While on my phone and I discovered that I was following a Life Coach and Counselor on social media. I did not recognize him but decided to reach out to him for help.
My first counseling appointment was scheduled to be in a suite in an extravagant hotel. He had explained that his office was being renovated and his clients would normally have their sessions at their home, but I was not about to invite him to my one bedroom apartment. I bought a tight black dress just for the first meeting, it was flattering on my body but not scandalous.
I arrived at the therapy session a few minutes late. Embarrassed, I knocked on the door. The Life Coach answered wearing cheap slacks, a cheap dress shirt, a clip on tie, and plastic dress shoes. "Welcome, welcome. I am Mr. Adams." he said, as he looked me up and down. "Hi, I am Lauren." I replied meekly.
I walked a few steps into the room, and he gestured for me to sit on the couch. He sat in a chair across from me, and grabbed his laptop. "Okay Lauren, let's begin with a few simple questions." He said not looking up. "Okay." I replied. I was already uncomfortable and we had not even started yet.
He looked up at me. "How old are you?" he asked. "I am 31," I said. He continued, "What is your orientation?" "Straight," I said."Alright. What is your relationship status?" He said. "Single" I replied. "Are you currently taking any form of birth control?'' He asked. "Um not currently, no." I said, unsure of the relevance of that question. He asked several more background questions, and I summarized my social life and past relationships for him.
"You mentioned sexual abuse, could you talk about that please?" He said. I rubbed my sweaty hands on the couch. "Ok, well. . .um, well my step father used to grab butt, my breasts and he would. . .um." I said feeling my heart race. The therapist looked intrigued "Please continue." he requested. "He would also force himself upon me. . ." I answered. I squeezed my hands together trying to comfort myself. "Have you ever told anyone else about this?" He asked. "No. I . . .I was scared." I said blushing.
"Walk me through it. What happened after the alleged abuse? How did it affect you?" He said. I looked out the window and then at my hands. " Alleged?? My Step Father moved away and I fell into a deep depression. . .I felt and still feel violated and betrayed. I hate him. Eventually, I tried to contact him and tell him how much I hate him, but I don't have any up to date information about him." I said.
He typed and said "Yes alleged. What did you wear while living with your step father? What did you do to communicate that you wanted him to stop?" He Then continued typing. "Uh, um I wore a bathrobe most of the time and was naked the rest of the time. I am not an exhibitionist, I just. . .I don't know. I did nothing to get him to stop because I was traumatised." I said.
He finished typing and closed his laptop. He made eye contact with me "And you blame him?" He asked, shaking his head. I sat up a little straighter and said, "Yes, I blame him. Nudity is not an invitation or consent. As my legal guardian it was his responsibility to take care of me, not to take advantage of me. I believe my resentment towards him is completely rational."
He lowered his head into his hand, "You really are broken and emotionally unstable. Nobody is going to love you as you are right now, you're lucky I am willing to put up with you." He stated, wiping his face with his hand. I didn't understand how he had come to those conclusions and did not know how to respond.
"You're too sensitive. What you experienced was hardly abuse. You're really petty to be so upset at your step father over some playful banter and some sex. Sex that was all your fault for dressing provocatively. This is exactly why nobody likes you." His tone grew more condescending as he spoke.
I looked at him confused. "It was my fault?" I asked. "I never said that." He lied. "But I just heard you say. . ." I said before he interrupted me. "I am not a liar." he said. "Yes sir." I said, a little scared.
