Introduction:
This story is inspired by and in tribute to some of the women of this site who go in for the edgier and more extreme kinks and fetishes. I hope they appreciate it.
Brief Recap: After a week of cruel sexual slavery of the Consensual Nonconsent variety at the ranch, CapCunt and Kit-5 were driven back to the airport in San Francisco and set free. They struggled to adjust to normal life, and found each other on their mutual fetish website. Kit-5 flew out to stay with CapCunt. CapCunt didn't know why, but it felt like the right thing to do. When Kit-5 forced herself on CapCunt in the shower to butt-fuck her, something started clicking into place for CapCunt. That night, she cruelly dominated Kit-5, and then they slept pressed together on the couch, like they had in the cage at the ranch.
That pretty much set the pattern for us. Without warning or discussion, one of us would start dominating the other, and the scenario would play out as long as the one in charge kept it going. We alternated. Neither of us was ever the dominant without being dominated between scenarios. There was never any discussion whatsoever, either before or after. The rest of our weekend progressed this way until late Monday afternoon, when I dropped Kit-5 off at the airport. Our goodbye was very brief, as you can imagine.
Oh, one other salient detail about that first weekend (yes, I did say first). The day after our first night sleeping together on the couch, we drove to the nearest Ikea so that I could buy the widest couch I could find. Mine had been a might cramped, and I'd almost fallen off a few times.
I felt a strange sense of, I don't know, satisfaction, maybe inner calm or peace, after that weekend. Kit-5 and I didn't really communicate beyond our sexual/sado-masochistic dynamic. We didn't know much about each other, and I had no idea if we had anything in common beyond what we shared. But I guess we understood each other at some base level that was actually deeper than many relationships. We understood our mutual sexual deviancy. We also had a shared trauma from the experience we'd gone through...the experience we'd put ourselves through. The reminders of that were right there on Duke's profile: our contracts. I actually clicked over and looked at it every couple of days, maybe to remind myself of how I ended up in that van in the first place. I'm sure Kit-5 did as well. And, despite the intense feelings of fear and confusion, humiliation, degradation, and outright trauma that I'd experienced, you know what stayed with me the most and kept growing inside me? That's right, you guessed it: the sexual cravings. How could you even begin to start talking about that with someone outside of it?
Another aspect to my "relationship" with Kit-5 is that we kept our circle closed. All of those contracts on Duke's profile were not lost on me. There was also his friends list. I'd certainly combed through it. But I never reached out to any of those women, ever. If there was a support group waiting to happen, Kit-5 and I didn't want any part of it, for whatever reason. Like so many things, it's not something we ever articulated to each other, or at least in my case, to myself. It was just an instinctual thing not to reach out to anyone besides each other, and not to really talk about it between each other.
As I hinted at above, that was only the first weekend. A month or so later, Kit-5 messaged me about another weekend coming up, where she would be arriving in Indianapolis. That was all the communication there was on that. I showed up at the airport at the given day and time, and there she was. We started in that night where we left off, and carried on until it was time to drop her off at the airport again. These visits became more and more frequent, usually every month or two. At some point I informed her that I would arrive in Portland, and Kit-5 was there to pick me up. She lived in a tiny studio apartment, but the couch was nice and wide. The activities between us grew more intense every time. We were constantly pushing each other's limits, which is saying something, since we'd never established any limits to begin with.
Portland had access to a whole host of BDSM related facilities that simply did not exist in Indiana. On my second visit there, I had Kit-5 drive us on a tour of fetish clubs and dungeons one night. It might have been a little nerve-racking for her, worrying about being recognized in her home-town. Although, it was such an open, liberal area of the United States, that I doubt any social stigma could arise from it. Not that I cared. I knew I was too far from home to worry about things, and it was my "turn" to be the dominate one, so I simply chose not to bother being concerned about her feelings.
The night after our tour we returned to one dungeon in particular. I approached a Whipmaster with a proposition: to whip Kit-5 for $50 in cash for as long and as hard as I wanted. He tried to explain to me that it didn't work that way, but I didn't care. For me to be satisfied, it needed to be a cash transaction. So he took the $50, bound her to a cross in a private room, and whipped her while I masturbated. This big, bald, bearded, muscled, tattooed Whipmaster quickly found his own limits, as he worried about going too far with Kit-5. I firmly told him that I was the one in charge, and the whipping didn't stop until I'd cum. I finally allowed him to un-gag Kit-5 so that she could confirm it, and he then carried through with it. After I'd cum, I paid him another $50 to call her names and fuck her in the ass until I came again. It was a good lesson for him on keeping it up for a long period of time, as I edged myself for as long as I could handle not cumming.
