While on my phone and I discovered that I was following a Life Coach and Counselor on social media. I did not recognize him but decided to reach out to him for help.
My first counseling appointment was scheduled to be in a suite in an extravagant hotel. He had explained that his office was being renovated and his clients would normally have their sessions at their home, but I was not about to invite him to my one bedroom apartment. I bought a tight black dress just for the first meeting, it was flattering on my body but not scandalous.
I arrived at the therapy session a few minutes late. Embarrassed, I knocked on the door. The Life Coach answered wearing cheap slacks, a cheap dress shirt, a clip on tie, and plastic dress shoes. "Welcome, welcome. I am Mr. Adams." he said, as he looked me up and down. "Hi, I am Lauren." I replied meekly.
I walked a few steps into the room, and he gestured for me to sit on the couch. He sat in a chair across from me, and grabbed his laptop. "Okay Lauren, let's begin with a few simple questions." He said not looking up. "Okay." I replied. I was already uncomfortable and we had not even started yet.
He looked up at me. "How old are you?" he asked. "I am 31," I said. He continued, "What is your orientation?" "Straight," I said."Alright. What is your relationship status?" He said. "Single" I replied. "Are you currently taking any form of birth control?'' He asked. "Um not currently, no." I said, unsure of the relevance of that question. He asked several more background questions, and I summarized my social life and past relationships for him.
"You mentioned sexual abuse, could you talk about that please?" He said. I rubbed my sweaty hands on the couch. "Ok, well. . .um, well my step father used to grab butt, my breasts and he would. . .um." I said feeling my heart race. The therapist looked intrigued "Please continue." he requested. "He would also force himself upon me. . ." I answered. I squeezed my hands together trying to comfort myself. "Have you ever told anyone else about this?" He asked. "No. I . . .I was scared." I said blushing.
"Walk me through it. What happened after the alleged abuse? How did it affect you?" He said. I looked out the window and then at my hands. " Alleged?? My Step Father moved away and I fell into a deep depression. . .I felt and still feel violated and betrayed. I hate him. Eventually, I tried to contact him and tell him how much I hate him, but I don't have any up to date information about him." I said.
He typed and said "Yes alleged. What did you wear while living with your step father? What did you do to communicate that you wanted him to stop?" He Then continued typing. "Uh, um I wore a bathrobe most of the time and was naked the rest of the time. I am not an exhibitionist, I just. . .I don't know. I did nothing to get him to stop because I was traumatised." I said.
He finished typing and closed his laptop. He made eye contact with me "And you blame him?" He asked, shaking his head. I sat up a little straighter and said, "Yes, I blame him. Nudity is not an invitation or consent. As my legal guardian it was his responsibility to take care of me, not to take advantage of me. I believe my resentment towards him is completely rational."
He lowered his head into his hand, "You really are broken and emotionally unstable. Nobody is going to love you as you are right now, you're lucky I am willing to put up with you." He stated, wiping his face with his hand. I didn't understand how he had come to those conclusions and did not know how to respond.
"You're too sensitive. What you experienced was hardly abuse. You're really petty to be so upset at your step father over some playful banter and some sex. Sex that was all your fault for dressing provocatively. This is exactly why nobody likes you." His tone grew more condescending as he spoke.
I looked at him confused. "It was my fault?" I asked. "I never said that." He lied. "But I just heard you say. . ." I said before he interrupted me. "I am not a liar." he said. "Yes sir." I said, a little scared.
He took a deep breath and sighed. I felt guilty for frustrating him, he seemed like he genuinely was trying to help. He took a sip of water and placed the bottle back on the floor by his chair, then reopened his laptop. "Let's continue, how often do you consume alcohol?" He asked. "I usually have a glass or two of wine at night. I don't get drunk except on special occasions."
"You drink to numb the shame you feel from seducing your Step Father." He said not to me but to his laptop. "What? I did not say that. I also did not seduce him!" I said forcefully and offended. He glanced up at me while typing and said, "Don't lie to me and more importantly stop lying to yourself." I was flustered and confused. "Why does he not believe me? Have I really been lying to myself?" I thought. "Maybe I. . .I did tease him, just once or twice, I don't remember doing so, but maybe I did." I confessed. I felt obligated to admit some level of guilt now that I was so unsure of what really happened.
He nodded. "So you're an exhibitionist?" he asked. "No, I don't enjoy people seeing me naked. I just don't care if people see me naked." I said. He looked sceptical and then he typed something on his laptop. "If you are not an exhibitionist, then why else would you be nude in front of your step father? Normal people don't casually coexist naked together." He spoke like he was in front of a jury. "I. . ." He cut me off once I spoke "It was because you were trying to seduce him. You don't have to hide things from me Lauren. Admit to me that you were trying to seduce him." He ordered.
"No. I am not an exhibitionist and I did not seduce my stepfather. I truly don't care about modesty. Sir, I promise, it is not a secret perversion of mine to flaunt my body in front of people." I said. He looked disappointed. "So you're telling me that you don't mind being naked in front of other people and that you are naked routinely during the day?"
"Yes sir, I am." I said. He made it sound like it was shameful, I had never thought it was that big of a deal. He looked more irritated now. "Ok. If you care so little about it then why don't you strip right now?" He said facetiously. "You know what? I will." I said. I stood and started removing my dress. "Lauren stop, it was sarcasm." He said, leaning forward. I let my dress fall to the floor around my feet. "Lauren seriously get dressed. . ." I ignored him and removed my bra and panties. I turned and wiped off my seat with my hand and sat, placing my right leg over my left. "Point proven." I said smugly.
His eyes rapidly shifted to the floor, then back at me, then to his laptop. He looked flushed, but maintained a professional tone. "I am going to recommend you for conservatorship and request that a court finds you a conservator. It is in my professional opinion that you are not competent to handle your own affairs." He spoke as he typed, as if he was dictating to himself.
"Wait, what? What is a cons-conserv.. . .whatever?" I asked, slowly reaching for my clothes. "Conservatorship. It is where an adult, in this case you, are assigned a legal guardian. Your caretaker will handle adult matters that you are not capable of taking care of yourself. You will be under somebody else's legal control, like you are still a child. " He explained closing his laptop and standing up.
