Do you ever stop and think, how did I get here?
Well, that is what I was thinking. Sat here on this damp wooden bench outside the train station. It started out that I came here when the sudden panic crept into my chest again. The urge to keep moving location made me practically sprint to this little station to get the next train to god knows where. I sat on this old wooden bench to calm down, the blue-now-brown paint slowly flaking off the wood panels and onto my clothes, I didn't mind though.
I was too busy trying to get my heart to stop beating out my chest.
Breathe Josie breathe...deep breathes...no one will find you here.
After I kept reciting this to myself, ten times, twenty times, maybe even thirty times I had convinced myself I was safe.
I kept doing this for weeks, eventually when weeks turned to months whenever I was feeling anxious or stressed I'd just go and sit on this bench, rain or shine. Today was rain.
But after every trip to this bench, I'd reward myself with a hot chocolate from the little coffee shop across the street. I was now officially a regular.
However today I kept thinking, how did I end up here? I guess what was difficult to answer.
How did I end up in this little town specifically? Or how did I end up finding some small happiness in this new found life of mine? The bigger question on my mind though was, how long did I have in this new found life in this little town?
Today had marked officially six months since my escape from...him.
I had just realised the date when I saw a young couple leaving the coffee shop holding hands and sharing each other's drinks. Laughing when he spilt his down his chin, smiling when she put his hand in his and strolled down the street.
I just kept thinking, what if that could have been me? A normal guy asking out a normal girl and we went on normal dates and had a normal relationship. But no.
So that got me thinking, How long has it been since he stole me away. I'd have to say a year and six months. Well, a year and six months and two weeks if we're really counting. I know that because it was two weeks after our so-called first year anniversary and by counting the months, I've been gone six whole months.
I wonder if he stopped looking for me by now? Not that he'd find me here. I made sure to pick the smallest populated, dead looking town there was. At least a two-day drive from where he was. But the thought still arose in my head from time to time. That's why I was sitting on this bench. Speaking of which, now that my butt was soaking wet from the bench I had decided that it was time for my chocolaty reward.
I crossed the street and opened the door, the bell giving a little ding to announce my arrival. Heather, the owner of the place greeted me with her smile as always.
"Your usual, Lisa?"
I changed my name when I came here to further prevent any detection, It was my middle name Josie Lisa Turner, technically I wasn't using a fake name.
"Yes please, With extra marshmallows?"
She laughed "How could I forget? coming right up hun"
I always had a sweet-tooth, even as a kid I loved things sweet. She passed me my cup and before I could get my purse out she shook her head at me.
"Oh no, this is on the house. You deserve this from sitting outside in the rain on that bench again. You really have to stop doing that" Her dark brown eyes looked at me filled with concern. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks with embarrassment, I couldn't really tell her why I was sat there. Oh it's just my six-month anniversary of freedom since my escape from being a kidnapped sex slave! Hope you don't mind!
Instead I just tried to smile through my blushing and said "Thanks, I like sitting outside - it cools me down". Her eyebrows went up in interest "Oh I get you, cool you down after a run? We get lots of runners around here." Oh I was a runner alright... just not the type she expected. "We should go for a run sometime, Lord knows I need to get back into shape!"
I smiled at her proposition, realising she was my first real friend in this town.
"Sure, it's a date!"
She waved me out the shop as I started walking back to my little apartment. It wasn't the best of places to call home, It had bare floorboards and the wallpaper was damp and falling off, my heater barely worked at the best of times. But at the end of the day this was my little disaster apartment. I climbed the usual two flights of stairs to reach No. 4 with the green painted door. The one thing I could say was top notch was my door locks.
I made sure when I decided to stay here, my first thing to do was buy at least 3 locks from the hardware store. The man there told me they were "The best of the best to buy".
When I got in, I went straight to check on Gibbles. He was my hamster. I was never allowed a pet, not even when I was with him - and when I moved here, I got scared of being in this place alone. It wasn't really planned, I was out looking for any job I could get and walked past the little pet store. I looked in the window and saw a whole wall of hamsters with a big sign that said "Little Hamsters Big Sale: $4.99" I could spare five bucks for a new roommate!
So I got him, his food and his new cage, making sure to get all the things that go with it. Since I bought my little rebellion, he has been the best friend a girl could have.
