fangs.
"Oh, so you're a
real
vampire? Cool. Mind if I get a selfie? Just want to document my encounter with the living dead."
"Knock yourself out."
I draped an arm around her shoulder and angled my phone above us. "Okay. Say 'hellspawn' on three. Ready? One, two, three."
"Hellspawn!" we called in unison.
I started to put my phone back in my pocket.
"Can I see it?" she asked.
"Sure." I flipped to my photos, pulled up the image, and froze. The photo showed me, an enormous fake smile plastered across my face, with my arm wrapped around empty air.
I whirled to face her and took several slow steps backward. "How'd you do that?"
"Believe me now?"
I stared at her fangs as I continued to back away.
"Hey! My eyes are up here, buddy."
"Are ... are you going to kill me?" I asked, certain I already knew the answer.
I didn't expect what happened next, which seemed to be the theme for the evening. She started to cry. Softly at first. Like she was trying to hold it in. Then she slumped against the coffin and dissolved into sobs.
"Hey. What's the matter?" I asked. She kept crying.
I shuffled forward a few steps and patted the top of her head with my open palm. "You're okay," I said. "Don't cry." Then I scooted quickly backward.
"You're really bad at this," she said, glancing up at me. Tears streaked her cheeks. "It's like you're petting a dog."
"In my defense, you haven't said whether you're going to eat me."
"I'm not going to eat you."
"Okay." I started toward her, then paused again. "It's just ... that's exactly what I'd tell someone if I were going to eat them."
"Fuck!" she screamed, pounding her fists into the concrete. "This is all his fault. How could I be so stupid?"
Her tears dried as her anger grew. She clenched and unclenched her fists while she mumbled under her breath. I took another step backward. She noticed.
"What the fuck are you doing here, anyway?" she said. "This is my place."
"I work here."
"So? That doesn't give you the right to break in."
"Yeah. See, here's the thing... you promise not to eat me?"
She raised an open palm like she was making a solemn pledge, then flipped her hand around and lowered all her fingers except the middle one.
"Well, you're in violation of your rental contract for nonpayment. It's my job to confiscate your things and clear out your unit."
"Unbelievable," she said, shaking her head. "He promised he would pay for me to stay as long as I wanted. Of course, why would he tell the truth about that? He lied about everything else!"
With that last sentence, she stood and tossed the coffin into the air. It bounced off the ceiling and slammed into the concrete floor, shattering into a dozen pieces.