Jonah
The storm finally broke. My first love, my darling, the source of years of affection, was mine. Was this even possible? She loved me. She actually loved me. I could spend eternity in bed with her, exploring her body and memorizing her topography. When I checked my phone I saw 1 missed call from Mandy and several texts. I'd get back to her later, I thought. I was sure she was just pissed we didn't get anything juicy last night.
I went home, showered, and slept a little more. I awoke blissfully calm for the first time in a while. I thought about texting Vanessa but remembered I promised to give her time. I decided it was time to deal with Mandy and so I called her back.
"Jeez it's a pain to get in touch with you. Are you home?" She asked.
"Yeah I am." I guess I could do this in person.
"On my way." She spoke, hanging up a second later.
I answered the door to a smiley Mandy. She sat at my dining room table and asked me to do the same.
"I know this isn't good news to you like it is to me...but I am actually pregnant this time around." My thoughts thundered in my head and for a few minutes I heard nothing else. The universe was playing a cruel joke. This was impossible. And...Vanessa. Oh god I needed to talk to Vanessa.
"I meant what I said. I am not wanting you to be involved; this isn't entrapment. I don't want this kid to be around someone who doesn't love his/her mom and is forced to hang around. I want my child to grow up seeing a good relationship, or none at all."
"Yeah," Was all I could say. For better or worse, I would be a father. I just needed to convince Ness to stick around. Why would she though? I couldn't blame her for leaving and not looking back.
Mandy tried to discuss some more details with me and I half-listened through it all. I had fucked up-what sort of egoism allowed me to believe everything would go back to being okay after all the shit I had caused? I was a complete moron.
"I can take a test here if you want proof." She offered. "I brought one."
"If you want," I told her. It explained the swollen breasts, and while I knew she wasn't lying this time, I could hope. She disappeared to my bathroom and I walked to sit on the edge of my bed and wait for her. I heard her pee and then she opened the door and waited in the doorframe looking at me, with an expression that hard to place. We waited in silence. After a couple of minutes she walked the test over to me. I felt nothing as I looked at it. I nodded and she went to throw it away.
"I want to help raise this child," I said, matter-of-factly. She nodded.
"We can share custody," She offered. I nodded again.
"Do you need money?" I asked.
"No. I am sure I will need help down the line for the bigger stuff but we can worry about that later." I nodded again. She came to sit next to me.
"I'm sorry. Really." She said.
"It's fine." I spoke. She nodded and got up to leave. I was alone.
Mandy
In some sense I had gotten everything I wanted: Jonah and Vanessa were irreparable, I was going to have a child, and Eddy and Vanessa had an expiration date as soon as the details of this twisted web were to come to light. Most of it was hollow though. Apart from the joy I was feeling at the prospect of this child, most of the other stuff was starting to feel petty.
Why did I care so much if Vanessa and Eddy dated? She wasn't really a bad person. I do think she genuinely made him happy, too. If she told him everything and he wanted to stay with her...I would try to help in any way that I could.
I texted Vanessa to see if she would meet me for coffee. I never knew pregnancy could leave such a desire for reparations. I got dressed slowly, trying on multiple items and imagining them with a distended belly. I smiled at this, finally settling on a form fitting top and shorts. I wanted to wear my slimmer items while I still could.
I met Vanessa at Cafe Ole at 2PM. She showed up looking stressed, but lovely. She grabbed an iced latte and I got an herbal tea. We sat in silence for a few seconds before I spoke up.
"I don't want us to hate each other. Truly. I know there was a lot between you and Jonah from before but he's the one who cheated on me. My issue was with him, not you. You owed me nothing-and I know you had..uhh, have perhaps, true feelings for him." Vanessa seemed to just absorb what I was saying.
"Also, I wasn't trying to use this pregnancy to trap him; he's free in any way he wishes. I do want some support in raising this child, but if you want to be together—"
"No," Vanessa interrupted. "I don't think that's necessary." She was wearing large sunglasses, and I got the sense there was more emotion hidden than she was letting out.
"That makes sense, I guess. Now, about Eddy..."I continued. Vanessa shifted in her seat at the sound of his name. "I introduced you, then I was mad you were together, and the whole thing was foolish. You make him happy, and I think you feel for him strongly as well. If you do, and if you tell him everything, and I do mean everything, and he wants to remain with you, I won't stand in your way. Hell, I will back you up. I haven't seen him this excited about a girl since, well, ever."
Vanessa seemed to digest this, "What are the odds that he would be okay with any of this? I mean...it's pretty ass backwards." She spoke. I nodded.
"I've known Eddy my whole life. He's kind, too kind, and understanding." I answered. Vanessa nodded back.
"So it's true then?" She asked, "You're pregnant." It was my turn to nod again.
"Congratulations? Is that even appropriate for me to say?" She tried.
I laughed, "Yeah, I think so. Thank you. I've wanted a child my whole life. I think we will all be okay." I said.
"Me too. I will talk to Eddy soon, promise." She said.
"Are your feelings for him genuine?" I asked. "I mean, do you want this?"
"I really do. He's...pretty amazing."
"I agree. Well, let's sort out this mess then."
Vanessa
It was surreal to have this conversation with Mandy, casually drinking at a cafe like nothing had even happened. As soon as Eddy told me the news I kind of broke down. I had wronged him, again, with a man who would break my heart for the last time. He realized something was wrong when he saw my face, but I hadn't told him anything that day. Instead, I told him I felt unwell and he left. To his credit, he never pushed things.
I did care for him. A lot. Sometimes the ghosts of the past leave a bigger impression than the actualities of the present. I didn't see why he would stick around, but I had to try.
I invited him to come over to dinner in two nights, and decided I would cook all of the three things I could cook. I pre-made chili the night before. The next morning I made mac and cheese and peach cobbler. I put on one of my most flattering dresses, a peachy one that hugged my waist and breasts and fanned out at the hips. It was one of my favorites and it felt like cheating. But I had to try everything. I brushed my hair out of my face for once, pinning it back. I applied eyeliner and a neutral and soft lip color. At least I could look good tonight, even if I was getting dumped.
He arrived right on time, at 7:30pm. I opened the door and saw a bouquet of white tulips. He smiled at me warmly and I hugged him immediately.