Another crucial aspect to our relationship was our messaging. Kit-5 started opening up about the guys she was meeting, and I did the same. She was basically sending me reports, as if she had to report to me for some reason. This message is a pretty typical example:
Kit-5: Met up with a guy down in Hood River. It's our fourth time. He only reaches out when his wife is out of town. I drove down Friday. He likes to start his weekends this way. He really gets off on beating me with a wooden paddle, with me bent over and spread out over his kitchen table. He jerks himself between whippings in front of my face and edges as long as he can stand it. Last night he took breaks to watch a game while I stayed tied over the table. He never uses my mouth, because he doesn't want to un-gag me, so he uses the other two holes when he's finally ready to fuck. He lubes up in my pussy, and just fucks my ass to cum. Sometimes it takes a long time, after all that edging. Not last night. I'm not welcome to stay over, and he won't let me be seen in town the next day, so I have to drive back afterwards. I made it back to my apartment about 4:30 in the morning.
I don't know why she thought I needed to know any of this, or why she felt compelled to share it. Maybe she couldn't handle a double life completely, after the experience at Duke & Sado-Chick's ranch. If that was so, I was the only person on Earth who could possibly understand what she might be going through. After Kit-5 started this trend, I followed suit, and sent her reports of my hook-ups. We never commented on them, or searched for any sort of context through discussion. Maybe it's because for all the time and effort we put into them, something was missing.
That was true for me at least. I got off with the men I saw, especially with the more brutal dominants, when they would allow me to get off. But I didn't feel anything for these men. There was no emotional connection, and no attempt at any relationships. They were simply props to use me like an object, whereas ironically they were really objects I used in my quest to feel used. Ok, I'm confusing even myself now.
Not only did I not want to have dinner or any conversations with these men, I even skipped the introductory coffee when I could. I imagine I was a refreshing change from the average woman, who even on F*t, wanted a relationship of some kind more often or not. And when my mind drifted during masturbation at home, it always drifted back to Duke & Sado-Chick at that ranch. Duke & Sado-Chick were my captors. I was nothing more to them than prey to them and yet...and yet...there was something there, some sort of connection. I was bonded to them, because of the heightened circumstances of our week together. I didn't want to be, but I couldn't deny it. Kit-5 must have felt the same way.
Kit-5 and I settled into this pattern in our lives for quite some time. We lived our straight lives, but avoided all pretense of romantic relationships. We pursued sado-masochistic hook-ups with men we met online, never seeing any of them with much frequency, or usually for that long. And we got together every month or so to take turns doing cruel things to each other, and I guess communicate by not communicating. But everything evolves, no matter how hard we may try to keep it from happening.
I had a coffee date with a prospective Dom in Cincinnati. It was Saturday, so I expected this to just be a formality, and ditch the coffees to go back to his place. That was my usual M.O. But this guy was different. He seemed off. I didn't get a good vibe from him. I know, after Duke, what right do I have to judge someone by their vibe? But my instinct said cut and run, so I did. I just got up without any warning, walked out that door, and drove away. I whipped out my phone to block him at a stoplight, and kept on driving. He would never be able to find me. I was still hungry for play, so I reached out to a Dom I hadn't bothered with in months. He was happy to ditch a date he was on to tie me up and whip me at his apartment. I messaged Kit-5 later when I got home.
CapCunt: Met a man for coffee in Cincinnati tonight. Something seemed off. Have no idea what. But I walked away and blocked him. This was a new experience. I've never done it before.
Unusually, Kit-5 replied to me.
Kit-5: What did that feel like?
CapCunt: I'm not sure. It feels all right I guess. Maybe I wouldn't be able to say that if I'd gone home with him.
Kit-5: Maybe I should try it sometime, to see what it feels like.
CapCunt: Maybe you should.
Than I added something else that was uncharacteristic of me.
CapCunt: I'm going to masturbate now, and make it last through the videos of you getting ass-fucked in the dirt and whipped while I screamed all those names at you.