As I stepped out of the Texas heat into the air-conditioned urology office, I felt a rush of heat that had little to do with the change in temperature. I'd been nervously anticipating my vasectomy appointment for several weeks, and now that the day had finally arrived, my anxiety was running high.
My wife and I had relied on her birth control pills for years, but as we both neared forty, she began requiring hormone replacement therapy that, unfortunately, mandated she stop using the pill. We tried using condoms for a time, but found that neither of us enjoyed the sensation as much, and it was finally agreed that if we wanted to enjoy our sex life the way we had before, a vasectomy was the best option to avoid pregnancy. I wasn't wild about the idea of somebody I don't know poking holes in the family jewels, but I'd committed, and so the appointment was scheduled for the following month. Now, as the procedure approached, I was seriously revisiting how important sex was anyway.
Schooling my face to calm and mentally squaring my shoulders, I approached the intake station and introduced myself. A stocky, African-American receptionist greeted me politely and handed me a short stack of forms to complete before being taken back to an examination room. After filling out the paperwork and returning her clipboard, I returned to my seat to await my turn.
It wasn't long in coming. Mere minutes passed before a side door by the reception desk opened inward, revealing a pretty Hispanic woman in her early forties.
"Mr. Mills?" she called. I rose, and she smiled warmly. Thick, curly black hair framed a modest bosom, on which a nametag Jackie Villanueva. "Right this way, please."
I followed her around the nurse's station and down a short hallway to a room at the end of the hall. She opened the door, allowing me to step inside as she followed me in. Taking a seat in one of the two spare chairs along the wall, I did my best to conceal my nervousness as Jackie seated herself on a wheeled stool by a sink and counter. Opening a manila folder, she briefly reviewed my responses to the questions on the paperwork I'd filled out moments ago.
"Okay, Mr. Mills, we're going to go through the process real quick. We'll apply a local anesthetic, after which the doctor will make a small incision in your scrotum. After locating the vas deferens, he'll simply remove a small section and cauterize the ends before applying a single stitch, then you're done! The whole thing takes just 10-15 minutes." She smiled again disarmingly. "Any questions before we get started?"
I tried not to gulp, but my anxiety must have been evident, because she placed a comforting hand on my knee. "Most guys are nervous beforehand, and most would tell you afterwards that there was no reason to be. Dr. Sharma has been doing this for almost 30 years, he's as good as they get." Despite myself, I felt my body relax a little at her words.
"No questions, I'm good."
"Okay then," she replied, all business again. She rose from her stool and turned to the door. "Go ahead and strip from the waist down and have a seat on the end of that table...there's a paper cover for you to drape over your lap. I'll let Dr. Sharma know you're ready, and he and I will be back in shortly to get started." She left the room, and I was left alone with my misgivings, which were returning in full force.
Sighing, I muttered to myself to man up and get this done. Standing and removing my shoes, I dropped my jeans and folded them onto the chair I'd just vacated, followed by the jock strap I'd been told to wear prior to the appointment. Seating myself on the ubiquitously loud and uncomfortable examination table, I had only just unfolded the paper cover before the door opened again and Jackie reentered, wheeling a metal tray table laden with surgical tools.
"Ready to go?" she asked without looking my way.
"Ready to go," I replied, and she wheeled the tray table alongside the examination bed.
"Okay Mr. Mills, go ahead and lay back on the table. I'm going to get you squared away and Dr. Sharma will be joining us as soon as he's finished with his last appointment."
I awkwardly laid back on the paper-draped table, my efforts to remain covered by the paper blanket rendered moot as Jackie folded the top end down to my knees, exposing my genitals to the sterile, chilly air. My penis and testicles shrank back against the cold, as if recoiling in anticipation of their impending discomfort.
Jackie didn't seem to notice. Humming to herself, she unfolded a second, smaller paper cover with a large hole in the center, placing it over my exposed lap and reaching through the hole to gently pull my genitals through before tucking the rest in around my legs. Carefully arranging my bits on top of the paper, she raised her eyebrows slightly.
"Did you read the instructions we sent to make sure you masturbated before the procedure?" she asked. I blanched. I'd seen that, but had completely forgotten in my anxiety.
"Um, I forgot," I mumbled embarrassedly. "Is that a problem?"
She clinically inspected my scrotum, lifting it for a better view. "Ideally, we prefer your testicles to be empty when we do this, as it relaxes them in the scrotum and allows easier access to the vas deferens." She considered moment, glanced at her watch, and then at the door. "One sec," she said, then rose and left. I lay on the table, exposed, hoping that I wouldn't have to reschedule this. I wasn't sure I had the stones to follow through with it twice.
The door opened again moments later, admitting Jackie, before she closed it behind her. "Okay, he's still finishing up with his last patient." She handed me an empty sample cup. "I'm going to step out a moment, take a few minutes and masturbate into this. We can dispose of it for you."
I stared at her. "Seriously?" She shrugged noncommittally.
"Sure. You're hardly the first to miss that step, and it really makes a difference on how easily the procedure goes. I'll be back in a few minutes, try not to be long, okay?" And with that, she left the room.
I stared at the door, then at the plastic cup in my hand. I could not be less aroused. "Okay," I thought out loud, and reached for my cock. I focused all my mental energy on picturing Jackie without any clothes on and began stroking myself, but my efforts were wasted. I couldn't stop worrying about the scalpel sitting on the metal tray table a foot away from my left leg. So engrossed was I in attempting to overcome my nervous state in order to masturbate that I never heard the door open again some minutes later.
"How's it coming?" I nearly fell off the table in shock.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry," I muttered. "I didn't hear you come in." My cheeks felt like they were on fire, and my entire body seemed to shrivel with embarrassment.
"Relax honey, nothing I haven't seen before." She glanced down. "I get it, it's hard to get your mindset right in a place like this." She seemed to consider my predicament a moment, then glanced at the door. "I got you honey."
