Introduction:
This story is inspired by and in tribute to some of the women of this site who go in for the edgier and more extreme kinks and fetishes. I hope they appreciate it.
Brief Recap:
CapCunt and Kit-5 are finally done with The Ladies Shitting Party, Goddess Angelica...and all that shit. It's back to basics for them now: hard, rough use by dominants out to fuck them. But is that enough? Is there still something missing?
Chapter Ten
It had now been a month since The Ladies Shitting Party, and two months since our abduction for a weekend at the Portland Airport. I hadn't reached out to Kit-5 or heard from her in all that time, with the exception of our attendance at The Ladies Shitting Party. In the meantime, I'd busied myself with a few Doms I'd been seeing, and tried out a few more here and there.
The sex was fine, especially when I was allowed to cum, but I was increasingly feeling less and less from these encounters as time went on. There was a restlessness growing inside me. In a sense, it had been there most of my life, certainly throughout the majority of my marriage, from when the bloom wore off and I started feeling frustrated. I'd gotten to the point where the S & M games with the local men I found felt ordinary, just something to pass the time. I had to remind myself that there was a time when just being spanked would have been a life-altering experience. I would have given anything for it.
I started realizing that certain events had been acting as bulwarks against this malaise. The weekends with Kit-5, for instance. I hadn't realized it at the time, but now I finally began to understand...it wasn't just our shared experience and trauma that kept us coming together. We pushed each other, in ways only we could. Goddess Angelica, and her disgusting demands, also pushed my limits. No rational person would have surrendered to a woman like her, to have stayed on their knees while she practiced what for her was the ultimate manifestation of domination.
But I did. I willingly debased myself in that shower whenever I was summoned, and so did Kit-5.
But that was over now. So apparently, were my weekends with Kit-5. The last two had possibly presented us with an insoluble problem...how to push further.
On our last weekend in Portland, Kit-5 had engineered an abduction, and a weekend of cruel subjugation, as we were kept and used by a variety of men against our will. It was all staged of course, but could I have put a stop to it if I'd wanted to? What would have happened if I'd cried out for that? We didn't even have safe words, so what would I have said? It didn't really matter in the end. Both Kit-5 and I were going to go through with it, no matter how rough or unpleasant it seemed.
That probably would have been our final weekend together, if Goddess Angelica hadn't gathered us together with a group of other Mistresses and their slaves for The Ladies Shitting Party on that houseboat on a lake. Once again, Kit-5 and I were pushed far past any rational breaking point as we were used as human toilets for an entire weekend. Neither of us broke.
And now, all that seemed to be in my rearview mirror. I was in a new place in my life, and it didn't seem right. I was coasting. I was coming to the slow realization that I'd been chasing something for the past year, but I didn't know what. Or maybe I did, but just didn't want to admit it.
Life was actually simple compared to this before my divorce. I was unfulfilled, and had a pretty clear vision of what could fulfill me. And one thing was certainly true: I had felt more alive and present in my own life in this last year than I had for I don't know how many years before that. But I wasn't completely present. I was still sleepwalking through parts of it, avoiding truths, avoiding darkness I didn't fully want to embrace. Maybe that was what was behind this feeling of meaninglessness to my sexual trysts. Sure, maybe it was the men I was choosing to spend time with. But maybe, just maybe...it was me.
I arrived home one Saturday night after an evening spent in a hotel room with a married man. As usual, I'd been down for all the things he wanted from me. I was hand-cuffed, gagged, spanked, butt-fucked...all these things that should have ticked off my boxes. Yet, as I walked through my door, I realized I'd basically slept-walked through the whole thing. I didn't even remember the man's name at this point (or his F*t non-de-plume). I had to make it a point to even recall his face. I hadn't come close to cumming. I think I even knew I wasn't going to bother to try before I even got there.
But I needed to cum. Or, I at least felt I should for some reason. What would get me there? What was my go-to? I sat down with my laptop, and went straight to Duke's PornHub account. I hadn't looked at it lately. He'd added to his collection...a lot. There were over 400 video clips in there now. I scrolled through the pages until I finally found the one...mine. My first butt-fucking, in the back of that van in the parking garage of San Francisco International Airport.
I played it. As soon as it started, I was in two places again. I was here on my couch, and there in the van. I remember the terror, of being naked, bound and gagged on that mattress, feeling Kit-5's trembling body next to mine. I remember the feeling of helplessness as Duke positioned himself between my legs. I knew what was happening; I'd seen the bottle of lube passed from Sado-Chick in the passenger seat back to Duke. I'd heard his pants unzipped and pulled down, heard him rubbing his cock. I was finally about to lose my anal cherry, to get my ass fucked for the first time in my life, to finally feel a cock force itself in there...and I did.