He looked across the desk and considered his next steps carefully. This was expected but not in a good way. His annual appraisal was never a good time, but on this occasion three managers were sat before him giving judgment on what had been a poor year.
First there had been the late report, then feedback from service users about his lack of understanding, and finally that day he was caught... let's say "staring" at his new manager. Whilst the first 2 issues were accepted, the last he felt was not his fault, although this was only ever voiced internally. Long story short his new manager, Ceedee, was bending over in front of him. He always noticed the dress she wore with black leggings underneath, and normally he would not let his eyes linger too long. But this one occasion, this one time he could make out slightly more of the curve of her body and he could not stop staring quite fast enough. Just in time for another manager to spot his voyeurism.
And so here he was, question after question. It was further not helped that Ceedee was included, wearing the same bloody chequered print dress and he knew that those black leggings were going to be present. His trousers tighten.
He always noticed her. When she briefly glanced in his direction he would hope her gaze would linger. Her gentle mocking would draw him closer and all he wanted to say was "more please", so that his ears could bath in the waves of her warm tones.
The conclusion of the meeting, "we'll get back you" - joy. He was asked if he understood what was expected of him going forward and if he could achieve this. He smiled, nodded and submitted to their seniority. He was finally instructed to leave, they had to cover off a few matters, which he already knew was most likely going to be at his expense. He slightly adjusted himself before he stood to hide his current mood. They smiled, it appeared hesitantly, all but one. Ceedee simply stated "I'll call you back in moment. Don't go far".
He sat at his desk, watching them through the glass as they all shared a little joke. He thought that they were each great managers, and he could not fault them. Just wrong timing for him.
As the other 2 managers exited the meeting room, Ceedee motioned with her fingers for him to return. As he entered the room her smell hit him like a wall, but it was somehow gently floral, not quite what he knew to be a perfume, it was more like a bodily scent, which he could not stop imaging coming off from her skin. He tried not to think about his groin.
"you saw me signal you?" the question pulled him sharply out of his day dreaming. "umm, yes" he responded. "but why were you looking in this direction? You're always looking in my direction. I see you"
"shit" he thought.
Ceedee looked at him hard "even after you have been warned about staring, there you are. Are you a pervert? Do I need to call HR?"
"NO, NO. I just knew you wanted me back" he lied. For the past few weeks he had been trying to push thoughts of touching her and smelling her hair out of his head.
Another hard stare, but this time with a long silence. Whilst he felt the sweat pour down his back, he felt himself fall into her eyes. "there are things I expect from my staff" she eventually stated. "Your staff?" he thought, but best to let it go. "and there are things I want", she continued.
She paused and looked at him. More silence. Was there something he was supposed to say? Expectations and wants, were they not the same? He felt that he was in some way being challenged, but he had no clue why. "you will stay late. I need to go home, but I will return. We will talk further then". And with a wave of her hand, he was dismissed.