The weekend was interminable. Thankfully, I didn't see too much of the missus; she went shopping with her girlfriends Saturday, then that evening I went out with my mates and got absolutely blind drunk, spending most of Sunday trapped in the bathroom and hurling like a champion. It was the best way to avoid her, I reasoned. I couldn't hide my guilt otherwise.
Monday came, and the day passed too quickly. The dreaded hour of five o'clock -- the hour when I had been ordered to meet Valerie, my boss and tormentor, the woman who knew about my use of company computers to download and upload explicit material and who had used it to blackmail me into submissive, sexual deeds -- the hour was nearly upon me, and I had not properly decided my course.
How could I go forwards? How could I go on? If I did not do exactly as 'No-Vadge Valerie' told me, if I dared to disobey: she would have my job, she would accuse me of attempting sexual transgressions against her, and she was good enough a lawyer that she would make the charges stick. She could ruin my life, destroy me forever, at a flick of her whim. But if I did what she wanted...
I loved my wife. I didn't want to cheat on her -- the very idea made me sick to my stomach. How I regretted my actions, the actions which had brought me to this point. Was it worth it? The seven hundred hours of illicit internet use, viewing pictures, reading stories, uploading stories, webcamming most indecently... I would gladly give it all back, have it all taken away, if it could save me from where I was now.
All the same, much as I wanted to do what was right, I knew I wasn't going to do the right thing. I wasn't going to stand up to Valerie, and confess all to my wife, and take all my punishments like a man.
I couldn't do it. I was too much a coward. I tried to tell myself it was because I loved my wife too much to hurt her, to ruin her, to drag her down with me when I lost my income and we would default on the enormous joint mortgage that we could barely afford as it was... first and foremost, I knew it really was because I was a coward, a liar, a dog. I was every bit the bitch that Valerie had labelled me. I deserved everything she dished out; I deserved every second of the very worst she could imagine for me, the very worst and more.
Before I really knew it, I had found myself back in the basement level of our building, in the dank little cubicle in a corner of the archival sections where I had committed all my sins. That was where Valerie had ordered me to be, at five o'clock... and she didn't make me wait long.
I heard her high heels clip-clopping down the darkened, abandoned hallway -- I heard her coming long before she got there. How had I not heard her approach last Friday, before she busted me naked and enormous and ready to come in front of my webcam? Had she tip-toed down the hall, hoping to catch me in some masturbatory act?
She kicked the door open, and simply stood there in the doorway: the architect of my doom. She loomed terribly, seeming to me bigger than she really was: a five-foot-six giant, clad in a nondescript charcoal pants-suit, her shoes a similar charcoalish colour, all of it designed to flatter her not at all, to hide the rather nice figure I had seen on Friday night when she had given in to her desires and stripped before me, as she pleasured herself while she made me pleasure myself in front of her.
She didn't let me dwell on the memories too long: "Strip," she commanded. "And in future: be naked before I get here. There's nothing I want to do to you that will involve you wearing your clothes," she promised.
I said nothing as I obeyed. Though I couldn't help but dwell upon what she had said: 'in future...' She was going to draw this out. She was going to keep dragging me back. This was gunna be hell.
She watched me in silence, taking in every piece of my body as it came into view: my chest, my stomach, my arms and legs... my butt, as I let my shorts drop, and then my cock as I turned to face her again.
"You're getting hard," she observed, dispassionately -- and it was the truth. Despite all my fears and misgivings, my wayward cock was swelling, growing perversely, starting its inexorable ascent towards its full skywards-pointing glory.
She looked up to catch my eye, all contempt and scorn. "You are such a bitch..." she murmured, with spite. "I can't believe you like this."
I felt compelled to defend myself. "I don't like this," I demurred. "I hate it."
"You love it," she nearly snarled -- though I think she took some delight in that I was prepared to speak up, to try to defend myself. "Look at you! Look at that swelling cock of yours! It's calling you a liar, Jizzy Jeremy!"
"I hate this," I told her again, my voice level, quiet, not forceful -- I had no force in me for a strong argument, but I had to try. I had to speak up. "I hate this. I love my wife, I wish... I wish..."
"Shut up!" she snapped. "You love this. Your cock loves it, so you must love it. Look at you! You're as hard as can be -- longer and harder than any cock I've ever seen!"
I sighed -- I wasn't sure how to explain away the actions of my wayward cock, how to explain it to her or to me. "What my cock loves, and what I love, is not always the same thing," I tried.
"Bullshit. You are such a man," she sneered, most derisively, making it sound like an insult. "You're an animal. You might try to tell yourself that you're not, that you're a good person, that you love your wife and you wish things hadn't come to this... but you're an animal. Your cock proves you an animal, and a liar," she nodded, with a terrible, twisted grin.
"Your cock loves this," she went on, when it became clear I had nothing more to say. "Your cock loves it. Your cock loves the shame, the indignity, the humiliation... look how hard it is! How long, fat, throbbing it is! And I haven't even got started!!" and she was almost hooting with black triumph.
I hung my head. She was probably right. I probably was little better than a useless, snivelling, fuck-hungry beast -- I was ready, for whatever she was going to do to me. I was defeated; I was a broken man; and she knew it.